Chipmunks Forever, Giveaway Junkie, Just For Fun

July ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway!

There’s no stopping this much awesome.

Ch-ch-ch Chia Pets Chipmunks!

It’s official. I’m addicted to giveaways. I had so much fun with last month’s mustache glasses giveaway, that I’m planning to do this on the regular!


If you’re interested, entering is as easy as falling in love with a second spouse:

In the comments section below, tell me what one famous person, dead or alive, you’d like trapped on a deserted island with you (and why).

I’ll  choose a favorite and make their wildest dreams come true on Friday, July 20, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses (by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs.

Don’t think that’s amazing?

Just ask last month’s winner, Louise, from dearchristiancounselor!

“I am now happily communing with the chipmunks! Sometimes it helps to go incognito. All the chirping and twitching can make me feel a little NUTS.”

I know. She’s great.

Deadline: 12pm noon EST, Thursday, July 19, 2012.

Print that’s as fine as some people think Channing Tatum is, but, really? What kind of relationship could you possibly have? Especially if he’s at the gym all day? And can he play the guitar or sing? I don’t think so! Get off my deserted island, Abs McIsActingReallyYourCalling! (Please refer to Second Husband and his nerdy tweets to understand my trapped-on-a-deserted-island tastes.) 

Oh right, the Fine Print: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to enter, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a comment in the comments section below, you can enter via email: Julie(dot)Davidoski(at)yahoo(dot)com. One submission per person.

As a reminder, I am no way affiliated with this company (SunStaches). I’m just a giveaway junkie. Hey now. You just leave the judging to me.

And I judge that I love you.

133 thoughts on “July ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway!”

  1. Omigosh! I love these ‘staches, and they are definitely all the rage. I know I have won in the past, but I don’t think it counts since husband, son and son’s friends devoured all goodies leaving me a photo of Uncle Jesse. Just saying. Okay. This is going to sound crazy but if I could be trapped on a dessert island with a famous person, I’d pick Madonna. Yup. Madge and I would get on famously. I have always known we’d be best friends, if only she knew I was alive. I’m a craft critter so I’d make her a fancy corset out of shells and kelp. We could talk Kabbalah together under a shady palm tree, and we could dance in the sand whenever she broke into song. Which, I figure, would be all the time. So, yeah, I’m picking a girl. But you know, she’s pretty open-minded so I figure we’d figure something out.

    1. Oooh, Renee, so many good reasons. I think the two of you would be a force to be reckoned with. But the real question is – do you think you could get her NY accent back, or can you live with that crazy hybrid accent?

      Favorite Madge song: GO!

  2. Oh my god….the stache glasses, I dream about the stache glasses. I’m so excited it’s clouding my ability to think clearly….crap nugget! Um, okay..Lord Voldemort. Because we could spend the time making horcruxes and he can probably whip up some magic food and he can fly.

    I’ve lost, haven’t I?

    1. Ha! Speaker, THE [Shades] BOOKS ARE GETTING TO YOU. Crap nugget! Maybe you will have to stop after #2. Speaking of horcruxes, I’m pretty sure I gave away a piece of my soul with each sentence of those books. We’ve both lost.

      But the contest is still anyone’s game! 😉

  3. Love love love the ‘staches. I think a good ‘stache makes everyone look REALLY GOOD!!

    So yeah, if I were stuck on a deserted island..Hell, I’d pick YOU, Jules. Then you wouldn’t have to have all these giveaways online….you could just make me a coconut bra (to give-away to me) and we could hula around a fire and sip coconut-mango-pineapple drinks and blog in the sand and hope that our men would rescue us. And if not, then we could MacGyver ourselves a great idea and figure out how to get back to dry land.

    1. That’s so funny . . . I was gonna say Jules as well. But only because I would love to just sit and chat with her and I think she would constantly make me laugh. Most fun deserted island EVER! 🙂

      1. Oh Sandy. Oh Misty. You are too good to me, both of you.

        Misty, I am going to have to bring my A game to NYC. I swear I’m not that funny in person. I Google all of my jokes.

        But I’m pretty sure I could whip up a coconut bra that would make Betsy Johnson proud.

