Dearest Loved Ones,
While I know it is usually you who expresses gratitude to me, for bringing such
light and laughter to your dreary lives [filled with not loving chipmunks and eating calorie-conscious meals], let us take this time to acknowledge my appreciation for all you do to appease me, especially on my birthday.
To my husband, Peppermeister, with your unparalleled taste in spouses: You took it upon yourself to hire a man to put us in a basket tied to a balloon as a “gift.” Even though they have absolutely no control over where the basket will go, or land, I know this is your way of saying that our love will forever defy the odds. And not at all that you want to kill me.
By the way, GoGuiltyPleasures slap bracelets double as balloon weights. You're welcome.
To my wonderful mother, Babs, who finally got it right with her third child: You made a beautiful photo album, capturing the last 30 29+ years of my enviable life, because you felt visitors were not jealous enough of my current coffee table book, The Pop-Up Book of Phobias. Without your loving and watchful eye, these visitors might have left my home feeling like they had the upper hand – all because I serve White Castle and haven’t cleaned behind the TV in two years!
"I despise math, history bores me..."
To my genius father who still has all of his hair: I am willing to overlook those disturbing quotes from my college application essay that you included in the above album. I know that dredging up embarrassing memories is your way of trying to make your other children feel a little better about being constantly overlooked. You always try to be fair that way, even though it’s hopeless.
To my insane triathlon-competing sister: Thank you for wearing the dress
I loaned you four months ago to my birthday dinner; you looked really great in it. It’s clear you wanted everyone to see what impeccable style I have, and I’m not jealous at all. But you should know that that one will be out of fashion soon, so you should just give it back. I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself.
To my adorable niece and nephew, who take after their aunt in looks: Thank you for giving me hope that someone I know will eventually join a glee club based on his top-notch jazz hands, thus exponentially increasing my chances of meeting Second Husband, Darren Criss. Also thank you for believing I’m famous because I refer to my “blog” as “a super popular website.”
To my completely normal and nice in-laws: I’m forever delighted by the ability of our families to get together without fights, tears or backhanded compliments. It’s like I didn’t even steal your only son away from you. Oh and that gift card is pretty sweet, too. Keep those coming.
To my best friend, Jenn: No one gets me like you do. Except for that guy who makes my egg sandwiches and puts way more cheese on them than is remotely appropriate. No, no one gets me like you do. And no one gets me flowers except you, either. Actually, that’s kind of a problem. Let’s talk about how to fix that the next time we get together.
I love that you love me, family and friends. Clearly loving me so much has made all of you better people.
But don’t worry about thanking me for that yet. Christmas is just around the corner.
Love always, or until all that champagne you got me runs out,
Jules
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What’s the most guilty pleasure-ful gift you’ve ever gotten?
Julie! This is great! I’m going to get my reading glasses because something tells me that plaque that your dad made is going to make my day! Best guilty pleasures gift? Um, it is my understanding that it is on the way!
Squeeee! I’m one excited chipmunk!
Thanks, Renee! Eesh, I’m not sure I WANT anyone to zoom in on that picture, LOL!
Squeeeee! I hope you have it by Friday (I’m optimistic)!!!
This is the birthday thank-you letter ever! It’s full of giggle-inspiring treasure, but one preface in particular had me in stitches: To my wonderful mother, Babs, who finally got it right with her third child
Deb, my post titles do NOT lie.
Tee hee. Thank you so much! Babs just commented on Facebook [in response to this] asking for my Christmas wish list. HA! My family is the best.
Awwwww…. You’re so cute.
You are!
Aww!
Of course you have the Pop-Up Book of Phobias. CC discovered my clown phobia when he was browsing through that book in a store in SF, got to the clown page, and I literally ran out of the store screaming. I had known him for approximately ten days at this point, and he was my boss. Hey, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Ha! Of course you have a history with this book, JM! I hope, er, bet CC has never let you live that down…
Did Jenn put together those awesome Uncle Jesse flowers??? That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!
Lying to your innocent nephew so shamelessly? Tsk Tsk.
It appears the arrangement was technically the doing of 1-800-FLOWERS, but, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jenn provided them with explicit instructions. And a sketch.
Oh, Peg. You know. Shamelessly is the only way I know how to do things.
It’s a tossup between both volumes containing every script from Monty Python’s Flying Circus or the Daffy Duck lunchbox I got on my 35th birthday….
Niiiiice. Now, do you actually use the lunchbox or is it in a special collectible place? I’m just saying you need some way to transport your Pop Tarts, is all.
Well if I HAD some pop tarts I would certainly use it for that purpose…:>)
That is really sweet. And so obvious how much your family knows you. THREE bottles of champagne? Yep, I would be penning thank you notes as well! Glad you had such a wonderful and loving birthday. Here’s hoping the weekend is clear so you can get that balloon ride in!
Misty, I actually got FIVE bottles of champagne altogether. And guess how many are left? One. Which is one more than I thought there’d be right now.
Fingers crossed for Sunday! I cannot wait to put my life in the hands of a balloon.
If that photo next to the section about Jenn contains an exact replica of Uncle Jesse made of flowers, then I really am impressed.
I don’t mess around when it comes to besties, B-Man. As you well know.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULES!
