Giveaway Junkie, I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

“Hold Onto Your Hats” Halloween Contest: The WINNERS!

A few weeks ago, I asked readers to submit wacky hat pictures, either hats they owned, or ones they designed. The winner would receive a jack-o-lantern (designed and carved by yours truly) and Sun-Staches mustache glasses, and the runner-up would also get some ‘stache glasses.

And now the time has come to announce the winner(s).

So. Let’s not waste any time here, Chipmunks. There’s candy to steal and kids to traumatize!

1st Place


Congratulations, Ladies! Now, let’s kick this Monster Mash up a notch… Misty, here is part one of your prize, a custom jack-o-lantern from yours truly – featuring your favorite mac and cheese maker! (Wait for it…)


This will all make sense soon. If you know Misty. If not, it’s still cool. …Right? Well hey. Ha. I had fun.


While I designed this pattern, I used the Pumpkin Masters method of poking holes into the pumpkin to transfer the pattern. And no, they didn’t compensate me in any way to say that. In fact, never mind. I transferred this pattern using only the powers of my mind.


There are So. Many. Jokes. about Cracker Barrel here. But I won’t. Because I love Misty. And mac and cheese is delicious, wherever it comes from.


Congratulations, Misty and Speaker7! I’ll be in touch via email to award you with all that is ‘stache-y.

Thank you so much for playing along, Chipmunks! This contest is one of my faaaavorite things. EVER.

Happy Halloween!

Giveaway Junkie

“Hold Onto Your Hats” Halloween Contest: The Entrants!

Well, by the time you’re reading this, I may be under water and/or without power thanks to Hurricane Sandy, but luckily, your favorite project manager planned ahead!

A BIG thank you to the below “Hold Onto Your Hats” contest entrants – you just really get it, don’t you? I’ll announce the winner and runner-up at 6am EST on Halloween (Wednesday, October 31st), as planned!

Click on any of the pictures to access the entrant’s blog page. (Yeah. That’s right. We’re fancy at Go Jules Go. Wait’ll you see Wednesday’s post.) Listed in the order in which they were received:

Thanks again, Chipmunks! Stay safe out there – and by that I mean, let someone else check your candy for razor blades. You don’t have time for that. You’ve got blogs to read.

Giveaway Junkie

Halloween Contest Deadline EXTENDED: Oct 27th!

I’m ready. I’m so ready.

**The blonde strikes again. The deadline is midnight EST on SATURDAY, OCT 27th. Trying to give folks some weekend time!** 

Oh my. I haven’t seen too many Halloween Contest entries yet, but I’m sure it’s not because you doubt my gourd-cutting prowess. I think all of us Chipmunks are going a little… No. No. No, I’m not going to say nuts.

I am above such feeble puns.

But I am not above this.

And you deserve better.

You deserve, say, a custom jack-o-lantern from your pal Jules! And a pair of Sun-Staches mustache glasses! Yeah!

You can win exactly that if you enter Hold Onto Your Hats: My Halloween Contest!

All ya gotta do is send me a hat picture. If the rules were unclear, I apologize. You can design the hat or use a wacky one you already have.

The pumpkin I carved for last year’s winner (Deb Bryan a.k.a. The Monster in Your Closet). No…it’s not giving the middle finger. We’ve been through this.

If you want to stay anonymous, you can put the hat on a pet or stuffed animal, or I will gladly superimpose a head of your my choosing onto the picture before posting it.

Submit your pictures via emailTwitter, or your blog (just be sure to let me know you’ve done so).


P.S. – I love you so much. If you were a candy bar, you’d be king size and all those crappy little fun size bars would hate you. And you’d be nutty, of course. …Dammit.

Food, Marriage

I Tasted Another Man’s Peppers

Chipmunks, when I dream, I dream big bad.

And by dream I mean scheme.

I set my sights on things like embarrassing my friends. Or my in-laws. Or my web design classmates.

It almost never backfires. (Except for when it always backfires.)

