Giveaway Junkie

GIVEAWAY: Won’t You Be My Codependent Independence Day Friend?

Oh blogging.

How I love you.

Even when your cursor blinks blankly and your Stats page laughs in my face, I come crawling back for more.

Yes. You, much like sweet, sweet, blog giveaway swag, always manage to turn my frowns upside-down.

Speaking of! I’ve been saving a couple of giveaway items for a rainy day, and, well:

I think this qualifies.
I think this qualifies.

So let’s get down to it, shall we?

The Prize

Clearly I have no use for this book. Thanks, New Jersey weather.

1) Finding Water (part of one of my favorite series, The Artist’s Way) by Julia Cameron.

2) Amazing Fred pens, clever enough to trick anyone into thinking you frequent places like Verdant Fields Nudist Camp or Stuffed With Love Taxidermy.

The Rules

Simply leave a comment describing your unreasonable attachment to any person, pet, place or object. Who or what controls you? That’s right. This Independence Day, we’re celebrating codependency! As usual, I’ll oh-so-subjectively pick a winner based on humor and originality.

If you have any trouble leaving a comment below, feel free to email me:

The Deadline

Monday, July 8, 2013, midnight EST. Winner announced Thursday, July 11, 2013, 6am EST.

Can’t wait to read your entries, Chipmunks! Now if you’ll excuse me. Vodka dependency calls.


82 thoughts on “GIVEAWAY: Won’t You Be My Codependent Independence Day Friend?”

  1. I don’t know if this open to people outside of the US, what with the shipping costs ‘n all, but as you haven’t specified, I shall join in anyway, and then you can totally disregard it if I’m not eligible. Well, you can’t TOTALLY disregard it, because obviously I’ll still expect an entertaining reply to my comment. Shall I just get on with it?

    Ok, I have an unreasonable attachment to Encona Original Hot Pepper Sauce. I always have to have a bottle, and if it runs out before I have bought more, a slight panic will set in “What if I have a bland meal and no way to liven it up?!”

    1. Yup, this contest is WORLDWIDE, baby, because that’s how I roll! (And kickass people like you, specifically, are the reason for that.)

      If Peppermeister helps me judge this contest, I know who he’ll pick 😉 We’re the same way about always having hot sauce on hand, although fickle in our brand allegiance.

    2. Excellent choice! I have never tried Encona (not in stores here). But, I do know it’s a West Indian sauce which means Scotch Bonnets and Habaneros (quite fiery). Jules is correct, you have my vote*

      *means nothing.

  2. Nail clippers. Yep, those $.99 silver beauties placed so tantalizingly next to every grocery and drugstore checkout. With the candy. I may have dozens; there’s always a pair within reach for a sudden wardrobe malfunction, a quick hair cut, or an emergency appendectomy. My friends know where to go with their bleeding hangnails and embedded splinters. As if you were not already salivating, did you know they come in colors, in character shapes and with bling? Google it. They also come as multifunction tools with flashlights, bottle openers or rape whistles. Is it really dependence when something has such a positive role in your life? Honestly, what more could a girl want? Hmmm, let me know if you find one with a corkscrew…

    1. It’s not even right how much you make me laugh, Louise. Peppermeister has a mild case of this addiction, and I wouldn’t mind as much if he went for the ones with either a) bling, or b) corkscrews. (I think you just stumbled upon your future fortune with that idea.)

  3. My shrinkapist has just been assigned the task of figuring out why I have an unreasonable attachment to a person. I won’t go into it here. I just wanted to say that those pens would be a fantabulous way of getting retribution for all the clicky pen clickers I work with. I hate clicky pens. But if I could give them these, they could suffer ill-fated reputation. Or I could. Hard to say.

    1. “Shrinkapist”! I love that! Anytime you want to trade war stories, you just let. Me. Know.

      The pens are ACTUALLY funny, too – each one has a cleverly fleshed-out description.

      1. Yeah, it’s my unifying term for the psychiatrist (read: person who writes scrips for meds) and the actual therapist (read: LCSW). You can read all about it in the Semi-Gut Wrenching Disguised as Semi-Funny and Navel-Gazing categories on my blog if you really wanna. I should take one of these pens to my next shrinkapy session. That would be AWESOME.

