New Jersey. Fuhgeddaboudit!

I got your greetings right here. Oh! Fuhgeddaboudit.

I’m from the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved in gold[en tanning lotion] and the hills run with honey [-colored highlights].

Where, when driving 35 miles east to work, I pass not one, not two, but three shopping malls. Fuhgeddaboudit.

Where, most importantly, it’s not considered at all rude to shout, “Get the hell oudda here!”

That’s right. These are my brethren bubbies:

I am likely no more than 3 degrees of separation from all of these people.

Being from “The Garden State” can be confusing. People fly into Newark Airport and, if not distracted by the acrid smell of industry’s finest power plants, come to realize there isn’t a flower or turnip in sight*. Fuhgeddaboudit.

If they ask for a hoagie or a pop, they may be met with, “Oh! Speak English!” We identify most with our ‘exit’ – the number of the Garden State Parkway exit you take to get to our hometown, whatever that might be (135 in the house, yo!). New York City is simply “The City” (if appropriate, a borough is specified), and getting the world’s best pizza and bagels from any seedy-looking strip mall is not so much appreciated as it is expected. Fuhgeddaboudit. You might have noticed my liberal use of “Fuhgeddaboudit” throughout this post. That’s another confusing thing about New Jersey. Not only can you get away with saying this (in joking fashion or with all the sincerity of a mother chipmunk tending to her teeny, tiny baby chipmunks), you can use it in a number of conflicting ways: You need a ride to the train station because you’re getting your Mazda tramp stamped? Fuhgeddaboudit! Your mother-in-law told your hairdresser to tone down your pouf? Fuhgeddaboudit! You tried those calzones at Vinny’s? Fuhgeddaboudit! As you can see, it means both “Of course! Don’t think twice!” and “Aw hell no!” Most commonly, though, as Urban Dictionary so eloquently states, it means: “The subject is unequivocally excellent; further thought and analysis are unnecessary.” …My head hurts. Does anyone want to do shots? What do you love/hate about your motherland? *Let us remember, though, I have a barn. Jersey has so much to offer**. **FuhgeddabouditPhoto Credits:#1 (postcard) – edisonnewjerseyhomes.com#2 (Jersey Shore cast) – jerseyshoreshow.org#3 (t-shirt) – raggedshirts.com

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46 responses to “New Jersey. Fuhgeddaboudit!

  1. And remember what they say, “Every time you watch Jersey Shore, a book commits suicide.”

  2. I had a comment, but I like totally forgot about it. So said the California girl.

  3. I’m in Jersey too. Most of the times I hear someone say “fuhgeddaboudit” it’s because I’m not quite understanding what it is they’re saying and they’re so frustrated they want me to just drop the issue. We’re not much for conversation here as you well know.

  4. I did not know this about you. How did I not know this about you? I took a few years of French in high school, but can barely ask where the bathroom is without causing Frenchie-Pierre types to simultaneously sniff in disdain and snort in amusement.

    Congratulations on mastering another language – those kind of skills are so useful in life.

  5. I am from Indiana, not much here but corn stalks..

    If you want something to do on a Friday night, we have mini golf, bowling, movies, the mall ( I can go through the whole thing in like a half hour), or a pool hall (just dont wear your hat backwards in there, they make you turn it around due to gang issues)… um yeah.. in winter skating or sledding.. we did just have an off-leash dog park added a few years ago.. but yeah, that’s about it!

  6. Toronto: according to the rest of Canada, the rudest place on earth (or at least, in Canada, eh?). Toronto: according to Torontonians, the only place on earth. No, seriously, there’s a city full of fuhgeddaboudit-speaking humans in the not-Toronto wasteland? With barns?! I didn’t think humans had started re-forming civilizations out past the GTA limits.
    also, so hilarious, “with all the sincerity of a mother chipmunk tending to her teeny, tiny baby chipmunks”. :)

    • Really?! I’ve been to Toronto and don’t remember encountering any rudeness! OMG. Am I too Jersey-jaded to notice?!?!

      Your comment cracked me up – so good to see you here at GoGuiltyPleasures (where chipmunks, both young and old, reign supreme)! :)

  7. The only part of Jersey I’ve ever seen is the inside of Newark airport. Quite a lovely place. I used to fly by myself at the age of 18 across country to college, so my dad wisely advised me to just walk real fast and avert my eyes a lot when I connected in Newark…definitely no eye contact. (not knocking Jersey, my dad grew up in New York City, so I suppose he had his reasons…)

    And yes, you do have a barn, so there’s that. But I also have a barn. A pretty big one right in my backyard (see my blog header picture) along with some loopy cows. See, not only is Maine The place fashion goes to die it’s also the place where loopy cows are embraced and moose run rampant in the streets only to be hit by someone’s 1992 ford festiva.

