My SIL (sister-in-law) is great. Smart, loving, responsible. She’s one of my top go-to gals – she can help a sister out with just about anything. But she does have one flaw, and that flaw sounds a lot like the theme song to “7th Heaven.” Do you guys remember that show? I do, unfortunately. Yesterday, SIL reminded me of this nightmare with a nostalgic Facebook post. A dull shudder ran down my spine instantly when I saw this picture:
I told SIL I could handle Hugh Hefner, but Eric Camden was another matter. Seriously. Remember all those icky storylines where he’d counsel someone from his church in a far too intrusive way? I think pamphlets were involved, or at least I always imagined they were. And there’d constantly be uncomfortable sexual innuendo with his wife. Let’s not forget, Aaron Spelling was behind this 11-year-long (!!!) trainwreck, so I really don’t think I’m imagining things.
I concluded with SIL, via Facebook, that they were definitely keeping extra, unseen children in the basement of that huge white house of theirs. After the conversation, though, I still felt unsatisfied. I needed to prove -perhaps only to myself- just how inappropriate this show really was. And so after half-assed extensive research, I now present to you…
The Top 3 Most Ridiculous “7th Heaven” Moments*
*that I could find on YouTube
#1 – A Heavenly Arsenal
#2 – Read Between the Lines, Mom
#3 – This is Uncomfortable. Er, PERIOD.
And now, just for fun (I like to imagine they’re saying, “Puh-leeeeeeease noooooooo. Make it stooooop!”):
Go Jules Go 
OMG. I couldn’t get past “Ruthie’s a woman. As of yesterday.” Kill me now.
hahaha I KNOW! I almost didn’t make it through myself (and wouldn’t have, if it weren’t for this journalistic drive of mine to provide my loyal readers with hard-hitting evidence). There was also a ‘pot intervention’ clip that was pure gold, but it was 4 minutes long and I couldn’t do that to you guys.
LOVE IT!!! Love, SIL herself!
It is my SIL duty to keep you from crossing over to the dark side.
Also? Those are some well-arranged, completely impractical knives. And, not the chain! Anything but the chain!!
I am laughing so hard I’m crying. Maybe I AM glad this shiz was on for 11 years!
Tee-hee! This was another show I only watched as long as required to see myself as an extra on it.
Whew – you made it out alive! They didn’t get you in the basement!! …Or did they??
I was one of the lucky ones! I thank G-d for it every day, too. 😉
Oh, and that sappy ridiculous music.
I mean, at least you know what’s really happening at the Playboy mansion. That’s all I’m saying.
I actually lived through the period clip. My mom and I were living with her parents at the time and she proceeded to proudly announce at the dinner table that her daughter had become a woman! She said she wanted to get me a button that read “I am woman, Hear me roar!” My grandparents, my aunt and her now husband were all there. True story. I can laugh about it now, but then. I was horrified! lol
Wow, Staci – you’ve turned my world tospy-turvy! This was one of those things that I never thought ACTUALLY happened to people. I’m so sorry.
Ha! Thanks so much for reading and sharing!! 🙂
You’d think a family that intervenes in drug cases and nun-chuck gangs would be a little more hardened to the middle finger…
hahahaha You make an EXCELLENT point. Thank you so much for reading and commenting (and making me laugh)! 🙂
Oh. my. word. I am not familiar with this show at all. And now I have to go gouge out my eyes. Too crappy to even be craptastic.
LOL! Consider yourself lucky! You are so right – beyond craptastic into the realm of crap-o-palooza.
As I look back over the 5 or 6 years following that first moment of “womanhood” and all the things that I put my mother through because of the hormonal psychosis associated with teenage periods, I think I got off easier than my mom. lol!
Thanks for posting on my new blog. You and TheBloggess are two of the reasons that I have decided to try my hand at this blog thing. I reallly enjoy your posts and your outlook on things! Thanks for sharing. . .
LOL! I hear you! As for 7th Heaven, no one who ever watched got off easy 😉
Wow – that is one the nicest things anyone has ever said to me! It’s funny you mention TheBloggess since I JUST discovered her this afternoon; she’s hilarious! Your comment really made my day, and I’m very excited for you – blogging is so much fun! If you ever have any questions about the WordPress world, let me know! *Unsolicited advice alert* I’ve found that patience, connecting with other bloggers and putting the love of writing (and writing about what I love!) first make it truly enjoyable. I don’t think anyone read my blog (except a couple of friends and my mom, ha!) for the first few months!