  4. The first question is what would you do on the island with this famous person? probably nothing…. so I would pick someone HILARIOUS so i could sit in the sand and laugh and laugh and laugh… and laugh. Now who is a famous comedian, Jack Black? meh not the best beach bod. Adam Sandler? His last name kind of fits Sandler sand-handler? anyone? ok ok ok I got it (drumroll please) Aziz Ansari… have you seen his latest commercial I am literally laughing just thinking about it… . Really on a beach full of nothing with no one around what more could you ask for hten a little comic relief

    1. Oh, you’re so right! I based my husband #1 selection solely on his ability to make me laugh on a consistent basis. Well, that and his compliment-giving prowess.

      Aziz Ansari is hysterical!

  5. I agree about Channing Tatum. I just don’t get it. Meh.

    Ok, I have thought about this long and hard, Jules. Well, at least for the last 3 minutes anyway . . . and at first I was just going to say YOU because I would want someone there who was all fun and funky and that I could chat with and have a grand ole time . . . but I didn’t want you to think I was just trying to kiss your butt again, so . . .


    Yep, but not old fat drug addicted Elvis. I would want young, sexy, fun, hippy Elvis (that’s hippy because of his hips, not hippie like psychedelic tie-dyed patchouli smelling hippie). I think that not only would he be delightful to look at, but he would be so much fun to hang out with. He seemed like he was the wild and crazy type who would like to just let it all loose.

    Oh, and did you ever read the interview of Cybill Shepherd where she talks about her relationship with him? Yeah, I’m not gonna dive into the gutter on your blog, but let’s just say that he was a good time all around and leave it there, m-kay?

    But yeah, the big E. Thank ya . . . thank ya very much!

    1. Misty, I’m glad you took the time to think this through, because aside from selecting my business card design, is there a more important decision in life?

      I never read that interview, but now I MUST. I think these are all very legitimate reasons for deserted island companion selectage. (Yes. Selectage.) But fat Elvis might have brought some delicious sandwiches along.

      (BTW I owe you an email re: Wii games!)

      1. Yeah, but old Elvis would bogart all the food on the island. Young Elvis, besides being sexy as hell, is also svelt and would need less food to survive. It’s all about survival, girl. Well, survival and sexiness, of course!

        1. LOL Good point. BTW, can you imagine a conversation with Channing?
          “Hey, babe, I benchpressed 250 today.”
          “Is that good?”
          “Is that good? It’s only 50 pounds more than Brad Pitt can do! HOO-AH. *lifts up shirt* …Babe? Why aren’t you looking at my abs? What are you always reading?”
          “Misty’s blog.”
          “Is that porn?”
          Then the conversation ends because his mouth is full of Clif bars.

          1. Wait, have you MET Channing Tatem? Because that sounds suspiciously like a conversation that has actually occured between him and some mustachioed chipmunk enthusiast. Hmmmm.

            Also, I doubt he can even read, so I imagine anything he looks at online IS probably porn. And there is a porn star named Misty, so that is probably an accurate statement anyway. True story. 😦

  6. I kinda wanna say the cast of Swiss Family Robinson because they make AMAZING tree houses. But I need someone super crazy funny to keep me entertained. Can YOU be adopted by the Swiss Family Robinson and live with us in our amazing tree house and we will be VERY WITTY all the time? KTHX!

    1. Aw shucks! Thanks! And I bet there will be a tree house, too! You know, eventually. If we’re not dead from starvation or yellow fever or something.

  7. He’s not famous, so this is lame, but every night when I lay beside him, I wish I could hold him forever.

    My husband.

    Morning Jules! I hope you’re well!

    1. El, I hope you printed this out for your hub. Can you spell b-o-n-u-s p-o-i-n-t-s?!

      Other than ‘running’ on too little sleep, and it being Monday, I’m well! I hope you are, too 🙂

  8. I would say Kurt Vonnegut.

    Lame, I know. Authors are such elusive people sometimes – but I feel like he survived the war and fire bombing in Dresden and even mouthed off to the Germans, making him an excellent companion just in case said deserted island happened to not be so deserted and actually be home to some sort of Cannibalistic tribe.

    Furthermore, considering he quipped the words ‘Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God’ I believe he would make the best a bad situation and we would have an absolute riot!