Up until last week, I was still dissatisfied, though. A nagging, long-time dream eluded me:

Making my Current Husband, Peppermeister, jealous.

You see,  he’s always been incredibly secure, and, well, it’s maddening. Like, who is he to steal all the confidence in the world and leave nothing for the rest of us? Am I right?

What’s more, in order to keep the relationship balanced, I assumed the surplus jealousy he was unwilling to feel. Exhausting.

I yearned to put this pepper-lover in his place.

I tried talking about other men, crafting elaborate schemes to secure a second husband, flaunting my assets… Nothing. Nary a raised eyebrow or passive-aggressive-taking-of-the-last-Hot-Pocket.


The closest I ever came? Justin Timberlake hosting Saturday Night Live:

“You know he’s not as funny as you think he is,” Peppermeister commented, watching me howl as J.T. brought it on down to Omelet-ville.

My heart fluttered. Could this be it? Was it not perfect teeth, rock hard abs, unfathomable wealth and a melodious voice, but another man’s comedic talent that would rile him?

“Are you jealous?” I asked.

“No. I’m funnier,” Peppermeister calmly replied.

Double argh!

Is it time to finally give up and accept his constant praise and unconditional support? I wondered.

Then, as if the chipmunk gods had spoken, last week Peppermeister caught sight of something resting on the kitchen counter:

“What the hell is this?” he asked, eyes as fiery as his homemade sriracha sauce.


“Oh that?” I batted my eyelashes. “This guy at work gave it to me. He said he has more peppers than he knows what to do with.”

I paused.

“And you don’t grow that kind.”

“This isn’t organic,” he spat.

“He said they were,” I replied innocently.

“Get this out of my kitchen.”

“He sits right next to me,” I sighed. “I just love the regular bell peppers.”

He stormed out of the kitchen, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

At last.

At long last.

So. What keeps your relationship spicy? (PG-rated, please, Chipmunks.)

***BLOGGY NOTE(S): The deadline for my “Hold Onto Your Hats” Halloween Contest is Oct 27th! The prize is amazing: A jack-o-lantern designed and carved just for you by yours truly…and Sun-Staches mustache glasses!

Also? I’m sorry I’ve been pretty M.I.A. lately; lots of fun things to share with you soon. In the meantime, please know that you and blogging are an important part of my life. I really mean that. I hope it makes you as uncomfortable as my coworker [with the bell peppers] would be if he read this post.***

Family Ties, Giveaway Junkie, Uncle Jesse

Canvas Print Giveaway Winner!

Happy Monday, Chipmunks!

Last Thursday, I asked you to submit a comment describing a sibling rivalry or ridiculous parental rule, and of course, you didn’t disappoint.

It’d make sense for me to now tell you some memorable sibling rivalry stories, but who wants to hear about the time I crushed my brother’s finger in the sliding door of Babs’ van, or when he sent me to the ER by hurling a baseball cap at my face and scratching my retina? I’m sure you don’t want to see the scars my sister has from both of us. Nah!

It’s time to announce the winner! This lucky guy or gal ‘munk gets a free 11 x 16-inch canvas print from Printcopia.

A print like the one I just gave my sis for her birthday:

Wait, you’re probably thinking, what’s going on in that picture?

Oh, well, thank you for asking.

Babs asked Peppermeister and I to leave Uncle Jesse at home on Saturday for my sister’s birthday celebration, because my niece would be there and she’s allergic to dogs.

An abomination!

Obviously, we couldn’t have him missing out on the festivities.

Isn’t he so cute? That pic is life-size, too, because he’s a li’l nugget. Wait…what were we doing again?

Oh right – the winner of the canvas print!

In typical blonde fashion, I forgot to find out if I could award the prize to non-U.S. residents, so I’ve selected a winner and a runner-up. If the winner can’t cash in on the canvas print, I’ll personally send them Sun-Staches ‘stache glasses instead, and the runner-up will receive the canvas print. Otherwise, the runner-up will receive the ‘stache glasses.

