TV Junkie, Wipe the Drool

Dear Tom from “Restaurant: Impossible”

Dear Tom from Restaurant: Impossible,

You’re nice and I like you, Tom.

Some people might be reading this and scratching their heads. I say ‘some people’ like a lot of people will read this. But my blog, much like your career, is grossly underappreciated.

Anyway, Tom. I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re pretty special. You’re the unsung hero of The Food Network’s Restaurant: Impossible. That strange-looking, beefy guy seems to get the lion’s share of the attention. But all he has to do is yell

I think you’re taller than him, Tom.

at people. He even yells at you, Tom! You’re the man who makes it all happen! You turn that failing restaurant into a shining masterpiece, with only two minutes and six dollars.

You are sexy grace under pressure, Tom, but I worry you will soon crack if someone doesn’t give you the credit you so deserve.

I was so proud of you, Tom, when you decided to branch out from your carpentry responsibilities, and take on the design, too. Who needs that petite brunette, right? I’m sure you were sick of someone telling you lime green is a good idea. And look at those lamp shades you made from scrap wood! You can do anything, Tom.

Look, Tom. YOU did this.

Please tell that man with the muscles that you want a raise or you’re walking your wares right over to HGTV.

Love and chipmunks remote controlling the universe,



What’s your favorite food/restaurant-themed show right now?

Photo Credits

56 thoughts on “Dear Tom from “Restaurant: Impossible””

    1. Maybe that’s why he’s always yelling at people. He just wants to be in his shell. Although I will say, he seems to genuinely care about helping this people rebuild their restaurants!

  1. I have to admit – cooking shows are just lost on me. Maybe I haven’t given them a fair try.
    Contestant: “Okay, as per the required ingredients, I’ve made a sea bass with a Pop Rocks crust and stuffed with C-batteries.”
    Judge: “I thought the batteries were a bit dry.”
    Music: BA-DA-BA-BUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!

    1. Ha! Well I think you owe it to your NJ doppelganger to give this one a shot.

      I love when, on shows like that, they’re like, “Oh sh*tboogers. I’ve never cooked with calf souls before.” I always think, “Really? You’re ashamed of that?”

    1. I can’t watch them when I’m hungry either, Susie! It’s torture. Unless it’s one of the gross food shows.

      My hub tells me HGTV is associated with the Food Network, so my line about Tom walking his wares over to HGTV doesn’t really make sense since he needs to go to a completely new network. …Should I be concerned when he makes comments like this?

    1. Peppermeister luuuurves Top Chef. I’m trying to convince him that we can afford to go to one of the restaurants that those master chefs own in NYC (…no such luck so far, LOL)!

    1. Peg. I’m a little saddened that you think illness drove me to the boob tube. I was a TV junkie long before I became a cough suppressant junkie 😉

  2. I’ve always wondered how much of the ten grand he gets for working 48 hours straight and putting up with Robert screaming at him? he must get paid something, right? or is the final tab on these remakes closer to $50K once everyone gets a cut???

    1. I hope they pay him handsomely. Even the whole 10k doesn’t seem like enough to put up with that BS! I always think it’s so unrealistic, because they probably plan everything out way in advance, and then they get tons of free labor! Of course I still watch…and love…it 😉

  3. My son loves this show. I have started recording episodes so we have something to watch together. I have always thought the design team were the unsung heros of the show. I mean, what does the brawny guy have to do? Teach the chefs how to cook a couple dishes and yell and scream about how horrible & dirty everything is? And I’m sure he gets the big bucks for all that, because that’s entertainment. But the people who make that hell-hole look like a 5 start joint? Totally bad ass.

    I also enjoy Top Chef, and recently Master Chef. Gordon Ramsey doesn’t yell much on that one. It’s pretty fun. Although cooking shows, in their essence, are kinda hard to relate to because unlike fashion/singing shows, you as the viewer have no idea how to judge the food. Maybe a little by presentation, but you have to rely on the judge’s palates to know who is good or not. And like most subjective judging shows, how do you know if you would agree with the judges? Therein lies the problem.

    1. I love that you and your son watch it together! 🙂 And you make an EXCELLENT point about the issue with us, the audience, not being able to judge the food. Instead we just sound douchey trying to describe our own meals with lines like, “The lemon zest really brights this salmon, and the scallion yogurt cuts the citrus with a creamy, mild flair.”

      1. I actually watched this episode last night with my son! It was unfortunate that I was trying to eat during the whole “dead mouse on a spatula” part. Blech. But it was a good one, and Tom did an excellent job!! He’s adorable, too. That Robert sure likes to yell a lot. But I liked how it ended, and even made me tear up a little. I DO NOT like this new “Go to the website to find out what happened to the restaurant” thing. I used to like when they would give you an update about it at the end. Boo.

