Giveaway Junkie

And zee Winner of zee July ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway EEZ…

Holy stromboli with a side of awesomesauce, Chipmunks!

Your entries for the July round were even more hilarious than the first ‘stache glasses giveaway entries; I’ve been laughing nonstop since Monday morning.

You are so great. Every single one was wonderful.

While there can only be one winner this month, remember this won’t be your last chance to smash out with your ‘stache out. (Yeah, that doesn’t work, does it?)

In the end, it came down to two, but alas, my budget forced me to pick just one. Je regrette, Kate; your Tom Hanks entry was truly inspired and put you in the top two!

Which means the winner of the July ‘stache glasses giveaway is…


Chimidongha’s (a.k.a. AlexhA’s) Entry:

After thinking about this long and hard, and assuming that Dumbledore is out of the question, I’d have to go with Napoleon. No, not Dynamite– Bonaparte!

First of all, with a name like Bone-a-party, it’s pretty much implied that you’re going to have an amazing time hanging out with this guy. Second, he was already exiled to an island, so surely he must know his way around it. Third, he was pretty much the Capt. James Kirk equivalent of the French army, which tells me two things: 1) he will have no problem protecting me from rabid monkeys, acid rain, fireballs, or whatever else Katniss and Peeta faced and 2) he is allegedly chivalrous. And no lady can resist a man in uniform. Lastly, he’s French. And if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that the French worship wine. I’m an enologist at a French-style winery in Napa (nbd). By the transitive property, he will thus worship me.

I even wikipedia-ed a photo of him.

I’m not sure what all that “hand under the shirt” business is, but I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s the ancestor of the now-abundant “weird angle in a dirty mirror” type Myspace photo, so… 200 years ago, I’m sure this would’ve gotten my ovaries quivering.

For the record, Dumbledore would have been both acceptable and wonderful, though with speaker7 planning to bring Voldemort to her island, things could have gotten ugly.

Alexha, not only do you get the coolest fashion accessory since slap bracelets, you get to see how your deserted island adventure unfolds (and please forgive the liberal use of your beautiful, and conveniently beach-y, gravatar image)…


Congratulations, Alexha! Email me your address and your ‘stache glasses of choice, and get ready to become the fly-est chipmunk in the forest!

Chipmunks, thank you for once again proving that I know THE BEST peeps in and outside of the blogosphere! Next contest, mid-August!

71 thoughts on “And zee Winner of zee July ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway EEZ…”

    1. Katy, thank you so much – best response EVER! 🙂 I can’t even express in words (only Clip Art) how much fun I’m having with these contests.

      Can’t respond to all comments now, but if anyone else is reading this, too: I know I am UTTERLY behind on blog reading, and hope to catch up this weekend. You can blame my obvious PowerPoint addiction, and perhaps recommend support groups.

    1. Warning, lame comment: Thanks for following me. 😀 It’s awesome cuz you’re one of the really popular ones! Unless, like I told Byronic Man, you Accidentally hit the follow button. 😉

      1. Thanks, Lily! This was REALLY hard to pick. I mean, I swear on Second Husband EVERY entry was good. Not only good, but FUNNY! Whew.

        Thank YOU for following ME. And though you’re wise to doubt me given my recent ‘DOH!’ record, it was NO mistake. WOW I used a LOT of caps in this response, HUH?

  1. Holy flying monkeys! This was outstanding. I feel like I need to send you a pair of stache glasses or an autographed picture of Hugo humping Goofy for this amazingness.

    1. Speaker! Of course I thought of you when I was putting this together; your skills (and better yet – humor) are an inspiration! Can’t wait to get caught up on Hugo/Christian’s latest indiscretions. Your compliment in this arena is, well, doubly awesome.

      If I had an autographed picture of Hugo, my life would be complete. (I actually gave away an autographed picture of Uncle Jesse, my dog, in a previous giveaway.)

    1. Score! (And thank you!) I really do think that’s the best compliment. Especially since Peppermeister NEVER laughs out loud at anything I write. Can you believe that shiz?

      I am headed STRAIGHT to your vlog now! SQUEEE!

  2. It’s okay I have my own glasses and I’ll grow a moustache of my own. The flying monkeys certainly explain the bananas in my guttering, but not the empty vodka miniature in the rabbit hutch.

    1. LOL Actually, I’m glad you brought this up. What DO we do for people who are already bespectacled and mustachioed? I’m going to have to meditate on this (and by meditate I mean drink an entire box of Franzia and see what happens).

  3. Yikes! I never considered the Tom hanks entry as being finalist worthy! Congrats to the bone-a-party!

    I have very much enjoyed this experience and it has nothing to do with being runner up 😀 here’s to you all! May you never be at the peril of rabid flying monkeys and boxed wine.

