Fortunately for you, the dream-killing gene is not hereditary.
I only have two pairs left from Sun-Staches, but don’t worry – the winner can pick out any from the Sun-Staches website. Because I would never want you to feel like I felt when my mom, Babs, said I couldn’t get that Samantha American Girl doll. (And then she rubs it in 20 years later, telling me they made a Julie doll, who has blonde hair and drives a blue VW bug, just like I used to drive. And maybe Julie has roller-skates, too. And maybe it’s not too late and Christmas is just around the corner, Babs.)
All you’ve gotta do for a shot at a pair of sweet ‘stache glasses is tell me, in the comments section below, the most ridiculous thing for which you’re thankful.
Me? Dog costumes. Yup. Definitely dog costumes.
Someone needs to die. Like, now.
Deadline: MIDNIGHT EST, Saturday, November 24, 2012. (Winner announced Monday, November 26th.)
Isn’t she cute? I wonder if they make prescription ‘stache glasses…
Hannah’s entry delivered it all. Rather than copy and paste it here, I thought it would be more fun to act out. Because of course I did.
What do you think I’m doing here? Just giving sh*t away?
Thank you again for all of your spectacular entries, and congratulations, Hannah! Don’t forget to pick one of these ‘stache glasses and email me your address!
P.S. – Just WAIT ’til you see the giveaways/contests I have in store this month. For a partial sneak peek, here’s what I did last October.
Who cares that it’s Friday, all that matters is: It’s ‘stache glasses giveaway time!
I hope you were sitting down.
This month is EXTRA chipmunkalicious, because Sun-Staches sent me ‘stache glasses to give away for free! That’s how awesome you are!
They’re just…they’re just so…I can’t even…
To win a pair of Sun-Staches glasses, tell me in the comments section below about the funniest way to quit a job. What would you say? How would you make your grand exit? Whether or not you’re a disgruntled employee, I encourage you to go all out, and use some part of a current or previous job as inspiration. Extra points for puns and creative use of office supplies.
I’ll choose a favorite and announce it on Monday, October 1, 2012. The winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses from the below and I’ll have them shipped faster than you can say, “Does polygamy really only apply to multiple wives? Because I’ve looked this up and frankly it’s unclear. And, P.S., polyandry is not nearly as fun to say.”
Nicki’s the first person to let me pick a pair for her. Annnnd probably the last. But seriously. They’re beautiful.
Deadline: Midnight EST, Friday, September 28, 2012.
Print that’s way less fun than this video (thanks, Darla!): This giveaway is open to anyone who’s willing to enter and provide their mailing address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a comment in the comments section below, you can enter via email: Julie(dot)Davidoski(at)yahoo(dot)com. One submission per person.
It’s that time again, you hungover, sunburned burned-out Chipmunks (…just me?)!
These may get old eventually, but I doubt it.
To win fame and fortuneSun-Staches glasses like these, tell me in the comments section below about a conversation bomb you’ve witnessed. I’m talking about those conversation-stoppers that leave everyone scratching their heads, unsure whether to laugh or cry. (If you’d like some examples, why, allow me: Click here or here.)
I’ll choose a favorite and make their wildest dreams come true on Monday, September 3, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses (by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs.
Click this fine piece of chipmunk tail and you’ll be rewarded with an Alexha Sun-Staches bikini pic. You’re welcome.
Deadline: Midnight EST, Friday, August 31, 2012.
Print that’s way less fun than talking bears: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to enter, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a comment in the comments section below, you can enter via email: Julie(dot)Davidoski(at)yahoo(dot)com. One submission per person.
I love you so much.
I think about you all the time.
It’s time to ditch your insignificant other and come live with me.
You Chipmunks are so clever. That’s why I do these things.
And you’re no fools, either. Most of you wisely appealed to my vanity and/or fantasy life with your amazing ‘win a pair of mustache glasses‘ entries, in which I asked you to submit a juicy, probing question.
As promised, I have picked a favorite question and am answering it here. This particular entry really stuck with me; much like scorpion paperweights, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, even when I wanted to.
