So things in hell are going well, thanks for asking. Selling your house For Sale By Owner during the holidays is super fun and festive.
I especially like it when the tree topper falls off and more lights go out every five g.d. seconds.
Speaking of tree toppers… Every year, my mom, Babs, decorates a beautiful, live tree and places her beloved star on top.
Not a star star, of course. Don’t be ridiculous.
Babs likes to stay current, as you can see, and was hemming and hawing over this year’s “star.”
“I just don’t know,” she sighed.
“Miley,” my dad replied, turning back to his New York Times and coffee.
Yes. The man who seemingly only put up with this tradition out of a desire to pick his battles, proved himself the fourth wise man of Christmas 2013.
Merry Christmas, Chipmunks!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Go Jules Go 
Love the tree toppers! I used to have a Snoopy toy dressed up in a Santa Claus outfit that i had made for it as my tree topper, but no more, just a regular old fairy that looks like a cabbage patch kid on the top of ours now. Merry Christmas to you!
Why, that sounds like an extraordinary fairy to me! Man. I think I asked for a new Cabbage Patch doll every year for about 8 years.
Merry Christmas, Vanessa-Jane! I hope you have a splendiferous holiday!
We’ve had Elvis on the top of the tree for many years now. Thank God it’s not the fat Elvis – that would have broken the branch.
Heh heh I should try leaving Santa a banana-peanut-butter-bacon sandwich this year!
Maybe then he’ll give me some house buyers for Christmas like I asked.
“Miley,” my dad replied. bwa hahaaaa! Thanks for my morning guffaw.
Question: how do you go to sleep at night knowing that she’s on top of your tree?
Also: Edward Cullen made an appearance in my post this morning as well. JINX!
JINX (for the ten billionth time…get out of my head!)!
I’m staying over [my parents’] tomorrow night, and insisted on taking the bedroom farthest from the tree.
Tree toppers and real estate agents, two thing that go away shortly after you use them… Merry Christmas!!!!
Ha! Boy will I be glad when this is a distant memory (the house selling, not Miley… I want to hold onto that memory for all the rest of my days)!
Merry Christmas!!
When they sell this house I will be dead. Then they will know what suffering is.. In your state do they have disclosures such as , ‘Has anyone resided in the house who had died of AIDS or has had chemo?” Oh California!
Oh, wow. No, but they certainly don’t make it easy in NJ. *grabs paper bag and starts hyperventilating for 87th time today*
First Twerkin’ Tree Topper in the history of Ever. Brilliant 🙂
Babs does not realize she’s sitting on a gold mine here.
Merry Christmas, Tori! 🙂
I’ll bet even the new Pope would get a kick out of this. He seems like a guy with a sense of humor, unlike the living corpses he replaced. I’ll let someone else comment about the stick Miley is perched on. You pitched that one right over the plate.
I’m biting my knuckles to keep from stealing any punchlines.
You have the restraint of a saint [Nick]! Happy holidays, my friend!
It’s like Christmas and Halloween combined.
YES. I’m urging Babs to use that in her marketing campaign when she takes this thing to the next level.
Best. Treetopper. Ever. Go Babs Go.
I’ve never been more proud of my parents. Except when they had me.
Lol, love the tree toppers! Merry Christmas! Chin up, next year HAS to be better for you than this year’s been. 😀
Oh my god, Babs is awesome! I love the “Star” treetopper idea!
Thanks, Thoughtsy! Happy New Year! I feel like we’re gonna need to start brainstorming now to [tree] top 2013’s star…
So wrong it’s…still so very, very wrong. Babs and Dad are da bomb.
Merry Christmas, Jules!
Happy New Year, Peggles (deja vu)! Babs and Mr. Babs were most definitely the driving force behind my original blog name. The Miley does not fall far from the Christmas tree.
Be careful. There’s a good chance she’ll start licking the ornaments.
Don’t worry. Babs hung the 2001 ‘NSync ones on the bottom.
This might be the single-most-awesome Christmas tradition I have seen thus far in my life. Your parents rock.
Thank you! I can’t argue with that. Especially when remembering what they put under the tree (and by that I mean VODKA).
Hilarious! Definitely well played!
Thank you! (Wait. I can’t take credit for this.)
hahahahaha
Babs is so awesome. Does she know how to twerk? I see another “How To” video in your future.
Oh. MY.
YES.
Your tree stars are awesome. Merry Christmas Jules!
Thank you so much, Sandy! Happy New Year!!
I was thinking of you this morning. Hope all is well and that you had a wonderful Christmas (in spite of).
That is fabulous. Babs never stops amazing me. I’m a little curious as to where the wrecking ball is, however. But still, stellar job!
I think Babs wishes she had a wrecking ball by this point in the New Year, especially because she and Mr. Babs couldn’t find any of those ‘tree bags.’
I’ve been wondering how things were going for you! Hell? Ay! I’m wishing you a wonderful 2014 filled with health and happiness and a house sold! Feliz Navidad, Jules!
Thank you so much, Maria, and Happy New Year! This ‘house showing’ business is FOR THE BIRDS!
