Tag: Halloween

humor

Carving a Way: Lessons Learned from a Lifetime of Pumpkin Carving

Go Jules Go

Right now I’m staring down a bright orange, symmetrical pumpkin. “CARVE ME,” he’s whispering seductively. As I consider this new blank canvas, I can’t help but think back on all of the carvings I’ve done over the years decades. Sure, there are the actual carvings…

But then there’s the other kind, too. The pathways -relationships, careers, goals- we carve out for ourselves one stroke at a time. Wouldn’t it be great if we always knew the outcome when we set out with starry eyes and orange-handled knives? Or if someone gave us a book of patterns and all we had to do was choose our favorite one?

I’ll take option b(utt), please.

What if pumpkin carving lessons were actually life lessons we could learn from? Oh wait…

WARNING: Heavy-handed metaphors ahead.

LESSON #1 – Give Yourself Room to Breathe

Have you ever cut open the top of your pumpkin only to realize you can’t actually fit your hand inside to scoop out the guts? But you keep trying anyway? Several minutes later, with an aching paw, you face the inevitable and carve a larger hole, hoping it doesn’t infringe on your carving territory.

Lately, I’ve realized how often I say ‘yes’ to things only to later have to backpedal with profuse apologies and gut-wrenching guilt. Instead of knowing ahead of time that I need more space -in order to thrive, grow, and create- I dive into commitments and invitations blindly, not wanting to disappoint anyone. In the end, I wind up bruised and frustrated. The beauty of making this mistake so many times, though, is that I’m starting to learn just where the line needs to go.

Sorry. No can do. Working on a masterpiece here.

LESSON #2 – Prepare to Laugh at Yourself

If you’ve ever carved a pumpkin, you’ve probably had that “oh sh*t” moment when a crucial piece falls inside or your crescent moon winds up looking more like a misshapen croissant. Right then, time and effort (and maybe a few bucks) feel wasted.

Much like the $40 you spent on that pet torture device.

I have an independent streak as wide as Bob Ross’s fro, especially when it comes to pumpkin carving. Only a Jules original will do. Which means…my patterns usually suck at least a little. But I don’t care. Because they’re mine.

(I was told this one looks like he’s flipping someone off.)

One of the very best things about having this blog -besides how it connects me to you- is that it allows me to view every experience through a humorist’s lens. Dating, celebrity obsessions, missing thumbs, more dating… it’s all GREAT. The more embarrassing, the better.

LESSON #3 – The Right Tools Will Help You Succeed

Bigger is always better, right? Yeah, maybe when it comes to your Halloween candy haul, but definitely not when it comes to pumpkin carving knives. Those itty, bitty, jagged knives you find inside the $4.99 carving kits are actually the best! They’re sharper than a vampire’s fangs and handle detail really well.

Even in 2011, Uncle Jesse the Doodle Dog knew he’d score some pumpkin guts if he waited long enough.

Last winter, I was extremely depressed. For months. By the time I started to turn a corner, a global pandemic slammed us. This year, I decided to arm myself with a fully loaded toolkit to combat those winter blues. (It also helps that I won’t be kicking off the season by moving during a ridiculous snowstorm.) I’ve got plans to see family for Christmas (unlike last year), a backlog of exciting creative projects, and a car that doesn’t slide down icy hills. Bring it, Winter 2020.

But maybe don’t bring it too much.

LESSON #4 – There’s ALWAYS a Messy Part

Before you can even start carving, there’s the decidedly sticky process of ripping out your pumpkin’s guts. I hate this part. Everyone hates this part.

If you don’t hate this part, I’m very concerned for you and also will you please come over and help me with my pumpkin?

An hour later, though, the gooey gore is a distant memory as you sit cross-legged in your darkened closet, shouting for the nearest family member to come admire your handiwork.

“Guys. GUYS. It’s UNCLE JESSE. *PLAYING UNO.* …Why? I don’t need a ‘why’!!!”

This life lesson is one of the more obvious, but it bears repeating. Just like the old “caterpillar into a butterfly” metaphor, anything beautiful that I have ever carved -in pumpkins or in life- has only come after “the goo stage.”

Or the very sweaty, painful stage.

LESSON #5 – …And There’s ALWAYS a Light at the End Bottom of the Tunnel Jack-o-Lantern

What’s that? You took your lopsided croissant moon and turned it into a full moon? Your one-fanged vampire has decided to embrace his flaws? Your black cat looks creepier without a tail? You did it! You figured out life!

Because your life IS a work of art.

Even when it isn’t.

Very little ever goes according to plan, even when we have the perfect tools, the perfect pattern, the perfect pumpkin. But if you can roll with it? Your (jack-o-lantern) light will shine brighter than them all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Giveaway Junkie, I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

Are Polygamist Pumpkins Legal?