    1. Nancy, not lame at all! So far you’re the only person who’s prepared for a Cannibalistic tribe, and frankly, I’m beginning to think everyone else is screwed.

      1. If Silence of the Lambs taught me anything (either than to listen to your parents when they tell you not to watch something when you’re too young), its to ALWAYS been prepared for Cannibals

    2. In a bit of shameless self promotion… there is a bit of Vonnegut love flying around my blog at the moment Nancy. I just finished the biography. But seriously I’m here to enter the contest below. This was just a coinkidink.

  9. David Lynch. To share a nice black “David Lynch Signature Cup” in a deserted island coffee shop. Oh, what absurdity!

    1. Ha ha Karin! Excellent. Coconut milk is gross.

      Apparently I haven’t watched a lot of David Lynch. I’m on YouTube right now cracking up at the “Quitting Smoking” video.

  10. This begs the question… are there actually an deserted islands out there or has pretty much everything been mapped out at this point? But if I were to land on one, well of course, I’d have to pick Mary Ann from the Gilligan’s Island show. This decision is strictly based on her experience in these situations and her ability to live on nothing but bananas… and nothing to do with those skimpy little shorts she always wore.

    1. Very good point! We are suspending disbelief in every conceivable way here, I’d reckon. (Can people from NJ reckon? Wait, we’re suspending disbelief. In that case, I am also a supermodel who can eat anything without gaining weight.)

      I am sure Mary Ann and her shorts are very flattered, but just remember, it’s not a lot of material if you ever need her to fashion a tourniquet because you were trying to show off your makeshift machete.

  11. I think I’d pick Tina Fey for a few reasons:
    1) I’ve heard Tina is fond of yoga, which I also am (though I am awful). This is mostly good because I think we’d both just do some poses and meditate and enter into zen states when panic was starting to overtake us. No freak outs on this island!
    2) She’s a funny lady. This would be nice because the only thing better than laughing when you’re stranded on a desert island is food and shelter, but those are much harder to ensure than humor. Chortles would fill the air until the day we starved!
    3) Now, no offense, but Tina Fey, despite being skilled at many things, is probably one of the few people with less hands on construction and general knowledge skills than me. I don’t believe in succeeding as a team so much as succeeding on a personal level by doing better than whoever I’m working with, so having a partner in crime that made me seem less useless would greatly boost my morale.

    1. No one can argue with the awesomeness that is Tiny Fey, nor your very astute reasoning for selecting her company. You can do yoga anywhere, so that will keep you busy when you’re not laughing or showing off your superior carpentry skills. Also, I think she’s overdue for another book, so if you can help her get that going, I’d offer at least 7 coconuts and one conch shell for the manuscript. But you shouldn’t trust me in matters of trade because I will try to convince you that the conch shell actually serves a survival purpose and it does not.

  12. I think things would go well if I was trapped on a deserted island with Calvin. (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) Of course, it might be best if Hobbes gets to come along as well but … who knows? Maybe, he just didn’t survive the plane crash that put us on the island. Either way, Calvin and I would make an awesome pair. We could build forts out of palm fronds and bomb each other with coconuts and have all kinds of adventures until we are rescued by something wonderful like Matthew McConaughey (in character as Magic Mike). Calvin might not be impressed by this but he can enter the contest too if he would like to have an alternate ending and/or his own ‘stache glasses.

    1. Ooh you’re the first person to pick a cartoon character, I think! I also enjoyed your rescue scenario, because why stop at dream deserted island companion? (Seriously.)

      I eagerly await Calvin’s jealous entry/thinly veiled response to you.

  13. My first incilnation is to pick you, Jules. But I want to win this competition fair and square so I will not try to sway you by massaging your ego. (Even though I think we would rock it out on a desert island, sharing childhood stories and putting each other’s hair in side ponies. That is, if we had tiny boxes of wine on our person at some point before we ended up on the island. I always keep a box in my purse, don’t you?)

