Food, Wipe the Drool

I Did It.

I hit my goal weight!


This isn't it.
This isn’t it.

During recent travels, I stumbled across a fun little bar and restaurant in Seattle called The 5 Point Café. (No, they’re not paying me to mention this. Though if they were, I’d ask for compensation exclusively in pig.) They opened in 1929 and own the bragging rights of “the longest run family eatery in Seattle and oldest bar still in existence in Belltown.”


I did not know this when I entered.

All I went equipped with was the recommendation of my hotel concierge:

ME: Any good spots nearby for breakfast?

CONCIERGE: Well 5 Point has sort of your typical diner breakfast, and they’re just up the block. Everyone has tattoos.

ME (to self): Gee, I’m sure you mentioned that last bit knowing I’ll fit right in.

Why didn’t anyone warn me they don’t wear colors in the Pacific Northwest?
Seriously. Why didn’t anyone warn me they don’t wear colors in the Pacific Northwest? (Photo taken in front of de wonderbaar Auld Holland Inn in Oak Harbor, WA.)

The idea of an omelet and mimosa was too much temptation to resist for this Jersey native, so I zipped up my bright red raincoat and trekked around the corner to find an unassuming café with a large U-shaped bar and seating on either side.


I was told I could sit anywhere, and because it was a quiet Wednesday morning, decided to hog (pun SO intended) a booth. When the coffee came, I closed my eyes and smiled. Ah, Seattle. Thank you. Thank you for getting it. I may wear neon, but I like my coffee black, and jet fuel strong.

I took an uncharacteristically long time to order, because everything on the menu sounded so good. I was craving avocado, so finally went with the California eggs benedict. At the last minute, I said, “Can I get a side of bacon, too, please?” It was $4 for 4 strips. I couldn’t decide if this was a bargain or a rip-off, so reserved judgment.

When my plate came, I was overwhelmed. In the best way. There were two poached eggs atop tomatoes and avocado, resting on dense english muffins. All of this was smothered in hollandaise sauce, alongside PERFECT hash browns: shredded, with a completely crunchy, crispy top. 

Good morning to ME.

But then.


And then.

The afterthought side dish:


“Our famous bacon,” the waiter said, as he rested the magical plate to my left. Four strips of the thickest bacon I’d ever seen sat before me. Still, I was skeptical.  Was it too thick? Would it still be crispy?

I took a bite and… cue Meg Ryan-When-Harry-Met-Sally moment. It melted in my mouth. I took another bite. My life was forever changed. It was tender and fluffy, yet fatty and crispy. I saw the face of Leonardo DiCaprio wrapped in the voice of Justin Timberlake ensconced in the body of Channing Tatum.

Their website makes it sound like they might marinate it. Maybe it was deep fried. I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t even know what I did on the rest of that trip. All I know is I’m going back.

For bacon.


What’s the most decadent thing you’ve ever eaten?

P.S. – I’m actually headed to BaconFest 2014 in Chicago next month and will let you know if I find anything that can top this. Anyone else going?!


68 thoughts on “I Did It.”

  1. Avocado?? [drool] Do they deliver? Or should I just hop a plane and go to Seattle instead? Yeah, I think I’ll do that now. Can’t pass up a chance for the heavenly Leo-Channing-JT combo.

    1. Name the date and I’m there. I might not save you any avocado, though. (Side note: This meal totally conquered me. It was all so rich that I could only finish 1/3 [took care of all the bacon though, with a little help!], and was completely full for 10 hours straight afterwards. I almost cried that I had no way to salvage the rest [because I was traveling the rest of the day]. I think the guy who cleared my half-full plate wanted to punch me in my tattoo-less face.)

  2. Strong black coffee and world class bacon turn you on? We’re star crossed, you and me kid. Born in different eras and married to other people, but we have a special connection. Don’t fight it, accept it and pass the bacon.

    1. You’re asking me to accept something while passing over my bacon. This does not bode well for our future, Dave.

      I made two stops to get coffee this week, and they were out of my favorite French Roasts at BOTH places (Starbucks and Trader Joe’s), so I’m drinking some cheap knock-off right now and feeling as bitter as this tastes.

  3. Ok that sounds mouth watering oh my god I need it in me right now delicious. I am not going to baconfest but I live/work in Chicago and I’d love to see you/eat bacon/ drink tequila with you! =)

  4. ok,,i’m sooo out of the loop with you gurl,,,
    why are you in seattle? are you doing some kind of go Jules go cross country tour, while out of work???
    Oh,and for the record nothing every WILL compare to Canadian Bacon,,just saying!

