Family Ties, Just For Fun

Dear Aunt and Uncle: You Didn’t Like That Wall Anyway, Right?

There’s something you should know about me.

I mean, just something I want to warn you about, should we ever vacation together.

I like to do things.

Come back! I like to do things, too!
Come back! I like to do things, too!

I’m not the Energizer bunny or anything, but to me, going on trips is more synonymous with adventure than relaxation. If you take me to the beach, I’m going to try to book one of those wave runner or zip lining excursions. If you take me to the city, I’m going to look up event calendars and comedy clubs.

And if you take me out to dinner after all of this doing of things, I’m going to drink. A lot.

I know everyone says they have great taste and a sense of humor, but seriously. My taste is phenomenal.
I know everyone says they have great taste and a sense of humor, but seriously. My taste is phenomenal.

And after I drink a lot, I might look around and think, “That wall should be blue. I mean, like a really classy, Nautica-looking navy blue.”

And before you know it, I’ll be painting your vacation home.

This is precisely what happened when first Hub, Peppermeister, and I, stayed in my aunt and uncle’s summer house in Long Island last week.

“Are you sure you want to PAINT on your vacation?” Peppermeister asked.

“It’ll be done before you wake up.”

“I don’t know why I asked.”






I may have made a few other adjustments…

...bought candles and a of couple K's, painting one to match the new wall...
…Bought candles and a of couple K’s (my aunt and uncle’s names both start with K), painting one to match the new wall…
...and turned some of their trivets into a cool coffee table centerpiece. Oh and let's not forget the pillows, table runner and flowers! TA DA!
…turned some of their trivets into a cool coffee table centerpiece. Oh and let’s not forget the new pillows, table runner and flowers…
...and swapped the gray curtains with a spare bedroom's bright, cheery, gold curtains. TA DA!
…and swapped the gray curtains with a spare bedroom’s bright, cheery, gold curtains. TA DA!

So what do my aunt and uncle think of my impromptu makeover?

Good question.

I haven’t heard from them in days.

What kind of vacationer are you? Less is more or go-go-go? (For more of my Long Island adventures, check out how I almost died!)

Disclaimer: Though my aunt and uncle own it now, this is an old family home, and I checked with my parents before painting. It’s not as funny with the disclaimer, is it? I should’ve just let you think I was a presumptuous asshat. Dammit.



My New Living Room (or, How I Found Out Whitney Houston Died)

With an impending tax return about to pad my wallet, I started looking for living room furniture in January. We’d been in our house almost two years, and it seemed high time to replace the folding table with something a tad more permanent.

I started with the basics, leaning towards country cottage meets shabby-chic. A rug, TV and TV stand:

Yes. There WAS a time when I thought those curtains were a good idea.
A guilty pleasure house staple.

Then I found out we’d be getting significantly less than I thought we would from Uncle Sam (thanks to Peppermeister‘s new job not taking out the appropriate amount), so I had to switch tactics midstream.

It took weeks of perseverance, but eventually I found this Pottery Barn coffee table on Craigslist for a steal (a steal I tell you! When we went to pick it up, an attractive, somewhat scraggly, 30-something-year-old ginger gentleman was waiting in his garage. He lived in a very posh development on a golf course, but there was an air of deprivation about him. We found out it was his parents’ house, and he was storing the coffee table there because of the extra room. We immediately convinced ourselves the darkest fate had befallen him; either he was the father of Snooki’s unborn child, or he was newly divorced and had to sell his furniture to pay alimony. Our glee at finding such a bargain quickly turned to awkwardness and sympathy. And why yes, thank you, this is my longest parenthetical aside of all time):

Then, I found this end table and lamp from HomeGoods:

I wasn’t sure either of them were working, until, on Sunday, February 12th, I put them to the ultimate test…

Uncle Jesse needs to get a life.

Finally, I handed my phone to Peppermeister and asked him to take a picture of me – to confirm that the living room matched my style champagne. I grinned, glass raised.

Peppermeister fussed with my cell phone for a moment. “Say, ‘Whitney Houston just died!'” he cried.

My grin dropped and I giggled uncertainly. “Wait, what?”

He laughed cackled at my dismay.

“Did she really die?” I asked, laughing in the way people do at funerals and at their boss’s jokes.

“Yes!” he replied, trying to catch my reaction on camera:

On the upside, the final product is delightful:

Except for those chairs. Those chairs have got to go. Too bad I'm out of money.

Do you think I still love my husband? What’s your favorite Whitney Houston song?

P.S. – If this post left a bad taste in your mouth, you might want to check out this palate cleanser (straight men, click here instead).