Giveaway Junkie

August ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway!

It’s that time again, you hungover, sunburned burned-out Chipmunks (…just me?)!

These may get old eventually, but I doubt it.

To win fame and fortune Sun-Staches glasses like these, tell me in the comments section below about a conversation bomb you’ve witnessed. I’m talking about those conversation-stoppers that leave everyone scratching their heads, unsure whether to laugh or cry.  (If you’d like some examples, why, allow me: Click here or here.)

I’ll  choose a favorite and make their wildest dreams come true on Monday, September 3, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses (by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs.

Don’t think that’s amazing? Just ask last month’s winner, Alexha from The Bestie+Beastie Project!

Click this fine piece of chipmunk tail and you’ll be rewarded with an Alexha Sun-Staches bikini pic. You’re welcome.

Deadline: Midnight EST, Friday, August 31, 2012.

Print that’s way less fun than talking bears: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to enter, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a comment in the comments section below, you can enter via email: Julie(dot)Davidoski(at)yahoo(dot)com. One submission per person.

I love you so much.

I think about you all the time.

It’s time to ditch your insignificant other and come live with me.

I have a barn.

And my friend Christina makes bacon s’mores:

The End.
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93 thoughts on “August ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway!”

  1. Oh man. I love this contest already.
    My entry: “But we’d have such great combined income.”
    Context: On a second date, about two hours after I’d said I wasn’t interested.

      1. I can’t remember if I laughed but I was definitely confused since I am still a student and my income is still very hypothetical…it got worse too, but that is the best way to summarize the whole experience 😀

    1. WOW. I love it.

      Also – I wanted to tell you I’d love to give your writing series a shout-out in my next ‘summer is hot’ issue (I haven’t forgotten!) 🙂 I’ve been so behind on blog reading lately (I’m sorry!) – how is it going??

      1. I thought you might like it 😉 it was the end of a brief, beautiful, but perhaps falsely-grounded friendship and internet dating in general for me.

        The writing series is still happening, albeit very quietly – it gets a lot of ‘likes’ but not a lot of activity. The problem, i’m learning, with being a book blog is that I post and then about 200 grade school kids post their assignments, topic feed fail. I’ll do another tonight and toward the end of next week and we can see how it goes, i’d love a shout-out but you know i feel a bit short on chipmunk/slap bracelet selfies for the associated images… would you like me to draw an “if i had a slap bracelet” amateur stickfigure cartoon? it’s what i do when i’m short of relevant blog pics (apparently).

        Also considering a theme change but it’s just so darn hard to commit. Somehow this has turned into a longer reply than intended. I’ll just make it longer…I really want the nerdy stach glasses…

        1. Ha! A drawing would be AMAZING!!! And I feel your pain re: a theme change. It’s so hard to decide to make a big bloggy change, but for what it’s worth, it seems like any changes people make (that I’ve ever seen) are very well received. NOT that I think you need to make any!

            1. *doh* Okay could I be any more behind? And here you’re offering me a drawing! SQUEE! I was thinking of putting up the next Summer is Hot issue on Tues or Wed – does that give you enough time?? If not, I think I’ll do one more issue the following week! You rock!!!!

      1. Went to UOE, University of Emoticons. Graduated with honors. You and Jules really are one in the same, she asked me about this yesterday. 😉 It’s a colon followed by the word oops, followed by another colon, no space. And by colon I do mean the punctuation mark. 😳

  2. When I was leaving my job to run away with my husband, they threw a little farewell party for me for my last day. One of the board members I barely knew shook my hand and said, “Nicole, just remember you’ll always be welcomed back here, should your husband hit you for any reason.”

    That record scratch pretty much ended the party.

  3. Not a comp entry but something I’m compelled to share with you oh mustachioed one…….Please tell me you’ve seen the ‘Botched restoration painting’ story that’s doing the news rounds today, if not go to the BBC website and search for it……if I look at it once more today I may burst something laughing, but I feel it still needs a fake mustachio to really finish it off…..and possibly a chipmunk on his shoulder?

    1. Wow wow wow woweeeee! Thank you for making my day with this story (and Louise, thank you for posting the link!)! And yes! Chipmunk on the shoulder (funny enough, Louise, who posted the link, put a chipmunk on her shoulder for her ‘stache glasses winner’ picture!)!

  4. Me speaking with a man I barely about upcoming trip to Cuba.
    Me: I’ve been reading a lot about it to prepare, like how you can’t use the water even for brushing your teeth.
    Man I barely know: Yes, and you also have to be careful with your feminine washing because it’s so moist down there the bacteria will flourish.

    Me: …

    1. Oh speaker, leave it to you to drop an epic conversation bomb in this contest!

      Sometimes I think all people are inherently ‘the same,’ and then someone says something like that and I think, “Nope. NOPE. My mind would NEVER go there. Ever.”

