Well, Chipmunks, I finally finished scrubbing dried dog blood off my bathroom walls, so you know what that means…
…Time to announce this month’s Sun-Staches ‘stache glasses giveaway winner!
Oh fine. I’ll back up.
I’d been pressuring encouraging my BFF, Jenn, and her dog, Shunderson, to come check out the local hiking trails with me. My town recently installed trailheads on my street, and I love exploring west Jersey’s splendor.
On Friday, Jenn agreed to come with me. We ate some Thanksgiving leftovers and headed out.
We made it about, oh, three-quarters of a mile when Shunderson bounded off the trail in search of squirrels. Or deer. Or dead bodies.
Which is when he got caught in a briar patch. He yelped, freed himself and forged ahead, undeterred.
But it was too late.
The cuts on Shunderson’s ear were small, but they bled a lot, and every time he shook his head, the wounds reopened. Witness the Psycho scene in my bathroom:
Anyway. So that happened. And, um, no animals were harmed during the making of this post let’s move on.
You Chipmunks had me howling like Shunderson with your November ‘Stache Glasses Giveaway entries.
I was so taken with one entry that I actually recited it to my family at the Thanksgiving dinner table. I think you’ll understand why:
That’s right, the winner is…
Heather from Sugar Free Thoughts!
I suppose it’s no surprise that this is the second time boxed wine has appeared as a ‘stache glasses winner.
You rock, Heather! I’ve got this pair of cat-stache glasses left, or you can pick any from the Sun-Staches website. (Just email me your pick and address!)
P.S. – The ‘stache glasses winner of the century is My Life is the Best Life, for donning her glasses during labor. Yes. Yes, I know. Awe-inspiring. Congratulations, MLISTBL!! You win a lifetime supply of r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Go Jules Go 
Congrats, Heather! I am going over to your blog to check it out, right now!
By the way, I’m pretty sure you misspelled restecp, it’s actually spelled r-e-s-t-e-c-p. Here’s proof from my English teacher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klz6IVHfHpY
Ha! Okay, I can’t watch the video now, but I’m already laughing.
Okay this is one of the first things I watched when I got home, and now I feel like the rest of my night will be a let-down from here.
I know, it’s legendary, right? Just watch everything from Ali G, you will not be disappointed.
I know. He really is great. I haven’t seen a lot, but what I have seen, I’ve loved. One of Peppermeister’s (my hub) friends calls me, “Me Julie” in an Ali G accent.
Aaaaaaai! Dat’z sum wicked shit, for real!
*Juuulieeee, when you turn me on, wit ya big babylons! Juuulieeee!* <<< Imagine me singing that…
When I see the clever things the winners write, I’m secretly glad I didn’t bother entering. Even so, I have to wonder whether ‘stache glasses are available with prescription lenses. On second thought, maybe it would be easier to keep my current glasses and just grow a mustache.
Sigh. Most of the time, I’m cool with the whole ovaries thing… but when it comes to facial hair, well… I might trade it all for the ability to grow a ‘stache.
That entry should be collected into a book entitled The Best Thanksgiving Thankful Thanks. I’m still working out the title. I think thanks should be put in there a couple more times.
Thanks so much for this great suggestion for which I am super thankful.
Thanks again!
Congrats to Heather! Worthy win, indeedy.
So sorry about the poor pup and the bloodbath. Julia was just telling me (for the milliionth time) last night that we need to get a dog for Christmas. Not sure I can handle the possible trauma of going out on a walk now, though.
Bloodbath! HA! I swear I’m not evil for making a joke about this; Jenn insisted I blog about it. (Okay. If she hadn’t, I would have begged. Like a dog.)
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GET A DOG.
I know, I know. I have wanted to have a dog again so badly for YEARS now. I am made to have a dog. I always tell Jim, once the kids are in college, he’s long dead and I’m living in a sea-side house with a big front porch, I’ll have two or three dogs and name them Larry, Moe and Curly.
Strictly speaking, you should get two dogs, so they have a dog buddy. But yes, you should get a dog. Dog’s are great.
Well there you go, DP. Don’t stop at one!
I want a second dog SO MUCH (duh), but here’s the thing:
1.) Can you really take TWO dogs everywhere? Right now, we can get away with taking him almost everywhere, but do people want TWO dogs at their house?
