humor, Summer is Hot, Wipe the Drool

Summer Is Hot and So Are You – Issue #3

Editor’s Note: Your favorite blogger (ahem) did an ongoing slap bracelet giveaway this year, but the bracelets feature my old blog name, “GoGuiltyPleasures!”. For a full listing of all Slap Bracelet pictures and posts, please see my Slap Bracelets page.

Cover Story – Don’t Quote Lily

Lily is a relatively new blogger and a fellow Jersey girl, and I could tell you how sweet, supportive and fun she is. I should do that. Right now. But you’re not going to believe me once you see how f&@#$% hot she is in one of my slap bracelets.

I should charge you to view these. But why don’t you pay Lily instead, in compliments (in the comments section below)?

She will store your compliments in here.
Screw honey.
Annnd THIS is what I’m saying. Pay up.
Oh, Lily. Can I quote you on that?
This is perfectly normal, Lilykins. I mean, it is Tuesday morning, right?

Featured Article – Ruminations on Love & Lunchmeat

Love & Lunchmeat is badass. There’s really no other way to put it. Both she and her blog are fresh and funny –  as if you couldn’t tell by the name. She claims to have a favorite kid and has been skydiving, for starters.

She was also recently Freshly Pressed (i.e., featured on the homepage of! And more importantly, Babs (my mom) likes her.

Here’s a sneak peek of what Love & Lunchmeat orchestrated all in the name of slap bracelets! Click the picture to see the rest. (I mean, the blog post title is “Because Bacon is Sexy.” C’mon.)

I hope this one is the favorite.

That Fun and Quirky Last Page of Every Magazine –  Erin from Catstache

You may recall Erin from her mind-blowing ‘guilty pleasures gift basket giveaway‘ entry, which earned her a runner-up spot:

And it’s STILL one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.

Her chipmunkitude so does not stop there. She’s a very talented photographer (I’m especially fond of these pictures), and she just, you know, gets me. I mean, she recently gave this Pot Head something to really geek out over.

…I’m talking about Harry Potter. Why are you looking at me like that? My pupils are always this big.

It says my devotion to chipmunks, slap bracelets and second husband, Darren Criss, have earned me a Prefect position in the Gryfffindor House. You know that’s right.
Instagram and I tried to make our pictures pretty for you, Erin.
Erin, you put the magic in my wand. Or something.

Backcover – Peppermeister

My first and only husband, Peppermeister, is hosting a photo contest on his blog. Email or Tweet him your best pepper pics by noon EST Sunday, August 26th and you could win a pepper roasting rack!

Click the ‘stache glasses to check out the contest details:

He’s practicing safe salsa.

Summer is almost over. OMG. What are you still hoping to do? …Oh, what’s that? Win some ‘stache glasses? Well stay tuned this Thursday, Chipmunks!

76 thoughts on “Summer Is Hot and So Are You – Issue #3”

    1. How did I miss Tenderheart?! Amazing.

      I bought a dog that looks like a stuffed animal so I could get away with having stuffed animals well into middle age. (Or forever. Because Uncle Jesse’s going to live forever. …HE IS TOO.)

    2. I have the Carebears movie on DVD. My sister gave it to me for christmas a few years back, I was all ZOMG! Never thought I’d have the chance to see it again. I had Sunshine bear. Respect Lily.

  1. Oh Jules. *Blushes* Thanks again, you’re always so sweet. I love how tightly I’m holding the bottle “in my sleep”…totally natural. 😀
    You’re awesome. I’m gonna check out the other featured bloggers now. 🙂

    1. A rum bottle death grip is the only responsible thing to do in this scenario. Someone trained you well.

      YOU are awesome! Thank you so much for sending these fabulous and stunning pictures! You do me proud, Lilykins.

    1. You know it took a long time of drooling over Lily’s pictures before I realized those butterflies were on the wall and not photoshopped in. Which impressed me even more.

