I thought glasses made you look smarter…
I’ve never really understood dumb blonde jokes.
Hey! Why are you laughing?
Okay, fine. There was that time I played a trivia game with friends and thought Interpol was only the name of a band, not the International Criminal Police Organization.
Oh, Julie? You’ve heard of it?
And that time I got Joshua Jackson’s autograph and told him how to spell Julie.
And that time I brought a baby shower gift to a wedding shower.
Who wouldn’t hire me?
And maybe something similar happened this week.
You might recall I recently started a new position at my company (Big Pharma, Inc.), developing training. I’m pretty sure my dog, Uncle Jesse, got me the job – he was part of the Sudoku lesson I had to put together during the intense interview process.
My new group is creative, fun and hilarious. I’m finally among colleagues who appreciate my memes!
This team of 13 celebrates everything. On my first day in the new office, it was No Diet Monday, and my manager brought cheesecake for breakfast. She decorated my new cubicle, too. “I think I’m gonna like it here,” I thought.
For the past two weeks, they’ve been trying to plan a surprise birthday party for two of the women in the group. A difficult task, since people work from home a lot.
The first Monday, I made cookies. The birthday girls didn’t show. This Monday, I made tortilla roll-ups, and one woman didn’t show.
“Well, as long as Laura comes in, we’ll still have the party,” everyone kept saying.
Later that morning, I popped my head next door to say hi to my cool, spirited cubicle neighbor. We’d only spoken a couple of times, but had bonded right away.
“Hi! Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?” she had blurted when she’d first shook my hand.
I had blinked back my surprise and laughed, dying to know where this conversation would go. She had had a point, eventually.
That Monday morning, I repeated the refrain of the day, “As long as Laura shows up, we’re still having the birthday party!”
She smiled and said, “Okay!” and we started talking about wine. Because of course.
At noon, we all hid in a nearby conference room and set up the food. In walked my cubicle neighbor, and everyone clapped and sang “Happy Birthday.”
I sang along merrily.
“Do you know what you said to me this morning?” the birthday girl asked loudly. I was sure she was going to regale the group with some amusing tidbit I’d dropped, letting all of my new coworkers see how charming and funny I could be, even unawares.
“No,” I replied, grinning.
“You said, ‘As long as Laura shows up, we’ll still have the party’! I thought you didn’t know who I was!”
Yes. That’s right. I told Laura we’d still have the party as long as Laura showed up. Then I sang “Happy Birthday” to Laura, forgetting I’d talked to Laura at all.
I distracted my colleagues with stories of Uncle Jesse and the beautiful chickens down the road. Later that day, Laura sent a thank you e-mail to everyone. I replied with this:
Dear Whoever You Are:
Uncle Jesse’s caretaker
Any embarrassing work stories to share? Blonde moments?