    So for my real answer I submit to you…the one and only snarky traveler Anthony Bourdain. Not only would Tony B and I converse about varied and interesting topics regarding food, politics, and the global world at large, but with all his travel experience, he would most certainly find food on that island and cook it over an open flame. And he looks like the type of guy to carry a flask at all times. You know, for emergencies. That flask could come in handy for cleaning out any wounds or just for general merriment. Let’s face it, being trapped on an island wouldn’t be much fun, at least not long term. I know Tony B would make it more bearable for me.

    1. LOL Rache, a little intro flattery never hurt this girl. By the way, by the time you read my latest post, you’ll see how those delicious (and er, not entirely local I don’t think) vodka-soaked cherries turned against me. I guess I should stick to wine boxes.

      Anthony Bourdain! I am also a fan. (Though some think he’s a bit misogynistic.) You’re not worried his tough guy persona is an act and he’ll crack the minute his feet hit the sand? Or maybe you’ll just be drunk all the time, which any Titanic chef can tell you is the key to survival. If that isn’t inspirational, I don’t know what is.

      1. I don’t think Vodka ever did anyone any good, except maybe the Russians in the dead of winter. Who am I kidding? Vodka’s awesome. (Hope your mini me turns up.)

        I think Tony B and I would get along splendidly. We could curse the heat and sand together and like you said, spend most of our time in a flask-induced haze. He has a young daughter so I know he’s good for procreation if we needed to populate our desert island. See, we could survive on so many levels. He’s perfect.

  14. After thinking about this long and hard, and assuming that Dumbledore is out of the question, I’d have to go with Napoleon. No, not Dynamite– Bonaparte!

    First of all, with a name like Bone-a-party, it’s pretty much implied that you’re going to have an amazing time hanging out with this guy. Second, he was already exiled to an island, so surely he must know his way around it. Third, he was pretty much the Capt. James Kirk equivalent of the French army, which tells me two things: 1) he will have no problem protecting me from rabid monkeys, acid rain, fireballs, or whatever else Katniss and Peeta faced and 2) he is allegedly chivalrous. And no lady can resist a man in uniform. Lastly, he’s French. And if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that the French worship wine. I’m an enologist at a French-style winery in Napa (nbd). By the transitive property, he will thus worship me.

    I even wikipedia-ed a photo of him:

    I’m not sure what all that “hand under the shirt” business is, but I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s the ancestor of the now-abundant “weird angle in a dirty mirror” type Myspace photo, so… 200 years ago, I’m sure this would’ve gotten my ovaries quivering.

    1. You have no idea how much I am trying not to burst out laughing since it’s 1.36 am here and don’t want to wake my little one, who’s sleeping soundly. I’m in fits of giggles!
      I think this one might take home the bacon, Jules! (mmm bacon, great for parties too!)

  15. I know I don’t contribute much to the blog world, other than comments. But, I am going to contribute to this just because those ‘stache glasses are THE coolest!

    I’m going to have to say David Bromstad. Just because he’s so corky and awesome! We’d have the best decorated island, EVER! Plus, he’s just so crafty and funny and I think he’d be a blast to hang out with.

    P.S. I came across this and thought of you and your ‘stache glasses. I think they’re kind of fun. 🙂
    -There’s other ‘stache stuff on this website that’s also fun. Well, really the whole website is fun!

    1. Never fear – no need to blog to win the GREATEST CONTEST IN THE WORLD, LOL!

      I had to Google David Bromstad, but I know exactly who that is now that I’m looking at his picture! This is a really fascinating deserted island choice, but I can totally see where you’re going. He would turn an island into a home in no time flat. Why even bother trying to get rescued when you have coconut milk cozies fashioned from palm leaves and facial hair?!

      Oooh ‘stache cookie cutters… Those are nice ones. Double oooh. I have seen this website before (and it IS awesome), but not the cookie cutters! Thanks!! 🙂

        1. Ooh thank you for asking! Right now Second Husband, Darren Criss, is in the lead, but I’m having trouble committing 100% when he’s only been in my life for a short time and I have no idea how he is with starting fires (except in my heart).

          1. You’re welcome!
            Obvously I don’t know second husband Darren Criss, but I would think if he’s good at starting fires in your heart, it’s quite possible he’s a Tom Hanks at starting fires on a deserted island.

  16. Well I would totally say Chip ‘n’ Dale, but only if I could be shrunk to their size so we could have some rescue rangery fun, alais they are neither people or real. 😦 Oh what fun it would of been too.

