Category Archives: Giveaway Junkie

EPIC POST ALERT: This Year’s Custom JACK-o-Lantern Winner Is…

SQUEE! It’s time! It’s finally time!

For this year’s Custom Jack-o-Lantern Giveaway Contest, I asked you to describe a FrankenFood – some odd food combo that you invented or sampled. Your submissions were spooktacular. Thank you!

It was a friiiiightfully difficult choice, but the winner is:

Marta from Oh My, Marta!

Marta’s entry:

Marta-gravatarI so have this! I invented the best thing ever (still need to get in contact with someone about marketing this) when I was perhaps not low but ____. What you do is take two nacho cheese Doritos, the crumbs are the best for this, and then take a somewhat stale (staleness dependent on preference) chocolate raisin and sandwich it in between the Doritos. Pop it in your mouth and experience heaven. Seriously.

I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could it possibly be good? I liked Raisinets, and I loved Doritos, but together?

Photo credit: http://1funny.com

Photo credit: http://1funny.com

I had to know. I called for reinforcements:

Has there ever been a more polarizing FrankenFood? The overall verdict: WIN! You are my hero, Marta. But I already knew you had impeccable taste, given our shared love of Leonardo DiCaprio.Titanic-pumpkin-gourdThus, I present your prize – a custom jack-o-lantern:

STEP 1: DESIGN OVERLY AMBITIOUS PATTERN

Titanic-Pumpkin-1

STEP 2: RIP GUTS OUT OF PERFECT PUMPKIN

Titanic-Pumpkin-2

Step 3: Tape Design On Pumpkin While Palms Begin to Sweat

Titanic-Pumpkin-3

Step 4: transfer design And question everythingTitanic-Pumpkin-4

Step 5: Tell Yourself, “There’s No Turning Back Now” over and over while shoving Raisinitos in your face

Titanic-Pumpkin-5

Step 6: Begin to Realize Self-Worth

Titanic-Pumpkin-6

Step 7: Marvel

Titanic-Pumpkin-7

Congratulations, Marta! (And seriously. Get on this Raisinito thing, pronto.)

Oodles of thanks to She’s A Maineiac, Rachel’s Table, Accidental Stepmom, Cal-Hockley-titanic-3032768-720-540PEPPERMEISTER!, my family, and Magical Neighbor Jeff for your bravery. You are my double rainbow, the wind beneath my wings, the helpless little girl to my Cal Hockley.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

About these ads

Win A Custom Jack-o-Lantern from Go Jules Go!

Halloween-GoJulesGo

Yes. Yes. Yesyesyesyesyesyes!

It’s my favorite time of [the bloggy calendar] year! Time for…

The World’s Most Amazing Halloween Contest*

*according to me

The rules are always a little different, but the prize remains the same: A custom jack-o-lantern, designed and carved by yours truly. I base the design on you/your entry, and am so excited to see what this year will bring.

2011 Winner: Deb from The Monster in Your Closet

PumpkinPrep5_Deb

Pumpkin3_Deb

2012 Winner: Misty from Misty’s Laws

Pumpkin-GoJulesGo-2012-5

Pumpkin-GoJulesGo-2012-7

Jack-o-Lantern-GoJulesGo-Halloween-2012

The Rules

I mentioned in my last post that I made a spicy pepper-infused apple pie. Today you can find out it if it sank or swam on my hub, Peppermeister’s, blog.

Sometimes Frankensteining (eh? Get it?) a recipe together goes awry, other times it blows your mind.

To enter the contest, simply tell me about an unusual food or drink combo you’ve invented or sampled. You can a) leave it in the comments section below, b) blog about it and link back to this post (note: this contest is open to everyone – not just bloggers!), or c) email me: Julie.Davidoski@yahoo.com.

I’ll pick a winner based on insanity originality – it doesn’t matter if the recipe fails or flourishes, just that you gave it the old college try.

