Daily Archives: May 15, 2012

Being Sick is No Laughing Matter. Okay. It Totally Is.

Chipmunks.

I really hope those of you with blogs aren’t writing anything good right now. Just try to hold off for a few more days, okay?

Because I’m sick.

And did you know bronchitis / sinusitis warrants opiates in the form of cough suppressant pills?

Whoa.

In my head last night, I wrote a whole post that ended in, “Is this real life?” In my head last night, I responded to all of your comments with funny, meaningful insights, like, “I can’t feel my legs.” In my head last night, I still had a voice, and that voice could SING!

Let’s just be glad all of that stayed in my head. Unlike this list:

Things That Made Me Cough Laugh About Being High Sick

Don’t stare directly at them! …And don’t check the basement.

  • Telling the nurse, who asked for my family health history, that “we all croak from cancer”
  • Discharge papers that say both “avoid dairy” and “eat yogurt if taking antibiotics”
  • After the nurse felt my throat and asked, “How does this make you feel?” me saying, “Like coughing all over you”
  • …Dang. I guess that’s it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to get back to High School Musical. …These kids don’t look high at all.

…Is this real life?

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