Recently, I may have suggested my dad was only one of the great things to come out of Long Island. The truth is, not a lot of people can do the things my dad does. Like, he can read in the car without getting sick. And he makes really good steak. Not at the same time; don’t be ridiculous.
Oh and when I was 2, I was way ahead of my time and awesome I saw a swimming pool and was like, “Deep end, here I COME!” Bam, I jumped in to join my older brother and sister, and my chubby bum sunk straight to the bottom. Without a second thought, my dad lept in to save me, breaking his glasses along the way.
I think that’s why we get along so well. I could have been all, “Well, you brought me into this world, it’s your job to keep me here,” but instead I was like, “Thanks for that, Pop. One day I’ll join the swim team and make you proud stay afloat.”
As if that wasn’t enough, he used to take me on father-daughter trips to Bowcraft, this tiny, creepy amusement park next to a highway, and then across the street to Burger King. Those were the days, back when trans fat was what was for dinner, and winning enough tickets to get chinese finger cuffs was all you needed.
My dad is also a genius. I mean, yeah, okay, the real kind with a doctorate and Ivy League-y things, but whatever. I mean the practical kind of genius. Street smarts. Case in point: We used to go on long road trips in a small car, with all three kids crammed in the backseat. It was a recipe for disaster. So he came up with something called the Points System. We earned points for being good, and got them taken away when we were bad.
If we didn’t have enough points by the time we got to Burger King, we weren’t eating.
I know, right? Genius.
Happy Father’s Day, Pop! (Does this post win me any bonus points?)
What stories about your dad make you laugh?
Go Jules Go 
When I was little I was obsessed with the film ‘The snowman’ (You know the sad cartoony one with ‘Walking in the air’ song). Anyhoo, I knew from then on that all snowmen were alive and went to parties every night… Despite having very little snow in the UK, whenever we did, we would always make a snowman. And every night my Dad would go outside and heave this pile of snow/ice and move it to different locations, so my sister and I thought it had been flying about each night. How totally awesome is that?!!
Katie, that is SO cute! I think it’s officially impossible to top that level of cuteness (unless chipmunks are involved, ‘o course).
Oh yes, but of course, they rule… And My Dad was a pretty awesome dude!….. Re: chipmunks: When I was little my sister and used to sing really slowly into the computer microphone and then speed it up to sound like “the chipmunks”… 😀
Ha! Kate, we were totally destined to find each other.
We need to find some helium, a camcorder and chipmunk outfits NOW!
My dad is dead and he wasn’t very good with children anyway, less so now since we cremated him, took his ashes and scattered them in the north sea on the Essex coast where he grew up. I’d like to think he’s looking down on me and totally jealous that I get on really well with my kids, actually tell them I love them, give them hugs and spend time with them. The one thing I did learned from my dad is that being a good father isn’t just about making money and paying for stuff; well I learnt that from my kids really, but dad was a good model of how not to do the fathering thing. I would wish him a happy father’s day but he didn’t go in for that kind of thing and tended to bin our cards and shrug off our good wishes. Anyway I’ll be spending father’s day doing an all day impression of Al Pacino, drawn from a scent of a woman, the which impression my kids love and it has the bonus of driving my wife crazy, which the kids also love!
Rich, I’m really sorry to hear that! I always think it’s admirable when a person can turn their parents’ mistakes into a positive thing, though. (I think a LOT of people get stuck in the blame game.) Your children are so lucky to have you!
You know Rich. I have a similar problem. My father thiks that if he earns money he is the greatest father. That’s not true. I can’t talk with him. Every time when I try to do this it ends with an argument. Sometimes I want to talk with him like son and father. You know. I need it. When I was a little boy he was better for me. Not perfect. Just better than now. Money isn’t everything. There are feelings that are much more important.
Sorry for my english. I’m still learning ;p
Jeez Richard! Tough act to follow! I was just going to say that saving lives and taking kids to Burger King is just a typical day in the life of a Dad. we’re superhuman in that regard, and yet entirely approachable. If I had any hair, my kids could put berets in there, since I’m clean of pate, the(grand) kids use my head to draw on.
LOL 1point. Ya’ll are superheros! And your grandkids can DRAW on your head? Okay. YOU just upped the ante…
My dad kicks butt too. But if I wrote about him than my mother would expect me to write about her. Le sigh. And I just am not that evolved. But my dad is awesome. I should go write his his Father’s Day card. Now. 😉
I’m so glad to hear that he rocks (like you), Renee! And you made me laugh because last year I didn’t do these holiday posts, and this year I did one for Mother’s Day, so… 😉
Transfat…the fat of yesteryear. I remember it well.