Go Jules Go

Whew, I’m exhausted from sorting through all of the entries to my Halloween contest! I barely had time to dust off my slutty chipmunk costume.

Ha ha ha. Just kidding.

There were only two entries.

And I loved them all both. Almost as much as I love my sister wife and our 47 children.

img_2157
My real-life sister and I took things to the next level this Halloween.

In fact, I loved your entries so much that I tossed them into my cauldron and brewed up a batch of winning for everyone!  That’s right. For the first time in Go Jules Go Halloween contest history, I’ve combined your entries into a single jack-o-lantern carving!

Congratulations Lone Grey Squirrel and Peg-o-Legs Ramblings! You WON!

In response to my question, How would the world look if YOU were in charge?, you submitted the following gems:

halloween-2016-lone-grey-squirrel

halloween-2016-peg-o-leg

Now that we have our winners, it’s time to get down to carving business. As usual, I was filled with self-doubt. Could I come up with a design worthy of Peg-o-Leg and Lone Grey Squirrel’s submissions? My fears compounded after visiting Rise of the Jack-o-Lanterns.

img_2038
Babs (mom) isn’t sure I can hack it.

img_2123-1
Most of the carvings were a YUUGE hit. This one was just a six.

Based on Peg-o-Leg’s comment that if she ruled the world all IRS employees would have to wear the same uniform, the Julesie Crest Ensemble, I began my design.

img_2137

Next, the design transfer.

And lastly, the expert carving.

img_2143
If only you could see what my floor looked like at this moment.

Okay, so maybe you’re not impressed. Just wait until you hear what this REALLY is. A hacked up gourd? Oh, no, no, no.

In homage to Lone Grey Squirrel’s entry, this pumpkin is THE ultimate teaching tool for any Cat Sensitivity Training program – the only program of its kind aimed at reducing squirrel and chipmunk anxiety. If the felines fail to pay attention, all you need to do is turn out the lights, fire up a match, and BAM!

img_2150
A chipmunk crest will be forever emblazoned in their vision, turning them immediately vegetarian.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

img_2162
Don’t let #47 stay up too late eating candy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Giveaway Junkie, I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

Win A Custom Jack-o-Lantern from Go Jules Go!

Go Jules Go

Halloween-GoJulesGo

Yes. Yes. Yesyesyesyesyesyes!

It’s my favorite time of [the bloggy calendar] year! Time for…

The World’s Most Amazing Halloween Contest*

*according to me

The rules are always a little different, but the prize remains the same: A custom jack-o-lantern, designed and carved by yours truly. I base the design on you/your entry, and am so excited to see what this year will bring.

2011 Winner: Deb from The Monster in Your Closet

PumpkinPrep5_Deb

Pumpkin3_Deb

2012 Winner: Misty from Misty’s Laws

Pumpkin-GoJulesGo-2012-5

Pumpkin-GoJulesGo-2012-7

Jack-o-Lantern-GoJulesGo-Halloween-2012

The Rules

I mentioned in my last post that I made a spicy pepper-infused apple pie. Today you can find out it if it sank or swam on my hub, Peppermeister’s, blog.

Sometimes Frankensteining (eh? Get it?) a recipe together goes awry, other times it blows your mind.

To enter the contest, simply tell me about an unusual food or drink combo you’ve invented or sampled. You can a) leave it in the comments section below, b) blog about it and link back to this post (note: this contest is open to everyone – not just bloggers!), or c) email me: Julie.Davidoski@yahoo.com.

I’ll pick a winner based on insanity originality – it doesn’t matter if the recipe fails or flourishes, just that you gave it the old college try.

The Prize

A custom jack-o-lantern designed and carved by Go Jules Go.

Like this, only, you know, for you, instead of my dog, Uncle Jesse, (this is him cheating while playing Uno).
Like this, only, you know, for you. (This is my dog, Uncle Jesse, playing Uno, obviously.)

Oh and Uncle Jesse says there might be an autographed picture in your future.

He doesn't do this for just anyone, you know.
He doesn’t do this for just anyone, you know.

The Deadline

Monday, October 28th, midnight EST. Winner announced at 7am EST on Halloween, October 31st.

Happy Frankensteining!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Giveaway Junkie, I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

“Hold Onto Your Hats” Halloween Contest: The WINNERS!

Go Jules Go

A few weeks ago, I asked readers to submit wacky hat pictures, either hats they owned, or ones they designed. The winner would receive a jack-o-lantern (designed and carved by yours truly) and Sun-Staches mustache glasses, and the runner-up would also get some ‘stache glasses.

And now the time has come to announce the winner(s).