I am glad you were surrounded by love!
Thanks, Susie! I definitely feel the sweet, sweet lovin’!
haha, only family would unashamedly wear a borrowed dress to your party!
great post!
LOL She really did look HAWT it in! But it totally reminded me she has like 6 of my dresses (that I MIGHT actually fit into again soon)!
Thanks so much!
How do I go about hiring you to write my Thank You notes for me from now on..?
You should know that I will do just about anything for the right price. Or for compliments on my appearance.
What a FABU party! Your sister has a lovely navel, btw.
Your best friend is REALLY short of Uncle Jesse has had a growth spurt. How did she carry those flowers when she’s so tiny? (assuming she’s under/ behind them…)
My sis is gorgeous! Oh, you know how we were talking about skin not long ago, and mine is all lies? Hers is genuinely flawless. You can’t see any pores at all. That bee-atch.
And ha! re: Jenn. She prefers ‘vertically challenged.’
She can’t be more than a few inches tall, bless her! Your sister *is* gorgeous. I had to pass on that “compliment” that I received from a coworker one time when I wore a Vneck shirt. ;p
Guilty pleasure gift given to me by my dear friend Julie: pajama pants with monkeys on them, The Little Mermaid DVD, wine glasses, wine, and coasters to put the wine-filled glasses on. I have good friends.
Oh man, Julies all OVER rocking’ the guilty pleasure gifts. I love it! That is SO right up my alley. She’s a keeper, LOL The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie (I was lucky enough to see it on Broadway 2-3 years ago, and it was AWESOME)!
Hands-down my favorite, too. I love to sing the songs, which Julie and I do often while hiking (I should be embarrassed to say that, but I’m not). Jealous of your Broadway trip. I saw Beauty and the Beast a while back. Not the same. Ariel’s my girl!
Happy HAPPY HAPPY Birthday. LIke 100 times. You don’t look a day of 25.
Also are those flowers of dogs??
hee hee Thanks so much, Marta! Can you believe the celebration continues this weekend with a sleepover at Jenn’s on Sat and a hot air balloon ride on Sun (got postponed because of the weather)?! I am one spoiled chipmunk.
Yes! Two dogs made of white flowers – isn’t it ADORABLE? That Jenn. She doesn’t mess around.
Hey, I don’t know if you ever read Lenore Diane, but this post made me think of you.
http://lenorediane.com/2012/05/01/opossums-arent-the-only-ones-that-play-dead/
I have NO idea why that story would make you think of me… Thanks for clueing me in (I just commented over yonder)!
Hasn’t this birthday been going on for like… ever? Your husband seems like a cool guy with the ballon thing. You wouldn’t happen to be your mother’s third kid, would you? Your sister looks Ab Fab in that dress! What’s with the chipmunks? Cute kids. Wow… Some Birthday Cake… oh yeah, Happy Birthday Jules!!!
hahaha Ted, don’t read my comment reply I just left for Marta then (the celebration continues this weekend – the balloon ride was postponed because of the weather)! My actually bday was Monday; I am VERY spoiled.
And, why, yes, I happen to be the 3rd child… LOL As for the chipmunks, I’ve always had a fascination with them. I hardly ever see them, and when I do they melt my guilty pleasure heart. So somewhere along the way here, I started calling my bloggy friends ‘chipmunks’ and it sort of took on a life of its own.
Thank you!!
Hi Jules, I am glad you had a fabulous birthday ever, looking so glamorously beautiful. Here’s what I did on your birthday.
photo/1
Oh my gosh, now THAT warms my guilty pleasure heart! I don’t know why I didn’t get an alert about that tweet (they’re supposed to come to my phone, because I am shamefully bad with FB and Twitter)?! Thank you SO much! I will definitely toast to that!
Aw! You had such a great birthday, surrounded by loving family and cupcakes! Perfect!
I really did! And OMG, my sister made those cupcakes – chocolate with p.b. frosting. They were AMAZING! The other stuff was my birthday standard, Cheesecake Factory cheesecake (I don’t know how they do it, I really don’t).
I was going to ask you what flavor and now I am drooling all over my computer. So like a Reese’s cup you might say, huh? You lucky lucky girl!
Oh my lord the flower arrangement. Above and beyond. Wow.
Excellent thank you letter. So funny as usual.
I’m not sure what my guiltiest pleasure-ful present is so i will tell you two present related things instead:
First off when i was a kid i would always tell my sister what she was getting for her birthday from mom. I couldn’t hold the excitement in and i had 0 patience as a child.
Secondly when i would go to other kids birthday parties i would get my mom to buy them something i liked instead of them and i would get really mad if the kid at the birthday party didn’t open their gifts fast enough and would try to help them unwrap out of the impatiencekindness of my heart . Some people are so ungrateful you know?
booo my strikethrough of the word impatience before kindness didn’t work. You’ll have to use your imaginhtmltion
haha Oh you crack me up! That’s so great (every part of these two comments). It reminded me that I totally blew my sister’s surprise bridal shower (she asked if someone was coming to the shower, and I blurted, “DUH! It’s at her HOUSE!” It took me a second of my whole family staring at me before I realized my blunder, LOL).