Lists in and of themselves are a guilty pleasure for me, and I can often be found tallying up tasks I’ve already completed, just so I can cross them off. Like this one.
1 down, 9 to go…
10. Keebler Elf
First order of business: deep fryer. (You thought those Fudge Stripes were good before?)
9. Debbie Downer Sound Effects Specialist
We all know one. In my case, let’s call her Phyllis. Because that’s her name. Exhibit A:
FRIDAY – MIDDAY – INT. WOMEN’S BATHROOM
ANONYMOUS COLLEAGUE: How you doin’, Phyllis?
PHYLLIS: Oh, you know. It’s just too much. I’m having a mental breakdown. How are you?
ANONYMOUS COLLEAGUE: Oh pretty good, thanks. TGIF!
PHYLLIS: They even replaced the paper towels. How are we supposed to dry our hands with these?
8. Merkin Maker
Don’t know what a merkin is? You’re better off. Don’t Google it. Do-on’t do it!
7. Robert Pattinson’s White Chest Make-up Applicator
Time is running out on this one.
6. Demotivational Speaker
“Thanks for joining me today. Have you guys all seen ‘March of the Penguins’?”
I would go to jail for you, Snooks. Cawl me!
4. Character Actor, Harry Potter Theme Park, Walt Disney World
When you wish upon a star…that star usually gets a restraining order.
3. Bubble Wrap Packaging Popper
Click here only if you dare: http://fun.from.hell.pl/2003-11-24/bubblewrap.swf
2. Baby Lamb BMI Calculator
Looks like Bonnie’s at 35. It’s time.
1. “Dawson’s Creek” Background Actor
Oh wait, been there, done that.