  4. Television. She is a cruel, yet seductive mistress. I cannot seem to quit her. After a long day of dealing with court shenanigans, watching some mindless reality show that soothes my battered soul, somehow makes it all better. I am so addicted to TV that I have been know to record 4 different shows at the same time on 4 different DVRs in my house. It’s really THAT bad. So bad that I have even involved the children. My stellar parenting skills have passed on this love/addiction to TV to my oldest, since our bonding time now revolves around which recorded show we will watch every night when his younger brother goes to bed. Nobody in my home can escape the siren call of that glowing box. Nobody.

    1. Oh preach, blogger sister friend. Peppermeister and I have a DVR for each of us, and -this is REALLY bad- sometimes we’re so into our own TVs that we text each other from down the hall instead of engaging in, what’s that thing called again? Oh, right, human interaction. Right now I’m working my way through the entire Dawson’s Creek series on OnDemand (I haven’t watched it since it was on the air!). Joey and Pacey are juuuust about to get together. Yesss.

      P.S. – It’s really weird that you just said ‘glowing box,’ because about 15 minutes ago, I said ‘light box’ in my comment to Greatsby.

  5. Tilex Pen Tile and Grout Cleaner. They never have it in the stores around my house so I have to order it in bulk on the internet. Every time I get this giant box in the mail full of cleaning pens I feel like I should be featured on the Discovery Channel for something.

    1. Oh have mercy. Now that I know about these pens, I’m going to be featured right along with you on Discovery Channel’s “Strange Addictions” – we’ll be right after the chick who eats toilet paper.

    1. Oh shoot – your comment got cut off! Although if you did that on purpose, that’s very funny. (And the snarky part of me that thinks she’s funny wants to say, “Is your new addiction to leave me hanging?!”) My imagination is running wild!

  6. Is it weird that a BUNCH of things popped in my head IMMEDIATELY when you mentioned the word “codependency.” That can’t be healthy. Here they are in no particular order:
    Willow (a cat)
    Zuzu (another cat)
    Bumble and Bumble texture cream
    Red wine
    My bright yellow lemon juicer
    My iphone (embarrassingly, excruciatingly so)
    Uncle Jesse

    1. Oh, she plays dirty, people, saving the best for last on this list.

      And you think it’s bad you have an immediate list? I think about this often enough to create a whole contest out of it!

      Cheers, my friend. It’s okay if you spill the red wine. I think someone has a gross of stain remover pens to help us out (their addiction).

  7. Ok, I’ll play, but only if you promise NOT to send the book or the pen and because it’s such a short list. Carbs, sugars, redheads, volvos, liquor, cigarettes, yoga, recliners, hostas, sweet basil, Italian food, Argentine tango, sex, Zumba and obsessively weighing myself for 5 suicidal meditative minutes every day. Love your blog.

    1. Oh my! This is a tantalizing list – thank you for sharing (and the compliment)! I’m trying to figure out exactly how many of these things you could do all at once. An impressive number, I’d say.

      Ug. The scale. Yup, I just can’t quit her, either.

  8. Let me start off by saying I’m not proud of this and I recognize that it is squicky and icky, but I have a co-dependent relationship with the peeling skin on my husband’s sunburned legs and arms. He visited Las Vegas a few weeks ago to squander our life savings and came back with an epic sunburn. Whenever I see the flakes of skin, I become like a chimpanzee and start a-groomin’. My husband asked me this morning if I could do this for a living would I and I honestly said “yes” because I am sick. Sick, I tell ya! What’s wrong with me?

    1. Ooh, Speaker, I commend your honesty. EVERYONE is this way about peeling skin and scabs and zits, and if they’re not, they’re lying.

      I just read that chimpanzees’ grooming is more of a bonding experience than a cleansing ritual. You need to remind your husband of that, assuming you keep him around after you see your joint savings account balance.

  9. I was not going to enter this contest, but then the Bud Light Lime from my fridge demanded that I attempt to win these pens so that I could use them to write more checks for Bud Light Lime! Yes, I’m controlled by an effeminate beer product and I can’t help it! Am I an alcoholic? No. Do alcoholics drink to help them forget about all the dirty diapers and stress of kids, work and life in general? What? They do? Fuck! Then change my no to a maybe.

    Um, in my defense, when I’m out of Bud Light Lime I don’t drink my own aftershave or even any of the leftover from who knows what Miller Lite or other hard liquor that’s been festering away in our cabinets for years. That’s good, right? Oh God, I need those pens to write my suicide note now. No, kidding! Just to write a “give me all the money” note for the bank teller so I can get more of that damned lime beer.

