You know that feeling where you start to wonder if maybe you’ve taken something too far?
Sometimes I wonder if my fondness for booze has overshadowed the real me. The genuine Jules. You know, the one who also enjoys quality time with friends and family hats.
Nah. Because if that were true, if I ceased embracing my inner lush, I never would have heard from Jennifer, creator of Vivajennz and…
…wait for it…
…THE WINE PURSE.
I know. I can’t even. And now YOU can’t even, too – because Vivajennz sent me one of these bad boys gals to give away!
To enter to win this reason for living, leave a comment below describing your most ingenious idea for concealing alcohol.
And don’t forget to check out more VivaJennz creations at VIVAJENNZ.COM!
Here are some ideas to help get the creative fermented grape juices flowing.
Entries accepted through midnight EST, Monday, October 26, 2015. And since today is Babs’ (my mom) birthday, we’ll let her pick the winner, to be announced Wednesday, October 28, 2015.
Cheers!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Go Jules Go 
Jules, I don’t know what to say but I think you might be my new girl crush!! I LOVE it! Cheers! Jennifer
Sent from my iPhone
Jennifer!!! Please let me know when you are available to toast over our mutual feelings. I will bring the messenger bag.
Saw this once in a novelty catalogue (maybe Johnson Smith… too many flask hits to recall correctly). It was a plastic half of a sandwich with a teeth mark “bite” in the center of it, and the hole was plugged up with a small rubber stopper. Looks like you are chomping on a ‘sammich’ when in fact you are boozing incognito. Neat-o or what?
Ooooh. I love sammiches almost as much as I love hiding functional alcoholism!
Well, most importantly……HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!! Er, Babs. Are you sure she’s 29? I would say she doesn’t look a day over 26. (See, this is why in her favorite daughter, Jules). 😉
Ok, as to this wine purse….I guess I’ll throw my hat in the ring for it. I really need to up my game on this whole drinking thing. I’ve been slacking lately. Damn baby cramping my style!
As to a hidden booze story….the only one I can think of at the moment is when I made Amaretto sours and snuck them into the movie theater when Thoughtsy and I saw Hunger Games. I pretty much just brought a little thermos and poured it into cups once it got dark, so it wasn’t too sneaky.
You are brilliant. Amaretto sours in a movie theater! Why didn’t I think of that?
This comment may or may not be awarded extra points (depends on Babs, but you’ve set it up nicely to win her favor) given its bloggy nature.
We’ve missed you in the lampshade-wearing, chandelier-swinging, regret-filled community, Ninja Snaps!
Yeah, what is WITH that whole avoiding-alcohol-to-protect-a-precious-infant thing, Misty? Some people!
I know Peg! I’m soooo selfish. I guess that’s why I need this purse, right? 😉
OHHH! For our upcoming Disney cruise, you are not allowed to bring liquor anymore, so I bought some of those reusable baby food pouches, and a tiny funnel, to fill them with vodka. Nobody will check those (and Megan doesn’t use them anymore, so no way a baby will drink my vodka).
Your level of dedication brings a tear to my eye. (Or that might be my new way of disguising vodka. I’ll never tell.)
OMG… I. NEED. THIS. ASAP. It has my name written all over it;-)
soo… how do I hide and sneak fermented grape juice? Once I just brought my favorite coffee cup and poured wine in it and told everyone it is grape juice. I guess I am not THAT sneaky with wine, but I do like the idea of those party beer hats, but that’s not super sneaky either. haha
oh and happy birthday babs!
Sneakin’ in a happy birthday wish at the end to our spirited (see what I did there?) judge, just like we’re all sneakin’ booze in our coffee cups. Well done, Lisa!
I guessI can be sneaky after all;-) (also, my favorite cup says: I CAN’T EVEN. so perfect match;-))
thye hollow book at the law firm I worked for–I was the “librarian”
If it was the hallowed book to boot, I’ll be really impressed.
I do not know what my sentence said–maybe I was a drunk librarian
Just take a regular plastic water bottle – any brand would do, probably, pour out the water, and fill with vodka. You don’t even have to hide when you’re drinking.
Ice tea bottles would work for tequila or whiskey, but then you have to be careful to match the color.
You and I have even more in common than I thought.
…just don’t leave it on the counter when you leave cause your baby momma will come in and grab it to mix with formula and inadvertently get your 18 month old daughter sauced beyond the legal limit (of most adults). Then you’ll wind up on the local news after being jailed for domestic abuse and ultimately need counseling for “communication issues”. The lesson here is to obviously decide ahead of time on a safe word to be written on all upcycled water-vodka bottles or never have children. The End.
This method obviously works best if you don’t have to share the bottle with anyone. And this is probably yet another reason why doctors recommend breastfeeding over formula.
Hmm….well, I’m not that brilliant at hiding. I just fill up a coffee mug. I do remember once sneaking my gram’s manischewitz wine and filling up a thermos. Sat out on the porch, took one sip and spit it out immediately. Good times.
