Ask Me About My ‘Stache…And Win Your Own!

So, I think it’s pretty clear I’m an addict.

I’m not even talking about the chipmunk thing.

They’ve been quiet lately. This concerns me.

Or the Second Husband fixation.

Quite frankly, committing to one husband is just plain near-sighted.

Or the vodka dependency.

They cancel each other out.

I’m talking about giveaways.

Now that my slap bracelet giveaway/comeback campaign has wound down, I feel a little empty inside. Or I did, until I realized something.

‘Stache Glasses.

No caption could do these glasses justice.

Those amazing glasses in my header and profile picture! Why did I not buy them when I had the chance?! Back in April, I simply tried ’em on, took that picture, and moved on. While I loved them, the price tag seemed steep. I had no idea they’d become the new me.

Last week, I realized I had to rectify this grave error in judgment. Immediately. So I went hunting for that same pair of mustache-y goodness.

I was deeply moved to find there is an entire ARRAY of ‘stache glasses to tickle your follicle fancy. (Note: I am in no way associated with this company, but am happy to sell out at the first opportunity, so please. Email me.)

Now that I’m marvelously mustachioed once more…

…I am going to share my bacon with you.

That’s right. I want to send you a pair of mustache glasses! So, in the comments section below, ask me a juicy, probing question (PG-13 or safer please, Chipmunks; Babs [my mom] reads this blog).

I’ll  choose a favorite and answer the question in a post on Friday, June 22, 2012. This winner can pick a pair of ‘stache glasses (by browsing here), and I’ll have them shipped as a gift, from my guilty pleasure-full heart to theirs. 

Deadline: 12pm noon EST, Thursday, June 21, 2012.

…I love you.

Print that’s as fine as that Liam guy from “90210”: This giveaway is open to anyone who is willing and able to ask a kick-chipmunk-tail question, and to email me their address in the event that they’re the winner. If you have any trouble leaving a question in the comments section below, you can ask your question via email: Julie (dot) Davidoski (at) yahoo (dot) com. Multiple submissions are acceptable.

113 responses to “Ask Me About My ‘Stache…And Win Your Own!

  1. Oh my goodness. I now realise my purpose on this earth. i once went to a pub where my friend worked just to witness a handlebar moustache convention, and this is totally true. i love a good handlebar, especially with waxed ends. what would your tache of choice be?

  2. If you had a dinosaur party, who would you invite? (i.e. You don’t want to offend the velociraptors, but they don’t make the best guests)…. 🙂 x

  3. So funny! Can I tell you I went searching for these as party favors for Cal’s BM but they are expensive. I was all: “$9.99? Whaaaat?” then I did the math and realized it would cost over $90 (don’t forget tax) to get those suckers – and, worse, my son said he thought a lot of kids would “probably just leave them on the floor.”

    Whaaat? Who are these children? I wondered. And should they still be on the guest list?

    Anyway, since I recently won your big giveaway, I should be disqualified (probably) but I did want to tell you that you look sizzlin’ like bacon in those glasses. 😉

    • Leave them on the floor?! Leave them on the floor?! The horror! Glad you decided to save your money! At Claire’s they were like $14! I mean, not even I would spend that on ‘stache glasses!

      Thank you very much – I think you in these glasses and that bikini would be too much for anyone to handle, so it’s probably good you opted out.

  4. That picture is of Liam from 90210? Hardlylooks like him! What’s my probing question – ah yes. Have you tried the new bacon ice cream from (I think) Burger King?

    • Hi Missy! I went back and looked at the Matt Lanter picture after you commented, and you’re right! Did you ever try to watch that “Vampires Suck” movie (“Twlight” spoof)? I couldn’t get through 10 minutes, even with him in it!

      Bacon ice cream…oh…so hard not to answer any questions (yet!)! 🙂

  5. have you ever tried the stache glasses on a chipmunk – if you have enough vodka and grapefruit juice this will make sense

  6. If you and Babs had a cage fight, who would win and how?

  7. Hahaha! We’d only be fighting over who emptied the Vodka bottle and forgot to bring another. Oh, no. I don’t even think that’s possible. We’d never forget!

  8. I’d like to see a pic of you twirling the end of the mustache while laughing maniacally. I mean…Could you please post a picture of you twirling the end of the mustache while laughing maniacally? I’d take evilly plotting, too.

    • Don’t forget the cape, Thoughtsy. She has to be wearing a cape.

      • I need a cat, also. Can I borrow Esme? Or, Erin (Catstache), are you reading this? Can I borrow Alex? And by “borrow” I mean “have forever.”