      1. I hate the word moist. It ruins everything. It’s my friend’s most hated word, which got us into a conversation about those. Pretty sure mine is seep because it is responsible for seepage.
        Anyway someone talking to me about moist areas and flourishing bacteria I would not have handled at all well…

    1. L! I miss you! I’ve gotta get caught up on blogs. Your pictures for Peppermeister’s contest are AMAZING!!!!

      And I HOPE this one makes sense to everyone. That is so hilarious. And so sad. (Though I have to tell you, I met a girl from Toronto a few years ago -we were both in Seattle when we met- and she asked me where New York City was…)

  5. My husband is so well known for these…
    So we have another couple that lives in the apartment above us. We are really good friends and we normally get together every week to have a Game Night.

    Boyfriend: (to his girlfriend) You know what we haven’t done in awhile?
    My Husband: *Instantly jumps in. No pause* Had sex?

    The look on their faces was priceless, but it was still kind of embarrassing because my husband was making it sound like we did hear them when they do have sex (which we totally don’t!).

      1. Yeah… He always has a way to make everyone go “WTF?” or even gag a little. Like when we were speculating about homeless people going through a friend’s trash and having parties in the woods.

  6. No entry here. I am the proud owner of the same pair that your last winner is wearing. We are like mirrored handlebar mustache glass twinsies or something. Just wanted to say HI. Good luck to the participants!! 🙂

    1. Misty, I’ve purchased a refurbished Bat signal and switched it to a rhinestoned-mustache-shape. When you see it in the sky, please don your handlebar and meet me for drinks.

      1. Well, this is obviously further proof we are twins. Possibly seperated at birth. You said the magic word: Drinks. I will be scouring the sky for your signal, mustache at the ready!

  7. Seriously heard in my ear on my phone last night:

    “I’m was trying to listen to you, but you just use so many words. I started making dinner.”

    So awful. (Was I that awful to talk to in rel life?) I didn’t even burn or break anything during this convesation! Sheesh! 😉

  8. “Can someone drive me to the police station? I think I left my tambourine in the car!”
    That was a bit of a show stopper at a party a couple of years ago. And tambourine wasn’t even code for some kind of spectacular street drugs!

  9. It was Christmas and I was with my husband’s family around the table playing Apples to Apples. My father-in-law–a serious man in his late 60’s who looks just like Saddam Hussein–was reading a card and mistakenly said “orgasm” in the place of “organism.” Instantly, his face went beet red and he was not smiling. We all looked around at each other, unsure of how to react. Finally my husband cracked up which encouraged everyone else to let loose. The laughing continued until most of us were crying, but Saddam and his wife barely cracked a smile. It was the most awkwardly hilarious moment of my life. I felt so bad for laughing because they were SO serious…

  10. I was at a professional association dinner with colleagues – some I knew and some I didn’t, and we were talking about other colleagues. I dropped my voice down to that “just between us, dishing the dirt” tone and said “well, I heard about Mr. So-and-so that he..” when the woman next to me interrupted (thank God) and gestured to the guy sitting next to her. “Peg, have you met Mr. So-and-so?”

    “Why, NO!” I gushed “I’m so GLAD to meet you!”

  11. I’m not sure this actually counts as a conversation bomb – but it certainly sent everyone into hysterics.

    My two roommates and I, and my Mother were chatting in the kitchen and making dinner. The usual ‘How was your day’, ‘I hate my job’ etc. etc.
    I had put my bags down when I came in the door and I guess my Mother had just noticed the shopping bag with a pair of shoes and got up to try them on.

    While bent over, and at an awkwardly close position to one of my male roommates hips – she happened to say during a lull in conversation “Well, that’s the smallest Eight and a Half I’ve ever seen!”

    Cue: Rapid Misinterpretation.

  12. Contest bomb: My family went camping recently and we were sitting around the campfire enjoying a nice cocktail. I had some cherries that I boozed up with Maker’s Mark and we were comparing notes on how to pit a cherry. I shared a cool trick that I learned using a straw. (insert perv joke here) My friend randomly pipes in “I just bought a titanium straw the other day. You know, because it is food grade.” (WTF do you need a titanium straw for? And, no, I don’t think he has a titanium straw-worthy coke habit.) Awkward.

  13. sitting around the table at lunch in my office, I ask a friend for her knife (knowing that she has a clean, unused one in her bag). The man sitting next to me (to be clear, someone I don’t know at all well) licks his knife and offers it to me. I said I’d just wait for my friend to get her clean knife out, and he replies, “Why? I don’t have herpes. Or Hepatitis.”

    so many hilarious contest entries so far 🙂

  14. OH WAIT!!! I’ve got another one. I was having a conversation with a co-worker as we were walking through the office, and apparently the receptionist only caught the last part, when I said, “Well I don’t care what it comes out of, it TASTES GOOD!”
    The look on her face was perfection.

  15. I used to work at a hardware shop and I had a bad habbit of asking men “What size are your nuts?”. Some of the looks I got from older men might have killed kittens.

  16. Okay, I think I related this one in a post of mine a while back but here it is as a contest entry (Pick me! Pick me!)