2.) At this point, do you really think Tio Jesse is willing to share the spotlight?
P.S. – I’m actually earnestly asking about the two dogs thing. Do you have trouble taking them both places? What about when you go away, asking someone to watch two dogs?
JD, my brother has two dogs and he tells me they’re much like kids, what’s one more? Your former carefree life and your house is pretty much destroyed by their presence now anyway.
aw, doggie buddies. Love that. And I’d get to knit two little doggie sweaters for them for Christmas.
Haha! Pretty brilliant, Heather.
Tori! I LOVE LOVE LOVED your entry. You were a finalist, for shizzle.
Boxed wine for the wine!! Um, I mean WIN. 😉
And oh dear lord, so much mad RESPECT to donning the stache glasses during LABOR. Wow, what presence of mind. Of course, that means that that baby will be the most incredibly smart and talented kid ever born because of it. I mean, except for my kids. Of course.
And holy dog blood bath! That is crazy. Was Uncle Jesse traumitized by his buddy’s profuse bleeding?
Misty, you win for being the first person to comment on the mustachioed labor – it’s the lawyer in you, isn’t it? You don’t miss a thing.
Uncle Jesse kept a safe distance, especially once the bathtub was involved. Now I realize how fortunate I am that his hair’s so thick – keeps him safe from the prickly bushes (which we’re ALWAYS trampling through)!
Personally, early in the morning on the way to catch my bus to school,,,I deposit those boxes of the nectar gods, in all of my neighbours recycle boxes hoping they will get a hint what to get me for xmas!
You are a genius. (Holy crap, I almost posted that comment with ‘genius’ misspelled. Classic.)
Poor doggie. Probably did even realize what happened. The life of a dog must be wonderful. Not a care in the world. 🙂 Congrats to Heather. 🙂
The life of Uncle Jesse is one to be coveted, I can tell you that without hesitation.
I remember going on a hike and the other person’s dog got his upper lip snagged on some barbed wire that has been discarded. Awful. Awful. He was fine, ultimately, but the yelping, the bleeding…
It’s a good thing the dog here was fine, or that could have been the worst Contest Winner Intro ever. “Here’s a dog who got wounded and bled and died. Oh, and congrats Heather!”
Ahhhhh that sounds awful. There is no more heart-breaking sound than a dog’s cry. (Not even a child’s. Annnnd this is why I don’t have kids.)
I think it still is the most disturbing giveaway intro ever. Or at least I like to tell myself that.
Stache glasses? In labor? She topped my wedding hijack for sure.
Why wasn’t Uncle Jesse wearing a cozy sweater on his jaunt through the woods? Perhaps argyle with a matching tweed hat?
No no, I think you’re both tied for major-life-event-stachey-greatness!
Funny you should mention that, because I DID just buy him a dapper new Christmas sweater. But I think it’s too small.
Also, I could totally email you about this, but, meh. We should plan another ‘local’ adventure – I’m so into that stuff, and knowing it ends in a great blog post is icing on the cake. And then we watch Julie and Julia. And drink.
You know what would take the cake here? If I wore ‘stache glasses while my future baby was being conceived!! I could do a video blog about it. Oh wait…
You could email me but why should the blogging community not know about our planned meet-ups? I think everyone only wishes they lived so close to you. I’m such a lucky girl!
So where do you propose we should meet up this time?? And I AM SO EXCITED to watch Julie and Julia with you. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Your wedding hijack was my inspiration for the ‘stache birth. True story.
You both give me a reason to keep living, and by living I obviously mean blogging.
I’m honored to be your ‘stache glasses inspiration!! Seriously. I am. When do we get to see a pic of a ‘stache glassed baby???
Oooer!!! That will be my next mission. ‘Stached glassed twee little Bob Marley!
All I can say is: Poor Puppy. I’m glad he’s okay.
You and me both! I was checking in with mom and pup all weekend just to be sure.
Is your dog named “Shunderson” after the character in “People Will Talk”? (My FAVORITE Cary Grant movie… possibly my favorite move of all time!)
I should let Jenn answer this! But YES! His name is very deliberate: Shunderson the dog is a pit-mix rescue, and was almost put down twice because he was supposedly aggressive, but both times, the person putting him down just couldn’t do it, because Shunderson was so clearly NOT aggressive.