        Peg, the cape is totally a given. It will be purple and have “GJG” in glitter, naturally. OMG. Wait. I totally have a cape with glitter letters that say “GL,” from when I dressed up as Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter.

        Wow. How has THAT not come up before?

  9. hmmmm,,,, what if I could get a picture of Canada’s leading young iconic singer wearing said “Stache Glasses”?

  10. How adorable would Ben and Bella look in those glasses?! Obviously I would be too hot to handle.

    I cannot think of anything that wouldn’t be terribly inappropriate. I apologize for being an inappropriate kind of person.

    Here’s the best I got: If you had to have a lesbian encounter with one famous female celebrity who would you choose and why?

    • Ah, using ‘stache imagery featuring your adorable kids to increase your chances of a win, I LIKE IT 😉

      This question is making me even MORE curious about what your rated R questions are! (Email me.) LOL

    • Marta, I had to come back and tell you that I wrote about my ‘top 5’ last summer, and I don’t think it’s changed much – Mila Kunis still makes the list! 🙂

  11. So you have been Freshly Pressed and are now a WordPress Recommended Blogger. What is your next goal?

  12. My probing, incisive question, involves your thoughts on pork chop sideburns. Are they ever sexy? In case you need fuel for your musings:

    • Thoughtsy!! OMG. He HAS that toy!!! LOL He just chews on the curly part of the ‘stache, though. I should REALLY try to get a proper picture of him with it for my About page.

  13. Oh man. Every time i come to your blog and see that picture of you with those sunglasses on it brings me such mustachioed joy! You are so great doing these giveaways! I’m going to opt out of this one because i just don’t think i would wear the sunglasses as much as they should be worn but i love this idea! Also I’ve lost the envelope i got my prize in so i’ve lost your address. Would you mind emailing it to me so i can send you some mail?

    • Jules, help me! This was supposed to show up as a video. Curse my feeble techno skills – they have killed the funny.

      • LOL! No funny killed (although I don’t have sound until I get home tonight – poop)! I’m actually not sure how to embed the video either, but since the link works, it works for me! 🙂

  14. I think I’m developing a Pavlovian fear of coming up with interesting questions from my Question of the Week and 20 Questions interview stuff. I’m going to go have a lie down, maybe listen to some ocean sounds, and come back with a doozy!

  15. You are just such a giver. And OBVIOUSLY I must have those glasses.

    Hmmm, let’s see . . . question, question, gotta think of a question . . .

    How did you ever become such a glowingly beautiful and hilarious person? Was it all Babs’ influence or do you think you were just born that awesome? (I know it’s 2 questions, but let’s call it a follow up. Plus, I really need to know!). 😉

    • LOL No one knows ‘giver’ like you, Misty! I seriously love my cassette tape, and that mustache birthday card is one of my favorite things EVER. I keep it out in my craft room.

      What a wonderful question! As wonderful as me.

    • Jeez, Misty, can we say “suck-up” question? Jules is WAY too smart to fall for such an obvious ploy. Because in addition to being glowingly beautiful, she is really, really smart. And funny. Did I say luminous?

      • Nice try, Peg. But OBVIOUSLY Jules is not going to fall for your faux praise. Because not only is she smart and beautiful and glowing and kind and funny and talented and a giver to all people and a friend to all mustaches & chipmunks . . . she also has a very highly advanced bullshit detector! She knows when someone is genuinely praising her for her fabulous qualities (me!), and when someone such as yourself is just trying to get on her good side.

        Don’t fall for it, Jules!! She’s probably just buttering you up to get a vote for some random caption/short story/question of the week type contest! She’s ruthless.

        • I am deeply moved by you both. (I have that capability, you know, because on top of everything else, I have a sensitive heart of gold.)

        • Was it worth it, Misty? Sacrificing all our dignity and for what? Somebody else smoked us on the big prize. I’m not even going to comment on how the contest title CLEARLY said we were supposed to ask a question about the ‘stache.

          I feel so used.

          • Oh Peg. First, I find it completely adorable that you actually believe I have ANY dignity left to sacrifice. Did you forget that I’m a lawyer??? 😉

            Next, I totally missed that whole “question about the stache” thing until it was too late. Damn my reading comprehension!!

            And yes, we were TOTALLY robbed. We should at least get a consolation prize or something. I mean, what is this world coming to if now you can’t get ahead by blatant butt kIssing? Err, I mean, totally truthful and glowing praise to someone who totally deserves it. Yep, that’s exactly what I meant!!