    So I would probably have to say Lea Michele, we could gleek out together and I could marvel at her truely awesomeness!!!

    1. Well bonus peanuts to you for at least considering chipmunks, Charlie! And for being the first to mention a honey-I-shrunk-myself kind of scenario.

      AND a Glee pick in the end? Wow. You have a lot of good things going on in this comment. Do you think coconut milk is good for the vocal chords? I bet it is, actually. But probably not the stress of imminent death.

      1. It could very well help the vocal chords, it said to help heal sore throats. Although I think no amount of coconut milk could help my vocal chords, and in an attempt to sing, I’m pretty sure my strandee would be attempting to shove coconuts into their ears!

  17. Admiral Nelson…. only because on a school trip my friend was ill, and vomited on the exact spot that he died, and I really need to check that there are no hard feelings…. 🙂

      1. I was going to be all ‘Stephen Fry’ because he is just totally awesome, but I thought everybody would want him…. so I thought I better check on old Nelson…. 😉

  18. Uh..hmm. I hate most celebretards.. who oh who would I do (on an island). Can I pick two?

    Neil Degrasse Tyson to keep me entertained/brain alive.
    annnnd uuuuuhhhhhmmmmm *ppfffhhhhttttssss*

    A young Bill Murray. Because laughter is the most important thing, and I could probably shack up with a young Bill Murray, cause you know us laydees need teh love too.

    1. Wow, L, fascinating picks! I hope Neil doesn’t over think things. But I guess that’s where Bill comes in. Imagine if they started fighting over you? Would Neil stoop to that level?

  19. This is so easy.

    Conan O’Brien.

    What? He’s kinda cute. And he could entertain me all day with his silly jokes. And, perhaps the most important thing– he can reach all the coconuts for me.

    P.S. Did you know that I was one of the very first entries into one of your very first contests (that I know of)? Yes, my pb cups/Golden Girls vlog! I did that for YOU, Jules. Why? Because I love you and your mustached face. But I never win anything. It’s always Renee. (shhh…don’t tell her I said that…) that’s okay…I’ll live to face another mustache-less day….

      1. Wait . . . what?? I think I resemble that remark! 😉

        But, but Peg! I was good this time . . . didn’t you see? I gave an actual answer and everything! Very little contact between my lips and Jule’s lovely and petite derriere!! I have dutifully been attending my SA meetings (Suck-ups Anonymous), and have had very little occasion to slip up. One day at a time . . .

        1. You had me going until I noticed the little derriere part you snuck in the middle. It’s not that I don’t wish you well with SA, but the recidivism rate among recovering suck-ups is like 85%. (shakes head sadly at the folly of mankind).

      2. I don’t know, I think I can rival Misty’s suck-up-edness. After all, look at all the constant butt-kissing Mr. Skittles and I’ve done in the past for Paul and his contests…

    1. HA!! “Reach all the coconuts!” Darla you are so funny, and practical! I am very glad to see people are taking the importance of a sense of humor into account for this. (I’d expect nothing less from you.)

      And you are so right. You have been there from the very first contest! Where we first uncovered our shared love of the almighty peanut butter cup (although I prefer the regular size to the minis). I’d much rather give you ‘stache glasses in person. When are you coming to visit me?

    1. Ooooh Country Wife! What an interesting pick! I fear he will choose creativity over sustenance, though, and you can’t eat little skeleton sand dogs, I’m afraid.

      Also, if he’s the only survivor along with you, I think that means Johnny Depp is dead. I don’t think they travel anywhere apart.

      Despite my pragmatic response, this pick has set my imagination on fire. Love it!

      1. Wait! Johnny Depp died as well? Nevermind, I’m gonna change my answer. Because I don’t wanna live in a world where there is no Johnny Depp. I’ll be one of the non-survivors as well. Hopefully Johnny and I can die in each other’s arms . . . holding, caressing, kissing . . .

        Ahem. Oh, sorry . . . I think I drifted off into a completely different type of hypothetical situation there. Just ignore me. Please return to your regularly scheduled blog. 😉

  20. Boring, I’m going to pick the obvious “Boston Rob”. Let’s just say I think he’s a dish and he actually is the only person I can think of that could both ‘keep us alive’ AND ‘not make me crazy’. That is a very small list that not even “Mr Boomdeeadda” is on and I can’t say which part of that list he falls under….Ha.