The Prize

A custom jack-o-lantern designed and carved by Go Jules Go.

Like this, only, you know, for you, instead of my dog, Uncle Jesse, (this is him cheating while playing Uno).

Like this, only, you know, for you. (This is my dog, Uncle Jesse, playing Uno, obviously.)

Oh and Uncle Jesse says there might be an autographed picture in your future.

He doesn't do this for just anyone, you know.

He doesn’t do this for just anyone, you know.

The Deadline

Monday, October 28th, midnight EST. Winner announced at 7am EST on Halloween, October 31st.

Happy Frankensteining!

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GIVEAWAY WINNER: My New Codependent Friend!

Ahhh. I love settling into writing a post with a crisp, cool, Super Gulp-sized glass of vodka.

Dependency? Moi?

Dependency? Moi?

And hey, as long as we’re on the topic… Let’s talk about my latest blog giveaway contest! To celebrate Independence Day, I asked you to describe the person or thing you were unreasonably attached to – your codependent. One lucky entrant would receive this:

artists-way-giveaway

Boy. Your entries were stellar; I could scarcely pick a favorite angry cat meme. Nevertheless, the time has come to announce the sole winner. And that is…

Anna Lea West from Life Is Funny (Even When it’s Not)!

Anna-Lea-West-gravatarNow is as good of time as any to unload something. I like to drink pickle juice. No, not a quick sip, but LONG pulls once the pickles are gone. No one needs to witness this. The spicier the better. Sooo, I’m hooked on McClure’s Spicy Bloody Mary mix because it’s sort of like drinking spicy pickle juice … with vodka. I am not always good at life. This stuff is insanity and makes me, but for a brief moment, forget my deplorable Cherry Chapstick addiction.

Obviously, we’re a codependent match made in heaven.

See? Sometimes I actually know what I'm talking about. When that something is booze.

Bet you feel pretty pickled after a couple of these! Oh!

Had I planned ahead (Project Management Professional, at your service), I would’ve made this a recipe post.

This could work. This could totally work.

This could work. This could totally work.

Congratulations, Anna! I’ll be in touch via email to award your prize!

Have any summer cocktail recipes to share?

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GIVEAWAY: Won’t You Be My Codependent Independence Day Friend?

Oh blogging.

How I love you.

Even when your cursor blinks blankly and your Stats page laughs in my face, I come crawling back for more.

Yes. You, much like sweet, sweet, blog giveaway swag, always manage to turn my frowns upside-down.

Speaking of! I’ve been saving a couple of giveaway items for a rainy day, and, well:

I think this qualifies.

I think this qualifies.

So let’s get down to it, shall we?

The Prize

artists-way-giveaway

Clearly I have no use for this book. Thanks, New Jersey weather.

1) Finding Water (part of one of my favorite series, The Artist’s Way) by Julia Cameron.

2) Amazing Fred pens, clever enough to trick anyone into thinking you frequent places like Verdant Fields Nudist Camp or Stuffed With Love Taxidermy.

The Rules

Simply leave a comment describing your unreasonable attachment to any person, pet, place or object. Who or what controls you? That’s right. This Independence Day, we’re celebrating codependency! As usual, I’ll oh-so-subjectively pick a winner based on humor and originality.

If you have any trouble leaving a comment below, feel free to email me: Julie.Davidoski@yahoo.com.

The Deadline

Monday, July 8, 2013, midnight EST. Winner announced Thursday, July 11, 2013, 6am EST.

Can’t wait to read your entries, Chipmunks! Now if you’ll excuse me. Vodka dependency calls.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If This Were My Last Blog Post

Firelands by Piper Bayard***In celebration of my friend Piper Bayard‘s new book, FIRELANDS, she’s holding a pretty epic contest for both bloggers and readers (seriously – the prizes will blow your chipmunk stripes off). Check out the details here (deadline: July 19, 2013). Bloggers can enter by publishing apocalypse-themed posts. So, ah, hopefully it goes without saying, but: This is my submission.***

I recently watched a movie starring Steve Carell and Keira Knightley, called Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. In the opening scene, a polished, upbeat radio DJ announces:

Once again, if you are just tuning in… The final mission to save mankind has failed. The 10 mile-wide asteroid known commonly as Matilda is set to collide with Earth in exactly 3 week’s time.