          • LOL Er…you’re both right?? About everything. And I’m sorry. I love you. 😉

  16. Do you squeeze the bacon grease out before enjoying, or do you eat it in all it’s greasy glory?

  17. 🙂 😉 🙂
    Sorry, this is REALLY long, Jules.

    The setting:
    You’re walking down the sidewalk and it comes to a ‘T’.

    To your left, you see two adorably cute CHIPMUNKS, WITH Jules “glasses and mustaches” on their little Chipmunk faces.

    They look at you, smile lovingly, and then … oh my goodness, they start talking – all Narnia-esque – out loud, to you.

    *in squeaky Chipmunk voices, like Munchkins*
    “Jules, oh mighty Chipmunk-lover, we would like to spend just a few minutes of time with you and express our love and gratitude for all you have done to publicize our Chipmunk-ness.

    But alas, our ‘talking-spell’ will only last five minutes. Should you choose to go right on this sidewalk, we will turn back to regular Chipmunks again, sans glasses and ‘staches.”

    To your right, Second Husband beckons you.

    “Jules, it appears you have a choice between your two true loves [Editor’s note: Other than First Husband, of course].

    “I will be on this path for a mere five minutes. If you choose me, you will NOT be able to speak with the Chipmunks, learn their innermost secrets, and snap 14 exciting digital photos of the experience to share on your blog, which will surely be Freshly Pressed.

    Should you take the path towards me, you have five minutes to ask me any questions, share our love (this is PG-13 ‘love’, people!), and snap 16 digital photos of our experience together to share on your blog, which will be admired, but NOT Freshly Pressed.”

    The Question:
    You can only choose ONE path, which one will you choose?

    • OMG. I need duct tape over my mouth so I don’t blurt out the answer right now.

      This is truly inspired, MJ. Your 2,000nd tweet did not lie (and congrats on that!!).

      • Heck, maybe that SHOULD have been a blog post! I can’t believe how long it looks in your comments section. So sorry, Jules.

        And no blurting allowed, now!

        • Apologizing for a question featuring talking chipmunks and Second Husband?! Have you lost your mind?! 🙂

          • Hey Jules, check out my Gravatar. I had to prove Darla stole my coffee cup:

          • HA! She DID. And what’s she going to do once she sees those cool sunglasses?!

          • I must have that mug now. But I could never pull off such cool shades.

          • Pretty good reenactment, eh? The mug would go great with your blazer. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna send it to you. Seriously. It’s one of my faves, but it will be my gift to the SAM (shesamaineiac) plaid-lovin’ family. It’s an Eddie Bauer Home mug, too.

            Um, and yes, uh it’s “coffee” in my mug. Can’t prove it’s something else. Nanny nanny boo boo.

            Oh Jules, the shades – they’re Ray Ban Aviators that my peeps gave me as a gift when I left my last job. So nice of them, wasn’t it?

          • (gasp) What?! An Eddie Bauer mug? oh! The nerve! the audacity! Don’t you realize that considering I grew up in Freeport, land of L.L. Bean, they are my mortal enemy?! And, by the way, that plaid mug in my picture IS an actual
            L.L. Bean mug. (ok, I still covet yours, it’s actually kinda kick-ass…)

      • Blast. That was supposed to say 2,002nd tweet. I was trying to be super accurate, and I still made a typo. GOOD JOB, JULES. Geesh. I don’t even deserve this ‘stache.

    • Nice, MJ!

      by the way…what in the heck are you drinking? Mine isn’t coffee…ahem….

    • MJ, it seriously pained me to pick just one winner for this! Your question is delicious. And, there is absolutely, 100% no question that I would…

      GO RIGHT [into the arms of Second Husband]! Freshly Pressage be darned! I think the Chipmunks will understand. I cannot fight true love.

      I will now commence thinking about this for the rest of the day. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  18. My question is no doubt already been taken (don’t have time to sift through the million comments) but:

    Bacon or Darren?

    And why?

    Also-if I win those stache glasses, I will put up an avatar of myself wearing them for the rest of the year.

    • Darla, it has not been taken! MJ wanted to know about talking chipmunks vs. Darren, which is a totally different bacon game, I mean, ball game.

      OMG. Can we just talk about bacon, chipmunks and Second Husband forever? With the occasional handlebar ‘stache thrown in?

    • P.S. – I can SO picture that gravatar. And I’m not sure I like it. Because it would be way more awesome than mine.

  19. When did ‘stache change from meaning what a chipmunk is smoking to what a chipmunk is wearing above a lip? (As a twofer, do chipmunks have lips?)