So. Let’s not waste any time here, Chipmunks. There’s candy to steal and kids to traumatize!

1st Place

Runner-Up

Congratulations, Ladies! Now, let’s kick this Monster Mash up a notch… Misty, here is part one of your prize, a custom jack-o-lantern from yours truly – featuring your favorite mac and cheese maker! (Wait for it…)

THE DESIGN

This will all make sense soon. If you know Misty. If not, it’s still cool. …Right? Well hey. Ha. I had fun.

THE TRANSFER

While I designed this pattern, I used the Pumpkin Masters method of poking holes into the pumpkin to transfer the pattern. And no, they didn’t compensate me in any way to say that. In fact, never mind. I transferred this pattern using only the powers of my mind.

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

There are So. Many. Jokes. about Cracker Barrel here. But I won’t. Because I love Misty. And mac and cheese is delicious, wherever it comes from.

 

Congratulations, Misty and Speaker7! I’ll be in touch via email to award you with all that is ‘stache-y.

Thank you so much for playing along, Chipmunks! This contest is one of my faaaavorite things. EVER.

Happy Halloween!

Giveaway Junkie

“Hold Onto Your Hats” Halloween Contest: The Entrants!

Go Jules Go

Well, by the time you’re reading this, I may be under water and/or without power thanks to Hurricane Sandy, but luckily, your favorite project manager planned ahead!

A BIG thank you to the below “Hold Onto Your Hats” contest entrants – you just really get it, don’t you? I’ll announce the winner and runner-up at 6am EST on Halloween (Wednesday, October 31st), as planned!

Click on any of the pictures to access the entrant’s blog page. (Yeah. That’s right. We’re fancy at Go Jules Go. Wait’ll you see Wednesday’s post.) Listed in the order in which they were received:

Thanks again, Chipmunks! Stay safe out there – and by that I mean, let someone else check your candy for razor blades. You don’t have time for that. You’ve got blogs to read.

Giveaway Junkie

Halloween Contest Deadline EXTENDED: Oct 27th!

Go Jules Go

I’m ready. I’m so ready.

**The blonde strikes again. The deadline is midnight EST on SATURDAY, OCT 27th. Trying to give folks some weekend time!** 

Oh my. I haven’t seen too many Halloween Contest entries yet, but I’m sure it’s not because you doubt my gourd-cutting prowess. I think all of us Chipmunks are going a little… No. No. No, I’m not going to say nuts.

I am above such feeble puns.

But I am not above this.

And you deserve better.

You deserve, say, a custom jack-o-lantern from your pal Jules! And a pair of Sun-Staches mustache glasses! Yeah!

You can win exactly that if you enter Hold Onto Your Hats: My Halloween Contest!

All ya gotta do is send me a hat picture. If the rules were unclear, I apologize. You can design the hat or use a wacky one you already have.

The pumpkin I carved for last year’s winner (Deb Bryan a.k.a. The Monster in Your Closet). No…it’s not giving the middle finger. We’ve been through this.

If you want to stay anonymous, you can put the hat on a pet or stuffed animal, or I will gladly superimpose a head of your my choosing onto the picture before posting it.

Submit your pictures via email, Twitter, or your blog (just be sure to let me know you’ve done so).

DEADLINE: MIDNIGHT EST Saturday, OCTOBER 27, 2012.

P.S. – I love you so much. If you were a candy bar, you’d be king size and all those crappy little fun size bars would hate you. And you’d be nutty, of course. …Dammit.

I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now

Happy Halloween, Chipmunkins!

Go Jules Go

First off, I’d like to give a Halloween shout-out to Mother Nature, for inspiring New Jersey to dress up like the North Pole this weekend. Very convincing and well executed, Garden State. Who needs power and running water, after all? (You don’t need it to gorge on peanut butter cups, and I guess that’s what really matters.)

Now let’s get this spooky party started, chubby-cheeked chipmunks!

I heard you couldn’t get enough of my jack-o-lanterns, so I thought I’d share some more of my finest fun-est creations. I’ve been carving one every year for the past 15 years.

Voyeur Pumpkin (Pumpkin Masters carving pattern, 2009)

Watch out, he's coming for you!

Oh no! He's coming for ME!

Headless Rider (Pumpkin Masters carving pattern, 2004)

Halloween Window (Pumpkin Masters carving pattern, 2007)

Uncle Jesse Playing Uno Pumpkin (a gojulesgo original, 2010)

He cheats.

Boyfriend Pumpkin (a gojulesgo original, 2006)

Pattern inspiration – Peppermeister‘s old band t-shirts:

What’s your favorite Halloween tradition?

P.S. – Stay tuned later this week for Uncle Jesse’s costume and other fun tricks and treats.