    1. Hang on. Hang on one doodle-loving second here, Donald. You WEREN’T going to enter?! No, no, I’m not hurt. I know that’s just the Bud Light Lime talking.

      I have no idea what you’re talking about with any of this. And listen, do you know who polished off that vanilla extract last night? I’m supposed to make cupcakes for the 4th.

      1. I didn’t want to win and have one of the many hens you cavort with spreading rumors to one of your many husbands that you and I have an inappropriate thing going where we hike up a mountain and meet for drinks, yadda yadda yadda and spooning with a doodle or something like that.

      1. I’m a mystery like that. It’s part of my charm. Hey I read a stupid Stephen King short story yesterday. If you see him, tell him Don says try harder next time, jerk! Thanks.

  10. If there is one thing I cannot live without it’s chapstick. Chapsticks, rather. Because you always need a spare. If I go somewhere and realize I’ve left my chapstick behind I absolutely panic. I devote all my energy into preserving what chapstick I have left on my lips. I won’t eat, drink, speak, or breathe until I can be reunited with my beloved chapstick.

    1. YES! Me too!!!! I have multiples so that there’s one in every purse/hiking bag. You never know, man. Forget the bear bell, you don’t want to be out in the wilderness with chapped lips!

      Do you have a flavor? I’m a tried and true Cherry gal m’self.

  11. I have a weird fascination with British TV. I am not just talking Masterpiece theater or period dramas. I even watch the Soaps on Youtube- Eastenders, Corrie, Emmerdale . . . Then there are the mysteries and comedies. My favorite show happens to be Doc Matin. I know, fellow Americans, just roll your eyes and ask me how I can understand the accents 😉

    Here is something a bit more normal- Talenti Gelato! I love the Mediterrian Mint & Caramel Sea Salt flavors.

    1. Normal schmormal! Bring on the Brits! I have a severe fascination with ALL things British, including the accents. Do you think they would be our friend, even on Independence Day, if we offered to share our gelato? Or would they be all, “Oh pish posh. This is nothing to what I can get when I dart over to Italy and back in 7 minutes?”

  12. Desserts control me. They’re pretty much the only reason I eat fruits and vegetables…so I can not feel guilty about eating dessert. I’m actually a little depressed that our new house is farther away from the “good” frozen yogurt place. The closest one is only so-so…which means I’ll still drive to the one that’s farther away…except in emergency situations.

    1. Gah! Comment twinsies! I was just commenting on your blog at the same time!

      I so feel you. Where we live now, EVERYTHING is a drive. The good news is, pretty soon it becomes, “Welp. What’s another 20 minutes [to the land of deliciousness]?”

  13. Cooking magazines. Cook books. Random recipes I find anywhere. My recipes boards on Pintirest are out of control! My nightstand is stuffed with cooking magazines, most still in their clear mailing wrappers. The storage box between two chairs in the sitting area, same thing. I have shelves of cookbooks I’ve never even really looked at, except that one time in the checkout line at the grocery store where, “Oh, I’ll cook this!” flooded my brain, temporarily blinding me from the fact that I already have more than I need. And I do believe I’m running out of space on my iPad because of all of the cooking magazines I’ve downloaded. The cabinets in my office, above my computer? Open at your own risk for there will be a deluge of magazines falling out on you, burying you to the point of requiring a rescue team with sniffing dogs to find you. And finally, I’ve been known to spend more on cooking magazines and books found in the grocery store than I am on groceries. If I cook every day for the rest of my life, and I mean every single dingle day, I will never get through all of the books and magazines I have. I’m sure my family will bury them with me, just to finally be rid of them!

    1. The way you (awesomely) described your cookbook fetish is exactly how I feel about wanting to try every single restaurant in New York City. I don’t think, mathematically, it’s actually possible (especially not with the lifespan I’ve calculated for myself…), and yet, would I let facts stand in the way of my appetite?

      You go on with your bad self. (Did I just date myself with that line?) I’ll forward you any Barnes & Noble coupons I get.

  14. Now is as good of time as any to unload something. I like to drink pickle juice. No, not a quick sip, but LONG pulls once the pickles are gone. No one needs to witness this. The spicier the better. Sooo, I’m hooked on McClure’s Spicy Bloody Mary mix because it’s sort of like drinking spicy pickle juice … with vodka. I am not always good at life. This stuff is insanity and makes me, but for a brief moment, forget my deplorable Cherry Chapstick addiction.

