I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Chipmunks.

I’m losing it. (Louise, expect a call any day now.)

Help me.

The proof is in this post, a.k.a., The Worst Post Ever.

Last night, I got a magical email from someone regarding evidence that a Mini Me exists in this otherwise colorless, desolate, mustache-deprived world.

For the first time since I saw this, I felt complete.

And yet.


I don’t know how it happened, except I think I do, and it involves vodka-soaked cherries.

I deleted the email! Or I must have, because it’s no where to be found. (Thank my lucky Chipmunks Peppermeister saw it before it disappeared, otherwise I would think I made the whole thing up.) I checked every folder, and my phone, then every folder again, then wept into my coffee, then wrote this post, to:

1) Ask the mother of the most awesome child in the universe if she can kindly resend the email to the biggest nincompoop on the planet, and,

But then there is the more fun.

2) Warn you. Everything they say about blondes is true, especially Clairol-enhanced blondes like me. Expect posts about purses that double as dog carriers and/or alien abductions any day now.

Don’t be a cotton-headed ninnymuggins like me and forget to enter the latest mustache glasses giveaway (deadline: Thursday, July 19, 2012, 12pm EST)!

P.S. – You guys are seriously like adorable, little, chubby-cheeked miracles. My comments and inbox are alight with your splendor. So much so that I think I must launch a weekly feature for the rest of the summer to prove it. Stay tuned. Heck, it can only go up from here.

Photo credit (chipmunk)

48 responses to “DOH!

  1. I, personally, prefer to match moustaches from my strands when they are in a pony tail – I feel like the end result is more subtle and life like. I think.

    • Nancy, I’m so glad you brought this up. You are so right. I feel like I’ve learned a lot since I took that picture last summer, and I’m not sure I would ever attempt a pony-less mustache again.

  2. you are a funny chipmunk, errrr…girl……..chipgirl?

  3. DOGS in PURSES?? Oh, man, that’s wild!

  4. I hate it when I lose stuff! I have nightmares about it…
    Still working on yesterday’s assignment…

  5. I’m adding ninnymuggins to my list of words I like, such as doink (a unit of measurement) and smaktalk (brings to mind strong, yet suitably sarcastic).

    • You use “doink” as a unit of measurement? It’s perfect! Sadly I can’t take credit for “cotton-headed ninnymuggins” – it’s from “Elf” with Will Ferrell (one of the best holiday movies EVER)!

  6. A Mini You, I have to see this! I hope you rediscover your lost proof and share this delightful creature with us. P.S. Vodka soaked cherries? Yes please!

    • Oh, Rian, she was perfect. But I haven’t heard from her mom again – GAH! It’s like a little part of me I didn’t know existed three days ago has died.

      Ooh, and I just got cherry liquor to jazz things up in my vodka-fresh cherries-juice cocktail! Is it 5 o’clock yet? Oh wait, that’s how I got into this mess in the first place…

  7. excuse me, i have to consult the Chipmunk Collegiate Dictionary, 7thEdition…
    nannygoat…nimrod…ah, here we are…ninnymuggins…hey, how did your picture get in here?????

  8. First off, this is hardly The Worst Post Ever. Secondly, I hope you find that picture. A mini-Jules would be absolutely priceless (especially if she rocks a faux-stache)! Third, vodka-soaked cherries? Sign me up!

    • LOL Thanks, Jess! I really do think this post should just say “FAIL” on top. Still no word from mini me’s mom. I feel so empty inside. I guess I could fill that space with more vodka-soaked cherries, but they’ve already turned against me once…

  9. theres a kid out there somewhere wearing a mustached monacle and swigging champagne? good god, call the chipmunk squad. thank god for le pep!!!

  10. Haha! You’re blogger of the week on Byronic man. Stopped in to say hello. Much deserved!

  11. Jeez Jules, even when you’re not making any sense you’re a scream. It’s a gift, is what it is.

  12. I’m not sure what you’re talking about here, but I love everything you write anyway.

    • That makes this post like a DOUBLE Doh!, which I think we can all agree is like a double rainbow and everything is going to work out.

      But you are way too nice. LOL I actually thought about going back and clarifying this post after I published it, but as I declared it the worst post in the world upfront, I feel like that would be cheating. So, no, Jules! Paws off! (I might change my name to No Jules No, though.)

    • Oh! And, to explain: Basically someone I don’t know emailed me, said they found my blog and their daughter was my Mini Me; she included a picture. I accidentally deleted the email in my attempt to clean up my inbox (er, and then there was the vodka. Yes. That may have had something to do with it) and I have no way of getting in touch with her other than through this blog plea!

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  14. In the period of time where i did not know about your blog that i like to call the dark (as in brunette) ages, i heard that song by darren criss (I didn’t of course know at the time that he was your second husband). It was like a thousand double rainbows filled my heart and it was if by looking at the video of him playing piano i all of a sudden had all of lifes questions answered for me. And then i replayed it about 10 times while andré shook his head and put his headphones on. He was obviously overwhelmed by how amazing the performance was and putting on headphones so that he could find the video and listen to it closer with his headphones on.

    Anywho, i can’t wait to see your mini me!

    • Yes. Erin. You get it. You get me. Peppermeister had the nerve to say some weirdo on a commercial last night looked like Second Hub, and I was -to put it mildly- grossly offended. As if that kind of perfection can be duplicated! (Then again, if Byronic Man and I are the same person… LOL ;))

      I still haven’t heard from the mom of Mini Me! I feel so lost in this mini me-less world.

  15. So, I’m obviously already following you, but for some reason it won’t let me subscribe. What kind of crazy nonsense is that! 😦

  16. What just happened, Jules? I’m totally lost and way more clueless than you can possibly claim to be. I hope all is well and I don’t need to send in the Chipmunk reserve squad to help you through this crisis.

  17. Pingback: Summer Is Hot and So Are You – Issue #1 | Go Jules Go

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