    1. I would give the left side of my ‘stache if someone would fund a travel-bloggy-tour!

      I’m afraid we’ll have to agree to disagree on your bacon. Have you ever had NJ’s famous pork roll (a.k.a. Taylor ham)? It’s similar to Canadian bacon, but I don’t care for that, either. It’s why I had to leave the state – they kicked me out.

  5. Seattle? Chicago? Well well well, aren’t we just the world traveler? :p

    I have never been to Seattle, but bacon and coffee are pretty much my raison d’etre, so I might have to hop on that plane with Darla. Meet me in St. Louis? Oh wait, wrong city. I think the bacon has rendered me stupid.

    1. I haven’t been able to hold a single coherent thought since I tried that hey guess what today is Uncle Jesse’s 4th birthday and that means he turns oh man I need new dish towels.

  6. Sorry little piggies — your description could serious make a nonbacon eater like me go to the pink side.

    Next time you go to Seattle, take me with you, Jules!

    PS You rock that red raincoat!

    1. It really was the Justin Timberlake of bacon.

      DONE and thank you, Nnng! The best part is that I was wearing an even brighter shirt UNDER the jacket (neon yellow) when I went to 5 Pt. The next day I wore a green dress. Take THAT, Washington!

  7. Oh, YOU’RE the one wearing the color everyone’s been talking about…! We’ve been tittering into our microbrews over that for days.

    And I’ve been to 5-Point. It is pretty great, though you’ve put it quite a bit more, shall we say, “colorfully” than I.

    1. I have a pig bone to pick with you, sir, for not warning me. I figured if your microbrews were pink, then my outfits could be, too.

      Thought of you when I was posting the eggs benedict pic – an avocado sneak attack!

      I can’t stop thinking about this place. I would get a tattoo if that’s what it took for them to let me back in.

  8. Okay. Don’t smack me, but I’m not a big bacon fan, but the Benedict looks divine! I’ve been meeting up with the kids mid week in Boulder and have been hitting the “Bene’s” HARD…. 🙂
    Happy Spring my friend! It’s so good to see your smiling face!

    1. Thank you, Sus, and likewise! You’re so awesome I can’t even hate for the bacon aversion, and also I want to be nice to you because if someone accidentally serves you bacon, I want to make sure I’m first in line to get it.

      High five for benes!!

    1. Why thank you! 🙂 Ironically, I bought the coat in preparation for the rainy Pacific NW, and the sun came out just as I arrived, and stayed firmly in place until I left. One might say this is the effect I have, but I think some sort of shiny bacon rainbow just settled over Washington and cleared away the clouds.

  9. There is a restaurant in Montrose, Colorado that serves a half-pound bacon burger–half ground beef and half ground crispy bacon. It was tasty but halfway through I thought I could hear my arteries clogging…..

    1. Whoa! Does that taste better than just having the strips of bacon on top of the burger??

      I was telling Darla (She’s a Maineiac) that this meal totally defeated me, but I somehow managed to take care of all the bacon.

  10. The best bacon in the world is ME! Snorts. I’m turning a closed eye to your bacon eating. I’m not turning my back because you might get ideas seeing my cute little tush walk away. XOXO – Bacon

    1. xoxoxoxox!!!! See now I’m a complete hypocrite because while bacon is the most delicious thing in the world, I’d give it up if I had to look in your adorable face while eating it. (I actually was a vegetarian for almost 6 years for that very reason!)

      1. aaww – maybe that’s why my mom and dad don’t eat pork products in front of me. Shaking piggy head – something about that look gets them. But that’s okay. We do eat the other white meat – chicken 🙂 XOXO – Bacon

  11. For some reason an afterthought of a side of bacon makes me laugh. Haha! (Like that). It’s like, “Hmmm, I’ll have the chicken caesar salad please, yes that’s it…oh no wait…and a side of a double half-pound burger with fries.”

    1. Ha! Yes! Like when people get the super-sized Big Mac meal “with a Diet Coke.”

      Not that there was ANYTHING healthy about my meal, apart from the avocado and tomato.

      P.S. – Do they have english muffins in England?? Or are they just muffins? hahaha

      1. We do have english muffins here, and we do just call them muffins, but they’re not actually all that popular, and generally even here when people say muffins they are usually referring to the big cupcake American type ones. Some people will tell you that crumpets are the same thing, but they’re really not at all…hang on a minute, did you change your comment? I’m pretty sure you mentioned crumpets in your comment but now it’s gone! Anyway, crumpets are much nicer than English muffins for eating just on their own toasted with butter, but for the likes of eggs benedict, then the english muffin is definitely the way to go. (Let me know if you want any more information about english baked goods, and why wouldn’t you?)