    1. You’re not alone, Anna Lea! Snooki (from “Jersey Shore”) does the same, and lets the world watch. And I’m prettttty sure I’ve seen ‘pickle martinis’ on a menu or two. Not only THAT, but someone else commented earlier re: their Chapstick addiction, and we both agreed Cherry was the best flavor – and of course you need one in every purse!

      I hope you sleep a little easier tonight, knowing you have friends here.

  15. My scale. I can’t stop weighing myself. I weigh myself before zumba and then after zumba to see if I might have lost any weight. But then again after zumba after I eat, to see if I might have eaten back all those caloresi I burned. At night I weigh myself so I won’t be surprised in the morning when I weigh myself. In the morning I weigh myself before my shower and then again after I shower – because, you know, I might have washed off some calories. But then my hair might be wet, so I have to re-weigh after I dry, because wet hair is so heavy. But obsessed? Of course not.

    1. Um, OBVIOUSLY you have to get back on after you dry your hair. Why doesn’t everyone understand this? Don’t forget to take off your earrings, too.

  16. Haha an interesting contest. I’m not normally one to enter but hey it’s worth a shot.

    I have an abnormal codependency on my cat (Grizzly) and my favorite band.
    My cat being the only constant in my life, has been through all the emotional bumps, bruises and train wrecks I’ve gone experienced. Without him I can guarantee I would have collapsed under the pressure of my life. He’s a huge jerk to everyone but with me he’s an uber softie. Before him I was never really a cat person. But now I’m the cat whisperer lol.

    As for my favorite band Strung Out well my codependency has manifested itself into an obsession, I own all their albums on cd/mp3 and some on Vinyl, I’ve seen them live 13 times and counting, have travelled to other cities to see them perform, my tshirt collection is comprised mainly with their merch, and have a tattoo of their logo (the astrolux) with another tattoo of song notes of theirs in the works. Not to mention all the pins, stickers, concert posters and other collectables I’ve saved over the years. If I didn’t have their music in my life so much of who I am as a person would be gone.

    1. I’m so glad you did enter (thank you)! And can you believe no one else mentioned their pet?! That would top my ‘codependency’ list without a DOUBT. I won’t even consider jobs that don’t let me work from home at least part-time, because I don’t want to leave my dog alone!

      Grizzly sounds awesome. He could probably kick Uncle Jesse’s (my dog) tail.

      I’m really impressed with your dedication to Strung Out. I definitely have some life-altering musical/cinematic influences. If I weren’t scared of tattoos, I could tell some interesting stories with my ink… Can you imagine a “Dawson’s Creek” tattoo, maybe down my rib cage? Yeah, me either.

      1. Haha as epic as a Dawson Creek rib tattoo sounds I can understand your reservations about it. And you’re probably right, Grizzly could kick Uncle Jesse’s behind. My cat is 19lbs of pure muscle and claws. Lol Anyway Have an awesome time celebrating your independence with your codependent 4 legged friend.

  17. I’m not playing along, you should just send me things anyway LIKE YOU WERE TOLD but wanted to say, WOW! That’s a lotta wata you got going on. We’re still flooding in my region yet the ranch is dry. Weird. It like sees our property and goes, ‘yipes! Them’s hillbillies is scary’ and hits the next place.

    1. Lily! Glad to hear your ranch is dry!

      Luckily, we’re on a hill, so we’re okay – but that was the end of our street on Monday! It was a flash flood, and always goes down quickly (within hours), but dang, Mother Nature has been MERCILESS with NJ over the past year. She’s probably too tired to mess with you.

      1. Actually we *need* it…It has been pissing everywhere but our property. We have to water things to keep them alive. Crazy but I’m glad to hear you’re safe.

  18. Oh me, oh my. What are my unreasonable attachments? It’s more about moments.

    Like that moment you start to feel the first bit of buzz from a sip of wine, all warm and tingly. Ahhhhh.

    Or that moment when you lay your weary head onto your pillow at night and start to drift off to sleep. Ahhhhh.

    So to sum up: alcohol and sleep. This is what I live for.

    And blogging.

    1. DP, I love this entry! You made me go “awwww” (moments! What a great way of thinking of it) and then “yessss” as I sipped on my cheap champagne and realized that, since it’s 7:09pm, bedtime’s in less than an hour…

  19. Books.
    I am a book whore. I will pick up and read any book that’s lying around. It’s disgusting.
    Today I finished a book and I got worried because the library is closed because it’s a national holiday and I don’t have any new books to read and I can’t get one now on account of the library being closed and I may have started to panic a little just as I am panicking now, typing this.