        1. I know! I was so annoyed about the last episode, too, that there was no follow-up story! I guess it was too soon to have one?

          Oh and I almost forgot to mention in my last comment to you – Keurig now makes Dunkin Donuts K-Cups, too!

  4. We don’t have cable, Jules, so I am unfamiliar with Restaurant Impossible. However, if Tom is your main man, and you want to give him proper creds – then I stand beside you. Tom is THE man. Take THAT Popeye!

  5. I like Chopped because Alex has the biggest butt on tv. Makes me feel dainty in comparison. Plus Marcus Samuelsson rocks! I also watch Sweet Genius but this season he smiles too much. I liked it better when he was mean.

    1. ha! I like watching Intervention and The Biggest Loser for similar reasons (the ego boost!)!

      We do love mean chefs, don’t we? Even Anthony Bourdain is pretty edgy.

      1. I watch Intervention and Hoarding Buried Alive – then I don’t feel so bad about my occasional sangria sipping and slovenly housekeeping…

      2. But Bourdain is getting a little old for my taste and if you’ve read his book, he’s a bit of a misogynistic horse’s arse. I like the chefs that are both mean and entertaining. Like Gordon Ramsay. Plus he’s nice to look at.

        1. ha! I haven’t read his book, but I thought that might be the case… I was getting a little tired of his show for a while, but now I’m into it again. I just want to know how he stays so thin?

          I had no idea Gordon Ramsey was the favorite food personality until I got comments on this post!

  6. I’ve never heard of this guy. We watch Gordon Ramsay. My husband loves Hell’s Kitchen. That’s it for cooking shows.

    Are you feeling any better? Did you figure out which broadway show you’re going to take us to? 😀

    1. Everyone loves Gordon Ramsay! I am kind of embarrassed now that I don’t watch his show (shows?? It seems like he might be on, like, 18 now?).

      I am feeling MUCH better, thanks for asking! Now I just have to battle my cough suppressant addiction 😉 I think we’ve got to see Ghost, right?

  7. (Sniff, sniff.) Sure, rub it in my face (with Tom’s face) that I don’t have cable TV. I want to know Tom because I would imagine to know him is to love him.

    I love Kitchen Nightmares. I love to look at the green mold growing on the top of the pesto in some loser kitchen — mind you, completely undetected by the naked eye (other than Gordon’s eye) since pesto already looks like mold. Then I wonder if I ate that when I dined out the previous night.

    1. Angie – guess what?! I Tweeted this post to Tom Bury like the completely awesome and unnerdy person I am, and he retweeted it [late last night] to his followers, ha! How great is that?! Couldn’t you just pee from excitement?! (I say that a lot, and yet I have amazing bladder control.)

      Kitchen Nightmares seems to be the favorite among this crowd! I haven’t seen much of it, to be honest. I don’t know if I could handle the moldy pesto (I luuuurve pesto)! Then again they show much worse on Restaurant Impossible, LOL I shall keep you informed of all the cable TV happenings 😉

      1. You are awesome! That is practically the best news ever in blogging. A friend of my husband tried to email my John Cusack post to his former classmate Joan Cuscak. Epic fail.

        1. Echoing the awesome and adding a wow! Hope your second husband doesn’t get jealous. Angie, wanna come to New York to visit Jules sometime this summer?

    1. Thanks so much, Nikki! It’s so good to ‘see’ you here! 🙂

      Diners, Drive Thrus and Dives is GREAT – I’m glad to hear there’s a Canadian version! My parents are trying to go to all the New Jersey diners that the show recommends. I LOVE when the food shows come to NJ, because you’re right, it’s really fun knowing they’re going some place you can actually try!

  8. Is that the show with that English guy who nobody in England knows?…. Robert Irvine or summat?! He seems mean, more mean than Ramsey, and he can be mean xxx

    1. ha ha! Yes, it’s gotta be the one – it is Robert Irvine! He’s definitely tough, but you can tell he really wants to help these people turn things around. He’s sort of like a drill sargeant, a life coach and a project/restaurant manager all in one.

    1. So I was just about to reply, “Really? That’s so awesome! And I hope you didn’t mind my comment in this post – I think everyone on the show is amazing!” when I realized you might be joking. I’m very blonde, I mean, gullible. 😉

      1. I assumed you were referring to Krista Watterworth. If so, then yes, I really do know her! She and her two sisters are the most amazing women I know. Funny side note, I have never watched any of her shows :p

        I absolutely didn’t mind your comment. I laugh at nearly everyone one of your keystrokes!

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