Blogging, Family Ties, Giveaway Junkie

Mother’s Day is NOT an Excuse for Licking Minivans (GIVEAWAY!)

Babs-I-love-Mom***DISCLAIMER: As with most Go Jules Go giveaways, this one is sponsored by yours truly. All opinions expressed belong to Numero Uno.***

Happy Mother’s Day, Childbearing Chipmunks!

I know I just wrote about how much I prefer dogs to kids, but I’m glad not everyone feels that way.

Babs Sheet Go Jules Go
Like Babs.

Last Mother’s Day, I went the epic haiku route, which as we all know, is impossible to top.

Or is it? (In one case, yes.)

Don't do it, Jules...
Don’t do it, Jules…

One of my favorite moms, Leanne Shirtliffe of Ironic Mom.com, has a NEW BOOK out this month! An actual book! She’s living the bloggy dream! Even The Bloggess is touting it, unsurprisingly, as “awesome.”

But… but…

Like any wise parent, Leanne knows the best reason for having kids is the writing material. Don’t Lick the Minivan (and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kidsfeatures uproarious tales from Leanne’s wild and wacky twin-filled world. I’m particularly excited to read about the birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.

She really used a bowl. I swear.
She really used a bowl. I swear.

While Babs never gave me any skin rashes, she did subject all three of her children to the infamous bowl haircut. And in a stroke of cruel genius, this year, she decided to have a garage sale on Mother’s Day, thereby guaranteeing slave labor during one of the hottest, muggiest Mother’s Day weekends on record.

So while my brother, sister and I are haggling, sweating and hopefully drinking from cleverly disguised water bottle-flasks, I thought I’d reward you fine folks with a giveaway! At least one of us should have some fun today.

GIVEAWAY

Dont-Lick-the-Minivan

One (1) copy of Don’t Lick the Minivan (and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids) by Leanne Shirtliffe. Will be shipped on or after May 22, 2013.

RULES

Simply leave a comment below describing a favorite ‘mom quote’ moment – either something your mother said (or loves to say…repeatedly…), or something you’ve said as a mom that you never thought you would. (For more great ‘mom quote’ moments, head over to Ironic Mom!)

I’ll ever-so-subjectively pick a winner based on humor and originality.

DEADLINE

Sunday, May 19, 2013, 12pm NOON EST. Winner announced Monday, May 20, 2013, 7am EST.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just For Fun, Uncategorized

A Mother’s Day Haiku: To Babs From Boo

Vintage Babs (left) and her sister in handmade threads.

What do you get for the woman who has everything? It’s an age-old question.

But really. What do you get for the woman who has everything?

She already has me, for chipmunk’s sake.

I asked myself this question time and time again over the past few weeks. My mom, Babs, is a very special, thoughtful lady, so not just any present would do for Mother’s Day. I could design a custom wine label, draw a picture of Bella and Edward, get tickets to see Daniel Radcliffe naked on Broadway, but, been there, done that.

Then, suddenly, a promising train of thought began…

Babs likes this blog…

…and Babs likes guilty pleasures (as you know, she taught this grasshopper everything)…

…and who doesn’t love haikus?! This entire blog has been a build-up to the grand poobah of all haikus, really.

So, Babs, grab a Long Island Iced Tea (or seven) and enjoy:

~*~

Shop ‘Til You Drop

You sure love shopping;
You say you can smell the mall
When we’re getting close.
 
This has worked out well,
For two daughters who like clothes.
“Hey, it was on sale.”
 
But sometimes I fear,
Retail therapy will cost
Us much more than dough.
 
Do you remember?
It wasn’t that long ago.
…You don’t remember?
 
Though we laughed later,
-Once we’d changed our underwear-
I was scarred for life.
 
You veered to the right,
Then we almost got side-swiped;
A g.d. close call.
 
Horns were a-honking,
My life flashed before my eyes,
But you didn’t care!
 
We almost died and
All we got was this picture
For my silly awesome blog:
 
 
Was it worth it, Babs?
Almost killing us to get
to Pier 1 Imports?

~*~

Happy Mother’s Day, Babs!

I’d also like to wish a very Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mother-in-law and my sisters (both in blood and in law)!

And to YOU, ‘o course! This includes moms of pets. Don’t let anyone tell you us it’s not EXACTLY like having real kids.

In Babs’s honor: Is there a store you’d die to get to?