    1. Ohhh Peppermeister was just asking me if anyone had picked someone who’d been on Survivor! A most logical, and dishy, choice. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Mr. Boomdeeadda.

  21. How is it that I could want mustache glasses so much!?!

    I’d say…JJ Abrams, creator of LOST. He’d know how to get off the island. Or at least he’d remember those numbers I have to enter into the computer every hour.

    1. Jackie, I would be saddened and confused if you DIDN’T want mustache glasses so much.

      JJ Abrams is awesome. This really made me laugh (“or at least he’d remember those numbers”).

      I’ve never really liked bad boys. Except for vampires, and I guess they’re the baddest boys there are. When they’re not sparkling.

  22. I had to read all the comments to make sure I hadn’t been pipped at the post. I’m absolutely tickled to discover that my answer is still there for the taking.

    Tom Hanks.

    Have cinematic evidence (all 3 hours of it) that he can actually survive the deserted island situation and is prepared to tone up for the occasion (take that Channing Tatum, bet you can’t get those Abs in your 40s). If I’m really lucky, he’ll bring Wilson and we’ll be a happy party of three.

    If I get a tooth abscess, he can remove it with an ice skate – mcguyver never did that. If I need rope, he can make it, can also manoeuvre a raft on the open sea and catch fish – v.handy.

    But Tom Hanks has other mad skilz that I suspect would be useful.
    He has a few shiny oscars that might be useful to barter in exchange for fire.
    If I get lonely, he can write me a nice note, or have a heart wrenching soliloquy over the banana telephone.
    If at any point, I am likely to die, he will give me solace and keep me calm in my final moments.
    He can coach me to become a professional female baseballer or a spectacularly successful one hit wonder.
    If civil rights are in jeopardy on the island, he can rally behind a cause and fight the conservative, judgy, narrow-minded man.
    If we get bored, we can produce a successful HBO miniseries together.
    We’ll be pretty set to decipher clues if there’s a treasure hunt.
    He’s pretty great at frightening off villains (reach for the Stars!)
    If we have to deal with a volcano? he’s done it before.
    If there are mermaids, oversized mean teddybears or world war II to deal with? he’s been there, done that too.

    And if I need to get somewhere? he can run.

    Last but not least, any man who can keep Rita Wilson happy for that many years can’t be boring to be around.
    Pretty sure my island buddy is the best evah. Yup.

    1. Kate, I’m with Peg. This is so awesome. I bow down to you! I don’t even know how to begin to respond!

      And seriously. What CAN’T Tom Hanks do? I ask myself that question at least once a week.

      1. I may have got carried away – I was originally trying to make it more convincing than “he was on an island once…”

        It’s unfair really. I bet he could even have numchuck skilz if he wanted them.

  23. I would choose Clark Gable. If my power to summon someone dead to the island also includes bringing them back to life, we’ll spend countless hours with him giving me that sexy smirk, and sweeping me up in his powerful arms to carry me up the deserted island’s grand staircase (2 steps at a time) as if I were a feather. We’ll enjoy a night of…this is where we fade to black until the next shot of my satisfied self in bed in the morning.

    If I can summon a dead person to the island but they’re still dead, then his rotting body will attract buzzards, which I will kill and eat to survive.

    1. Whoa. Whoa, Peg. How did we go from being swept away by Clark Gable to eating buzzards over his dead body in the span of a few seconds?

      Actually, that’s kind of amazing. Kudos to you for a very inventive yet logical plan if bringing back Mr. Sexy Smirk doesn’t work.

  24. Pingback: DOH! | Go Jules Go
  25. My initial reaction was AUDREY HEPBURN! I even thought it in all caps. But then I thought, am I trapped on this deserted island with no hope of getting off? Then perhaps I should choose someone capable of rescuing me from my doom? So my answer is two-fold: 1) If I am happy to be on this island and don’t wish to escape, then Audrey Hepburn. Because, um, she’s Audrey Hepburn. Duh. 2) If I wish to get off the deserted island I would choose MacGyver. Because let’s face it, there’s no situation he can’t get out of.

