Go Jules Go has been social distancing since Saturday, March 7th. What follows is her personal account from inside an unknown bunker in central Oregon. Please disinfect before -and after- reading.
Day 1
Thank you, Past Jules, for investing in that Scott 12-pack when you normally only buy one roll at a time.
Day 3
Have been introduced to “new” phenomenon called “stress baking.” I contend that I invented stress baking in 1991 when I realized no one could ever love me like peanut butter blossoms could.
Day 6
Local library announced that book return has been closed indefinitely. F$&*. No longer have excuse not to finish, “Memoir Writing for Dummies.”
Day 7
Attempted to explain Zoom to Babs (mother). Will to live beginning to wane.
Day 9
Watched first quarantine episode of “Last Week Tonight.” No live audience. No laugh track. Felt lost.
Day 11
Go Jules Go: Dog Enrichment Toy Inventor and Mastermind. New business venture?
Day 12
Re-watched “Outbreak.” Beginning to worry that all life-long obsessions -chipmunks, beheadings, Patrick Dempsey and pandemics- will prove to be modern society’s downfall.
Day 14
Waved to stranger across the street. Was nice.
Day 15
Sweatpants have become stretch pants.
Day 16
Got Cinemax trial subscription just to watch “Contagion.” Key takeaway: Both Matt Damon and I will always find ways to embrace our Dad bods. (See: Day 19.)
Day 19
Can now rest ice cream bowl atop middle stomach layer. Convenient!
Day 21
Re-counted toilet paper rolls. 6. How did this happen?
Day 23
Quarantine in effect until at least April 30th. My birthday. Plans to sleep in Justin Timberlake’s bushes and make day special now thwarted.
Day 25
Dark days lie ahead. May have to cut Uncle Jesse’s hair myself.
Day 26
OH MY GOD HOW ARE THEY GOING TO FILM THE “AMERICAN IDOL” LIVE SHOWS?!
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Go Jules Go 
I love John Oliver, but agree the show is a little strange now.
I am currently working on my own ice cream stomach shelf…. will keep you posted.
Day 26 (con’t): I’m starting to get used to this whole ‘Late Night from home’ thing, and, well, that scares me.
Almost as much as the fact that my stomach shelf is going from pint to gallon-sized overnight.
Great job, Jules! Thanks!
Reblogged this on One Regular Guy Writing about Food, Exercise and Living Past 100 and commented:
This is my April Fools Day post. I wanted to write one, but in view of what we are all experiencing with ‘stay at home’ orders and the like, it didn’t feel right. Then I happened upon this post by one of my favorite bloggers. I can’t remember reading one of Jules’s posts that didn’t have me laugh out loud. Here, I think she plays an April Fool’s joke on the coronavirus. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Thank you, Tony!! This made my day! I haven’t had the chutzpah to play any real jokes yet today, with, well, YOU KNOW. The ‘Rona and everything going on!
You are welcome, Jules. I loved your post. It isn’t easy to make a global pandemic fun, but you managed it. BTW, I am in the same boat with dog grooming. My dog is overdue…🐶
Love you and your bod and Uncle Jesse
My stomach rolls and I love you, too. I can’t stop eating waffles. …The food! The food! Not the dog!
Well I’ve been the proud owner of an ice cream stomach perch since 2002. Of course now it’s mainly used for my glass of gin. I use a straw so I don’t even have to use my arms. I need to reserve all my energy for fretting and worrying and panicking.
Huh. I didn’t realize there was any worry left. I thought I ate it all. I’ll keep working on it.