This is precisely what happened to me (again) two weeks ago when I read an alarming update from my friend, Robin. Rather than fill you in on the details, I thought I’d let the wonderful woman herself handle the job!
Let’s all give a warm welcome to Robin (and her four-year-old son, who plays a…surprising…role in this tale)!
How does a day that started off normal end with a trip to the doctors, tweezers, and California Raisins?
Let’s start from the beginning…
Baby carrier in tow, I walk into my four year old’s classroom. He is peeing in the toilet, door wide open, a content look on his face – you do you, buddy! By the time I grab his bag, he has finished his business and I notice something on his ear.
In typical mom fashion, I lick my thumb and go to wipe his ear.
“Ow!” he winces.
Well, this can’t be good…
I lean in and take a closer look.
**shudder**
There is something IN HIS EAR.
Instant panic. Is it a bug? Is it poop (he was just in the bathroom)? Is it some other foreign object with which I am less familiar? I grab his hand and leave.
Sitting in the car I’m thinking, “What the actual f*ck is in your ear?” and I am not getting any straight answers. He is clearly exercising his right to plead the fifth. I call the pediatrician, who closes at 4:00, and hope they answer. They answer! I tear out of the parking lot, grilling this poor kid the whole way.
It took the entire drive to the office to get the full story. Apparently a little girl (who will not be named) was eating…wait for it….RAISINS at lunch and decided to put some in his ear. While listening I am wondering, Were you a willing participant in all this? Did she assault you? Should I tell the school? What the f*ck does a parent do in this situation? Also, note to this young lady with the raisins: not the way to make friends!
…Or is it?
Once inside the office the panic begins to subside. Luckily we have an amazing pediatrician who was willing to see us right away and calmly removed said RAISIN from William’s ear…all while providing a teachable moment in a stern doctor voice.
“Now you listen here young man. Just because your mom got an AMAZING story out of this…yeah, no, never mind. Definitely stay friends with that chick.”
The whole drive home, after the raisin extraction, I was thinking to myself what is the name of that cartoon…with the raisins who play instruments…they are in a band?…
Robin, I believe you’re referring to the Emmy Award-winning band, The California Raisins, who catapulted to popularity in the mid-1980s.
Now that things have settled down, I think you and your son can both enjoy (and hear) a trip down memory lane…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Any other surprising social media post-spottings out there?
I heard you like to laugh. At my expense. Sounds like you're ready to take our friendship to the next level. You won't be disappointed. I swear on teeny, tiny baby chipmunks.
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14 thoughts on “Maybe that Raisin was Just Trying to Get to California?”
The young lady is obviously developing a fruit fetish. Young man, keep this girl on a leash (maybe some day it will literally be… wait.. no.. keep it clean).
I’ve been mulling this over for days -DAYS!- and all I keep thinking is that she mistook Robin’s son for one of those dog treat toys where you shove the peanut butter inside and wait for Rover to have at it.
(And I say this with nothing but love for Robin’s son. Who is adorable. As adorable as watching a dog try to get peanut butter from inside a toy.)
As long as you didn’t lose any sleep over your pending reply, I don’t feel guilty. It was a grape reply, though. Seriously. I am not trying to peanut butter you up.
My friend woke up with a tiny cockroach in her ear… the tweezer extraction ripped it in half… the remainder got lodged even deeper… she had a bug phobia as it was… #thingscouldbeworsethanaraisin #justsayin’
Mmmkay. Let me get this straight. Now I have to be worried about swallowing spiders while I sleep, our president elect, AND cockroaches falling apart in my ear?
I’m going to need some raisins. It’s time to stress eat.
You could be sitting on a gold mine!! Babs (mom) kept a closetful of Happy Meal toys and Beanie Babies for years, but eventually had to make room for our ‘NSync memorabilia.
Had a similar situation with my son and a beanbag chair. The little white styrofoam pellets came out of the chair and one into his ear. We went to the doctor and my son would not allow anyone to touch his ear (which could get infected). We went home and watched him. Awhile later, the doctor called us to say he purchased a precise instrument specifically for getting things out of ears. We went to take him and realized that it had…fallen out on it’s own…
Scott
Go Jules Go 
The young lady is obviously developing a fruit fetish. Young man, keep this girl on a leash (maybe some day it will literally be… wait.. no.. keep it clean).
I’ve been mulling this over for days -DAYS!- and all I keep thinking is that she mistook Robin’s son for one of those dog treat toys where you shove the peanut butter inside and wait for Rover to have at it.
(And I say this with nothing but love for Robin’s son. Who is adorable. As adorable as watching a dog try to get peanut butter from inside a toy.)
As long as you didn’t lose any sleep over your pending reply, I don’t feel guilty. It was a grape reply, though. Seriously. I am not trying to peanut butter you up.
I think word puns should be mandatory on a Monday morning.
I’m gamy.
I wish I had not come back to comment. I just was struck with the image of Chekhov getting the ear worm in the Wrath of Khan.
KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!
My friend woke up with a tiny cockroach in her ear… the tweezer extraction ripped it in half… the remainder got lodged even deeper… she had a bug phobia as it was… #thingscouldbeworsethanaraisin #justsayin’
Mmmkay. Let me get this straight. Now I have to be worried about swallowing spiders while I sleep, our president elect, AND cockroaches falling apart in my ear?
I’m going to need some raisins. It’s time to stress eat.
Um….I was going to say something but I’m still recovering from the above comment. GAHHHHHH!!!! [shudders] [convulses] [collapses]
It took me two days to work up the nerve to click on my blog again after reading that comment.
Oh my lord. I was thinking cockroach, too, for a second, just because I read something about one getting in a lady’s ear on Facebook today. Gah!
Btw, I totally have a California Raisin figure on my shelf that I got out of a kid’s meal as a kid.
You could be sitting on a gold mine!! Babs (mom) kept a closetful of Happy Meal toys and Beanie Babies for years, but eventually had to make room for our ‘NSync memorabilia.
Ooh, makes me wonder whatever happened to that Justin puppet I had!
Had a similar situation with my son and a beanbag chair. The little white styrofoam pellets came out of the chair and one into his ear. We went to the doctor and my son would not allow anyone to touch his ear (which could get infected). We went home and watched him. Awhile later, the doctor called us to say he purchased a precise instrument specifically for getting things out of ears. We went to take him and realized that it had…fallen out on it’s own…
Scott