  20. Haha, I have something similar. They are great boost of mood. Always makes people to laugh from you.

  21. Not my first time here, but it is my first comment, because how can I resist the chance to win such a TOTALLY COOL prize. The ‘stache glasses are the most magnificent things I have seen all year. A few weeks ago I attended a small literary festival where the attendees were divided into groups & each group had to solve a series of puzzles & ciphers to complete their challenge, and every challenge required a photo be taken of the group with a stranger wearing a fake mustache. MAN, would it have been awesome to have those glasses then.

    Anyway, sorry to be so long-winded about the glasses. My question is based on a supposition: Say there is one place you cannot wear ‘stache glasses, where would that be and why?

    • Mary, your first comment! I’m drinking champagne right now celebrate! And also because I’m addicted to champagne!

      haha! I am so intrigued by this mystery mustachioed man. Did he just wander around like Where’s Waldo, and you had to find him each time??

      There is no such thing as long-winded when it comes to my comments section. Look at me! (For all my brevity in blog posts, I can’t seem to do the same in comments!) This is an AWESOME question. My Chipmunk Goodness. How will I ever choose just one to answer?!

  22. Alright, I have an extremely serious and quite frankly, politically sensitive question to ask. I can forsee that we’re going to have opposing factions on this one. Things are about to get real up in here.

    Which picture is cuter:


  23. This is my probing question about mustaches: Is it true what they say, the bigger the mustache, the bigger…you know…do I have to spell it out?? Okay, the bigger the mustache, the bigger the mustache comb.

    • HA! Oh my. And here I’ve been trying to keep my comb collection under (foil) wraps… 😉

      P.S. – Thank you so much for the follow! That was very exciting to see! Angie (Childhood Relived) led me to you, and has only wonderful things to say about you, which have been backed up by my own reading/following your blog! 🙂

  24. Ummmmm……yeah…I’ll pass on this one. I found out I’m allergic to plastic mustaches….

  25. ‘Stachemonk, are you a project manager by day, and mustache manager by night? 🙂 — xo, your streamlined bff.

    • Ha ha! Why hello there my streamlined BFF – good to see you again! 🙂 I’m SO glad they didn’t streamline the design plans for these glasses – I want to “collect them all”!

  26. Oh how dearly I would love the ‘stache classes, but how horrible I am at coming up with witty one-liners! Do I go with a real question, a snarky question, or a cheeky, jokey nod to pop culture?

    Okay. I think I made my decision. I will honor the spirit of your blog by going with one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Here it goes:

    What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

  27. Okay:
    1. You sell the movie rights to your blog. Who plays you and your recurrent cast of characters?
    2. You buy a weed-eater that turns out to be a piece of junk, but you didn’t keep the receipt or warranty. You go back to the big store and buy a new one, along with a bunch of other stuff. While checking out, they forget to charge you for the new weed-eater, which is the same brand as the previous weed-eater. Do you ‘fess up? THIS QUESTION IS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL.
    3. What would your Ben & Jerry’s flavor be?
    4. If you could choose how the world ends, what manner would you choose?

    • Oooooh B-Man. 11:50am EST. Thank you for not making Baby Jesus cry (except from laughter).

      Promise me, no matter what happens, you’ll use #3 for your Weekly Question of the Week.

    • Oh thank baby Jesus, I can answer these questions now. You loooove to make my judging life gut-wrenching, B-Man, LOL But I’m holding out on 3 and 4, because I hope you use them for Question of the Week!

      1.) Well, obviously you and I are Patrick Dempsey and Katherine Heigl, and Second Husband is, well, Second Husband. I will also allow Paul Rudd to sub for Patrick, because I know how we both feel about Paul. Methinks Susan Sarandon could tackle the layers of Babs, but Babs is really more of a Sally Field, so I’m going Sally. Alec Baldwin must play my dad, even though he’s nothing like my dad. I want Amber Tamblyn to play Jenn. And Leonardo DiCaprio has to fit in someway, somehow. Maybe he could play a chipmunk. That’s right in his wheelhouse, no? Not that I’ve ever thought about this.

      Oops. I forgot Peppermeister. Okay. Leo is Peppermeister. Perfect.

      2.) I confess. Karma is a witch.

  28. Arghh and drat! Curse you EST! I’m a west coast slow-poke. My cup runneth over in the fake mustache department, so I’d rather some poor mustacheless soul win this prize. Everyone should have at least one fab faux mustache! But here’s my question for you anyway, Jules. Dark chocolate, white chocolate or milk chocolate peanut butter cups? Also, do you think the peanut butter/ chocolate ratio is thrown off or improved in the Reese’s “Big Cup”?

