I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

Homework is for Suckers and Weirdos

Well, Chipmunks, I promised to report back about my first HTML (web design) homework assignment, and if there’s one thing I do, it’s keep my word.

As you might recall, I had to create a basic web page featuring certain elements like an image and a list. Since content doesn’t matter in this kind of class, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to show my eccentric side. And yours. Thank you for your phenomenally weird suggestions. I think we can all agree we made my professor and classmates uncomfortable had fun.

Here’s the web page I we came up with (click on either image to enlarge):

Pretty special, huh? In case you’re wondering, the “wizard” link goes here, and the “She-Man” link goes here (thanks, Byronic Man and clemarchives!).

I also made a lasting impression when, in the first class, the professor brought up this page, and…

…I burst out laughing.

I was the only one.

Thank god you guys have a sense of humor.

Because apparently no one else does.

Has anyone else headed back to school this fall? If you could teach any class, what would it be (go ahead, be phenomenally weird again [please])?

P.S. – My next web page? I’ve Held My Father-in-Law’s Back Hair.

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45 thoughts on “Homework is for Suckers and Weirdos”

  1. Ahhh! I love the line, “wouldn’t it be great if you could have a photo of Hasselfhoff in the center of your page?”

    Uh, no. No it would not be great.

    Speaking of your FIL’s back hair, does he know you posted about that on your blog?

    I would teach a class on how to shave your own back hair.

    1. Whoever wrote those instructional pages has a special place in my heart. Every now and then I’ll get to a line where they’re just absolutely messing with you. It’s as specacular as David’s chest hair (though not as spectacular as my FIL’s back hair).

      1. Nothing will ever be as spectacular as FIL’s back hair.

        (Oh, JD, I am sooooo procrastinating now….I really REALLY should be doing my homework and studying for my exam but here I am….chatting about chest hair….sigh….)

        1. HA! Preach. Oh and I didn’t answer your question before (I swear I would never AVOID such things… heh) – my FIL did know! I got the family blessing before putting up that post. I ain’t no fool.

  2. I would teach a class on how to get Darren Criss to marry you. (I would of course have married him first already, couldn’t risk anyone else gettin with him, but this would just be a hypothetical class.)

  3. I would teach a class on cold-calling people for shy people. People who don’t even like to call for pizza delivery. People whose heartbeats quicken at the thought of calling to make an appointment or to discuss their insurance policy. It would be great. I’d have a room of disconnected phones for them to practice with!

  4. Nicely done, Jules. 😀 Strangely, I’m looking forward to the next web page, back hair and all. 😉 I agree with Darla, it would NOT be great to have a picture of Hasselhoff on a web page, what the bleep was that site thinking?! 😆

    1. Speaker! Have you been taking Don’t Quote Lily’s Advanced Emoticons class?

      I’m not mentioning Hugo AGAIN, I’m just saying that SOMEONE who’s a regular feature on your blog might get jealz if you start plastering The Hoff front and center.

    1. Ren-zay, while I’m all for not letting facts get in the way of a good story, I swear on Uncle Jesse’s teeny, tiny head (which, incidentally, is full of big ideas*) that I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO LAUGHED.

      I would say people range in age from 18 to 60. So no excuse. It was actually bad. I thought I might go into one of those embarrassing fits where you try so hard to supress laughter that it turns into a mess. I was like, why am *I* embarrassed? You people should be ashamed! That’s the funniest shiz I’ve seen all day!

      *I may have written a song about this.

    2. I, too, am bemused by this. I busted out laughing when I saw it. Jules, I imagine if my sister and I had seen it together 15 or so years ago, we would’ve joined in the irrepressible laughter that makes people look at you as if you’ve grown an extra nine heads. 🙂

  5. That doesn’t even make sense that no one else laughed. That’s insane. Although if the problem was that they didn’t know who Hoff was, I really like thinking about what kinds of websites they must have the the instructor was in to.

    1. I know. I know! I was just telling Renée that it was actually a really awkward moment. No joke – everyone turned and looked at me when I burst out laughing! Like *I* was the weird one! I think the instructor gets it, though.

      The day that web page isn’t funny is the day I stop bringing up the wizard post.

  6. If there are multiple website showings like this throughout the class you just gotta wear ’em down! Those suckers have put up the anti-laugh wall to protect them from what may be their most awkward class, but if you keep chipping at them they will succumb.

    As far as a class… Hrm, well, that question made me think of that Youtube video that went viral a few years back of a woman who, hrm, I think she was painting the nails of a badger or something. Totally blanking, which is unfortunate because it was very informative and useful and I want to do that professionally!

  7. I am so enthralled by your new skill, I can’t tell you. You are doing great!

    I spent hours…HOURS, on my Parental Hearing Aid post. Not on the writing part – no, I slapped any-old shiz together in a few seconds, as usual. But I wanted 2 columns of “what they say” and “what they hear” with one line across from its counterpart and I couldn’t figure out how to do it to save my life. I’m sure that was the ONLY thing needed to make that the post of the century. Sigh.

  8. Wait, are you telling me that nobody else in your class thought that was laugh out loud snorting funny? What are you, in a class with robots? My god, girl! THAT needs to be your next web page…..the art and skill of teaching robots humor!

  9. There are too many serious people out there. Jules, Thank God for the likes of us – who can never be serious about anything. If I could teach a class it would be on how to LIGHTEN UP.

  10. How could they not laugh at the Hoff??? I met him once. Funny story. He is a very friendly guy!
    Keep up the good work! I expect there will be all sorts of bells and whistles on your blog really soon…

  11. That’s awesome! Good for you for busting out your sassiness in class! I just started a photography course and it’s been fun to go back. If I were to teach a course – if I had the knowledge and skills, I would love to teach photography on international bike trips…congrats on moving forward, but keeping it fun!! 🙂

  12. I’m late to the party, but good luck in your class. I’ve thought about doing the same if only so I could get on WP.org. Are you finding it helpful for that? Did you already need basic knowledge?

    I teach a creative writing class. Not too much weird about that, but all the students are submitting work a la 50 Shades of Grey. *Shudder*

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