I’m not sure you’ll recognize that today is special, when we shower you with gourmet, organic treats, long walks and hour-long massages. Or when we coo over and over again, ‘He’s a good man. That’s a good man. Who’s the best man?’
Oh. Is this not an appropriate excuse to drink champagne?
But it’s true!
Today’s your 3rd birthday!
Birthday surprises from your BFF, Shunderson!
Already you’ve been with us for 2 years, 9 months and 28 days. Now’s not the time to talk of my guilt over your silver-spooned upbringing, but rather to praise your genetic superiority and extremely reputable entry into this world thanks to your mother’s tireless research and your father’s stubborn allergies.
We named you after John Stamos’ character on Full House because we knew you were destined to be the cool one. And have great hair.
Have mercy.
Here are just a few of the things we love about you, Uncle Jesse:
You fetch your Hot Pocket toy when we sing the jingle (“Ho-ot Pocket!”).
You dry your tongue on our pants after you take a drink.
You have access to your kibble all day, every day, and only eat it when we sit down to dinner; then you nosh lying down.
You help Dad tune the guitar when he gets to the 4th string, every time.
You learned how to do Full House-themed tricks at 9 1/2 weeks old.
(If people don’t believe the last two, they should play thE video!)
Please stop touching me.
If you disapprove of someone’s petting methods, you lick them aggressively to correct the faux paw pas. They mistake this for affection. I’m sorry we blew up your spot, but you do it to us, too, you ungrateful bastard well-bred specimen.
Hello, Ceiling Fan.
Your legs are super long and your paws are incredibly fancy, especially when you tuck them under, or cross them just so.
You’re convinced the bedroom ceiling fan is possessed and/or omnipotent. If it’s been too quiet for too long, or something is otherwise amiss, we catch you staring at it dubiously.
I hope you enjoy this birthday tribute video I made especially for you:
Uncle Jesse Birthday Tribute Extraordinaire
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Love,
Your doting and equally adorable mother
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So what do you get for the Australian Labradoodle who has everything? Well, you can make like a Shel Silverstein tree, and give. Please join me in helping friend and fellow blogger, Valerie from Nikitaland:
Note: The ad below the Pledge for Pets button is not part of this post.
Now enough with the words and the reading and stuff.
Second Blogoversary
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I love you, Chipmunks. Thanks for somehow making year #2 even more awesome than the last.
Bloggers: Do you have a favorite blogging moment (either here or on your own blog)? Bloggers / All: Anything you’d like to see more of on Go Jules Go in the next year?
To help us celebrate this most chipmunkiest of occasions, I’ll randomly choose one commenter to win a pair of ‘stache glasses!
This year, I wanted to kick things up a notch. But where do you go from Second Husband and my favorite holiday tune?
Cue First Husband, Peppermeister. You may recall he’s a musician, and the former guitarist for the awesome reggae band, Echo Movement. He agreed to perform a song for ya’ll, on one condition…
What can we say? Sometimes there are bloggy collaborations (Exhibit A and Exhibit B) too magical to let go not to exploit in the name of holiday fun.
And you’ve GOTTA check out The Byronic Man’s corresponding video blog! Especially because he actually knows what he’s doing when it comes to vlogging. Isn’t he the cat’s pajamas sheet set?
The Rules
Make a card depicting what the holidays really mean to you. You know, the…less-than-pleasant moments or traditions that signal ’tis the season. Maybe it’s hiding in the closet with peppermint schnapps, or your uncle’s drunken conspiracy theories. You tell us.
Use any format you please: a picture, a video, a blog post or drawing. We’ll even consider especially descriptive comments. If you do a blog post, we’ll Tweet it and/or link back on our blogs.
What I’m trying to say is: If your card makes people uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track.
I started this blog in February 2011, but wanted to wait for a special occasion to share some of my favorite Google search engine terms. I’m talking about those unusual things you people type into Google late at night and think you’re stealth.
If that search led you to GoJulesGo.com, I know alllll about it.
I believe you were looking for this.
Consider yourselves busted, you sweet, sick, twisted li’l Chipmunks.
Keep up the good work. I live for this shiz.
Do you have any search engine/internet stories? (PG-13, mmmkay? My neighbors read this blog.)
