I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Vlogalicious

The (Power)Point Is… It’s Easy To Humiliate Your Friends

Chipmunks, I’ve never been one to hoard knowledge.

Especially when said knowledge can lead to embarrassment and/or blackmail and/or smugness.

Therefore, I give to you the following:

Any PowerPoint questions for me (or any tips to share?)? No? Any cross-dressing questions for The Byronic (Wo)Man? Don’t be shy.

89 thoughts on “The (Power)Point Is… It’s Easy To Humiliate Your Friends”

  1. I have a prehistoric version of power point. You know, the one where they draw on the cave walls…I must go cyber shopping at once. This is fabulous…

      1. Anyone who passed psych 101 could plainly see that those stache glasses are a thinly veiled attempt at making yourself look more like common ugly people. I applaud you making that effort, but your sense of humor has no such disguise.

  2. Jules,
    Hats off. I viewed this one with my colleagues (a marketing team). We had cupcakes, and coffee. Pat took a pee break, but the rest of us laughed. It also made us think about the good ol’times, back in 1907. Pat did come back, and laughed too. He also brought us back to speed, saying we had lots of work to do, if we wanted to meet our deadlines before the end of the world, in only a few weeks. But the cupcakes were good. So was the tutorial.
    Le Clown

    1. Le Clown,

      Now I know my office is even more inferior than I originally thought. Cupcakes?

      The only problem is, they don’t make ’em like they used to. Back in 1907.


  3. Holy crap! As one of those three people who has (repeatedly) asked for a tutorial, I can only say: Man, you make that look easy! :)I shall have to try. I e thing you didn’t show was HOW TO INSERT TEXT! That my main question! How do you add text and what size works best for a lead photo in a blog? Perhaps a sequel.

    Nice desk paraphernalia. 🙂

    1. You are welcome. 😉 You can insert text using the icon that’s right next to the insert picture button on the top ribbon. Then you can modify the size, color, etc. just like you would in a Word doc, or WordPress, etc. As for the best size, hmm, I think that totally depends on what you’re trying to do, and what font style you use.

      Now that I know how to do these screen recordings, maybe it’ll just be all PowerPoint tutorials, all the time.

      I think I’m going to make that drag pic my new wallpaper.

        1. You ahhhhh.

          I did, can you believe it? (The one part that sounds edited is actually just some glitch with the recording during the remove background bit.) Thank you! It helps when there’s no audience (I have stage fright)!

  4. I particularly appreciated the dance party. As I’m sure B-woman did. 😉

    And holy jeez, Jules! Way to smack me with some knowledge early this AM. I, of course, was enthralled by every word, and have now completely forgotten everything you taught me. It’s just how my mind operates, unfortunately. No offense to your amazing tutorial.

    Actually, since you have shown how incredibly good you are at this, every time I need a picture like that, I’ll just have YOU do it. Perfect, thanks for the offer. 😉

    1. I believe Darla is offering her services in the first comment. …Right?

      Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure B Woman is offering her services, too. Just look at that lipstick.

  5. It’s eerie how well you captured my dance moves. “I call this one, the ‘paint can shaker!'”

    It’s weird how you didn’t have time to include your “Crest Toothpaste” picture of yourself in there…

    1. I have no idea what you’re implying.

      The way I see it, you gave me that picture as a birthday present, and I’m still playing with it 7 months later. Which means it’s the best birthday present ever.

  6. Okay, you lost me about one minute in. (I have a Mac, and I basically just add text in when I’m in the preview mode.) Can I send embarrassing pictures of my friends and family directly to you, and have you do it?

        1. Ah – thank you! That’s what I thinking – it’s soooo much easier than Photoshop (at least, for now; I tried Photoshop for about 10 minutes and then went and curled up in a ball in my closet and wept).

          1. I’ve never used the standard version, only pro (cos I’m a graphic artist by trade — don’t think gaming crap, we’re talking kids illustrations and logos). I prefer it over Illustrator cos Illustrator is MUCH harder IMO. It may be whatever you’re used to using…

      1. Well, obviously that part is important. I figured we all knew it was so important that it didn’t need to be mentioned!
        And I wasn’t supposed to watch the video?? Dammit… I always get something wrong… that not having a life thing just gives me those extra minutes to fill and I watched it… it’s a weakness… I’ll beat it out of myself, don’t worry.

        1. Ha! In my eyes, you have two things, and they’re in conflict: 1) a life, and 2) great taste in blogs. It made choosing your path forward when watching the video very confusing, I’m sure.

          It’s okay. I believe in second chances.

  7. Jules, I didn’t understand a word of that (after the part about drinking heavily…there was a part about drinking heavily, wasn’t there?) but your presentation is da bomb! If I ever graduate up from the slate board and chalk that I USUALLY use for presentations, I’ll be sure to try these techniques.

    1. Thanks, Peggles! I find that the best way to learn is to find the proper motivation. By that I obviously mean booze (I see you read between the lines with this video) and bloggers in drag.

  8. You make powerpoint look and sound HOT. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: your voice is melodious.

    Two observations and questions:
    1. Is that a wrapping paper organizer behind your shoulder?
    2. How does By-Woman (see what I did there?) have such impressive posture? (S)he’s sitting so primly.

    1. Oh Rache. Keep talking. I think I sound like Lindsey Lohan after a weekend bender. (Except in my case, the bender consisted of vodka, the DVR and a 9pm bedtime.)

      1. Yes, it is but ONE of my wrapping paper organizers, thankyouverymuch.
      2. It’s the corset. (S)he never takes it off. (You said you were looking for more B Man secrets.)

  9. Oh my lord this was amazing. But I had a little trouble concentrating because your easy like Sunday morning voice was soothing me into a comatose state. Could you seriously just record yourself reading a phone book and send it to me? I will incorporate it into my daily meditation.

    You have no idea how much I needed this tutorial. Now if I could only get an upgrade from my ’98 version of PowerPoint I’d be good to go. Although, I love how my version allows you to insert smiley faces and make bubble words rotate and flash.

    1. In my heart of hearts, all I want is to sound like Bob Ross and for you to come out of your meditation sessions with the desire to do nothing but paint happy little trees.

      Vintage PowerPoint will make a comeback. I just know it. You should make a Caboodle collage, and also one for Topsy-Turvy hair things. Remember those?

  10. This is just so great. How have I never seen this picture? How do I take more classes from you? Mind you, I’m still broke, so for teaching me I can only provide praise and cookies.

    1. It’s not strictly mandatory, but better to wear them to be safe – you don’t want a PowerPoint cat-astrophe.

      Mmmkay. What is it about you that inspires the cheesy puns? You deserve better.

  11. I’m going to pass this on to friends who just send a status update about their pregnancy or engagement on Facebook. I’m going to ask them to stop dialing it in, and put the Jules flair on it.

  12. Thank you, thank you thank you! I have tried to do this by hand with paint and it was so time consuming and not perfect. I am going to save this and suggest that my first granddaughter is named after you. (Since it is impossible for me to have another child! I hope!)

  13. How did I not know how to do these things before? You have completely enlightened me and now I have to come up with funny pictures to manipulate in power point because I know how now. MWAHAHA.

  14. Interesting! I would have never thought of using Power Point for image editing but there you have it, you learn something new every day 🙂 thanks for that.

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