Tersely Yours, Lazy McCantBeBothered

Forget texts, forget Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, IM…I have no expectations when it comes to your social media well wishes, but giving me a real card with nothing but your name written inside? Why bother! Sure, the dog dressed as a rabbit on the front might scream “Julie!”, but you know what else it screams? L-A-Z-Y. Just because you spent time and money seeking out and purchasing that card doesn’t mean you can let it do all the work for you.

The ultimate example is holiday greetings with the family name STAMPED on the inside: “Happy Holidays. The Jones Family.” Are you serious, Jones Family? You killed a tree and I risked getting a paper cut for that? It’s the card that says, “You are an obligation. Merry Christmas!”

This obligation theory applies to any type of card, but especially thank you cards. Oh, you like the gift and thoughtful card I composed for you? Well your sloppily scrawled, “Thank you for the blankety blank and blank. I really like using my new blank blank blank. Love, Boring Betty” makes me wish I didn’t get you anything at all.

Remember when your parents used to say, “Don’t buy me a gift, make me something instead”? They had the right idea. You grumbled and groaned, but when Mother’s/Father’s Day rolled around, you learned that you were capable of making some pretty sweet friendship bracelets.

An exceptional thank you card, in just a few short sentences.

My point is, even craftng a crappy card is better than buying a card and writing nothing inside. And believe me when I say getting no card is better than receiving a cop-out card. Your empty (i.e., soulless) cards go right in the blue bin, but anything more I will treasure forever.

There are other perks to taking a minute or two when you open that Hallmark gem, pen at the ready. You will be the envy of friends and family alike if you take the time to think of something touching or cute to add. It doesn’t take much. A simple, “I’ll always be younger than you” does the trick in a birthday card pinch. Even if you’re not artistically inclined [like me], you luck out in greeting cards, because stick figures are almost always hilarious.

Still don’t know what to write? Try one of these:

Write anything in big block letters.

Draw a stick figure in a hat appropriate for the occasion.

Write “That’s What She Said” or “Preach” after whatever’s already inside the card.

Draw the one thing you were always good at doodling during 7th grade algebra (Mickey Mouse? Trees? Peace signs? Mrs. Jonathan Taylor Thomas inside a heart?).

One word [that speaks a thousand]: Stickers!

Tell them about the effort you went to to find that perfect card.

Give it a try and don’t over think it. I believe in you. And I’ll be sure to tell you in a future post how you’re doing.

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