P.S. – I promise to stop putting up posts now. Until next week.
Renée, please consider this your open invitation to guest post on my blog any time; I know the below submission is only the tip of your guilty pleasure iceberg.
Renée’s Entry:
Okay, you know I love to break into dance. But that’s the small stuff. Another guilty pleasure?
*whispering*
I sometimes sunbathe topless in my backyard.
And there is a middle school in my backyard.
True. You cannot make this stuff up.
If you’re feeling a little sore from Renée’s victory, perhaps this picture will help.
Zeal has never been happier.
After Renée submitted her scintillating entry, I tried to Google Earth her house*. Here’s what came up:
Can you tell which house is Renée's?
That’s right, Renée, all of this is YOURS! ALL YOURS!
*If you’re feeling stalky after seeing that bikini pic, please don’t waste your time haunting the above neighborhood. That isn’t where Renée lives. And duh. Just email me for her address.
My guilty pleasure might surprise you. There’s nothing I like more than spending a quiet evening playing my favorite game: Go Guilty Pleasures, the home edition.
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First I obsessively click on your blog. If I’ve left a comment, I see if you’ve responded to my comment. Then I go click on the Recommended Humor Blogs WordPress page to see if I’m still on there. Then back to your blog to see if anyone has responded either to my original comment or your response to my comment. Back to the Humor page to see if anybody else I know is cycling through the list more often than me. Back to your blog. I leave a follow-up comment if necessary. Then I rate all the other comments and compare their cleverness-quotient to my comment. If anyone else’s score even approaches mine, I spend some time worrying about that. Finish up with just one, teensy-weensy peek back at the Humor page (with my stopwatch to catalogue relative hang-times.)
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Next comes the best part of the game. I BECOME you. I put on the Side Pony of Super Fun-ness. I put my custom-crafted Uncle Jesse mask on my cat, Beeby (this part isn’t as easy as it might sound). I line up some champagne (actually Asti – I’m on a budget) and break out the bacon candy bars and Reeses for snacking. I use mice instead of chipmunks as my life coaches because they’re a lot easier to catch around my house. That may be why they don’t really give me any advice, no matter how many times I ask. But I pretend they do while I make funny, fun faces. I get lots and lots of guilty pleasure from taking lots and lots of pictures of myself being blondly side-ponied and fun. A lot.
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Yup, for my family, there’s no more relaxing way to spend the evening than playing Go Guilty Pleasures. As my hubby said to me just the other night, “Why do you keep calling me Peppermeister? Who the hell is that??”
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Happy Birthday to us!!
I told Peg I was jealous of her side-pony, because it's longer than mine, and probably curls like a dream.
I voted at that link you posted, posted to facebook (i’m not sure how i will prove this with my security settings) and my blog. I have twitter but don’t use it (that’s a story for another time if you get bored) and i got the tattoo and performed the ritual sacrifice.
I emailed you this pic but incase it comes down to bloggers voting in the contest, here is the link (see below for picture).
Now for the guilty pleasures:
I sing to my cat Alex every day when i come home. I even sing as alex sometimes. I am not a good singer so he’s probably embarrassed.
Speaking of bad singing i also am a big harry potter nerd and i used to be a part of an online Hogwarts website where you took classes and met other nerds. You would think that would be a guilty enough pleasure right there as it’s terribly embarrassing but i used to compete in a yearly singing contest there called HOL idol and i would actually record myself singing and enter the contest. 0________0 SO EMBARRASSING. I wrote bad fanfic too.
As perfect as a guilty pleasure can get. Did you see the tattoo on her hand??
I eat entire pints of coffee Haagen Dazs in the car as I drive alone in the car. No spoon. No napkin. By the time I’m finished, both the steering wheel and I are covered with ice cream. Yum.
I mean I...I just never thought...my range as a, a...guilty pleasure blogger....one who writes solely about guilty pleasures...I mean, well, I...thank you.
A year into this blog, and I find I’m older, wiser simpler, and just a little closer to embracing my inner chipmunk.
You fetch your Hot Pocket toy when we sing the jingle (“Ho-ot Pocket!”).
and only eat it when we sit down to dinner; then you nosh lying down.