    1. Emily, that makes perfect sense to me. But what if you’re ORIGINALLY happy and then it all goes to heck? Like in “The Beach” with my desert-island-runner-up, Leonardo DiCaprio.

      1. Then I suppose being unhappy and stranded on a deserted island with Audrey Hepburn would be better than being unhappy and stranded on a deserted island with anyone else. Unless Audrey causes the unhappiness… but we won’t think about that.

  26. I’d like to be stuck on an Island with the inflatable pilot from Airplane. I’d like him because he seems very resourceful and quite a lot of fun and when I get bored of the island I can paddle him back to civilization… wait a minute that’s not a paddle… (New novel idea ; ‘Fifty Kinds Of Plastic’ The novel begins at a Tuppaware party…)

  27. Hm, any famous person dead or alive? Hm… I choose John Mayer, and I choose dead. I kid, I kid! John knows I’m a kidder.

    Well, he’d be dull company, but I might have to go with The Professor from Gilligan’s Island, because then we could build anything we need (assuming this island has coconuts).

    Unless I’m bound by real-world physics, because then an hour in to our time on the island I’d be shrieking, “NONE OF THESE THINGS WORK!! ARE YOU INSANE?? OH MY GOD, YOU ARE!! YOU’RE INSANE!”

    If real world physics matter I’m going with Alison Pill. For… less pragmatic reasons…

    1. B! Look at’choo! Entering my contest with time to spare! You’re no cotton-headed ninnymuggins. I don’t care what anyone says.

      Why is John Mayer so much fun to mock? I like him (scratch that – I mean his music) and I still think it’s hilarious. When did it start? Your Body is a Wonderland? That was it, wasn’t it? Jennifer Aniston? The faces he makes when he plays guitar?

      Of all of these, I’m deciding for you, and I decide Alison Pill because that’s how I play this game. Even though I had to Google her name, I know exactly who she is. Maybe from Milk. Love that movie. Or maybe You’re Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Camping Party. (I know just what I’m getting for Kidney Bean!)

        1. All right. I still need to see all of these. That is sad. …But exciting? Yes, let’s go with that!

          P.S. – She says to call her Alison, because it’s going to be a long time on that island.

  28. Why, why, why…. why do I miss all the signs, bells, whistles, and other alerts I have set up for when you post something, Jules?! I follow you on Twitter, yet I seem to be missing Tweets. I subscribe to you via WP, but you don’t appear in my feed. Do you exist? I am starting to wonder.

    I’m going to think about the island thing … I just wanted to make my appearance known fearing an accidental delete from the post following this one. D’oh!

    1. Lenore! Too funny. The WordPress reader is definitely on the fritz.

      I’m glad you’re thinking this through. So many people take the deserted island pick lightly. It could mean the difference between life and death!

  29. I would like to be stranded on an island with my friend Alan because he can do 74 different voices/people and I would never get bored or lonely!!! Plus one of the people he does is Gilligan who already has so much experience on an island that he would know all the answers to the question “what do we do now?” And if I had the stash glasses they would so beautifully compliment my glasses/costume collection I would be able to beccome anyone, therefore ensuring that my companions are never lonely or bored either. My all time favorites are red catseyes with rhinestones!! (plus, we have an awesome name!)

    1. Jules! My, yes, what an AWESOME name. One might even argue it’s perfect.

      Alan sounds fabulous, and I think in this fantasy scenario, if you can impersonate someone, you also assume any of their skills/experience. So, this is going to work out splendidly for Jules and Alan. As long as Alan doesn’t steal your red catseyes glasses while you’re busy weaving him a friendship bracelet from palm leaves.

    1. The End! Yes. Perfect. I enjoy him as well. He’s in two of my favorite guilty pleasure movies: “The Girl Next Door” and “Catch and Release.”

      1. Plus, I’m betting if he got one tiny glimpse of me in coconut bra, grass skirt, nursing shoes, and “stache glasses” the fermented coconut milk wouldn’t even be necessary…

        1. I have this really strong feeling that the nursing shoes would be the thing that saves you in the end. I’m not sure how, but they would.

