TV Junkie, Wipe the Drool

Dear Tom from “Restaurant: Impossible”

Dear Tom from Restaurant: Impossible,

You’re nice and I like you, Tom.

Some people might be reading this and scratching their heads. I say ‘some people’ like a lot of people will read this. But my blog, much like your career, is grossly underappreciated.

Anyway, Tom. I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re pretty special. You’re the unsung hero of The Food Network’s Restaurant: Impossible. That strange-looking, beefy guy seems to get the lion’s share of the attention. But all he has to do is yell

I think you’re taller than him, Tom.

at people. He even yells at you, Tom! You’re the man who makes it all happen! You turn that failing restaurant into a shining masterpiece, with only two minutes and six dollars.

You are sexy grace under pressure, Tom, but I worry you will soon crack if someone doesn’t give you the credit you so deserve.

I was so proud of you, Tom, when you decided to branch out from your carpentry responsibilities, and take on the design, too. Who needs that petite brunette, right? I’m sure you were sick of someone telling you lime green is a good idea. And look at those lamp shades you made from scrap wood! You can do anything, Tom.

Look, Tom. YOU did this.

Please tell that man with the muscles that you want a raise or you’re walking your wares right over to HGTV.

Love and chipmunks remote controlling the universe,



What’s your favorite food/restaurant-themed show right now?

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