Was your dad actually being helpful or was he in the middle of a lazy boy induced nap and just randomly shouted out Miley at just the right moment because his dream coincided with your mom’s pondering? You know what? This comment was funny and made sense in my head, but is clearly going nowhere so “eff” it. You’re welcome there, o queen of the chipmunks. Have a great Christmas, Jules! I hope that g d house sells one of these days!
Thanks, Don! ME TOO. I’m so in love with your Christmas family shot, by the way. Though it could have been improved with a ‘doodle.
…and when in the middle of the Christmas night, you’ll hear barely distinguishable scratching sounds and whispers of “ouch… ouch… ouch…”, you’ll know it’s Miley trying to twerk upon the tar and needle-covered Christmas tree, while singing “Twerkle twerkle little star”…
Ha! Amen! Just for that great joke I’m regifting you this Starbucks mug gift set.
I don’t think I could sleep at night, knowing that Miley Cyrus was twerking on my Christmas tree. (But, for some strange and mysterious reason, I’d be fine with either Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber. What gives?) Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Jules– House For Sale By Owner or not! xo
Thank you so much, Dana! Happy New Year to you! If I ever have kids, I think I’ll use the Miley angel instead of Elf on a Shelf to keep them in line.
Hilarious pics!
Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Hook! Happy New Year!
You too, Jules!
Stop, I’m so obsessed with your family. How hilarious 🙂
Merry Christmas, old friend 🙂
Happy New Year, Cappy!! 😀 I think I need to form a street team to manage Babs’ burgeoning fan club…
Babs’s tree is so RIGHT! I absolutely love all the versions of her “star.”
Right?!?! (See what I did there?) I cannot wait to sell this house so I can get my life back and get caught up with my favorite bloggers (psst – that means you)!
Just cruising blogs and stumbled into this one, and HOLY MOLY!! You had me at “Scrooge It”, then I saw the “star” tree toppers! I think I’m staying around and reading some more. Thank you for putting a smile on my face for the first time today. I’ve been so, well, SCROOGEY and this turned my sour mood around. I snorted, just sayin lol
Lolly! Hi! Thank you! I’m usually better at replying to comments (or at least better than I am at replacing lights on Christmas trees) – sorry this was so late! I hope there are many more smiles to come in 2014. Perhaps at Miley’s expense.
O….M……G…… WHERE did you get Miley??????
Oh, you don’t even KNOW how Babs (my mom) rolls. She MADE that shiz! Babs, meet Jennie. Jennie, Babs. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Hello Babs. Lol. I would seriously run out and buy that and use it wherever I possibly could.
I was just telling someone it should be the new ‘Elf on a Shelf.’ If Miley Angel couldn’t keep a kid in line during the days leading up to present-a-palooza, I don’t know who could!
You are so right!!
A single tear of happy joy is welling in my left eye waiting to trickle down my cheek slowly as I type this. I hope you had a merry Christmas.
Oh, that’s perfect, because I got you Kleenex for Christmas!
I’m afraid it’s a regift, though.
(Just go with it.)
very interesting blog , i follow you and will read you , and hope you the succeed, thanks for accepting me as a reader , happy new year
That is quite the tree topper! whoa….
I hope you had a Merry Christmas! I didn’t get near a computer for days!
Sus! I hear that! My whole life lately has been showing this house; I’m so out of the bloggy loop.
I hope you had a WONDERFUL holiday, and Happy New Year!
Thank you! We had a blast!
I hope your holidays were full of good cheer! Happy New Year to you! May it bring you all kids of prosperity, peace and love and bacon.
This is fabulous and disturbing. I love it!
Do you think fabulousanddisturbing.com is taken? Because I’ve been trying to convince Babs to start her own blog for AGES.
Totally worth looking into immediately!
Okay. Both fabulousanddisturbing.com and disturbinganfabulous.com are open.
#DECISIONS
Jules, In LOVE with both of your parents. And, YOU! I was cracking up at the tree toppers and then I saw the Miley one (cannot stand that girl) and fell on the floor. Hence, the profuse LOVING of your Babs and Pop. You people rock it. HARD!
Aw MAN! This comment is like a Christmas present wrapped in bacon. Thank you, Lizzy, and Happy New Year!
(I’m typing this while watching Christmas SNL reruns, and “D*** In A Box” is playing. I kind of think Justin should be the star every year for forever, but he already had his time to shine [on Babs’ tree] in 2001.)
hhahahaa! mmmmm…bacon….Happy New Year to you, too, Jules. You’ve made the start of my new year awesome already. Please give BigLizzy hugs to Babs and Mr. Babs. Coolest parents ever!
Gotta love Miley!
Miles tree topper is awesome!
Well done you for running a marathon! I think the build up, mental and physical training must be exhausting but completely rewarding.
Spinning is the most exhilarating I’ve got with sports but NOTHING beats the outside!
I write a views, news, tips site for twenty something’s.
Latest post is a giggle: have a look if you have a minute. http://thesignorina.com/2014/12/18/how-to-be-the-most-christmas/
Are you going to do marathon number 2?