Being Sick is No Laughing Matter. Okay. It Totally Is.

Chipmunks.

I really hope those of you with blogs aren’t writing anything good right now. Just try to hold off for a few more days, okay?

Because I’m sick.

And did you know bronchitis / sinusitis warrants opiates in the form of cough suppressant pills?

Whoa.

In my head last night, I wrote a whole post that ended in, “Is this real life?” In my head last night, I responded to all of your comments with funny, meaningful insights, like, “I can’t feel my legs.” In my head last night, I still had a voice, and that voice could SING!

Let’s just be glad all of that stayed in my head. Unlike this list:

Things That Made Me Cough Laugh About Being High Sick

Don’t stare directly at them! …And don’t check the basement.

  • Telling the nurse, who asked for my family health history, that “we all croak from cancer”
  • Discharge papers that say both “avoid dairy” and “eat yogurt if taking antibiotics”
  • After the nurse felt my throat and asked, “How does this make you feel?” me saying, “Like coughing all over you”
  • …Dang. I guess that’s it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to get back to High School Musical. …These kids don’t look high at all.

…Is this real life?

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54 responses to “Being Sick is No Laughing Matter. Okay. It Totally Is.

  1. I told you to rest and drink some tea and you’re blogging? Oh, Jules. Lay back down, snuggle with your blankie. (you are still hysterical even when sick!) Feel better!

  2. Jules, I hope you feel better.
    (love syrup from my baby and me :-))

  3. Get some soya yoghurt and smother it on your face, it’s the only way πŸ˜‰ (Oh and please take photo of yourself). I apologise, I shouldn’t mock the sick. However, I would advise EATING soya yoghurt, it’s still got all those happy bacteria, but none of the dairy stuff πŸ˜€ xxx

    • Kate! I love you. (I don’t think that’s just the opiates talking.) I REALLY wanted one of my Brit buds to respond about the yogurt, spelling it with an “h.” And you did! (It’s the little things in life, you know?)

      And please. Mock away. Did you see my pupils?

      • Thanks for the loving! Ahhh gotta love the ‘h’, it’s because ‘Yog’ hurts apparently…. titter titter… Plus you know you guys insist on taking out letters where they should be…the word is ‘colour’ duude… πŸ˜‰ te he he he! The little things in life are the best πŸ˜€

        I am LOVING the pupils, I had to have an eye examinaton a few months ago, and mine looked similar after they shoved these drops in. I think I took a photo somewhere…… Keep smiling, you’ll feel better soon πŸ™‚ xxx

  4. Feel better hun. You told the nurse your whole family croaks from cancer? Giggle. And our eyes dilate when me quaff that stuff?

  5. a) feel better
    b) there *is* some logic to the avoid dairy and eat yogurt:
    1) yogurt, kefir and cottage cheese sort of “don’t count” as the lactose or something has been broken down due to the process of making it rotten shite people eat (I know this as mum has Crohns and Colitis, so some things are GOOD for her and some things not so).

    • a) Thank you! I’m finally starting to feel better today.
      b) I figured there must be something to it. I’ve decided to just eat any dairy I can get my hands on. I don’t want to disrupt my normal routine any more than I already have, after all. πŸ˜‰

  6. Awww, poor sickie Jules!!! And you are definitely still funny when sick. But should not be being funny, but should be being in your bed resting up so you can bring back the funny, capice? Now, get back to those silly teens singing and dancing in a Disney musical. We will be here when you get back.

    Oh, and I am trying my damnedest not to be funny while you are gone. It’s a real struggle, but I’m a giver like that! Get well soon, babe.

    • Thanks, Misty! I love that you said “capice?” We need to bring that back, pronto.

      This comment really made me smile when I got it yesterday – thanks for that! πŸ™‚

  7. I so feel your pain. I get sinusitis/bronchitis at least twice a year. Suuuuuuucks. And unfortunately I’m allergic to opiates, so I don’t get to have fun time crazies. I just sleep. And get to use the cool nebulizer at the Dr’s office. Whee!
    Get better sweetie. Those crazy kids will help you recover in no time. Now go to sleep! And drink your fluids!

  8. Musinex works wonders. Your nose may be a faucet for a while, but it dries up and clears out your sinuses to prevent an infection. Did you know that I’m a mom? πŸ™‚ I’ve seen more than my share of snotty noses in my time!
    I hope you are up and around soon chicadeedeedee!

    • Mucinex is a godsend!! I seem to be feeling better today. …How long does it take to become addicted to opiates? (Actually. Wait. I hope motherhood hasn’t taught you that. Ha! ;))

  9. Thank goodness I already decided to only write CRAP so you wouldn’t miss anything. Hope you’re better soon!

  10. I hope you feel better soon! Eat lots of ice cream. And chase your antibiotics with vodka. I think the extreme difference between the cold ice cream and burning vodka will help with the coughing.