I’m glad your dad saved your life so you could grow up to blog (and also so you could be, well, alive and all).
It’s still the silent killer I think, Carly. (Or is that heart disease? Or is that one in the same? So many questions.) Beware. Especially if it tastes good.
Can you imagine life without imaginary chipmunk life coaches?
Oh and thank you 😉
My father was a true Renaissance Man. I wish I had appreciated him more when I was a kid, but he was always reading. Later I realized it was to learn how to: repair cars, grow grapes, make wine, build our house, develop photos (way before digital cameras), make yeast donuts, fix any household appliance…Yeah, you get the idea. Superman on weekends/math teacher by day. I miss you, Daddy. Wish I’d let you teach me more than how to change a flat tire.
Yes he was, Babs! But yeah, I really wish you paid attention when he was making the wine… (I suppose your Sangria will do just fine, though!) 🙂
I think I missed out. My dad never let me do his hair. Or his nails. Dang it. Maybe he’ll let me do that this weekend to make up for it when I was younger.
I’m so implementing the point system on the next road trip. Thank your dad for me.
You totally did miss out, Thoughtsy. Fortunately, it’s not too late.
Please don’t tell Boo and Radley where you got the idea, LOL
My dad could wiggle his ears. This made me forgive him for smoking cigars in the car.
Ha! Cigars I’ll never understand, but pipes? They smell delicious!
Oh jules!!! The last picture speak volumes of pure evil 😛
She does look like she’s doing the evil MWAHAHA laugh, doesn’t she? Ahh, an evil mastermind in the making . . . it all started with barrettes.
and then she NEVER looked back 😛
You guys cracked me up with this comment thread. But man. I am SO transparent… 😉
Mwahahaha…if you could see me right now, I am twirling my mustache while petting a large, fluffy white cat.
I LOVE evil!!!! I found my long lost sister!! 😀
Love the last photo! He looks like he has a high tolerance for fun and games! I am so very glad that he fished out of the deep end of the pool! Whew!
Thanks, Susie! 🙂 My memory is poo, but I will ALWAYS remember putting those barrettes in his hair. It felt like I was getting away with MURDER!
My dad was always a big lovable goof. Still is, really. But get a couple beers in him? Look out! He is insanity personified. But in a really funny and good way. Unless you are a teenager, and easily embarassed by your silly father’s antics. Which I was, once upon a time.
One time we were on vacation and everyone was drinking. We came back to the apartment we were renting and my dad decided he would come in just a bit later, and that he would make an entrance. So he pretended to stumble across the threshhold, propel his body in the air, then do a full somersault across the floor, and then stand up with a “tada” flourish. I was mortified! How embarassing for a poor maligned teenager!! Now I just remember it fondly and think that he is just a huge goofball. 🙂
LOL! I see where you get your sense of humor, Misty! That is so awesome. If I had kids it would be for the stories (which I know I’ve said before) and the opportunities to embarrass them 😉
I love your blog. It makes me smile every day.
My dad used to have joke night once a week and we were all required to tell a joke at the dinner table. The best part was how my brother would laugh so hard he would stop making sounds and just his body would shake. I miss those great times.
Cate, this comment really made my day – thank you! 🙂
I LOVE the joke night idea, and picturing your brother is making me grin from ear to ear!
you running as a kid is so cute! I cannot believe you jumped straight into the deep end. definitely must have trusted if things didn’t work out, he was there to take care of it.
my dad was a very proud sports coach for me – some good memories there 🙂
I’m glad you’ve got happy memories, too! 🙂 What I can’t believe is that I [allegedly] never suffered any sort of post-traumatic stress as a result of my actions, LOL I LIVED in the water my whole childhood!
Freshly Pressed again! SO JEALOUS! Maybe you and your dad can go out for trans fat dinner tonight to celebrate the FP victory (and okay, Father’s Day as well). 🙂 Congratulations!
Dana, I really almost fell out of my chair when I found out this was Freshly Pressed! Those WordPress overlords really know how to make a girl’s day, LOL
There will be LOTS of burgers on Father’s Day, and I think I need to make sure there are some crowns, too…
Thanks SO much! 🙂
I have been past creepy Bowcraft but could never stop there- I have children for crying out loud.
