humor, PSAs

Be Careful What You Wish For

While mustaches are kinda my thing, and I constantly wax poetic (pun totally intended) about the merits of the handlebar, the Groucho, the walrus, etc., there’s something that’s bothered me for years.

Discovering the vanity-inspiring MacBook photo booth application, circa 2008.
Discovering the vanity-inspiring MacBook photo booth application, circa 2008.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

“It’s probably just a shadow,” I told myself. But it continued to eat away at me. For the next five years. I could have been curing cancer, saving tigers Britney, learning sign language, but I was simply too busy worrying about It.

So. Last week I went to the drug store and picked up this:

bleach-box
I didn’t think it was a good sign that this is what happened to the box when I opened it.

The instructions mandated that I test it out and wait 24 hours to see if it caused an allergic reaction.

“That’s probably wise,” I thought.

bleach-kit

Two seconds later, I was mixing the cream and slathering it on my face.

bleach-stache-apply
Go Jules Go: Living Life on the Edge Since…Today.

“If it starts burning, I’ll wipe it off,” I thought.

I waited the recommended 10 minutes, killing time by wondering if horse really tastes as good as people say, and whether Adam Levine’s tattoos make him more or less more sexy.

bleach-stache-2
Got shame?

I don’t think that shiz worked at all. Look!

DeepThoughts-Jules-mustache

No but seriously. I think it did the trick. Thank gawd. Now I have time to learn how to sign, “Is Adam Levine a vegetarian?”

Sooo… how about sharing your embarrassing personal grooming stories? No? Um, okay, well, gosh. This is awkward.

Just For Fun, Uncategorized

Ask Me About My ‘Stache…And Win Your Own!

So, I think it’s pretty clear I’m an addict.

I’m not even talking about the chipmunk thing.

They’ve been quiet lately. This concerns me.

Or the Second Husband fixation.

Quite frankly, committing to one husband is just plain near-sighted.

Or the vodka dependency.

They cancel each other out.

I’m talking about giveaways.

Now that my slap bracelet giveaway/comeback campaign has wound down, I feel a little empty inside. Or I did, until I realized something.

‘Stache Glasses.

No caption could do these glasses justice.

Those amazing glasses in my header and profile picture! Why did I not buy them when I had the chance?! Back in April, I simply tried ’em on, took that picture, and moved on. While I loved them, the price tag seemed steep. I had no idea they’d become the new me.

Last week, I realized I had to rectify this grave error in judgment. Immediately. So I went hunting for that same pair of mustache-y goodness.

I was deeply moved to find there is an entire ARRAY of ‘stache glasses to tickle your follicle fancy. (Note: I am in no way associated with this company, but am happy to sell out at the first opportunity, so please. Email me.)

Now that I’m marvelously mustachioed once more…

…I am going to share my bacon with you.

That’s right. I want to send you a pair of mustache glasses! So, in the comments section below, ask me a juicy, probing question (PG-13 or safer please, Chipmunks; Babs [my mom] reads this blog).

I’ll  choose a favorite and answer the question in a post on Friday, June 22, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses (by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs. 

Deadline: 12pm noon EST, Thursday, June 21, 2012.

…I love you.

Print that’s as fine as that Liam guy from “90210”: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to ask a kick-chipmunk-tail question, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a question in the comments section below, you can ask your question via email: Julie (dot) Davidoski (at) yahoo (dot) com. Multiple submissions are acceptable.