I heard you like to laugh. At my expense. Sounds like you're ready to take our friendship to the next level. You won't be disappointed. I swear on teeny, tiny baby chipmunks.
Those wee gerbils running WordPress.comThe amazing staff of WordPress, who I’m certain are soon going to put me on Freshly Pressed (i.e., the home page of WordPress), sure do have a sense of humor.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Try updating your settings. Go to Users > Personal, and check off the first box (“Fun: Surprise Me”):
The first thing I noticed about ‘Surprise Me’ mode was a new check box when I went to add a Post:
What differentiates a regular post from a super-awesome one, you ask? In my case,nothing.
The second thing I noticed was on the Site Stats page, a tab to “Humanize” the numbers (click on picture to enlarge):
Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever know what fun facts they have for numbers greater than 178 (and 178 heartfelt thank you’s to “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”, by the way).
Then, today, in the ‘Track My Comments’ section, I saw this:
My guilty pleasure hat fascinator goes off to you, WordPress!
P.S. – To read the hilarious post referenced in the above Comments, click here.
I was just YouTube-searching Anna Graceman, an amazing 11-year-old singer I saw on America’s Got Talent, when I came across this hilarious video. I can only imagine this is her at 5-years-old (does anyone know??).
You really should check out Anna Graceman’s YouTube channel by clicking here. Or, watch her performance from America’s Got Talent right now! (Warning: remove socks first, unless you want them blown off.)
At the risk of divulging too much personal information In the hopes of finding my first stalker, I’d like to share some exciting news with you about my county. Hunterdon County, New Jersey, that is.
I have a theory about how we achieved this impressive embarrassing status. It’s quite simple. The CEO of Nasdaq lives in our town. That’s got to throw off the whole average, right?
New Jersey, the most densely populated state in the U.S., has a reputation for housing a number of the world’s wealthiest, no doubt given our proximity to New York City, and Snooki’s poof. I was sure Russell Simmons’ stomping grounds of Bergen County would make the top of the list. (Click here for a neat WordPress article about stars in Bergen County.)
Does it change anything, you ask? Will I refuse to cross county borders now for fear that I might breathe in fumes of the poor? Will I now get to pronounce the ‘t’ in ‘often’ without feeling douche-y? Look for preschools for my yet-to-be-conceived children? Receive a special membership card? I just got an invitation for a Visa black card yesterday…was that it in disguise?
I’ll keep you posted. For now I’m going to go back to eating Ramen noodles in front of the fan.
Boys and girls, do I have some news for you. Although apparently, much like Blaine Anderson, this has been out for a while.
The Warblers, as in those blue blazer-sporting Dalton Academy crooners you hear on Glee, are really Tufts University‘s Beelzebubs!!So cool, right?!
…What, you mean you never went out of your way to see them perform, and by out of your way I mean really just to a church in the next town over? Well, I have, because let me tell you, the Beelzebubs are THE top college a cappella group in the country. Nay, the world!
Now you might be asking – who the heck are those guys on the show, then?They’re the ones who do the background vocals for Glee, all those ‘boo bop bop bops‘ you hear as the football bullies go slush-happy or Sue Sylvester hatches another evil plan.
Before you start to think it’s all a sham, rest assured that Darren Criss is indeed the killer voice behind the lead vocals, and the Beelzebubs re-record their hit tunes specifically for Glee. Besides, isn’t it super spiffy that they’re using real a cappella kids??
For a fun article on this, including some Warbler vids, click here.
P.S. – Mini Warbler is back, and I think the ‘Bubs should save a place for him in about 12 years!
Someone who is unbelievably perfect; ruins your image on how most people are; makes you believe that most people are unworthy because there is someone like him/her around.
I’d like to expand this definition to include more than just perfect people, but the perfect, and perfectly imperfect, things people put on tape. You know, those things you get from Web Soup-y, Tosh.0-tastic clips. Life ruiners because, well, how can we be expected to do anything productive when we have these to see? Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Watch this.
Lucky Little Gleeks. Photo credit: timessquaregossip.com
I felt the presence of angels on Sunday night, and I think I can die a happy woman now. The only problem with that is I’d miss the remaining episodes of the Oxygen network’s new show, The Glee Project.
Take 1 part Glee, 1 part American Idol and 1 part (preferably the eyes) Darren Criss, and you get my new reason for living.
This show is a dream come true for anyone who ever fantasizes about a) getting on Glee, b) casting the talent on Glee, or c) making Darren Criss uncomfortable with your crazy eyes (click here and skip to minute 8:47). During the first ‘intro’ episode, they narrowed it down from 40,000+ to just 12 contestants, who will now compete for a 7 episode contract on Glee. 7 episodes? You know I’m going to say it: AMAZEBALLS!
I’ve got my eye on the nerdy guy (top right) and the one in dreadlocks, what about you?
P.S. – For some clips, as well as exposure to another fly WordPress blog, click here.
P.P.S. – In case you didn’t know, it’s now 2 days and counting ’til the first NJ Glee concert, so if you’re expecting any other kind of subject matter this week, slushie in the face for you!