The black screen fades to a close-up of Carell (“Dodge”) and his wife in their car, staring straight ahead.

And we’ll be bringing you up-to-the-minute coverage of our countdown to the end of days, along with all of your classic rock favorites.

Cue: The Beach Boys’ “Wouldn’t It Be Nice.”

Best.

Opening.

Ever.

I want my last blog post to be like this movie. Dark. Funny. Romantic. Complete with a dog named Sorry.

Sorry's got regrets. Oh yes, he does.

Sorry’s got regrets. Oh yes, he does.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is disturbingly realistic in so many ways. No cell phones. Traffic jams. Looting. $8.50 for a bottle of window cleaner.

Total lawlessness.

It begs the question: How would the world spend its last days? Would there be time for reflection? Regret? Time for anything but? Would there be time for new connections? They say live every day like it’s your last, but when it’s everyone’s last? What then?

What would I say to you, dear Chipmunks, if it was all about to go up in flames?

Jules-apocalypse

Yeah, okay, so what? My last blog post and I’m petty ’til the end. Sue me. Go ‘head. Try to find a lawyer right before armageddon. It’s honesty that gets you through those pearly gates, Chipmunks. Remember that.

Bloggers: What would your last post look like? Bloggers/All: What would you do the day before the apocalypse?

~*~*~*~*~*~

FIRELANDS

Available from Amazon in Paperback and on Kindle

Also in e-book at Barnes & Noble and Kobo,

and at iTunes for iPad and mobile devices.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Don’t Lick the Minivan” Giveaway Winner!

Last Sunday, Mother’s Day, I was toiling away at Babs’ house, helping her with a garage sale. She’d decided to use the day as an opportunity to enslave all three of her children.

Note Babs' halo. This will become relevant in a moment.

Note Babs’ halo. This will become relevant in a moment.

Aside from the joys of sweating and haggling spending time with my darling mother, I got to giggle at your incoming comment submissions for the “Don’t Lick the Minivan” book giveaway.

Dont-Lick-the-Minivan

I asked you to share a favorite ‘Mom quote’ – either something you’ve said as a mother that you never thought you would, or something your own mother said that you never forgot. Most of you chose the latter. They were all spectacular. Thank you!

Before I announce the winner, though, I thought I’d tell you about my favorite Mom bomb…

Growing up, my parents enjoyed their evening cocktails…

…but Babs always likened drugs and smoking to the worst kind of criminal act. I’d have been better off robbing a bank than sneaking a cigarette.

“I never did drugs,” she told us, time and time again, as we watched our favorite childhood stars get busted for their evil indulgences. “And smoking is the most foul, disgusting habit in the world. Your breath smells and your teeth rot and if you ever take up smoking, well…” She couldn’t even finish that sentence.

Years passed and her three children grew up. What went on behind Pearl Jam poster-covered dorm room doors was a mystery, as far as Babs was concerned.

In my early 20s, thinking maybe the playing field had leveled, I decided to probe.

“So you’re telling me you grew up in the 60s, and you NEVER smoked pot?”

I was sure I knew what was coming. Sweet, innocent Babs paused and then said,

“Oh. Well. Pot’s not a drug.”

I knew it, Babs. I always knew it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And the winner of “Don’t Lick the Minivan” is…

Hiddeninsight from Persuaded2Go!

Hiddeninsight’s entry:

I was taking my friend’s 6-year old son out for a walk a few weeks ago to give her a break (leaving her with the other three…shall I explain why? I think not.)

This is our conversation within the first two minutes.