          BTW? I’ve started four different entries for your latest contest, and I still don’t have it right yet. But I promise on Second Husband that I am entering! (One entry may be about Second Husband. Okay. I didn’t go that far.) You are already a winner – of the best contest idea EVER award!

  30. Easy. Jeff Probst. Yes, his personality is revolting, but just hear me out. First, there’s the irony of it all. Second, I would definitely be the least annoying person within ear shot. Third, upon our eventual birthing of little island babies, they would have a decent shot at being good looking. Lastly, when the two of us and our little island babies lose our minds from dehydration, he could speak to the imaginary cameras in a way that would convince me we were on a reality TV show.

    1. Plus at any point you would have the power to vote him off the island if you won the immunity challenge… I think that is a definite bonus.

      1. Haha!! He would get voted off every week. Each birth would probably win me months of immunity.

  31. God/Creator/Spirit/Universe… whatever name necessary to convey the ONE who could make me a killer margarita on this deserted island, as I’m assuming there is no bar available and I would need the cocktail being the only one there with God (et other names). I could ask why things like deserted islands exist, let alone lil ‘ole me or men with terrible pick-up lines. I’d also ask for clues to why things like mustache glasses aren’t given out when we graduate from school so that we all learn to not take ourselves too seriously and enjoy life. Then I’d ask for a planet for me as an island would be too small for the two of us. I know I’m demanding, but hey, I have God (et other names) on a deserted island. Hmmm, maybe instead of a planet I’d ask for some peeps for me to hang out with, or at least the man of my dreams (I would be very curious to see what the man in my dreams would look like as he seems very much mythical) *sigh* but alas, I can always dream of the wearing the mustache- glasses while drinking a margarita and THEN meeting the man of my dreams…on an island 😉

    1. Kristy, I have to tell you, I was totally riveted by this. Choosing [insert diety here]! It’s inspired. It kind of makes me wish I’d thought to chose the genie from Aladdin (wishes AND Robin Williams’ sense of humor?)!

      Obviously, the perfect margarita comes first, because everything else is bound to work out after that (you won’t even care what your perfect man looks like!). And speaking of tequila goggles, the fact that you also thought of giving away ‘stache glasses at graduation so kids learn not to take themselves seriously is amazing. “Oh The Places You’ll Go,” step aside!

      1. Lol, when I read genie from Aladdin I hear Robin Williams. That would be quite the ride!!! I don’t feel a perfect man exists, there’s simply one that fits me. Perceived perfection is boring, our quirks and things we often try and keep from others are the qualities that those who love us find endearing. I can be super ditzy, and my friends adore that about me despite my constant shaking my head at the things I do or say… And looks are farther down compared to other qualities, while I need to be attracted, things like humor, kindness, music lover, ability to look to the world in wonder…are far more important than how he would look. Margaritas, cocktails, wine or whatev, always help things work out 😉 I think ‘stache glasses should be given out, the world would be so much more enjoyable if it’s full of people enjoying life.

  32. i was SO just looking at your gravatar on someone else’s blog and thinking…where the devil did she get those awesome stache glasses, gimme! and then i saw you were doing a give-away! aha-moment! and then i saw i missed the deadline by a few hours. sigh. oh well, i’ll hit you up next time.

    1. Aw crudnuggets (yes. That word just happened)! I’m sure your entry would have been amazing, BUT, yes, fear not! Definitely going to do one in August, and I think I’ll extend the entry time a bit. I’m so glad you have such good taste in facial hair, but not surprised 🙂

  33. Oh my goodness moustache glasses♥
    I think I would want to be trapped on a deserted island with Jack Sparrow! First of all, he ALWAYS finds a way back to the mainland, and I would have a ton of fun partying with all the rum 🙂 Thanks for the giveaway!

  34. Oh, I’m so late to the ‘stache party. Suckage! That’s okay; because I know I so would’ve won it with my Alone on a Desert Island with Bob Denver entry. He’s dead now but that would’ve added a twisted Lost-like element to my fantasy.

  35. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thanks, However
    I am encountering difficulties with your RSS.
    I don’t know the reason why I am unable to subscribe to it.
    Is there anybody having the same RSS problems? Anyone who
    knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!

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