What do you get for the woman who has everything? It’s an age-old question.
But really. What do you get for the woman who has everything?
She already has me, for chipmunk’s sake.
I asked myself this question time and time again over the past few weeks. My mom, Babs, is a very special, thoughtful lady, so not just any present would do for Mother’s Day. I could design a custom wine label, draw a picture of Bella and Edward, get tickets to see Daniel Radcliffe naked on Broadway, but, been there, done that.
Then, suddenly, a promising train of thought began…
Babs likes this blog…
…and Babs likes guilty pleasures (as you know, she taught this grasshopper everything)…
…and who doesn’t love haikus?! This entire blog has been a build-up to the grand poobah of all haikus, really.
So, Babs, grab a Long Island Iced Tea (or seven) and enjoy:
~*~
Shop ‘Til You Drop
You sure love shopping; You say you can smell the mall When we’re getting close. This has worked out well, For two daughters who like clothes. “Hey, it was on sale.” But sometimes I fear, Retail therapy will cost Us much more than dough. Do you remember? It wasn’t that long ago. …You don’t remember? Though we laughed later, -Once we’d changed our underwear- I was scarred for life. You veered to the right, Then we almost got side-swiped; A g.d. close call. Horns were a-honking, My life flashed before my eyes, But you didn’t care! We almost died and All we got was this picture For my
Was it worth it, Babs?
Almost killing us to get
to Pier 1 Imports?
~*~
Happy Mother’s Day, Babs!
I’d also like to wish a very Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mother-in-law and my sisters (both in blood and in law)!
And to YOU, ‘o course! This includes moms of pets. Don’t let anyone tell you us it’s not EXACTLY like having real kids.
In Babs’s honor: Is there a store you’d die to get to?
Go Jules Go 
My memory’s lost,
But my heart’s overflowing.
Beautiful Chipmunk!
Ah Babs. A haiku reply! Brilliant. No wonder I turned out so awesome.
Can your mom adopt me? Please?? I would have made this a haiku, but my family sort of sucks, so we do not have this skill. Do you see why I need to join your family, stat?? 🙂
I saw Babs today, and she mentioned this comment. I think you’re in. 😉
Your mum and Ta are TOO beautiful! I think wearing the “I Heart Ma” tshirt is present enough but the extended version haiku is amazing…Not sure what shop but it probably involves food. Hope this posts–couldn’t to Bryonic’s yesterday…
Either my posts aren’t showing up on some people’s Reader Lists, and/or comments are spotty, or a whooooole lot of people have simultaneously decided they’re bored with me.
Thanks – I’ve gotta agree with you! And this comment came through so I hope that’s a good sign for your commenting on other blogs!
Thanks! Babs was a real playa. I don’t even want to admit how long I’ve had that t-shirt (from Old Navy), but I wear it every Mother’s Day! Pretty soon I’ll have to just make it into a pillow and put it around my neck or something.
Are you still having commenting troubles? Yours seem to be coming through here!
Thanks! Happy mothers day!
Thank YOU! Hope you had a grand one with lots of chocolate…and booze.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!
Very nice post. Nope. I wouldn’t risk dying to shop, unless…. 🙂
Susie, your “unless…” has me way too intrigued… I am pondering all kinds of scandalous ends to that sentence. Let’s just say it involves lingerie, stolen money and fast cars.
Ah! You got me! 🙂
Wow, that photo at the top A) is super cool and B) I didn’t even pause, I just saw it and thought, “Where did Jules get those cool, vintage clothes?” Genetics, right?
I don’t think anyone but Babs and her sister could pull off that pantsuit. But I’d sooo be willing to try.
(And thank you, because I’m taking this comment as a major compliment!)
So, B-man stole my comment.
How amazingly COOL is that top pic? I love it. You are like her mini-me (does that make any sense?) You are very lucky to have such a wonderful mom, Jules.
Thanks, Darla! I love that picture, too. Babs is ‘da bomb; I am definitely lucky.
And YOUR mom, now THERE is a book waiting to happen! 🙂
You may be onto something there. I could title it: Jeezum Crow! Mutterings of a Maineiac
btw…did you see k8edid’s blog post yet? It is hysterical.
I really hope you write a memoir some day!
Thanks for the heads-up – I just dashed over there. AWESOMESAUCE.
Boo, I love your blogging community. They have infinitely good taste, wisdom and insight. Thanks again for this ode to Babs – heartfelt, funny, and loving. What more could a(n awesome) mom ask for?
Don’t they have amazing taste?
I accept this comment, even though this one isn’t in haiku form. Love you!!
Hee! I love the haiku, and I love that the store was Pier 1 Imports. That would be my mom’s store, if she were able to answer this post.
For me, it would be a store that was comprised exclusively of one of every Sweet Valley High and My Little Pony ever made, all on sale for a nickel. JUST FOR ME. Other than that, shopping is not so awesome. 🙂
Deb, I don’t know if you’re really into Twilight like yours truly, but I have to say the Twilight store in Forks, Washington is one of the coolest stores I’ve ever been in. They went ALL out (they made it look like a forest inside); plus I think the contrast between that store and the rest of the tiny, old-fashioned, one-stoplight town made it all the more special. It wasn’t like just another Lego or Disney-mania type store in Times Square.
You really do look like yo momma! I love DNA. It’s magical. What a lovely tribute. Your mom is lucky. And so are you. 😉
Why thank you! I am taking that as a huge compliment since Babs is a babe-o-rama. I agree she is sooo lucky. I mean, I am. 😉
This was AWESOME. I love the accompanying photo. Oh, and I loved the old photo of your mom, too — what a babe! Babs the Babe! It’s catchy, isn’t it?
