Not long ago, I added “Go Guilty Pleasures” to my blog banner in scandalously cursive, deliciously red text. I constantly occasionally amuse myself imagining people getting caught by their spouses/significant others/cats reading my blog on their lap tops, in the dark.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: What is that?
You: N-nothing. Slams lap top shut.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: No, no. I saw some girl and the words “guilty pleasures.”
You (laughing nervously): Ohh. It’s just a blog I like to read sometimes.
Imaginary spouse/significant other/cat: Is that code for… never mind. I don’t even want to know. Walks away.
Since you like to reread all of my posts before you go to bed, you probably remember that my banner photo is, in my fuzzy little chipmunk brain, the epitome of guilty pleasure. Sunset, beach, etc. I’m not particularly fond of the photo; I’m not even wearing make-up, for crying out loud. But, it evokes happy memories of when I first laid eyes on the Pacific Ocean, and of my first vacation with Peppermeister.
It also makes me think about my first romance novel book cover. I mean, the one I imagine being on after I’m done picturing you getting busted for reading my blog in the dark.
It looks at lot like this:
"I swear I felt a bobby pin in there somewhere. No?"
What would your smutty romance novel book cover look like? …If that question makes you uncomfortable (and it really should), here’s an alternate: how often do you read my blog before you go to bed?
You were a born model.
I couldn’t agree more.
Breathtaking photo!
My romance novel photo would have a man with less prettier hair than me.
It’s some of my best work.
HA! You make an excellent point. I was one missed conditioning treatment away from being upstaged in that shoot.
That must have been one heck of a photo session! Did his chest grease get in your long, flowing hair?
My romance novel would, of course, feature Alexander Skarsgard and me in a similar pose! 
It’s funny, most people ask if I was blushing during the shoot (of course not; I’m a professional), but no one cares that I had to spend the entire night getting coconut-scented body oil out of my hair. Also, he had really bad breath.
But of course. And now that you mention it, Alexander Skarsgard would be PERFECT for one of these covers! I bet he’s minty fresh.
Haha! This blog is so Days of My Life… thanks for providing great dramedy!
That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about this blog. I think. I have amnesia and am pretty sure my long-lost twin is out to kill me, so I’m not going to bet money on that (plus my evil uncle stole my inheritance anyway).
HA! I’m sick right now, so I’m happy to have something delightful to turn my attention toward during my half-hour drive to daycare. What will it be, what will it be?
On my upcoming 33rd birthday, I’m going to be posting a photo edit of “Gandeb” from back in my law school days. It’s going up with another flashback, my 30th birthday letter to friends, which–di-da! (as Li’l D would say, not quite hitting the “ta-da!”)–also touches on Gandalf. Not as steamy . . . OK, well, not steamy at all, but I always love ridiculous photo edits.
Actually, I may have to email you the icon before I head to daycare. 0:) If I can find it that fast!
I’m sorry to hear you’re sick! I hope you’re feeling better today.
Thanks SO much for sending the photos – love love LOVE (lovelovelove) it! I can’t wait for that post (when’s your birthday??)!
I am feeling better! I felt much better still after I broke fast with some seriously tasty spicy eggplant. (Then again, I think natto would have been tasty by that point!)
My birthday’s three weeks from today. I’m not really sure why, but I’m much more excited than usual for it this year. Maybe it’s just the Gandeb factor?
Or the fact my party’s been held in a park significant in the BtVS musical episode? (That’s not why I selected it, for the record; it was pretty close to my house when I got into running, so my 2004 marathon training involved running up and through it. Visiting there brings me happy memories, and makes me marvel at just how much life has changed for the awesome since. (Also, I really love parentheticals. (Just in case you couldn’t tell. (Because I know it’s hard to tell!))))
So glad to hear you’re feeling better, and looking forward to your birthday! That park looks GORGEOUS! (Parentheticals rule. (A lot.))
P.S. – Glad you hyperlinked to the natto definition – I had no idea what that was. It looks…sticky. LOL
You’re a total pro. You have the perfect expression of “Worship me now. I’m bored. But I could get all hot & bothered any second, chest-grease boy.”
I’m with She’s a Maineiac, that the guy has to have less prettier hair than me. In fact, he must be less pretty than me all the way around.
Ummm. . . what are you sitting on?
Very astute and accurate critique, JM. I can see you’re a lady who’s been around a romance novel cover or two.
I was squatting in anticipation.
Very well done. I had a hard time determining which of the two people had been photo-shopped.
I don’t even know what you’re talking about. People usually compliment the right angles surrounding my noggin.
LOVE IT!
The dirt stains are never going to come out of that dress. That’s probably why the guy took off all his clothes. That’s one practical-thinking fellow you’ve got there.
So, what’s this about a romance-novel cover?
He barely spoke a word of English, but when he took off his clothes, I’m pretty sure he said something about wishing I looked more like Fabio.
Totally unrelated question: Sooo, what do you think of Person of Interest? I’m on the fence.
Me too. It’s… fine. Almost everything in it is simultaneously fairly great and kind of dumb. It seems like it presents itself as a smart, complex show, but then it’s not all that smart. So, yeah, I’m torn. I’m giving it a few more episodes to find its footing.
LOVED this! Thanks for sharing the video. It was inspiring!
Thanks!!
If my wife ever caught me reading Go Guilty Pleasure, she’d probably think I was on a website that sells steaks wholesale or has exotic lenses for my camera. So, you’re wondering about the cover to my romantic novel, eh? (sure hope this embed works!)
"Blissful Romance" by HoaiPhai
I knew I could count on you! That picture is going on the wall of shame, I mean, fame.
Oh, doody…it didn’t work. One last try! If it doesn’t work, look for the image here…
http://hoaiphai.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/costanza-coon.jpg
and the caption is ” ‘Blissful Romance’ by HoaiPhai”
Oh. Crap. That made me laugh so hard. Thank you for that!
That is just spectacular. -kate
Thanks, Kate! It was a long day, and the male model had bad breath and sweat profusely under the studio lights, but hey – all in the name of art, I always say.
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Hahaha! This is hilarious. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. =)
Thank you so much, Jenna! Miguel and I approach our sultriest covers with a certain irony; clearly your discerning eye caught that.
Hilarious post… happy friday it is…
Thank you so much! Hope you’re having a guilty pleasure-filled weekend!
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I am reading your blog right before bed right now…