He pulls a tiny grey stick sword out of his pocket and “lights it” with a red piece of lego. “I don’t normally smoke in front of people…” he says, exhaling long and slow.

Because I’m way cooler than him, I replied. “Oh. I see. Wait a minute…I’m a person!”

He thinks. He inhales another drag on the tiny sword and says, “No you’re not, you’re a woman!”

And that. right. there. is why he quit smoking his toys…giving up the habit in record time.

Happy Mother’s Day (if you’re a real person, that is!)

Congratulations, Hiddeninsight! You slayed me with this one. I’ll be in touch via email!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mother’s Day is NOT an Excuse for Licking Minivans (GIVEAWAY!)

Babs-I-love-Mom***DISCLAIMER: As with most Go Jules Go giveaways, this one is sponsored by yours truly. All opinions expressed belong to Numero Uno.***

Happy Mother’s Day, Childbearing Chipmunks!

I know I just wrote about how much I prefer dogs to kids, but I’m glad not everyone feels that way.

Babs Sheet Go Jules Go

Like Babs.

Last Mother’s Day, I went the epic haiku route, which as we all know, is impossible to top.

Or is it? (In one case, yes.)

Don't do it, Jules...

Don’t do it, Jules…

One of my favorite moms, Leanne Shirtliffe of Ironic Mom.com, has a NEW BOOK out this month! An actual book! She’s living the bloggy dream! Even The Bloggess is touting it, unsurprisingly, as “awesome.”

But… but…

Like any wise parent, Leanne knows the best reason for having kids is the writing material. Don’t Lick the Minivan (and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kidsfeatures uproarious tales from Leanne’s wild and wacky twin-filled world. I’m particularly excited to read about the birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.

She really used a bowl. I swear.

She really used a bowl. I swear.

While Babs never gave me any skin rashes, she did subject all three of her children to the infamous bowl haircut. And in a stroke of cruel genius, this year, she decided to have a garage sale on Mother’s Day, thereby guaranteeing slave labor during one of the hottest, muggiest Mother’s Day weekends on record.

So while my brother, sister and I are haggling, sweating and hopefully drinking from cleverly disguised water bottle-flasks, I thought I’d reward you fine folks with a giveaway! At least one of us should have some fun today.

GIVEAWAY

Dont-Lick-the-Minivan

One (1) copy of Don’t Lick the Minivan (and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids) by Leanne Shirtliffe. Will be shipped on or after May 22, 2013.

RULES

Simply leave a comment below describing a favorite ‘mom quote’ moment – either something your mother said (or loves to say…repeatedly…), or something you’ve said as a mom that you never thought you would. (For more great ‘mom quote’ moments, head over to Ironic Mom!)

I’ll ever-so-subjectively pick a winner based on humor and originality.

DEADLINE

Sunday, May 19, 2013, 12pm NOON EST. Winner announced Monday, May 20, 2013, 7am EST.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pi Day Pie Challenge: Are You Ready For the Next Level?

Remember how much you love my Tollhouse pie, JM? *cough*

Remember how much you love my Tollhouse pie, JM? *cough*

My friend, JM Randolph, author of the spectacularly funny and engaging blog, Accidental Stepmom, is hosting a Pi Day Pie Challenge.

What the fudge is that, you ask?

In her early blogging days, JM had to make a ‘Pi Day Pie’ for her stepdaughter’s math class – they were celebrating March 14th (= 3.14) as Pi Day. Though JM claims to have half-assed it, this was the result:

Amazeballs.

Amazeballs.

This year, JM decided to host a contest where you can create your best Pi Day Pie, and the winner gets “Poopourri” (seeing smelling is believing)! But really, everyone’s a winner, because… pie.

There was obviously no way I wasn’t entering this contest.

I love pie. Me ‘n pie (pie and I?) go way back. I even talk about pie on my About page. I’m very proud of the fact that I make my own crust.

