Family Ties, humor

Brace Yourselves. I Just Got Another Email From My Mom.

You probably just stopped having nightmares over last week’s email from my mom, Babs. Remember that one? With the deer carcass? Babs had emailed graphic, carnage-ridden pictures to me, describing how her neighbor had strung up a dead deer only yards away from her back porch.

Then, a couple of days later, Babs emailed again, saying she’d bought us tickets to see Spank!, the 50 Shades of Grey parody/musical.

Surely, you’re thinking, in such a short amount of time, Jules’ mom couldn’t possibly electronic-mail any more atrocities?

Nay, chipmunks!

Behold!

Dregs from the crawl space 1-28-13 002

Wait for it.

Subject: This Almost Killed Me…

I’m almost done with the eaves clean-out. It was a cross between a Chucky movie and a 30’s dust bowl.

Opening some of the last boxes was very scary. The mother [squirrel] nest wasn’t the straw [I’d seen] on the floor, but inside a box disguised as Christmas storage.

And the choices of nesting material? That was found in a stuffed animals/dolls box. Yup, the doll is missing her face! Plus lots of the pink insulation from the ceiling.

This was such a gross job.

xox Babs

attic-nest
Oh look! It’s my box of Christmas treasures! F&*#%^& squirrels!
Cabbage-Patch-doll-attic
Well at least my children’s momentos are safe and sound… OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLE-Y.

Obviously, Babs needs her own blog. Or a new storage space.

Chipmunks-Babs

What’s your least favorite / grossest household job?

P.S. – You have until NOON EST TODAY (Wednesday, January 30, 2013) to enter my latest giveaway – you can win custom artwork from Julie Maida!