If you read last week’s post, you already know that my social media presence lives somewhere between Eepsville and Creepytown, USA. Instead of letting strange lurkers bother us, though, why not capitalize on their incredible…creativity?

I mean, let’s say you had access to all of the search terms that ever led people to your blog. Would you just sit on this information?


You would turn that shiz into t-shirts and sell them in your pretend blog store PRONTO!

And then give your fake paying customers the EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK!

BEHOLD [what happens when you spend too much time on Zazzle]…

Oh, what, you don’t believe me? Have a peek:

But wait, there’s more!

And what I plan to add to my own private collection…


What do you think? Perfect Christmas gifts, no?



  1. Absolutely freaking perfect!! Are you kidding me??? LMAO. I have to look and see what grossness I can find with how people find my blog!! Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Hi! I found you via Pam and have to say I love this post. What a great way to make use of the gift of wacko search terms while quietly promoting yourself! And just in time for the holidays. Brilliant.

    1. So what I’m hearing here is that you have phenomenal taste in bloggers AND fashion with a keen eye for marketing. I know this is moving fast, but would you like to be the general manager of my fake t-shirt store?

      1. Indeed I would. I have experience as a retail store manager back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. No doubt that qualifies me for today’s fast paced faux e-commerce world.

  3. Ooh! Ooh! Can you make me some t-shirts out of these search term gems from this past month on my blog? Hand to god these are real (and they’re spectacular)

    “i put a broom inside my ass”
    “darla snazzerific”
    “tony bennett never calls”

    1. What I love about this is that somehow, whenever I hear your search terms or mine, I still find myself going, “Yeah. This feels right.” Also. I will never forgive myself for not being the first person to put “darla snazzerific” into Google.

    1. Why thank you! Psst…don’t tell anyone that the actual post is about 47 words long [and that this is what happens when I can’t think of anything to write about] šŸ˜‰

  4. Haaaaa! Such a creative, funny take on the rannnndom ass ways people find websites. You left out “My boyfriend took his key back” though!

    1. OMG that and ‘never dating again’ are without a doubt some of my top, recurring search terms. I would turn this entirely into a dating blog if it didn’t mean I had to, you know, date.

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