I suppose it would be worse if I went there without bringing the kids.
*snort* You’re a good mother, Renee. Stay far, far away! Probably best to avoid Burger King, too, actually… 😉
So glad you got one of the good dads. Mine – eh…not so much. So I am always thrilled when people share they happy daddy/daughter stories because it sort of restores my faith a little. I’m also very glad he saved you.
That points system is pure genius. I’m afraid we would have never been able to eat on the road – my boys wouldn’t leave their hands to themselves.
Dammit, you know I meant “their happy daddy/daughter stories”, right?
haha, Katy, I didn’t even notice the typo! It always amazes me when I meet fabulous people whose parents turn out to be…less than faboo. To me it means the person is doubly (totally a word) fabulous, because they became that way DESPITE less-than-ideal parenting.
You got from this that you’re doubly faboo, right?
Yeah…sometimes its a tough pill to swallow knowing that my dad WAS right all these years. I just talked to him today on the phone, as a matter of fact. Lots of laughter…
We had our differences (who doesn’t?), but I always looked up to him. Well, there was a tad bit of fear, too. But it was mostly respect. I realize now as an adult it’s because he was ALWAYS there for me. Even when I didn’t expect him to be. Dad’s have a funny way of doing that.
Great tribute to Pops before the weekend. Thanks for sharing!!
Thank YOU for sharing! I think parents who can instill fear and respect into their kids are REALLY onto something! Ha! Too many parents think their kids are infallible. I’m so glad you had a good phone call with your dad, and I hope he has a WONDERFUL Father’s Day! 🙂
So sweet! I love it 🙂
Thank you so much, Nikki! 🙂
Nice post! I am actually going to write a blog about my Dad too for Fathers’ Day and how I used to make him tell me “real” stories when he was tucking me into bed, like about the time he crashed my grandma’s car!
Hi Betty! So glad to hear you’re writing about dad for Father’s Day! It sounds like you have some GREAT stories 🙂
I have a million stories — I love my dad. He is a piece of work, but aren’t we all?
When I was in high school, he didn’t like the pants I was wearing and told me they were too tight. When I gave him attitude he said “fine, if you want to wear those to the football game, I will come in my red speedo and walk up and down the crowd.” I walked in my room took off those red pants and put on some more loose fitting jeans. The “red pants story” lives in infamy and I just knew my dad was crazy enough to do it!
Ha! Jill, your dad sounds amazing. I have to admit, I kind of wish you were a little more stubborn…I absolutely believe he would have done it! 🙂
Do they still make barretts? Haven’t thought about that word in years.
My Dad pasted a few years ago and it’s high time I start boasting that he was the greatest Dad ever! Thanks for the great post…..so many memories of my dad just flooded into my head.
My dad was a National Ski Patrol volunteer and worked for the Red Cross when I was growing up so I was basically born on skis yet safety was not the on the forefront for some reason. I was about 4 and not quite big enough for my own skis so when he was out on patrol he would stand me up on the back of his skis and say “Hold on” yep no safety helmut – nothin'[this sh*t just wouldn’t fly these days yet all I remember of these times was giggling’, laughing, getting suddenly frightened then laughing again all the way down the jeep trail until we reached the ski lift.
Awwww to do it all again with my Dad.
Thanks Julie and thanks for sharing!
Cheers
SueAnn
Hi SueAnn! I’m so glad you have such fond memories of your dad. He sounds exceptional! This really made me smile. Thank you! 🙂
my dad saved my from a swimming pool too when i was little 🙂 although it was only after my mum (accidentally) knocked me in
ha ha! Do you think they have ‘Fly By Lifeguard’ in the Dad Manual? And geesh, if that’s the case, I wonder what your mom’s manual said… maybe she was just trying to make your dad look good. 😉
He can read in the car without getting sick. ? Now that one reason is enough to agree that your father is way too cool 🙂 Great post 🙂
haha Right?! It’s such a handy skill! I can read on the train, but that’s it! Thank you so much 🙂
You must’ve been raised by some kind of superhuman amazing parents when comparing this to the story of your mom saving you all from dying on the way to Pier One Imports. Oh, Jules, you know how I soak these kinds of nostalgic stories up like melted cheese on a piece of Wonder Bread. This was a splendid, slice of life tribute.
FRESHLY PRESSED SISTERS ARE WE! I think we ruled the WordPress school this week, oh yes we did.
PS My dad saved me from drowning in a lake. Truth be known, when I went under, he was sitting in a lawn chair paying no attention to me. I think I deserved a trip to Burger King for that.