So, like the movie character, he escaped near-certain death twice, and that’s how he came to be with Jenn.
Perfect!!!!
Haha, great entry…congrats to the winner!
And holy hell, that woman went through labor and still managed to take a pic with stache glasses? Wow! Amazeringgg. 😀
Thanks, Lilykins!! Isn’t that SO COOL? I feel like I need to name something after her son, immediately. Maybe a chipmunk stuffed animal? Is that enough?
Oh that poor pup! Thank goodness you can add veterinarian to your long list of accomplishments, Jules.
Congrats to the winner – great entry AND a great suggestion for life.
I wish, Peggles. Jenn did most of the care taking, while I held her drink. Equally important, though, really. (Actually, I wish I had a picture of THAT. Us on the floor, her holding Shunderson’s ear with gauze to stop the bleeding, me holding her vodka tonic to her mouth so she could sip from the straw. True friendship.)
Poor puppy!
I know! He’s such a sweet boy. Thank goodness it wasn’t anything major!
Holy balls!!! I won! I can’t believe it!!! Actually I can because 60% of the time boxed wine comedy wins every time. Or something like that. And the CAT STACHE GLASSES??? So very fitting since I have a cat collection/obsession. It was my only other option because my husband won’t let me get a monkey. Thanks Jules!!! I shall take pictures and LOTS of them because I plan on wearing them ALL. THE. TIME. ~ Cheers!
YOU WON!!!!!!! CONGRATS, HEATHER!!! And your cat-stache-glasses are ALREADY in the mail! (I know. It’s how I roll.) I’m so glad you like them – I actually had a feeling that would be your pick!
Thank YOU – this entry made me laugh so, so, SO many times.
Now I look like a jerk because I didn’t even leave any love for the poor bloody puppy. I hope he’s ok because he’s super cute even with blood all over him that in NO way makes him look like a a vicious killer. 🙂
Ha! I will give him your regards; I suspect he will milk this for quite some time to come.
I love that entry about the wine- At my house recycle day was known as “shame day” before we started laying off the sauce. Nothing like announcing your love of Negro Modelo and cheap Italian wine to the neighborhood
Laying off the sauce? Oh dear. I’m sorry to hear that. But hopefully this means you get to judge the neighbors now.
Peppermeister (my hub) loves Negro Modelo!
I have to admit, the boxed wine entry did have me laughing. And thinking back to almost every time my parents had been away, and the last day the bins went out before they would return…
And awwww poor puppy! Glad he was okay!
That one REALLY got me – I couldn’t stop laughing every time I thought of it! But there were SO many good ones; I was very proud of this round of entries!
Thank you! ME TOO.
I am glad Shunderson is ok. Things could have been much worse for him, seeing as how it was Black Friday and all. He might have been caught in a bargain socks frenzy at Macy’s.
I’m not sure who is funnier: Heather or Uncle Jesse. Darn it all, they both made me laugh.
Debbieeeee, I miss you when you’re not around!
And I said something similar to B Man the other day – I actually think we all would have been better off if I’d just gone shopping / drinking.
(Oh and I have to confess I stole the “you should see the other guy” joke from Jenn. She is funnier than me, and this is why she can never start a blog.)
I am glad I didn’t win because I hate cats and I would have no r-e-s-p-e-c-t for the -stache glasses. But I wish I had won anyway.
I’m going to start drinking boxed wine.
Poor pups! Ear cuts bleed a lot. Esme taught me that…little ear-scratching punk cat.
Ha! That’s right – who knows better than you! I was thinking of you every time I looked at that last lovely pair of cat-stache glasses!
Nothing starts a day quite like pictures of dog blood.
Well that’s what I always say.
🙂
Dogs have red blood? Hmm.
Wow! During labor! Holy crap that’s commitment. And I can’t believe the baby wasn’t named Jules.
Poor puppy-shwuppy 😦
The name ‘Uncle Jessie’ gets high marks for originality. Classic!
Awww poor Shunderson, they really do like to get into trouble don’t they? I remember when I was a kid we had our dog Sammy out on a walk on the farm and all of a sudden he tore off and started rolling in something very frantically, and wouldn’t you know it? It was a dead baby raccoon. I would really like to know what goes through their minds some times (or maybe not) so we spent the next several hours pulling those out, at least they were baby quills! 😉
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