  12. As an ole farm boy from that neck of the woods. I am familiar with the product and the town it came from, and the original source. I could write stories about the behavior of the pig you eat.

  13. I am in hog heaven just looking at your photos. But the really, really important thing is that you will be 1-1/2 hours away from me next month, so I quick like a bunny clicked on the BaconFest link so I could figure out when we could meet and….I’m going to be out of town from Thurs through Monday. Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

  14. I would take a break from vegetarianism to eat that bacon. Sorry, pigs. Try to be less delicious next time! PS- Your hair is so pretty! You’re making me want to go blonde! 😀

  15. 4 slices of the best bacon in the world and you still made it to goal weight? Was it magical bacon? I’m heading to Seattle…

  16. 2 years ago, I took a trip to Europe with my best friend. We stayed with a former friend of mine in the Czech Republic for 2 weeks. He took us to a little inn far out in the country, in a no-fly zone. Everything was so quiet. The inn looked so unassuming. My friend informed us that said inn had a 5 star chef. I found out just what that meant when I tried the tiramisu that evening.
    I have never tasted anything so fantastically delicious in my life.

  17. You really have done it! You have reached maximum ecstasy possible of any human being and pig! OMG. I bow down to you, Jules. I can’t imagine such deliciousness dripping from the side of my mouth. Eggs Benedict are my most favorite dish but I’ve never had them on avocado. {has a mini orgasm as she writes}. And THEN the bacon. I have no more words.

  18. Thank you for the smiles and a laugh out loud or two, Jules. I love ya, baby. You’re looking great and with all the travel, I assume things are going well for you? I hope so. You’re a wonderful woman and you deserve the best, even bacon related. They should bacon wrap their bacon. How good would that be??

  19. Well this makes me feel like a complete asshole, living in Seattle for 7 years and never venturing into the 5 Point. Sigh. That bacon though!

  20. There’s a baconfest? Radley came home with a Maple* Bacon flavored soda the other day. If I ever get the baby to unlatch, I’ll get you one.

    When I typed “Maple” initially, I accidentally left out the “p.” I almost left it was Male Bacon.

  21. Let’s talk about that picture of you though. You look RADIANT. Look at your eyes! Such a great shot.

    I will take your word for it re: world’s best bacon. I love that you’re going to bacon fest. What good blog fodder!

  22. Your cheekbones are distracting me from all this talk about bacon, which is a very important subject. I’m having a hard time believing this bacon was better than Amish bacon. But if they marinate it…maybe.

    Your coat and jeans are quite the stunning combo! The Pacific Northwest didn’t know what to do with you!

  23. Arrgh…I LIVE in Seattle! I could have taken you to some killer bars and…and…other places. I’m sure there are places other than bars here. And I wear color. Sorry I missed you!

  24. First of all, you look fantastic, second of all, you were so close! I totally would have taken the boat over to have delicious bacon with you. Why does that last part sound so wrong…

  25. Am I the only girl in the world that isn’t a bacon fan? No wait, just read the comments lol *hangs head* You may delete me now if you wish 😦

    Love the pics though and you’re one of my favorite bloggers EVER….*sucking up* :P~

  26. Okay, you’ve totally succeeded in making me hungry for a weighty, glistening strip of bacon. And to think how different your day might have been had you not added expensive-arse bacon to your order! You would have had, like, four extra dollars to adventure in Seattle with!

  27. While in Chicago, you might venture over to Jack Binion’s Steakhouse in Hammond, IN where they serve “Campfire Perch.” This is two potato rounds covered with a bunch of perch filets covered with several strips of bacon and topped off with two fried eggs. A party in your mouth.

  28. Ok, I’ve lived in Oregon for almost two years now and still haven’t gone north to Seattle. Thinking about that bacon melting in my mouth is making the three hour drive sound like nothing.

  29. Dude. This sounds so awesome I’m salivating over here. I’m gonna have to search for a place of this nature over here in my neck of the woods.But if I’m ever in Seattle I’m definitely gonna hit that spot. The fact that you’re a fellow bacon lover and that you’re attending something called BaconFest makes me want to join your Chipmunk Brigade. 🙂 Nice to meet you. 🙂

  30. I’m curious to find out what blog system you have been working with?

    I’m experiencing some small security issues with my latest website and I would like
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