HA! Angie, your memory really is sick. In the good way. I’m so glad you’re in school with me, ruling it.
And your dad owes you a trip to see the King, big time. I hope your hub has a Happy Father’s Day tomorrow, too! 🙂
In case you didn’t know, you’re freshly pressed. 🙂 You and Angie ROCK!
Rache! Thank you for the tip off! I friggin’ fell outta my chair when I saw this on Thursday! YOU rock, my friend 🙂
Loved the post! I woke up in the middle of the night and said to my husband, “I had a Burger King experience with my dad, too, just like Jules.” I swear I said this. My dad and I rode our bikes the three miles or so to the Burger King near our house a couple of times. Good memories of biking past smelly cows and feeling like I was going to get hit by a car on narrow roads. 🙂 Dads are the best!
Thank you so much! And you know I can relate, because I was talking to Angie Z (Childhood Relived) in my sleep the other night, LOL!
Your dad was genius, too – making you exercise before getting the fast food, ha! 😉
I like your style, could read you all day.
Thank you so much, Alisa! That really makes my day to hear 🙂
Again? Can you put in a good word for me? Congrats!
LOL FWH! (See, I’m getting better with the name!)
I am consulting some folks on how to make the proper ritual sacrifice to the WordPress overlords, and I’ll add a picture of your blog header to the brew… 😉
Thank you!
JULES IS FRESH PRESSED! FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Now I’m going to go read the story. Happy Father’s Day, Jules Dad!
Thank you so much, Linda! So exciting!! 🙂
All of these are the best stories! Thanks everybody! My dad was a mailman. He would pick me up in his mail truck when I was sick at school. He delivered to the wealthy section of our town and didn’t hesitate to dole out landscaping advice. He also carried a box of dog biscuits, and the dogs on the route would wait for him (pity the substitute without the box!). He also chased down a criminal in his mail jeep, and was very nonchalant about the whole affair afterward. Awesome guy.
Ha! Oh man. He sounds awesome. That must’ve been so much fun as a kid, getting to ride with him in the mail truck! My dad would NEVER take me to work with him for father-daughter work day… (Probably even more of a genius than I give him credit for, come to think of it… LOL)
Lovely!!!! So great reading this!!! My dad is also a genius, btw! haha
🙂
Thank you so much! Cheers to genius dads this Father’s Day! 🙂
What in the blue blazes?? You are FP!!!! WOWZA! I am thrilled for you, Jules! I did a running-man dance for Angie so now I have to break out my moonwalk for you!! This is all too much this week to handle. Congrats to you!
This post was perfect, your dad sounds like quite the man. And those pics of you are beyond adorable. Tell him Happy Father’s Day!
Thank you so much, Darla! My gosh. I did not know you had such dancing skillz! What can’t you do?! And now GG and Susie are up there – it is just too cool!
Thank you so much. I hope your hub has a WONDERFUL Father’s Day! 🙂
Here I was thinking you were raised by really funny unicorns with side ponies. Your dad sounds just about as spectacular 🙂
Ha! Wow. That might be the coolest compliment I’ve ever gotten. Especially from the likes of one of my favorite writers! Thanks, Tori! 🙂
Nice
What a beautiful story. What a great dad. 🙂
Thank you so much, Barry! Your user name is GREAT, by the way 🙂
Ah shucks. Just think if he had been a modern dad?
😉
Great post!
Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
Wayne
Sounds like a great dad. I think we have some old pictures of my father in law wearing exactly the same outfit. Those 70’s shorts! Congratulations for being freshly pressed, and i hope your dad has a great father’s day.
I know! The shorts! I can’t believe I blocked them out. He was wearing the same kind in EVERY picture I went through! LOL!
Thank you so much 🙂
THRILLED that you were FP’d…totally dug this post!! THANK YOU!! Brilliant writing!! 🙂
Thank you SO much! As if I NEEDED an excuse to go buy more cheap champagne… 😉
Right?! I mean… WRITE!! ;-p
The time my Dad took me to run an errand somewhere that didn’t require him to wear shoes. We ran out of gas on an LA freeway about a half-mile from our exit. My poor dad had to walk barefoot, holding the hand of his 8-year old daughter, toward the exit (and gas) in summer. A nice passer-by took pity on us but I always giggle about it. My dad probably doesn’t remember it as funny…
Oh man, you’re kidding! That is wild. I’m glad you lived to tell the tale! And I hope your dad has a fabulous Father’s Day with cars all gassed up and in working order 😉 Thanks so much for sharing this hilarious story!