    1. I have to tell you I think you were robbed. ROBBED I say!! Yours was brilliant and as soon as I read it, I said to myself, “Misty . . . that right there is the winner. You ain’t got a chance!” So, while myself was right about that second part, I somehow was wrong about the first. So weird, because myself is never wrong. Such an anomaly!

      Oh and shhh, don’t tell Jules I am questioning her authority or her choices. I still want her to love me at BlogHer. 😉

    2. Kate, thank YOU for a truly, TRULY brilliant entry. It was SO hard to pick just one of you! (And thank you for the follow, too – that makes my day! Unless I’m imagining that, because it’s been a long day/week, LOL)

      I’m really glad you enjoyed it! I can’t even tell you how much fun this is for me because of people like you! 🙂

      1. If I were a smarter person (which I only sometimes am), I would have followed you earlier in the week Jules! I’ve used a number of convoluted ways to get back here and check the progress of the deserted island situation, boing moment only happened last night (what am I doing? WordPress has a function for this!). But then I have been salvaging my brain from last week’s exam debris so it’s not all that surprising.

        Between reading you and the B-man Im thinking my blog is awfully serious. Far more serious than I am… I will think of something. Soon.

        Delighted to be a “follower” in a non-hillsong kinda way.

      2. Jules! (And folk who write, but who probably aren’t keeping tabs on my chat with Jules). I have come up with the non-serious corner of my blog – it’s a 15 minute weekly(ish) impromptu writing challenge tailor-made for procrastination and brain de-cobwebbing. It may not survive the distance, but I’ll see how it goes.

        Since I know you like to write, and I assume you’re down with procrastinating, I’m posting the link. I’m not really expecting it to take off like hellfire (I hear that stuff moves quick), but it could get strange.

        First challenge is a litany against your bad habit – maybe you need one, maybe you have no bad habits and just want to write “Kate, I’m awesome.” I’d respect that.


        1. Kate! You don’t even know how cool it is that you are doing this! I’ve been doing some VERY similar ‘unblocking’ exercises over the past couple of weeks, and the result is amazing!

          I cannot WAIT to do this… what a fan-daba-dozy idea! And, bonus, I can plug it in my next ‘Summer is Hot and So Are You’ issue [next week], LOL Sweet! You rock!

          1. Agh! Hurrah! I’m still getting used to all the enthusiasm around here. Am SO used to having people respond with my ideas with “mmhmm that coooould work…” granted, that’s how they’re supposed to respond to me, the most junior person in the hierarchy, but you know, you get bit adjusted to that attitude.

            Would love to be in your next issue! That’s a total bonus that I was not at all expecting. Particularly since I have not done any montage of me in a slap bracelet. I did have slap bracelets though. Before they were banned as a choking hazard or something. Why were they banned again?

            1. I really think it was the ‘shank’ possibility of their metal innards.

              And I like to think I bring enough enthusiasm for at least 3 people, so I hope this helps restore some chipmunk-y balance to your life.

              And? This idea is seriously cool! I’m going to do my 15 minute exercise now, as long as I don’t get interrupted! Huzzah!

    1. Renee, that is the ultimate compliment! Thank you!

      And I think learning the intricacies of PowerPoint comes with the right motivation. Like conversations with second husbands, twisted birthday cards for B Man, Napoleon Bonaparte (and Alexha!) drinking Franzia… And you trying on Madonna’s cone-shaped bikini while she tries on your chipmunk one, perhaps?

      1. For real, a chipmunk has been my writing buddy for the last few days as I work on Manny the WIP. He is no longer afraid of me or the clicks on the computer. Today, I read something aloud and he didn’t even flinch. He is the best audience. I so love chipmunks. Unless he is making babies in my basement. Then he must die. I mean, then he will be comfortable during the long, cold winter.

        1. See, now, I don’t get this. I love them more than life itself, yet I almost NEVER see them, and certainly not for long periods at a time (do you appreciate my fascination more now?). Though I did see one scurry across the street today on my way to work; the ultimate good omen.

          That is so awesome. Obviously, the Chipmunks have spoken (and have graciously ignored your one *gasp* horrific insinuation): Your book will be a NYT bestseller.

  4. Jules, did you do that??? Tutorial, nothing, we’re talking master class!

    Congrats to Alexha! I’m sure you and Boney will be very happy.

    1. Peg, yes, but Alexha’s breathtaking entry nearly wrote the thing for me! Thank you! Next round though? I’m giving myself the weekend (I only had last night to put this together since the contest was open until noon yesterday)!

      And I owe you an email – you’re not showing up in my reader, so I’ve been going to your site manually to check for new posts. I’m behind on EVERYONE’S blogs right now.