My darling husband would like to submit this commercial, which he legitimately just saw on television this morning (is this the price we pay for living in western New Jersey? Or the reward?), for your guilty pleasure consideration, particularly, the last 5 seconds.
Hint: it gets funnier the more times you watch it.
Well, I want to, I really, really do. I mean, come on. Nothing says guilty pleasure like a 29-year-old staying up way past her bedtime -not to mention sitting through full, MTV-length commercials- to watch the cast of Jackass don laser boners.
Master Thespians
But I fear I’m becoming too predictable. So, without further ado, I present to you:
Mini Warbler! This kid even got Darren Criss‘s attention via Twitter! (All right, all right. This was pretty predictable. I can’t help myself.)
And click here to check out a hilarious clip of the Gleeks hanging out backstage on the “Glee Live” tour. One week and two days ’til they come to Jersey! Is anyone going to see Darren Criss perform solo at Irving Plaza on June 15th???
"Love, you forgot the front of your dress. Here, we'll distract them with the sequin hearts on ours."
TLC’s new show, “My Big, Fat Gypsy Wedding” is breathtaking (as in, “your baby is breathtaking”). The other night I insisted my husband record the first two episodes, mostly because I didn’t know what a modern-day gypsy was, but also because they had British and Irish accents.
Last night, for the better part of each hour-long show, I sat there shaking my head with my mouth agape, unable to make sense of things. It was such a mish-mash of cultures that my head was spinning. If you take 1 part hippie, 1 part traveling circus and 1 part Catholicism, you might have something resembling a modern-day gypsy.
The show hones in on the young gypsy girls, whose lives revolve around two major milestones: at age 8, communion, and around age 16, marriage. They look forward to these two events the way I dream of retiring at 30, and their willingness -fervent desire, even- to wear dresses that are twice their size and weight for these occasions is seemingly sincere. A favorite gypsy dress designer (who referred to the gypsies as “travelers”) had the most inside scoop, and described the lifestyle with a mixture of skepticism and guarded fascination. The girls design their dream dresses from the time they can walk, she says, each one wanting the biggest.
I will never forget the image of an 8-year-old gypsy girl waddling into church for her communion, suffocating under 70 pounds of tulle, while ‘regular’ girls in simple white cotton dresses gawk and giggle. More memorable is the after-party, where young gypsy children dress in what can only be described as hoochie wear, dance provocatively, and use moves they say they learned from Beyonce.
After seeing that picture, you might be surprised to hear that single gypsy girls aren’t permitted to wander around alone, or if they do, risk being seen as unsavory. Sex before marriage is also off-limits, so the outfits the tweens and teens wear is all the more baffling.
Female gypsies describe the mating ritual as ‘grabbing,’ where the boys pull the girls and ask for a kiss. If the girls refuse, the boys twist their arms, literally, until they oblige. If the immaturity of this practice doesn’t prove that they’re not yet ready for marriage, watching a 16-year-old giggle through the entirety of her vows certainly will.
Married girls are expected to leave their families for the first time, to live in a mobile home with their husbands. The men go out and make the money while the girls gladly stay behind to cook and clean. The families help each other out, they say, and try to keep off the radar, something which is becoming increasingly difficult as they’re forced to take permanent homes which the government then later tears down, a sad reality with far too little explanation. (When asked why they were bulldozing his home, a young gypsy boy responded simply, “They don’t like gypsies.”)
Teeny tiny guilty pleasure nubbins, it’s been a while -too long, I know, I hear your desperate cries- since I’ve posted, so I thought: what better way to make it up to you than to share some of the MANY guilty pleasures I’ve indulged in since last week (like how Blaine L-O-V-E-S Kurt! HELLO! Totally watched that scene 5 10 times, what about you??)!?!
And it’s all happening RIGHT NOW!
It is so much better than finally painting the living room ceiling to cover up where your husband fell
Your American Idol, Scotty McCreery
through [from the attic] almost 1 year ago (and you wonder where I’ve been)!
It is massively sweeter than ordering Mexican food and trying to eat it all with 1 teaspoon of sour cream and ZERO guacamole!!
And, you might never forgive me for this, but it is without a doubt phat-er than watching Alfred E. Neuman become the next American Idol!!!
This week’s Guilty Flavor of the Week goes to…
Keebler Fudge Shoppe Cheesecake Middles!
"Do NOT buy these!"
Actually, I really AM kidding about this. I wish I wasn’t –you know how I love those elves– but these are DISGUSTING. It was too good to be true, I suppose.
This week’s REAL Guilty Flavor(s) of the Week(s) goes to:
You be the judge!!!
1.) How about this Colbert Report credit roll? Look at the Gaffer name!
I can’t remember exactly what a Gaffer is, but I’m fairly certain it doesn’t warrant a name regal enough to…well, do anything but gaff things.
2.) Or maybe this episode of HGTV’s Income Property?
Does anyone else see something wrong with this rental apartment bathroom art?? But at least it answers the age-old question, how do aliens get off?
3.) I see. You need something more. Well, okay. Here you go: Robert Pattinson SINGING!
Go Jules Go 