So please, raise your tiny, adorable, chipmunk paws and give a warm round of applause to…
If you and [your mom] Babs had a cage fight, who would win and how?
Louise, needless to say, it got really, really ugly between Babs and me. Before I reveal the winner of the cage fight, let me take you back in time, to how it all started…
Babs and I were spending another typical Saturday out shopping, me shielding her from mom jeans, her encouraging me to spend actual money. Of course we were ultimately killing time until booze o’clock. We figured we could make it until at least noon.
12:01pm.
A few [dozen] Long Island Iced Teas in, Babs decided she couldn’t stay away from Talbots any longer.
“If you do this, Babs, we’re through,” I threatened. Had she forgotten so soon? This was the very same clothing store that suggested, just one year ago, I try their curvy line of pants.
“Just five minutes,” she pleaded. I watched her pass through the wretched red doors in disbelief.
She emerged, as promised, five minutes later, wearing pleated khaki pants, a braided leather belt, white mock turtleneck and navy sweater vest with apples and pears stitched on it.
“I can’t even look at you,” I muttered.
“Listen, Chipmunk-san, do you want to take this to the cage?”
I considered her for a long moment. In that get-up, she wasn’t my mother. She was the enemy.
“You’re on!” I cried.
A Talbots saleswoman in a referee jersey appeared, and pretty soon we were pulling out our best roundhouse kicks and other things that people may or may not do while cage fighting.
“I loved you too much, was that the problem?” Babs cried, shielding herself from my [cute yet affordable] high-heeled kicks.
“You never bought me that American Girl doll!” I hollered back. “Samantha was all class, all the time! I had to learn how to eat petit fours by myself! What did you think was going to happen?”
“You never comment on my Facebook pictures,” she continued in the same martyred voice.
“Tap shoes! I said. “Remember those? Of course you don’t! I don’t either!” I ducked before she could ruin my make-up.
“And we never talk about ‘NSync anymore. Remember when you bedazzled that striped fleece shirt to say ‘Justin’ for the one concert?”
I narrowed my eyes, “Just for that, I’m never having kids.”
Babs paused, her fist in the air. She lowered her arm and replied, “Good. I don’t even like your dog.”
My jaw dropped. While I tried to gather myself, she clocked me right where it counts – in the heart.
And so, unsurprisingly, the winner of the cage fight is:
Babs.
She fights dirty.
Congrats, Louise! Email me your address and your ‘stache glasses of choice, and get ready to become the most illin’ chipmunk on the block!
Didja have fun? Should I make this a recurring contest? (With a new topic each time?)
Now that my slap bracelet giveaway/comeback campaign has wound down, I feel a little empty inside. Or I did, until I realized something.
‘Stache Glasses.
No caption could do these glasses justice.
Those amazing glasses in my header and profile picture! Why did I not buy them when I had the chance?! Back in April, I simply tried ’em on, took that picture, and moved on. While I loved them, the price tag seemed steep. I had no idea they’d become the new me.
Last week, I realized I had to rectify this grave error in judgment. Immediately. So I went hunting for that same pair of mustache-y goodness.
I was deeply moved to find there is an entire ARRAY of ‘stache glasses to tickle your follicle fancy. (Note: I am in no way associated with this company, but am happy to sell out at the first opportunity, so please. Email me.)
Now that I’m marvelously mustachioed once more…
…I am going to share my bacon with you.
That’s right. I want to send you a pair of mustache glasses! So, in the comments section below, ask me a juicy, probing question (PG-13 or safer please, Chipmunks; Babs [my mom] reads this blog).
I’llchoose a favorite and answer the question in a post on Friday, June 22, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses(by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs.
Deadline: 12pm noon EST, Thursday, June 21, 2012.
…I love you.
Print that’s as fine as that Liam guy from “90210”: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to ask a kick-chipmunk-tail question, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a question in the comments section below, you can ask your question via email: Julie (dot) Davidoski (at) yahoo (dot) com. Multiple submissions are acceptable.
Go Jules Go 