At last, confirmation of what we alllll knew was in that plaid coffee cup!
Happy Birthday, Babs! I’ve often thought of putting redbull and vodka in a camelback as I go to work conventions. It would solve the need to buy coffee and the desire to drink–all while on the go and not paying Javitz prices!
People actually did that at Santacon in NYC. Right in Times Square, cops abound. It was magical.
I hid my beer in soda cans when I would go shopping, so I could sip on it. lol
Kudos for going the extra mile, Mary! I don’t know if I’d have the patience to dump the soda and then slowly pour something else fizzy back into the can. And after the first couple, things would really get hairy.
I actually really shouldn’t win this because I don’t drink. (Yes, I am aware of the irony).
But just think, if you gave the purse away AND offered to be the designated driver, someone would owe you their firstborn.
Thanks but I have two of my own already.
1) Happy (welcome to Medicare) Birthday Babs! You don’t look a day over 56 – have I told you that lately?
2) I want to know why this prime opportunity came YOUR way, Jules, when there are other bloggers out here who also might want to give away and get cool stuff? Hmmm?
3) My plan is to have all the fat liposuction-ed out of my left, upper arm. This creates an (unfortunately) roomy compartment that will then be fitted with an internal, sterilize, polypropylene bag with a seal-able hole the size of a straw located right above the inside elbow. Special, flexible straws will be snapped and locked into place in the hole for loading and unloading (possibly) adult beverages whenever the mood strikes.
Peg-Co engineers are hard at work on the patent for the Flab Bag O Fun, and assure me they will soon lick the pesky recurring infection issues that have been keeping us from bringing this world-changing invention to market.
Yes, but will the Flab Bag-O-Fun allow for the chance to customize? I suppose monograms would be overkill, but a snappy saying (“Let’s Get Ready to Stumble!” or “Liquor: Making Coffee Fun Again”) would really add some flare to that flab.
Would you like a job moonlighting on Peg-Co’s Snappy Saying Dept? We’re always looking for fresh talent.
Crazy I never hid booze before but the whole idea sounds fun. The purse looks great but not for me.
Jennifer does make a very masculine messenger bag, which, bonus, holds even more booze than the purse!
Important consideration.
The portable fruit pouches work everytime…everytime!
I’m just so impressed. Truly.
We have an annual celebration in my town every year (der, annual!) in the spring. It’s usually a huge booze-fest for many and I have, many times, had to sneak alcohol into events because I’m too cheap to buy my own when the prices are jacked up. I’ve hidden full sized bottles of alcohol in purses – including a 2 liter plastic jug (think soda bottle) of wine spritz. Also have used water bottles, flasks, and even carried a full 6-pack of Smirnoff Ice (in bottles!) in my sweet little purse.
I’ve also used my heart condition – and the strapped-on heart rate monitor courtesy of the hospital – as a reason to carry that “water” bottle into events.
What can I say? I’m all class.
*Disclaimer – SandyLand has since grown up since many of these occasions. :p
Bra-VO, Sandy!! Most people feel guilty after drinking, but I think you have the better idea – make everyone else feel guilty in order to smuggle the goods!
@SandyLand, I think seriously you may win! When you resort to a medical condition…that’s serious business! Cheers!
Hahaha. Yeah, it takes all kinds, eh? (<– That's the Canadian in me.)
Oh girl, I also own the “conceal your alcohol in a tampon” box, a whole bunch of them because you can literally get away with having a tampon (even tho it looks super long and unreal) but to men, they totally freak out and scoot you right along… HA! This purse tho, its so ridiculous, and IDEAL!! Riiiiiiiiiiiiight? This is not just something I want, but I NEED THIS in my life, okay!? You and me both, sugah!!! Good luck to all, and CHEERS!!! to you!
I just saw a flask that said, “Booze is my spirit animal” – but I think you might be mine!! (I’d high five you, but I don’t want to spill my drink.)
Reblogged this on New Hampshire Nana.
You are just so funny Jules, had to share and reblog thank you for your wit and this blog!!! It uplifts me!
Thank you so much, Deborah! I especially like that this post seems to do for you what lame motivational posters do for people who don’t drink.
Personallly, I believe in full disclosure. I take my gallon jugs of hooch out wherever I weave.
My 6th grade science teacher told us that his doctor insisted that he drink Listerine at regular intervals throughout the day. An Rx he adhered to religiously. Of course, if I taught school, I too, would drink havily.
Teachers, on the whole, are definitely the biggest lushes I know. Although they taught me not to generalize, so maybe I take that back.
In college, I accidentally bought a maternity tank top. It was slightly more flowy than the non-maternity version, and a little long. On more than one occasion, I’ve slipped bottles into my back pockets, concealed by my flowy shirt, and walked into concerts–complete with security pat down. Apparently they don’t grab your ass for legal reasons.
Now that is what I call making hard lemonade out of lemons.