I would nearly kill myself to get to Banana Republic when their clearance rack is 40% off. By the way, that metal fork could’ve really killed you (or pedestrian chipmunks) on your way home. Seriously dangerous.
Ha! Babs the Babe DEFINITELY works. I had a feeling you would like haikus as much as me, LOL One of the very first blog post drafts I ever wrote (but never published) was a series of haikus based on quotes from Miss America contestants. It had a lot of promise, but never got off the ground. (snort) My point is, I’ve been waiting over a year to get a haiku up in this piece. 😉
Luckily I’ve gotten over my giant utensil fetish since that picture was taken. And Babs and I were the only ones with lives at stake. LOL 😉
Babs is hot….what’s her phone number????? HMD
Cooper, I conducted a HILARIOUS(ly disturbing) Google search to try to figure out what HMD means. I’m really hoping you meant “Hold Me Down” because the other options are too frightening to even mention. Let’s just say holding was still involved…
oh dear, you reaaaaaaaly are not well at all…
Happy Mother’s Day
although i’m sure you found variations involving Moose anatomy…
Wow! You and your mom look so much alike! The giant fork and spoon gave me a flashback. We had the wooden version of those on my dining room wall when I was a little kid. (Ya gotta love the 70s!)
I would nearly kill myself, or at least fight a WV gypsy, to get to Sweet Frog, a frozen yogurt place near my house. It features an entire wall of fro-yo dispensers and a bar of toppings. It’s seriously effing awesome!
You guys were so ahead of your time – the fork and spoon are in Pier 1 right now! I think you should get the giant spoon and take it on over to Sweet Frog. WV gypsies, outta Sprinkles’ way!!
Is it weird that I dream of being in Sweet Frog alone, with nothing but the wall of forzen yogurt and my mouth?
No WAY it’s not weird! I think that’s exactly why celebs shut down stores and amusement parks – because they CAN! 😉
Wonderful post, Jules! And might I say, you are the spitting image of Mama Babs. You gotta get yourself one of those awesome pink jumpers and a polka dot belt. 🙂
Thank you so much, Jessica! I’m so flattered that people think I look like Babs. She was quite the heart-breaker!
Why oh why didn’t she keep all of these amazing clothes (not that I’d fit into them, LOL)?!
Thank goodness she had you… otherwise I would be stuck reading my own blog all the time.
Man, you’re so right. Imagine depriving people of all of THIS? 😉
Happy Mother’s Day to Babs! What a lovely tribute from a chipmunk-a-licious daughter.
Thanks, Peg! I hope this doesn’t mean I have to try to write her a song next year or something. No one wants to see that! 😉
Did my comment etiquette post prompt you to go back through all my comments through history to make sure you replied? Cuz I think you may have missed one back in the Great Comment Disaster of ought-5, and I’m really offended.
ha! Not to worry! I hadn’t really replied to any comments from Sunday on thanks to my new cough suppressant addiction, so am finally catching up today. I’ve been sober for 12 hours, man. I’m starting to get the shakes. 😉
OOOooohhh, I have a song to look forward to? How about some musical accompaniment by your reggae-master Peppermeister? I can’t wait!!
I would totally die/kill to go to Border’s. Especially since they no longer exist. And Barnes and Noble is NOT the same thing, no matter how often they try to bribe me with transferring my rewards card. Screw you, B&N.
*sigh*
LOL Oh that is the worst – coveting an out-of-business store. I still go around candy aisles looking for Bonkers…
Awe!! Such a nice post. Also, wordpress is being a douche and not emailing me your new posts. What kind of world do we liive iiiin!
Thank you so much, L! WordPress has been messin’ around a lot lately. I think they’re testing our dedication. (Speaking of, I know I’m probably behind on yours because I’ve been sick the last few days!)
The good news is . . . since you are her clone now (hence the pic), you have looking adorable in the future to look forward to!! Huzzah.
I somehow missed this post yesterday . . . what’s up with that? Oh, and your last comment was in my spam folder. Why do our blogs hate each other, Jules? Why???
I, um, don’t like to shop. (Ducks from flying objects being hurled at my head). See how desperately I need to be part of your family? Teach me, great ones. You are my only hope . . .
Thank you! I hope to be half the heartbreaker Babs was/is, LOL
WordPress is trying to make us all insane. Don’t they know we have blogs because we already have so many dang issues to work out??
You need a shopping intervention! I think Babs is already on it.
You mean Mom2, right? 😉 Can she just be my personal shopper so I never have to leave the house or face store dressing room mirrors ever again? Hey, this adoption thing just might work out afterall!! 😀
Awww! Happy Mothers Day, Babs!
Thanks, JM! And same to you! I hope you got in a little R&R??
haha! finally, a fellow fur momma. It is TOTALLY the same thing as raising children…
I really don’t know why people give me haughty looks when I say that… I mean, it’s not my fault they don’t want to leave their 6-month-old home with a bowl of water and a chew toy while they go to the movies.
The photos are awesome, Babs – er, Jules! Swear you look like your Mom. Total mini-me – er, I mean mini-her. Excellent haiku, too. Awesomsauce!
Thanks so much, Lenore! I take that as a DEFINITE compliment (being a mini-her)! It is not even right how long I’ve been wanting to get a haiku up in this biz-ness.