    • Hey, I’VE got a barn, too. Really! No cows or other livestock (unless you count one incontinent cat), but still. I KNEW we shared some common something that made us all so close and all, besides madly funny blogging skills. Everybody has a barn!

    • He’s so right about no eye contact! You will only invite the crazies, because all the normal people are avoiding eye contact, too. LOL

      Your cows make me want to get up in the morning. That video of them running was spectacular!

      Oh and your Festiva comment cracked me up!

  8. I will be in Joy-zee this weekend!! Holla. Atlantic City specifically. You see, it’s my birthday. That’s right, we are living it up, high class, yo!

    Maryland: home of the crabs. Actually, I love steamed crabs, the Ravens, the Orioles (if they will ever win a damn game!), the fantastic array of restaurants, culture, & entertainment options, it’s proximity to DC (even though I hardly ever go), and ocean city, MD. I hate the crime, the stupidity of people and government, my commute to work, the rampant drug abuse in the city, and the stupid Baltimore Grand Prix which stops me from getting in to work for 3 whole days (and with a 5 year renewal, yippee!).

    • Holla!! And Happy Birthday! I had my bachelorette party in A.C., though sadly, we did not see Thunder Down Under.

      Your Maryland crab is to die for. Gah. This is a hard comment reply to type while starving.

  9. I don’t understand NJ. I have a cousin in Montclair and a friend in Cherry Hill and they tell me they are hours away from each other. Whaaaat?

    • Isn’t NJ confusing? ;) But, they’re right, LOL It probably takes like 2.5 hours (or more) to get between Monclair and Cherry Hill – Cherry Hill is really far south, and Montclair is pretty far north (I think to drive from the top to bottom of Jersey would take about…3.5 hours with no traffic; east to west is like 1.5-2 hours*.)

      *do I smell a roadtrip experiment?! Or is that just the Newark Airport stench wafting west?

  10. Yo, like if you’re like three degrees separated from the hos on Jersey Shore, how many degrees separated is like this Virginian?

  11. I’d never fit in. There’s so much I still don’t know about my birth state.

    • If you ever decide to return, I’ll greet you with a welcome kit. That is to say, I’ll cut you off in the parking lot and tell you what I really think of your mother.

  12. This is appropriately timed given a couple of comments just left on a friend’s Facebook status!

    Love: University of Oregon
    Do not love: OSU

    My fighting spirit isn’t too strong, though. Witness:
    Deb I love this as much as I don’t love OSU. Which is to say, a lot. 0:)
    5 minutes ago · Like
    Deb OK, I can’t even let ^ stand as a joke. I really don’t dislike OSU that much, whereas I love this A LOT.
    about a minute ago · Like

  13. Connecticut here. We’re famous for … snootiness, maybe.

  14. Jersey Shore….will I ever understand it? Fuhgeddaboudit!

    (that was lame)

    Anyways, California, what do I love/hate about you?!?

    This may take awhile…

  15. I always get a kick when Oregon makes the news for some bizarre thing. Anything bizarre, either liberal hippie stuff, or “I don’t recognize the authority of your so-called government” stuff.

    And Portland right now is so ridiculously hip and cool that it’s kind of neat, but kind of sad, because 1) that means in a couple years it will “used to be” hip and cool and 2) sometimes it needs to get over itself. I was in Portland on Friday and when I was parking the attendant told me I got half off because my car’s a hybrid. Half of me thought, “Cool!” The other half felt like, “Oh, BROTHER.”

    • I feel like Portland has always been hip and cool. Maybe ’cause Jersey has never been hip and cool. Sopranos just made us even scarier. And I didn’t know you drove a hybrid. I’m so failing at stalking you. Next thing you know, I won’t even be able to secure a lock of your hair for my shrine.

  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLW3_Ieckm4 im embarrassed to say that this is the UKs answer to jersey shore. full. body. shudder

  17. I forgot to tell you that while visiting the new and most awesome shooting range that recently opened in our fair state, I passed the 11th Hour Rescue shelter. Next time I go shooting I’m gonna bring them some paper towels, fuhgeddaboudit!

  18. Oh Jules. NJ has gotten such a bad rap, hasn’t it? There are so many great things about NJ, like….I’m sure something will come to mind soon. :)

    Now Brooklyn, on the other hand, well we have the Nets starting this fall. ;)

    • Oh, Jackie, but where else can you find 3 malls to get your belly pierced/back tramp stamped-two-for-one-special within 15 minutes of each other?

      • You are so right! I’m on the way! I’ll meet you at the Piercing Pagoda.

        I just have to stop off to get my car’s gas tank filled first. I think it’s so polite that they still pump for you.

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