But this experience uncovered a dark secret. Something I’m hesitant to admit…

I f&*$#% hate making pie crust!

I hate it the way Michelle hates wrapping presents.

The way Speaker7 loves hates 50 Shades of Grey.

The way Thoughtsy hates unfrosted Pop-Tarts.

It starts with the stress of adding ice water. Not regular water. Ice water. One drop too little, your dough won’t stick together. One drop too much, you’ve got chewy, tough crust.

Pi Day Pie Water

Can you hear my heart pounding?

Then there’s cleaning the food processor. (Oh sure – you try making crust without a food processor. That’s what hell looks like: A stick of cold butter, flour and a fork.)

Ah, like scrubbing super glue with tears.

Ah, like scrubbing super glue with tears.

Then there’s making an even bigger mess rolling it out, which, half the time, ends in a piece of dough the shape of Texas.

Pray for me.

I’m not even kidding – that scar on my wrist is from making pie.

Nevertheless, I finally got my chocolate chip-walnut Tollhouse pie assembled, still not sure how I was going to decorate it.

Pi Day Pie oven

Just as I closed the oven door, inspiration hit.

Next. Level.

Next. Level.

And it was green lights and all rights from there on out.

Note my vain attempt to counterbalance this activity with a green smoothie.

Speaking of green, note my vain attempt to counterbalance this activity with a kale smoothie.

I've never done anything more fulfilling in my life.

I’ve never done anything more fulfilling in my life.

And the final product…

Pi Day Pie Final

Game. On.

Deadline: 11:59pm EST on March 13, 2013. Email your photos to JM or blog it up like me and link back to her source post!

Do you have any cooking / baking pet peeves?

It’s My Second Blogoversary!!!

You heard me.

Today is my 2-Year blogoversary!!!

Now enough with the words and the reading and stuff.

I love you, Chipmunks. Thanks for somehow making year #2 even more awesome than the last.

Bloggers: Do you have a favorite blogging moment (either here or on your own blog)? Bloggers / All: Anything you’d like to see more of on Go Jules Go in the next year?

To help us celebrate this most chipmunkiest of occasions, I’ll randomly choose one commenter to win a pair of ‘stache glasses!

Julia Maida Custom Art Giveaway Winner(s)!

Man, Chipmunks. You did my heart liver proud with your ‘drunk story’ entries, in the name of winning custom artwork from the lovely and talented Julie Maida.

My custom coasters by Julie Maida, a gift from http://rachels-table.com.

My custom coasters by Julie Maida, a gift from http://rachels-table.com.

I almost said I was too drunk to get this post up today.

But then I realized that was only funny to me. Especially because, thanks to you, this post wrote itself.

In fact, I’m a little mad at you, because I couldn’t even narrow it down to just one. So we’ve got a Winner and a Runner-up!

Thank you so much for keeping me in stitches this week, and please, keep yourself out of stitches (the other kind), you lushes. I love you.

Grand Prize Winner – $40 Julie Maida Custom Artwork

Peg-o-Leg Ramblings gravatarPeg-o-Leg’s Ramblings

Peg’s Entry:

This drunk person story has served as a cautionary tale for me for 25 years. I live in a small town where the social life for those of us in the business community revolves around fundraisers for local charities and civic organizations. It was at an after-hours for one such group (Rotary, Kiwanis, I can’t remember). The adult beverages were flowing and I noticed one woman, let’s call her Judy, had imbibed perhaps a bit too freely. She was attractively dressed in a shirt, short skirt, black pantyhose and boots.

Judy staggered into the bathroom and my attention was claimed elsewhere until she reappeared some time later. She came out of the ladies room crying, mascara running down her face. She sobbed, “somebody stole my skirt!”

Judy’s skirt was tucked up in the back of her pantyhose, leaving all the territory south of the waistband open to the interested view of the entire bar.

What lesson do we take away from this? When going out drinking, ALWAYS wear pants.

