humor

Maybe that Raisin was Just Trying to Get to California?

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Have you ever stumbled upon a Facebook post and thought, “I’m going to need a lot more information”?

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This seems to happen to me a lot.

This is precisely what happened to me (again) two weeks ago when I read an alarming update from my friend, Robin. Rather than fill you in on the details, I thought I’d let the wonderful woman herself handle the job!

Let’s all give a warm welcome to Robin (and her four-year-old son, who plays a…surprising…role in this tale)!

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How does a day that started off normal end with a trip to the doctors, tweezers, and California Raisins?

Let’s start from the beginning…

Baby carrier in tow, I walk into my four year old’s classroom.  He is peeing in the toilet, door wide open, a content look on his face – you do you, buddy!  By the time I grab his bag, he has finished his business and I notice something on his ear.

In typical mom fashion, I lick my thumb and go to wipe his ear.

“Ow!” he winces.

Well, this can’t be good…  

I lean in and take a closer look.

**shudder**

There is something IN HIS EAR.  

Instant panic.  Is it a bug?  Is it poop (he was just in the bathroom)?  Is it some other foreign object with which I am less familiar?  I grab his hand and leave.  

Sitting in the car I’m thinking, “What the actual f*ck is in your ear?” and I am not getting any straight answers.  He is clearly exercising his right to plead the fifth.  I call the pediatrician, who closes at 4:00, and hope they answer.  They answer!  I tear out of the parking lot, grilling this poor kid the whole way. 

It took the entire drive to the office to get the full story.  Apparently a little girl (who will not be named) was eating…wait for it….RAISINS at lunch and decided to put some in his ear.  While listening I am wondering, Were you a willing participant in all this?  Did she assault you?  Should I tell the school?  What the f*ck does a parent do in this situation?  Also, note to this young lady with the raisins: not the way to make friends!

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…Or is it?

Once inside the office the panic begins to subside.  Luckily we have an amazing pediatrician who was willing to see us right away and calmly removed said RAISIN from William’s ear…all while providing a teachable moment in a stern doctor voice.  

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“Now you listen here young man. Just because your mom got an AMAZING story out of this…yeah, no, never mind. Definitely stay friends with that chick.”

The whole drive home, after the raisin extraction, I was thinking to myself what is the name of that cartoon…with the raisins who play instruments…they are in a band?…

Robin, I believe you’re referring to the Emmy Award-winning band, The California Raisins, who catapulted to popularity in the mid-1980s.

Now that things have settled down, I think you and your son can both enjoy (and hear) a trip down memory lane…

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Any other surprising social media post-spottings out there?

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