  2. Omigosh! Love the picture of Peppermeister. (Okay, you were not kidding about the peppers, and did I know he had a blog?) Meanwhile, Lily is lovely. She’s all butterflies and unicorns and firm breasts. Damn her. 🙂

    I want some of your ‘stache, ladybug!

    1. What’s more – his blog was even Freshly Pressed about a month in! Hot tamale! I’m glad he has a hobby that results in delicious food for me. And I can eat the hottest shiz now, which makes me feel constantly smug.

      Yeah. Lily is all that and a boom-shack-a-lacka. (I have never typed that. IT could be all wrong. I’m already starting to regret it.)

  3. Your first hubs is adorable in those glasses. Even if he looks frightened of the peppers!! 😉 I’m not big on the peppers, so I won’t enter, but if you want to change his name to chickennuggetmeister or tatertotmeister, I could probably help you out.

    Great features as always! And I agree with Renee re: that adorable Lily. She has the youth, Renee . . . that’s where the butterflies, unicorns and perky boobs live. We are unfortunately living in the land of toads, mosquitos and sagginess. I mean, maybe that’s just me? Oops!

      1. Well, it makes me feel a LITTLE better, but what would really put me over the top is if you tell me you already have some grey hair. Yes? Please? Sigh. You don’t. I know. Forget it. :p

    1. Misty, yet again you made me burst out laughing today. Tatertotmeister! Darren Criss might have to take a backseat if I ever meet him. Although I’m more of a french fry girl to be honest (and I do NOT discriminate when it comes to fries. That’s why I only fit in pants that stretch).

      I was about to open my mouth to comment on the rest, but a mosquito flew in.

  4. Jules, can you also start a rumor that I smell really really good, like Christian Grey only better? Oh, wait, that’s actually kinda creepy. Never mind. Thanks for the shout out Jules! (Babs not only has awesome parenting skills, she also has great taste!)

    P.S. The favorite changes on a regular basis. It works as better incentive if it’s a rotating position. 🙂

    1. I wish I had thought to start that rumor before I hit publish. The creepier the better. Thank YOU for the shout out – that slap bracelet post blew my mind!

      I remember you saying that about your favorite, but it’s hard for me to believe, given that our family does have a permanent favorite. Ahem.

  5. At first I thought you meant me when you said Lily but I see there’s a younger and prettier Lily. Fine.

    The broad rocking a Marie Antoinette avant découpé-tation is awesome.

  6. Practicing safe salsa is very important! I learned the hard way that you CAN actually burn your hands on a pepper, wth?! Best jerk chicken ever though, they never make it hot enough in the restaurants up here. I am hoping to not melt by the end of the summer (we are actually HAVING a summer this year – the past few we haven’t, so it’s pretty shocking) but at the same time I wouldn’t mind getting rid of this weird sandal tan I’ve acquired :\

    1. Peppermeister burned his cheek making that salsa! But I think it was because he wound up cooking it and it splattered. And he keeps reminding me it’s hot sauce, not salsa. Oops.

      I’m so glad you’re getting summer weather; at the beginning of the season, a friend in London told me it wasn’t looking good.

  7. Goodness! That pic from Catstache – I may lose some sleep tonight.

    Hey, what’s up with PM’s shirt being on inside-out?? Was there some hanky-pepper going on before this was taken?? hehe

    1. MJ, I know. It’s stunning.

      And that’s so funny you noticed his t-shirt! I was wondering if anyone would. He does that all the time. Sadly most of his hanky-panky is with his peppers. Wait. That came out wrong.

  8. “Summer is almost over.” Now that’s just mean. I’m currently bone-deep exhausted because between the onset of work again, and the coming baby there’s this desperation to do EVERYTHING before time runs out.

    That catstache photo cracks me up no matter how many times I look at it.

    1. Ug. I can only IMAGINE how you’re feeling, given that I was in a near-constant state of panic over my 2-week vacay about how much I wanted/needed to get done. At least let me take banner design off your hands. Yessss. …Please?

      I KNOW! I would post Erin’s portrait every day if I could. Do you think I could get away with making it a widget?