    1. Did you make it to the library?? This was a serious cliffhanger. And I’m with you – I only JUST downloaded Kindle for my phone about two months ago. Fight the good fight! I fear my Post-It addiction is going to fall by the wayside, next…

  20. I’m hopelessly attached to my old colander. It was my mother’s and before that my grandmother’s. I don’t keep it because of any sort of family heirloom thoughts, but because…I don’t know why. It’s obviously old and has seen much better days. The metal is dull and dented, and probably contains lead or some toxic elements. One of its three feet is bent over causing it to lurch off to the side, increasing the risk hot pasta spilling out into the sink below. My wife has tried to find it a new home, sneaking one shiny stainless new-fangled colander after another into my kitchen, but like the utensil version of the monkey’s paw, you can’t get rid of my colander so easily, and I find it and return it to it’s rightful place in the cabinet.

    1. Ah, my mom has one like that, too! And death to anyone who tries to tell you it doesn’t serve multiple purposes – it makes quite the superhero hat in a pinch.

  21. I want both of these prizes!!! AHHHHH!!!

    Okay, let’s see… I have many books and dvd’s that I’ve never opened, but keep because “I really want to read/see it!” by which I mean “I really want to be the kind of person who would read/see this book/movie!”

    But the big one would be a couple of t-shirts I’m attached to to the point of madness. One’s a “Guinness is good for you” shirt that’s so old it’s see-through, and itches like it’s made of wool and ants. The other is a “Rasputin’s Jazz & Soul” shirt that shrunk to the point of being a midriff baring half-shirt, and is covered with little stains and pin-holes. I take them out. I put them on. I say, “God, I can’t wear these. Ever. They’re done. Throw them out.” I sigh. I put them back in the t-shirt drawer. I wait 3 days. I repeat.

    1. I allllmost sent you the pens with your birthday card; I had them sitting side by side. But then I thought I was getting too close to regifting territory, since I’d gotten the pens to use for a blog giveaway. Too bad this entry really sucks, or you’d have had a solid go at them. I have a similar story in the form of a truly heinous 16-year-old “FRIENDS” night shirt. It’s not even cool, it’s just… I’m attached.

      F those books/movies. We both know you’re already living over here in Guilty Pleasureville, where it’s warm and also there’s cake.

  22. I need to look at the People of Walmart at least once a week. I’m not sure why. But if I had to choose between the People of Walmart and gin, I would take gin. So I guess that’s two unreasonable attachments. Oh yeah, and I also feel attached to the kids I live with, even though they sometimes bind me up in a tensor bandage and/or put me in a dress. Sick, eh? I say it’s better than my mum’s nonnegotiable attachment to nasal decongestant spray and my dad’s compulsion to skulk around the video store.

  23. I’m unashamedly attached to cleaning products. Whether it be the crisp ‘whip’ sound of the opening of the new packet of cleaning wipes, or the ‘fffftttt’ of spraying surface cleaner across the worktops, it makes me happy.
    I’m aware that a psychologist might call this an ‘issue’. Issue, schmissue. x

    1. Your dependency goes swimmingly with mine – which is to wait to see how high the dust bunnies can climb before someone calls the authorities. We should hang out.

  24. I know I’m too late for the contest, but I do have some attachment issues. I’m addicted to Cape Cod Sweet & Spicy Jalapeño Chips. I’ve tried breaking my addiction, but Shaw’s is having a 2 for $5 sale right now and I’ve been jonesing pretty bad. Also, I have an unreasonable attachment to my husband’s butt. I just can’t not touch it when its near. I don’t think he minded this until our children (ages 3 and 5, respectively) started absently patting him on the butt whenever they pass.

    1. Chips and butts!! What a delightful combo. And Cape Cod chips, in general, are some of the best around. I’ve got to try this flavor, especially given that I’m married The Peppermeister, grower and lover of all things spicy. His butt’s not too bad, either, come to think of it…

      Thanks so much for entering (and you did make the deadline)! 🙂

      1. Just let The Peppermeister know that if he ever gets the urge to scratch his balls after eating those chips, he might want to wash his hands first. My husband literally leapt off the couch one night, yelping. Scared the crap out of me and made me laugh for a good ten minutes. (The time it took for him to take a another shower and join me back on the couch!)(Also, let’s never tell him that I posted that information somewhere on the Internet.)

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