    A bunch of us grad students were at the all-you-can-eat Indian buffet (where else would grad students be when not in class or crying in a corner?). I was relating a story about a fraternity hazing incident I’d just heard about. I can’t remember what the prank was, but one kid was seriously injured. Just as the waiter was walking up to the table to take the order, I was getting to the description of the injury: “And then he lost a testicle!”

    The waiter had been in the middle of taking a breath when I said that, and he just stood there, mouth agape, for a full second, and then he just turned on his heel and walked away.

    That phrase became code for whenever we were gossiping about someone and that person was spotted on his or her way into the room.

  17. I’m going to go all modern on this one and enter an EMAIL-CONVERSATION-BOMB, simply because I have to share with the internets the most hilarious sentence to grace my computer screen yesterday.

    In reference to the numerous training videos that we teachers have to watch at the start of each school year in my district, we were sent an email with instructions on how to access said videos.

    Last sentence of the email:

    “You do not have to be in any specific position to view the videos.”

  18. The best one I’ve ever heard was while watching the end of the movie Ghostbusters with friends. You know, the part when the Stay Puft Marshmallow man explodes all over, buries Sigourney Weaver’s character, and they dig through the marshmallow to saver her:

    Friend: “I’ve never understood why they don’t just eat her out.”

    Everyone else: Awkward pause – then hysterical laughter.

  19. Talking to a boyfriend in high school and my friend with no social skills interrupts the conversation and says, “Colleen told me you have a small d**k.” It was out of nowhere. I almost died. He was so mad. I had to lecture her that dudes are really sensitive about that and it’s not funny. She still tries flirting with guys, get really nervous, and then makes a totally not funny anatomical joke or goes in for the titty twister. Possibly why she has never had a boyfriend.

  20. “Your father offered to pay for an abortion when I was pregnant– could you pass the broccoli?”

    That sentence really happened. I couldn’t make that up even with a team of monkeys and Jim Gaffigan’s cousin’s talking bird.

  21. One of my seventh-grade students did a collage book report on “Romeo and Juliet.”
    In her plot summary, she wrote: “They got married and lived happily ever after.”
    (I suggested privately that the next time she was going to write a “book report” on something that every English teacher has ever read, she should Google the Cliff notes. I also pointed out that Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” was a play, not the 100-plus page or more book she was assigned to write about.)

    1. This is great! Was she Amish? I’m just trying to work out how how she missed out on all the pop culture re-enactments etc… Should I feel sorry for her? (illiterate? No tv? Child of broken home whose real life problems outstrip significance of literary masterpieces? Access only to ‘official’ texts rewritten for fascist (somewhat fairytale obsessed) dictatorship?). I just want to make sure I’m only laughing at the kid who thought they could fudge an R&J report…

  22. Context: Acting in a play, practicing stage combat in which I lean over and strangle a woman on the floor (I was playing a villain, mwahahaha!) Two fellow actors are onstage at this point and standing behind me. *Note: I am old and married. None of the other actors were either of those things.
    Me: (Doing the combat, pretending to be angry, choking the other actress but not really.)
    Actor Standing Behind Me: Damn. You have a sexy ass.
    THE END.

  23. In 5th grade while intensely discussing Mount St. Helens’ recent volcano eruption.

    Gawky, smiling 5’11” girl is sitting in the back of the room. Her arm raises.

    Mr. Crowley: Yes, Amanda.

    Amanda (in thick Arkansas accent): My grandma’s name is Helen.

    End scene.

    Oh how I need to do an entire post on Amanda…

  24. Strange, but all the conversation bombs that come to mind are from bad first dates. 😛

    Date: I noticed that you’re not drinking your coffee.
    Me: It tastes terrible. I think it’s burned and there are coffee grounds in it.
    Date: Give it to me. I’ll be the judge of that.

        1. On a first date? Seriously? I would swat your hand and buy you your own if you married me?!?! Who does that?!?! That is madness. And seriously… stay out of my desert… everyone. I mean it.

  25. Ok, this one stands out. Some old man speaking to a girlfriend of mine at a memorial service (the casket and body are about 15 feet away): “You weren’t always this quiet. Your husband must have put you in your place. Our kind of men are good at that.”

    Cue very awkward silence from the group.

  26. I met my future husband’s stodgy church going aunt and uncle when we were dating. We were at a bird show looking at some birds. We both liked pets at the time and thought about getting some breeding pairs. But what I said was “We’re interested in breeding.” They just stared at me. Uh, the birds, the birds!

  27. My conversation bomb:
    Context: Second day back at school (I am a teacher of 7- 9 year olds). I could tell that a group of boys at the back of the classroom weren’t concentrating on their work and seemed to be saying out-loud random letters. I discovered that the letters weren’t in fact that random during the moment that one boy called out S-E-X! This also coincidentally happened to be the moment that the class went silent. Cue horrified face from said boy, shocked silence from the class, thunderous look from me followed by a ‘chat’ with the culprit and eyes close to tears (not mine).
    I have to add that I had to turn away from the class at one point to hide the giggle that was threatening to burst out of me!

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