    1. Oh! And when I was putting this issue together I was looking at your wedding shots again. The bride and groom photo is WITHOUT A DOUBT a top slap bracelet highlight.

      Also, how could I fail to mention – I’m drinking a juice box of wine RIGHT NOW! It’s pretty good, actually. It’s the Chardonnay (I don’t know how many varieties there are).

      1. I will make myself a crown of slap bracelets to commemorate the honor of top slap bracelet photo. haha.

        Ah, the Juicy Juice of wine. 🙂 I’ve only had the Pinot Grigio. Unfortunately.

        1. I just bought one of those last night!! Yet to try it, as it was warm when I bought it, and my exacting standards for juice box wines requires they be very chilled. It WAS the Pinot, though. Excited to try it, probably this weekend. 🙂

  9. You know the coolest people! Thanks for the introductions.

    Why, Jules, I just happened to notice the brand, spankin-new logo on the right side of your blog that shows you have been FRESHLY PRESSED! Congratulations on the honor and on this richly deserved proof of your talents. Amen.

    1. Peg, that is such a boost to hear I might be introducing YOU to cool new peeps when you are the WordPress Cruise Director Extraordinaire!

      Oh why thank you ever so much. I’m still working on getting the jackass one just right. It’s going at the very top. 😉

      1. I’m really really really gonna stop stalking your post now, just wanted to say, thanks guys! You’re all too kind.

        And to quote asoulwalker: “Slapwear fashion= 37% automatic increase in sexiness” so you should get one. 😀

        1. I hope you stalk my blog forever, Lilykins! Oh and bloggy rule I learned not long ago – if you’re mentioned in a post, you get to unapologetically comment all over the place. Just ask Byronic Man and Childhood Relived when they’ve made the mistake of recently featuring me. 😉

          (And for the record I love having you respond here – these comments are FOR YOU, you fierce thang you!)

          1. Good to know that’s acceptable! I gotta get over this being new thing. I was worried I was being obnoxious. 😳 😀 Well, now I’m just gonna reply to every comment, even if it’s got nothing to do with me. So get ready! (Okay, I guess THAT would be obnoxious. 😉 )

  10. I love peoples responses to my glamour shot. I hope i get to meet you one day so that we can get drunk, try on wigs and paint on the makeup and glamour shot it all. Is that weird? Good, cuz that’s how classy i am 😀
    Thanks for featuring me! I’m so glad you liked the potter nerdiness and your instagram photos are lovely!! kudos!
    Also i know it’s hard to believe what with my portrait really showing off my posing skills but i am terribly jealous of lily. She didn’t even have to don a cheap value village wig or wear blue eye shadow or add lens flare to look gorgeous, i just don’t get it!

        1. Lol of course, um if I type it out then it’ll make the face 😳 but basically you do a colon (punctuation not anatomy) then the word oops and then another colon. No space between the colons and the word oops!

          1. *gasp* Even the way you MAKE it is amazing. I’m still trying to find one shaped like a bowing chipmunk, because that’s the emoticon needed for an occasion such as this.

    1. Erin, having access to you, your photog skillz and any of your accessories would result in more magic than even JK Rowling can imagine.

      OMG. I don’t even want to think about it unless we can make it happen.

      BTW, hypothetically speaking, would you be upset if I incorporated that pic into a blog Widget and/or this year’s Christmas cards?

  11. Stache glasses competition!! I’m so ready for that.
    I am an advocate for safe peppers. I could send in photo series of burns inflicted to my face in the process of chopping peppers and forgetting i’ve touched them and then rubbing my lips, nose, eyes etc… that’s probs not what peppermeister is going for right? That and, I didn’t document my burns for posterity so i’d have to inflict a lot of pain prior to aug 26….hmmmm

  12. The cat picture………holy……………………..oops, I blacked out for a moment there.

    Lily! Care Bear!

    I can tell Peppermeister is such a great guy to have around the kitchen.

    That’s all. I’m still shell shocked after the cat photo.

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