Animals, humor, Just For Fun, New Jersey is breathtaking

Talking Animals Are My Favorite

Hi Chipmunks! I went to the zoo on Saturday.

Jealous? You should be. Here’s what happened.





















Happy captioning!


55 thoughts on “Talking Animals Are My Favorite”

  1. I see you had a good time! As I was scrolling down, I kept thinking “please please PLEASE let there be a pic of Jules inside that plastic dome!” The photo of Peppermeister in there is priceless. (I’ll be back later with a caption)

    1. It took some serious climbing through dirty, germ-laden tubes to get to those pop-out windows. And I was sober.

      I know. I’m disappointed in myself. (For the sobriety, obviously.)

  2. Hey, I just clocked out! I’m on break! No visitors in the break room!!

    Haha, sorry I was typing out loud. The Peppermeister rodent incest observation picture is classic. Are you two working on babies yet BTW?

    1. I like that this comment came through as ‘mystery man’ so I could pretend it was actually the alpaca (llama) talking.

      We are working on a life that involves never changing a single diaper. Our [aging] parents are on their own.

  3. “What are you looking at? Haven’t you read ‘Everyone Poops’?”

    That’s the best I could do pre-coffee.

    Looks like fun, Jules! And you look GORG in all black. Like a sexy blond bombshell ninja.

    1. Hehe. I’m raising my jet fuel-esque-coffee-filled mug to you right now. (Wow. That sentence is a clunker.)

      And thank you. I was mourning the loss of the pet prairie dog my parents never let me have.

  4. You go to Turtle Back Zoo too?! It’s my favorite Zoo!! The pig is my personal favorite, she/he always puts on a fabulous show. 🙂 Especially when they feed her/him. It always makes me feel better about how I eat spaghetti.

    1. Cool! Isn’t it a nifty little zoo? The prairie dogs probably made me laugh the hardest. So expressive and active.

      We were quite taken with the pig, too. I’m thinking it’s gotta be a girl. The sheer vanity alone.

  5. What zoo? Do we have a zoo in NJ that I’m unaware of?

    I was driving through the nowheres of Pennsylvania once and saw black bear roadkill. It’s usually deer but this was a great big black bear.

    Two nights ago, out while out in Red Bank, we saw a bald eagle land on a branch with a fish in its claw. For real! Then, when it took off, the fish fell out of its claw and landed in the street. It was a pretty decent sized fish, too. That’s some wild kingdom shit, man.

    Was the stroller parking next to the bear pen. That’d be mean. Like putting appetizers just out of paw’s reach.

    “Do you have a baby wipe in your bag? Would you please clean my rectum?

    1. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wild kingdom shiz for realz! We New Jerseyians are not equipped for these kinds of sights. I’d have been pretty upset about the bear, but I can totally see its ghost being all, “You should see the car!”

      1. Does every one of my comments have to have a fucking typo in it?! Jesus Christ. Anyway, here’s another 100% true story. A few years ago we visited the Cleveland Zoo. We were in the monkey house and a big crowd was gathered around the rhesus monkey cage. One of them casually walked up to the glass and started masturbating in front of everyone. You should have seen the moms grab their kids and scatter! I couldn’t stop laughing.

  6. “Hey buddy, take a picture it lasts longer – but probably not as long as the wall of stink that’s about to hit you in 3….2…1….”


    “Came to the zoo to make some memories, did ya? Here, let me give you something to remember me by….” (that’s my impression of a disgruntled llama)

  7. My kids and I were hanging out at the lion’s den at the Cape May Zoo one time and we all got sprayed by a lion. You think cat piss stinks? Try King of the Jungle for fragrance!

    Caption: “Who needs a schtinkin’ commode? We men do it all standing up!”

  8. So Rodents of Unusual Size are real? Whoa. And…I can’t believe you touched the sting ray. Twice now I’ve inserted my hand and removed it prior to touching because they freak me out.

    “I swear I did a split yesterday.” Or…”These are my sea legs.”

  9. Have you ever heard of Lorenzo Llama? He’s a character on Sirius/XM Kids Place radio. NO? OK. He’s hilarious. There’s also Dirk the 4th and Forgotten Chipmunk. I may have mentioned him to you in the past. NO? OK. Back to Lorenzo, he lives in a petting zoo but doesn’t like to be touched. “Don’t touch the llama” is his catchphrase. Definitely, “don’t touch the llama” poo would be a rule here. No llama poo.

    p.s. Photo frames of you both prairie dogging is a must-have gift for everyone this year! Love it!

  10. Haven’t been to the TB Zoo in ages. Glad to see it’s still around. Caption: Yeah I like standing in piles of shredded cheese – you got a problem with that???

  11. Look at all the fun I missed yesterday because of this stupid sinus infection. Gah! (<—- that also is not my caption).

    By the way, I have that EXACT picture of my husband touching a stingray in Monterey during our honeymoon. Same exact expression and everything.

    "Hee hee hooooo, hee hee hooooo, now PUSH! Hey, where do you think the term Llamaze came from anyway?"

  12. My caption:

    “Greetings. I’m the interior decorator. My client requested a warm, snug, cozy feel for this room, so we opted for pine wainscotting and wall-to-wall scrambled eggs.”

  13. “Hey quick, Cleetus, another one-a-them damn German poop fetish chicks is filmin’ me dropping a doooooouece. Go fer ‘er wallet while I got ‘er distracted.”

    Fun fact: I am the only person who is both a Patron member of the Zoological Society of NJ *and* has been banned for life from the Turtle Back Zoo.

    No but seriously that fucking peacock had it coming. And they ban ME for life? Ban the fucking peacock I said, but nooooo it’s all “Come with us, sir”. Bah.

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