    • Thoughtsy, have you ever considered going into medicine? I think you’re onto something here. “Let’s see…blueberry vodka for a runny nose, cotton candy flavor for congestion…there you go. You should be all set!”

  11. Yo Jules – You picked a fine time to get ill. And I don’t mean illin’ in the Run DMC sense. Cause I nominated you for the Kreativ Award in today’s post. http://foodandwinehedonist.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/ho-hum-more-awardz/

  12. Feel better. I hope they gave you cough syrup with codeine. It’s the only thing that works. I’m sick too. Not bronchitis, something grosser. I’ll spare you the details.

    • Pretty much – pills with hydrocodone! I think I want to sell the leftovers on the street to pay off the cost of the prescription (our insurance co. screwed up our Rx plan so I had to pay full price for my meds).

      I’m so sorry to hear you’re sick, too! Hopefully you’re on the mend now? Or have something with which vodka may help?

  13. You mean you missed the post about….? Aw, Man. UNcool. See what those balloon rides do to you? Next time ask for the liquid instead of the pill…“picture yourself on a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and maralade skies….”

    • LOL Don’t do that to me, Cooper! I am so gullible.

      JM was just saying that about the cough syrup, but I gotta tell you, these pills are STRONG. I didn’t even want to take one today because the effects last for, like, 12 hours (and half of that time I can’t even function)!! They don’t even kick in until 2-4 hours in, either, which I think is odd. Or maybe my body is too used to the ‘calming’ effects of vodka.

  14. Sick and still funny?! You’ve got talent, lady! Rest up and hope you feel better soon!

    • Thanks, Audrey! This comment really made me feel better when I read it yesterday, on my sick bed, LOL (I’m finally feeling more myself today!) πŸ™‚

  15. .sick are you sorry am I .rest and yourself of care Take !wonderful is syrup cough Prescription ❀ :)-

    • haha! EXACTLY, Sprinkes, EXACTLY.

      BTW, I was watching last week’s American Gypsy episode, and did you see the part where the 14-year-old said, “To gypsies, the eyes are the nipples of the face” (to explain why they put so much make-up on/emphasize them so much)?!?!?! I died. Just died.

      • I sure did!! It makes me wonder what the nipples are the nipples of!! My favorite line, so far, is when the gypsy dad named, Pat Baby said that the liquor store was his “Mother f*ckin’ favorite place in the world!” I can’t stop agreeing with him! :)-

        • How awesome was Pat Baby?!?! I so want to hang out with him. Is that wrong? Oh and he so wishes he was the one getting that dress – he wanted to try on the shoes!

          • Was that the dad who tarred driveways and went with his daughter to try on the dress, or was that the week before? I did NOT buy them as real father/daughter gypsies – she didn’t even have a southern accent and he did. And he was looking at her weird.

          • Everyone in my household wants to hang with Pat Baby!! Didn’t he also say something about the outfit with the hearts on the butt looking so sweet and innocent?!

  16. I would be such a lousy drug addict. I hate feeling fruit-loopy like that. Hope you feel better soon!

    • Angie, I am so disappointed in myself. Apparently I would make a crap heroin addict, too, because I have all these pills and I don’t even want to take one today. They take hours to kick in, and then knock me unconscious for hours. It was hilarious the first day, but after two days I’m already over it! I’m really to go back to vodka, I mean, normal. πŸ˜‰

      BTW, I’ve been wanting to tell someone – one of the other things that made me laugh was reading that these pills can cause “mild” euphoria. This has been bugging me for days. How can euphoria be mild? Isn’t it the MOST of something you can be? It’s like being “a little” pregnant. If you’re “mildly” euphoric, aren’t you just “really happy”? …No? Just me?

    • Laura,I understand what you are saynig, but is still leaves me with the question I originally stated, which is what types of things do we want on the blog and what things are better posted on Face Book? We should use both media to their best advantage.

  17. Jules, I am so sorry you are sick. Seriously though, you’re funny sick. Not funny weird, either – funny ‘ha ha’! Now go. Rest. Get better.

    • Do you think people would be misled if I quoted you for a new blog banner? “She’s funny sick.”

      I am starting to feel better today, thank goodness! I was going through bloggy withdrawal. Even the heroin cough suppressants could only do so much πŸ˜‰

  18. I had that same cold!!! Jules, this is weird.

  19. OMG I love this video. I clearly don’t watch enough youtube. Also. I worry I’m getting a summer cold. ick!

    • Oh, make sure you get lots of sleep and tell everyone to eff off, because not doing so is what got me in this place, LOL Then again, I DID get those cough suppressants out of it… πŸ˜‰

      My sister just said she never saw that video either! It is so amazing. You know, they actually referenced it on an episode of Glee. I can’t remember which one, but I know it was Rachel who said, “Is this real life?” (I don’t think it was the Britney one where John Stamos was the dentist…)

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