My Dad Saved My Life. And Then We Went to Burger King.

Recently, I may have suggested my dad was only one of the great things to come out of Long Island. The truth is, not a lot of people can do the things my dad does. Like, he can read in the car without getting sick. And he makes really good steak. Not at the same time; don’t be ridiculous.

Oh and when I was 2, I was way ahead of my time and awesome I saw a swimming pool and was like, “Deep end, here I COME!” Bam, I jumped in to join my older brother and sister, and my chubby bum sunk straight to the bottom. Without a second thought, my dad lept in to save me, breaking his glasses along the way.

I think that’s why we get along so well. I could have been all, “Well, you brought me into this world, it’s your job to keep me here,” but instead I was like, “Thanks for that, Pop. One day I’ll join the swim team and make you proud stay afloat.”

As if that wasn’t enough, he used to take me on father-daughter trips to Bowcraft, this tiny, creepy amusement park next to a highway, and then across the street to Burger King. Those were the days, back when trans fat was what was for dinner, and winning enough tickets to get chinese finger cuffs was all you needed.

My dad is also a genius. I mean, yeah, okay, the real kind with a doctorate and Ivy League-y things, but whatever. I mean the practical kind of genius. Street smarts. Case in point: We used to go on long road trips in a small car, with all three kids crammed in the backseat. It was a recipe for disaster. So he came up with something called the Points System. We earned points for being good, and got them taken away when we were bad.

If we didn’t have enough points by the time we got to Burger King, we weren’t eating.

I know, right? Genius.

Happy Father’s Day, Pop! (Does this post win me any bonus points?)

He still has his hair. And I can easily get more barrettes…

What stories about your dad make you laugh?

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355 responses to “My Dad Saved My Life. And Then We Went to Burger King.

  1. One time we were playing softball. My Dad was pitching and I was at bat. I hit the ball, only to have it going sailing a few inches below his family jewels, right between his legs. I swear he breathed a sigh of relief.

    • Ha! Whew! That’s definitely a relief! My brother still won’t let me forget the time my childhood best friend wailed him where the sun don’t shine – and that was over 20 years ago!

  2. That was very cute, witty, and fun! A very sweet homage to your father!

    One time my dad got a good deal on some socks or something, and was overly excited and told me. Not interested, I replied sacastically, “WOW! Only in America are such great things possible!” And he replied enthusiastically, “No I’m serious, and I didn’t even have to steal anything!”
    Awe, memories…

  3. Awesome and worth at least two whoppers on your cheat day. Hope your dad gets to see it

  4. Hi! Came across your site while scanning through word press blogs. Really enjoyed reading the tribute to father’s day post. Its cool getting to know other people by way of blogs. Good information thanks and keep it up.

  5. I replied becoz i love the post and well yes coz i love my DAD:):)

  6. Lovely post … :) Dads are always a child’s super heroes also because the only man a girl could trust is her father!

  7. asweeterthing

    Awesome tribute to your dad, love the pics! We had the points system too but we had ours in dimes, whatever dimes you had when we got to vacation you got to spend in the candy store. Good times.

    • Thank you! You’re one of the only people to say they also had a points-like system – that is awesome! And you’re making me really curious about what kind of candy you’d spend your dimes on!

  8. Love the title and the tribute. I think you deserve bonus points.

    • Ha! Thanks so much, Christina! He got some really fly* cupcakes on Father’s Day, too, so I think I am just swimming in points ;)

      *it’s about time someone bring this word back

  9. My dad might be the funniest guy I know. Growing up, though, we all kinda caught his sense of humor and started to realize that a lot of his funny quips and jokes weren’t original, but taken from professional funnymen.
    So we devised a system to tell if we thought it was original or humor that had been ripped-off – we call it the 90/10. 90% of his material was stolen, 10% of his humor was original. When we thought some joke was awesome, it HAD to be a 90%er. If it was okay, we (usually correctly) called a 10%er.
    I love my dad and he was the rightful choice to be the best man at my wedding. Pretty rad guy, that guy is…

    • The 90/10! That’s fantastic! He sounds like a great guy – I figure if he was trying that hard to make his kids laugh, he was doin’ something (or a lot of somethings) right! Is your dad in on the joke (so to speak!)?

  10. Awesome post… This made me miss my dad more. :)

  11. Awww your dad sounds amazing. I mean, just look at that trucker hat! Are you on a leash in that picture? I imagine it must have been hard to restrain so much awesome. Also, you were such and adorable little girl!

    • ha ha My dad ROCKED the trucker hat and 70s/80s-style short shorts! I probably SHOULD have been on a leash in that picture – maybe I wouldn’t have fallen in the pool! LOL! “…to restrain so much awesome” – that really made me laugh out loud! Thank you :)

  12. Looks at these comments!! Go Jules GO!

    • LOL Nina, I totally can’t take credit for all of the comments – the WordPress overlords put this one on the home page last week! But, you know, I GUESS that’s okay with me… ;) Thank you!

  13. Hey – stumbled across your blog and was pleasantly surprised to see Bowcraft Amusement Park mentioned. I frequented Bowcraft, actually dropped a lot of quarters there on video games. I never got out of Jersey either. Check my blog at guypagano.wordpress.com. I wonder if we might know some of the same people.

  14. I’m a big fan of posts like this.
    I’m also a big fan of this ‘point system’.
    It also just so happens this exact situation happened to me, and my mother was the hero.
    Soulmates?

  15. Oh, my goodness, those pictures made me smile! I did the points system with my own daughters. Is your dad a teacher? ‘Cause that sounds like a teacher thing!

    • Thank you, Sprinkles! That is fantastic that you used points, too! My dad was a teacher, and he still works in the school system. Funny that I didn’t put two and two together.

      Well. I was never very good at math. ;) …Even though he was a math teacher. Ha!

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  20. Bouncing in the back of the car while driving full speed through a speedbumped road straight to McDonalds! (my mum was never there when we did this kinda thing. Curious…)

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