Runner-Up – $25 Julie Maida Custom Artwork

Fresh Veggies in the Desert gravatarFresh Veggies in the Desert / Gingerlea Photography

Fresh Veggies/Gingerlea emailed her entry to me (and yes, she has two blogs because she’s too much awesome for just one!):

If you have ever been to the French Quarter and understand the true depth of what it means to close down a bar in New Orleans, then you know what it feels like to plop down in the back of a cab and have a Cajun cabbie yell, “It’s twenty bucks EXTRA if she pukes!”

New Orleans is a great place to visit.   There’s food, fun and folly at every street corner.   Literally.    I had the displeasure of vacationing there with Ex-Husband #2.   Let’s just call him Rectal Payne.   He was a pretty fellow, so it was no shocker to have him lead me to one of the more spectacular gay bars in the city, only to have the bartender ask me what I was doing there.    I think this was a hint that they wanted me to leave, without Mr. Pretty.

Our adventures took us from the rainbow-covered bar to a horrible dump that was blasting karaoke.    It occurred to me that I remembered a terrible rendition of Melissa Etheridge song, and now realized that Rectal Payne simply took me from one gay bar to another. …I’m so naïve sometimes.

I believe this is the bar where I decided to take up smoking cigarettes.   If you have ever met me in sober life, you would know that I do not smoke.    I vaguely remember the bartender laughing at me while I was complaining about not being about to get that damn cigarette lit.     Apparently, I was struggling to light the filter.   Marlboro Woman, I am not.

"The hat is another story."

“The hat is another story.”

The miracle of drunkenness happened much later.    I woke up on the floor under a table.   It was a carpeted floor, so I was pretty sure that I wasn’t in a bar anymore.   And, it didn’t smell that bad.   That was almost reassuring.    I was snuggled up to the base of the small table and facing a wall.   This is where I had a reality check.    Or, more like a “panties on – check.”  No pants or shoes, though.   That can’t be good.   Where the hell was I?

I tried to stay still under the table, just in case.  I could hear the loud whirr of an air-conditioner, but no other background noises.   I closed my eyes.   I decided that I was already in enough trouble, and who knows what happened to Rectal Payne. Since I wasn’t having any pain of my own, I decided I would return to my passed out state and worry about it later.

Fortunately, I awoke from my drunken stupor facing the other direction and realized that I was hugging the side table of my hotel room.    Apparently, I had been unable to maintain a horizontal position on the much more comfortable mattress.   As the story goes, I slithered from between the bed and the wall to spoon with the side table.

My sigh of relief was quickly replaced by a very quick run to the bathroom to evacuate the dozen raw oysters we had decided to have for a midnight snack.    Oh.my.gawd—bad idea. An even worse idea was Rectal Payne leaving his toothbrush out on the counter.    Yup.   I committed the sin of befouling his toothbrush.   No worries.    I was then spectacularly distracted by a spontaneous ceiling collapse in the shower.

I was just standing there trying to gather my thoughts when all of the tiles in the shower of the downtown New Orleans Ramada Inn just fell off of the ceiling. Rectal Payne jumped out of bed and screamed like a drag queen missing his favorite high heels.

The staff at the Ramada was more than accommodating and quickly gave us another room.    We just called the front desk and they switched us.    It was like that happened all of the time?   I was in no condition to ask questions, so I just packed up and moved on to the new room.

I told Rectal Payne months later that I had done my best to clean that toothbrush, but he never forgave me.    I always thought that was why we ended in divorce.    Oysters on his toothbrush.    I’m thinking now that it might have had more to do with that gay bar. But, I am certain that oysters are not an aphrodisiac.

Oh, well.   I have moved and found a new drinking buddy.    We make our own beer and try to keep our cups upright.

Congratulations you two! Julie and I will be in touch via email so you can start discussing your artwork!

Thanks again, everyone, for sharing your stories with such gusto! I owe you a drink.