    • Oh blast, Rian! But never fear! I think a) I’ll make this a recurring contest, and b) my ego is definitely big enough that I’ll want to come back and answer everyone’s questions regardless of the winner, LOL And I don’t know if you already knew how I felt about Reese’s p.b. cups when you asked this, but if you didn’t, you are psychic. (My favorite candy. Or as you now-Canadians would say, favourite.)

  29. I will automatically remove myself from this contest since it would be a huge conflict of interest considering I do a lot of business with chipmunks. They buy black market pudding pops from me. (Shhhhhhhh.)

    Jules! Your posts aren’t appearing in my reader! I checked over to see what happened to you and it’s like a postapalooza over here! Can you ever forgive me and do you still love me? Please say yes.

    I thought I refollowed you after your name change but I’ll do it again.

    • I suspected as much about you and the chipmunks. I think they’re what’s behind getting me out of people’s readers, because the general chipmunk population doesn’t care for my life coaches, Zest and Zeal. Not that I blame them.

  30. Damnit, Jules! I missed the deadline. Damnit me, I guess. I’m going to give you a question anyway just in case that was a fake deadline. So I watched this French movie called La Moustache a while back. I was with the husband, my brother and his wife. We put the movie on for kicks and giggles. How could a whole movie be about a mustache?? We were in hysterics when the first line of the movie was, “So what would you do if I shaved off my mustache?” (But in French, of course.) The movie picked up from there. By the end of it, you didn’t know if the mustache was real or fake or if the movie even had a plot. We all started talking about how no one has mustaches anymore. All of a sudden we looked at my brother Jake, looked at each other, and almost simultaneously said, ” Wait, Jake, YOU have a mustache!” It was as if we had never noticed, but there it was right on his face. If you see the movie (which I don’t know if I recommend) you would understand why this is funny. The progression sneaked up on us I guess. First Jake had a stubbly beard, then he did the soul patch thing, followed by a variation of the goatee, only to all of a sudden HAVE A MUSTACHE (even though he’s had it for a very long time). Just yesterday I noticed that Jake’s mustache is becoming increasingly hipster.

    I think that’s definitely one of those you-had-to-be-there stories, but it leads me to my question: Have you ever suddenly realized something about yourself (or had someone bring a quality or trait to your attention), good or bad, and it shocked you? Kind of like an epiphany? If so, what was it and were you wearing your mustache glasses at the time? I think you look very sophisticated in them, btw.

  31. Wow. That was a long, rambling, nonsensical comment. I’m with The Byronic Man and I want to know what your Ben and Jerry flavor would be. Also, just like Angie, your posts aren’t showing up in my reader, either. What’s up, WordPress?

    • ha ha! Rache, I love when someone thinks something doesn’t make sense and it makes such perfect sense to me. It’s like it gives me a place in this world, you know?

      Speaking of French movies and your Reader, WordPress can le suck it. I’ve had so many problems with that Reader (merde!)! But s’il vous plaît hold your le sighs, because I think I DEFINITELY have to make this a recurring contest…right? (How do you say “duh” in French?)

  32. Those are the coolest pair of glasses ever. And oh my God I love bacon! What’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten that had bacon as an ingredient? One time I went to Denny’s and had bacon flapjacks. Sadly, I missed out on the time they had the maple bacon sundae.

    Also, I’ve nominated you for the beautiful blogger award!

    • Right?! When I saw there was a whole SERIES of mustache glasses, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Oh, bacon and pancakes or anything syrupy is just divine. Unfortunately the contest is over now, but I think I’ll make it a recurring thing, and now I get to answer everyone’s awesome questions here, heh! I think the best thing is the Mo’s Chocolate Bacon bar by Vosges.

      Thank you again SO much for the nomination 🙂

      • I’m not sure where/when I’d wear them if I ever got a pair, but I’d probably still just buy them just for the sake of buying them and saying I owned a pair. I really want some bacon now too. And you’re welcome for the nomination 🙂

  33. Shoot, I guess I missed your contest, I was going to ask “If Bethenny Frenkel can become a millionaire with “Skinny Girl Margarita’s”, why can’t we be skinny & rich? What new drink could we make a million on?” Oh, well…something to drink about. Giggle, did you get the word play.

    • Ha! Oh man – GREAT question! I’m definitely going to have to keep this contest going! And I read right over ‘drink about’ without drinking twice, ha!

      I think my drink would have to use bacon-flavored vodka, which apparently really DOES exist! I wonder if it would go with Godiva liquor….

  34. Good grief, Bacon flavored Vodka? Maybe a Mar-weenie (instead of martini)…needs more research. Cheers

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