Jules, you and Byronic got FP at the same time? Whoo hoo! How fab-u-LOS-o! Except you knocked Angie’s Father’s Day post off. Too weird and wonderful. Maybe WP is finally getting around to letting the Reese’s Ring stage that coup.
How AWESOME was that, Peg?! (Well, not the knocking Angie off part, LOL) I was shocked when this post got FP’d! And now GG and Susie are up there! Sooo cool. And maybe you’re RIGHT…ooooh…
My daughter saw a movie with kids selling hot chocolate. So, she insisted to start her own hot chocolate stand in the front yard. I helped her make the hot chocolate and get things ready. As we did, my husband went down the street giving dollars to neighborhood kids so they could buy hot chocolate form her. Of course, he didn’t tell me until later, and we never told out daughter. She sold out of hot chocolate quickly and was so happy she made some money. A totally cute moment for a totally great Dad!
Okay, this is the cutest, sweetest story EVER. I absolutely love it. What a great guy! I hope he has a wonderful Father’s Day tomorrow, and thank you so much for reading and sharing 🙂
I love reading this. It made me smile. And yes, your dad is awesome.
Thank you so much, Jonathan! This COMMENT makes me smile 🙂
Another great article! Great blog!
Cheers,
Courtney Hosny
http://www.oneweektocrazy.com
Hi again, Courtney! Thank you SO much 🙂
Holy chipmunks, Jules! Freshly Pressed again?!?!?! The chipmunks are taking over WordPress! If I wasn’t already committed to deep admiration, I would have to loathe you and your double-dipping ways. 😉 Congratulations on another fine and Freshly Pressed masterpiece! Your dad sounds like quite the guy. I’m so glad he valued you over his glasses!
ha ha Jess! Can you believe it?! “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!” Maybe it IS the chipmunks. I can totally see Zest and Zeal resorting to blackmailing the WordPress overlords…
Thank you so much! I should have probably tried to earn more allowance to help pay for new glasses, LOL
Your Dad didn’t need his glasses to see what was most important in this world. 🙂
I wonder what he thinks of that Burger King guy/mascot?……….creepy.
Aw, I think you’re so right! And I’ll have to ask him tomorrow what he thinks of the BK mascot, LOL That guy really is the stuff of nightmares…
Thanks so much for reading! 🙂
What a great dad story! Congrats on being FP’d.
Thank you so much – I really appreciate it!
A great month for FP’s. Loved this story, Jules! I just followed Byronic, so now you’re next. *plink* There you go. Bring it on. Please tell me this isn’t the end of guilty pleasures, ’cause I have many of them (that don’t end at Burger King). Tell your dad that that is one stinkin’ cute photo of him a the end. Brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you SO much, Shannon, and always good to see ya! I’m really excited so many of my favorite bloggers got Freshly Pressed this week!
You will NOT regret the decision re: Byronic Man. As for me…well…all I can promise is that I’d no sooner give up on my hopes of plural marriage (to “Glee” star, Darren Criss, a.k.a. Second Husband) than give up guilty pleasures 🙂
And I will be sure to pass that on to Pop when I see him tomorrow! Thank you again – I really do appreciate it!
And P.S. – You know there’s little I won’t do to get people to divulge their guiltiest pleasures, right? I mean, bribery is just the start.
Such a warm Father’s day post! Thanks!
Thank YOU!
This is a brilliant piece of writing. So succinct, the scenes so brief, yet absolutely full of nuance and meaning. You have an ability to craft a simple scene and take us all there with you and hit the richness of it in a sentence. Now, that’s great writing.
And, the picture of your dad sitting while you patiently do up his hair with all your barrettes is also brilliant – a visual metaphor for your writing. Please, do keep on, you have enormous talent. And I love the chipmunk enthusiast.
This is far and away one of the kindest comments I’ve ever gotten – THANK YOU. I often feel inferior to other writers because of my brevity, but my [admittedly half-baked] motto is, “If I can say it in less, why say more?”
I really can’t thank you enough – comments like this DO make me want to keep writing! 🙂
Great Post – thanks for sharing! I remember my dad taking me and my brother to a few dealerships on Saturdays for a hot dog and soda:) Congrats on being FP!
Thank you so much! I’m glad you have happy memories of your Pop, too! 🙂