The Winner


I like the way you operate, my friend. And might I suggest your long-awaited revenge include a bag ‘o back hair?

Click here to read asoulwalker’s submission.

The Runner-Up


Brigitte, you should probably just go ahead and give this prize to your sister. I’m really scared of what she’ll do to you if you don’t.

Click here to read Brigitte’s submission.

Congratulations you two! I’ll follow-up with both of you via email to get your prizes situated.

Thanks again for your terrific submissions, and don’t forget there’s another contest happening RIGHT NOW – My Halloween contest! The prize is epic. Enter by Oct 27th!


For My Sister: Canvas Print Giveaway!

Dear Sis,

Who made you that cake, Sis? Not some g.d. slouch, I’ll tell you that much.

Today you turn thirty…something. But don’t worry – you don’t look a day over 18!  Must be all of that running and biking and swimming and not drinking and how are we related again?

Being the kind, compassionate sibling I am, I thought this was the perfect opportunity to remind you of my forthcoming inheritance. I mean, ha ha, the family’s not getting any younger, are they? (Are we? Are you? Is that what’s going on here? Families don’t keep secrets, Sis.)

Anyway, like I was saying. My inheritance: Babs’ photo albums.

Oh yes. Remember when I staked my claim long, long ago? As a kid, younger than you as ever, I’d creep into Mom’s craft area (by the way, nice of you to share part of your room for that), sit on the floor, and flip through her photo albums for hours.

Even before scrapbooking was ‘in,’ Babs created masterpieces. I’ve yet to see photo albums that rival hers. Oh, except yours, of course.

And one day? They’re mine. All mine.

Don’t worry, Sis, I’ll take pictures of the pages any time you want.

Of course, Uncle Jesse will be in all of them.

To soothe any hard feelings, I got you this lovely 11 x 14-inch canvas print from Printcopia.

There you are, right in the middle. I’d have competed too, but, you know. Don’t want to spill the drink.

Well. Technically they gave it to me. For free.

But it’s the thought that counts, right?

What’s more, Printcopia said I could give one away to a lucky reader! Yeah! Doesn’t that make you happy, too, Sis? To give something to one of my blog readers?

Happy Birthday! You’re welcome.




Let’s just say Babs is better with scrapbooking than she is with haircuts.

You heard correctly, Chipmunks – and all you have to do for a chance to win a free 11 x 14-inch canvas print like mine (but, you know, with your own pic… No you can’t use this one. Don’t be weird. Weird was so three days ago. Now we’re being satirical) from Printcopia is leave a comment below telling me a sibling rivalry story. If you don’t have any siblings, what ridiculous rules did your parents have when you were growing up? 

Deadline: 8am EST, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14th.

I will announce a favorite answer at 6am EST on Monday, October 15, 2012. The winner will receive a promotional code from Printcopia via email and can order their free print online, just like I did (it’s easy peasy)! Cool beans, Printcopia! Thanks!

I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

Homework is for Suckers and Weirdos

Well, Chipmunks, I promised to report back about my first HTML (web design) homework assignment, and if there’s one thing I do, it’s keep my word.

As you might recall, I had to create a basic web page featuring certain elements like an image and a list. Since content doesn’t matter in this kind of class, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to show my eccentric side. And yours. Thank you for your phenomenally weird suggestions. I think we can all agree we made my professor and classmates uncomfortable had fun.

Here’s the web page I we came up with (click on either image to enlarge):

Pretty special, huh? In case you’re wondering, the “wizard” link goes here, and the “She-Man” link goes here (thanks, Byronic Man and clemarchives!).

I also made a lasting impression when, in the first class, the professor brought up this page, and…

…I burst out laughing.

I was the only one.

Thank god you guys have a sense of humor.

Because apparently no one else does.

Has anyone else headed back to school this fall? If you could teach any class, what would it be (go ahead, be phenomenally weird again [please])?

P.S. – My next web page? I’ve Held My Father-in-Law’s Back Hair.