      1. That’s ok; I consider myself emailed. I don’t know what to do about not showing up in people’s Reader – this seems to be a common problem, as fully 1/2 my subscribers are not showing up at my place anymore. Although they may have just decided to pick up their marbles and go home. 😦

        I can’t believe you put that together in one day – you the man! (By which I mean the incredibly girly, attractive woman with mad blogging skills.)

  5. This is precisely the reason why I do not drink (anything) near my computer!
    This was superbly hilarious. You don’t need a PowerPoint Anonymus class – you do need to teach the rest of us!

    1. Thank you so much, Karin! I could do this alllll day. But then they’d take my house away and I’d have to go to Barnes and Noble or something for free wi fi and that sounds like kind of a pain.

  6. Congrats to the winner!! That was a fine choice, Jules. Really, superb. 😉

    I also love the Power Point representation of their time on the island. I fear you have too much time on your hands. But really, that was brilliant. Luckily, no coffee was spewed on my computer as I was not drinking at the time, but had I been, I also would have some cleaning up to do. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Misty! 🙂 You never make judging these things easy (but the chipmunk fairy seems to think you won’t be without ‘stache glasses for long! WINK WINK).

      And yes, yes, it’s becoming a problem. I’m going to have to prove I still have a life, I’m thinking via a very convincing presentation.

  7. Good one Alexha! Those crazy monkeys scared the ‘heck’ out of me when I was a kid….thanks for reminding me! I’m simultaneously shaking and laughing, maybe a glass of Franzia would help.

  8. Oh, Jules… You CRACK ME UP!!!! Those Flying Monkeys didn’t stand a chance against the Franzia. Hahaha! Alexha’s entry was delightfully written and your visuals of desert island/Bone-A-Party/vino/monkey shenanigans were pure genius.

    1. Jess! I’m so glad you liked it! I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed more than I have in this past week.

      And I was just telling Alexha she totally wrote this post for me! She is hilarious!

      1. Having fun is the point so having WAY too much fun is icing on the cake! I’m just glad I wasn’t drinking coffee, it would’ve been all over my lap top 🙂

  9. HAHAHAHA. I cannot stop laughing! Which is very fortunate, because I am going to Vegas in 2 weeks and haven’t begun my self-induced-torture/”Vegas diet.” I am forwarding your clip-arts to Marvel, FYI. You need your own comic book.

    Yay, thanks for picking me, especially since the other entries were hilarious! I had fun reading all of them in-between intense games of solitaire while at work 🙂

    PS, How did you know about my love for Franzia?!

      1. Congrats again, Alexha!!! As soon as I read your entry, I knew I’d experienced something special. I needed to take others on your journey. You practically wrote this post for me!

        That is AMAZING re: the Franzia picture. I couldn’t stop laughing about using boxed wine because you said you were an enologist.

        I am suddenly 110% sure I picked the wrong line of work.

        P.S. – You haven’t emailed me which ones you want yet and your address, right ( Just want to make sure I’m not having email issues. As soon as you do, I’ll have them sent straight to you via Amazon. It worked out well for Round #1!

  10. I am shocked – SHOCKED – that my selection of an actress few have heard of for the totally blunt-headed, male reasoning of “Ah thenk she’s purty” didn’t win.


    Your photo-shop skills are going to have to be registered with the police pretty soon, they’re getting so sharp.

    1. Technically I chose for you. I’m sorry I made you/me/JuJuBees lose. The comment about the police is so delightfully corny; it’s been making me giggle all day.

      BTW, my banner doesn’t feel right anymore. I think I need to put up a picture of Bronson in ‘stache glasses.

      Crud. There was something else I wanted to tell you… Oh! Lest you be misled by Monkeys #2 and #3, I actually am LOVING “Wilfred” this season, even more than last. Did you ever start watching it?

  11. You are a brilliant (possibly evil?) genius. Obviously the real prize was being featured in your bone-a-party comic strip. Congrats, Chimidongha–your beachy enthusiasm made all of our days. P.S. Franzia? Classy.

  12. Your photoshopping skills are like some kind of modern artistic genius. You are the Michelangelo of your time.

    How dare you with the flying monkey — don’t you know how I feel about flying monkeys! How could you. I won’t sleep for weeks now, Jules.

    Congrats to Alexha!

    1. Oh, Ang, thank you, and I think you WILL sleep if you have the guts to follow through re: your latest post… 😉

      And I’m with you on/sorry about the flying monkeys. I was telling someone else that I was hoping if I got them drunk on Franzia, I would kill two birds with one stone: Have a post and undermine my deeply-seated fear.

  13. I was sold with the reference to quivering ovaries. That’s a big win in my books, ALWAYS! Great job on the clip art extravaganza. Love it, Jules! 🙂

    1. HA Ha That was the clincher for me, too, Dana! Thank you so much – I was telling someone I think I broke PowerPoint during the process of making this. And maybe WordPress.

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