New Jersey is breathtaking, PSAs

This Can’t Be Good.

This week has been filled with a delightful series of diversions. It’s amazing this post even ma–


What the…?

Is that my backyard?

I got home yesterday and someone had planted flowers. Lovely purple, orange and yellow, ah, daisies geraniums I-don’t-know-’ems, just to the side of my door.

I assumed it was the landlord, but even still, like any New Jersey native, my first instinct was suspicion.

I immediately texted a photo to Babs (my mom).

“Check the house. Is anything missing?” she replied in two seconds flat.

“Maybe he’s just trying to be nice?” My words sounded weak, even in writing.

“Did he use the flowers from your flower box?” she asked.

“No…” I answered.

“I hope they’re not flowers FOR YOUR GRAVE.”

“I hope I don’t come home tomorrow and they spell, ‘YOU’RE EVICTED.'”

It’s not that my landlord is a bad guy. No, no, no. He just, well, he seems to be of the more frugal variety, and in almost two years of renting, I haven’t seen any other display of Mother Nature’s bounty.

I’ll keep you posted. Random acts of kindness must not be trusted.

Have you had any surprises lately?

P.S. – Seriously, guys. What the hell kind of flowers are those?



40 thoughts on “This Can’t Be Good.”

  1. I worked at White Flower Farm for 10 years, although I was the controller not a horticulturist. I’d say black eyed susans (rudbeckia), the purple look like mums or asters, and the yellow-orange pinwheels look like gaillardia.

  2. Late last Sunday night (post-Fear the Walking Dead) I was getting ready for bed as I walked by closed-curtained but open window, I heard a very loud rustling in the greens outside. At first I thought it was likely the wind as it had turned a little blustery earlier in the evening. But then I reconsidered as the rustling sounded louder and heavier than just the wind. Perhaps an animal? That would make sense. But, of course, my mind was set on aliens and zombies. Window=closed!!

      1. Yes I can, actually. We now have bow hunters in our local park. I walk Duncan proclaiming loudly that I have their license numbers and will hunt them down if they shoot my dog. And I will …

  3. We have this thing going on in the next little town over, a town so tiny you blink as you drive through, where a kid mowing the grass at a vacant house found a bunch of disturbed ground. Turned out to be the body of the missing woman whose picture had been hanging in our office window for the previous 3 weeks. We still don’t know what happened.

    Have you considered digging around?

      1. Deal. And I’ll make sure all the mourners are similarly attired.

        I don’t mean to be the voice of doom; I’m just saying that where there is freshly turned dirt, there may be bodies.

  4. Other possibilities may include the landlord simply storing the flowers at your house, or, if these flowers are annuals, setting off a pretty timer on your eviction.

        1. I heard that Hillary is deathly allergic to black eyed susans (rudbeckia), mums or asters, and gaillardia. She is clearly unfit to lead this great nation.

          (Disclaimer: flower ID totally lifted from above comment from Nancy at notquiteold. The only growing plant I can ID with any certainty is poison ivy.)

  5. Your Mum is hilarious but then if you knew you were going and had time why not plant your own flowers for your grave? Love it

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