Family Ties, humor

Brace Yourselves. I Just Got Another Email From My Mom.

You probably just stopped having nightmares over last week’s email from my mom, Babs. Remember that one? With the deer carcass? Babs had emailed graphic, carnage-ridden pictures to me, describing how her neighbor had strung up a dead deer only yards away from her back porch.

Then, a couple of days later, Babs emailed again, saying she’d bought us tickets to see Spank!, the 50 Shades of Grey parody/musical.

Surely, you’re thinking, in such a short amount of time, Jules’ mom couldn’t possibly electronic-mail any more atrocities?

Nay, chipmunks!

Behold!

Dregs from the crawl space 1-28-13 002

Wait for it.

Subject: This Almost Killed Me…

I’m almost done with the eaves clean-out. It was a cross between a Chucky movie and a 30’s dust bowl.

Opening some of the last boxes was very scary. The mother [squirrel] nest wasn’t the straw [I’d seen] on the floor, but inside a box disguised as Christmas storage.

And the choices of nesting material? That was found in a stuffed animals/dolls box. Yup, the doll is missing her face! Plus lots of the pink insulation from the ceiling.

This was such a gross job.

xox Babs

attic-nest
Oh look! It’s my box of Christmas treasures! F&*#%^& squirrels!
Cabbage-Patch-doll-attic
Well at least my children’s momentos are safe and sound… OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLE-Y.

Obviously, Babs needs her own blog. Or a new storage space.

Chipmunks-Babs

What’s your least favorite / grossest household job?

P.S. – You have until NOON EST TODAY (Wednesday, January 30, 2013) to enter my latest giveaway – you can win custom artwork from Julie Maida!

Giveaway Junkie

Finally! Another Giveaway. And This One is RAD.

NOTE: This post is not sponsored. Well. Except by me.

It feels like it’s been a thousand years since I gave away something. Or, you know, a month. I love giving away somethings.

Cue Rachel from Rachel’s Table.

Wow, I just really, really can't imagine a world without avocados. I would totally give up on life. I would.
Wow, I just really, really can’t imagine a world without avocados. I mean… why bother? With even one more day?

No, no. I’m not giving away Rache. Nice try. She’s mine.

I saw her on Monday (we have totally taken our friendship to the next level), and you can should must check out the rest of our adventure on her fabulous blog.

She gave me a fantastic Christmas present (see? Next. Level). “The kind of gift,” I told her, “that makes every day better!”

Booya.

Jules-Julie-Maida-coasters

Those are custom ‘stache glasses tile coasters! Yes! Handmade just for Go Jules Go! For when I put down my vodka / champagne / beer! Well, ha ha, I’m sure I can find another use for them!

I love them.
I “mustache” you to admire these coasters.

Julie-Maida

Rachel explained that she worked with Julie Maida, a talented artist out of Fredericksburg, VA, to make these coasters. Julie owns the best first name ever maidasomeart, and specializes in wedding gifts and nursery art. She describes her work  as “affordable, (mostly) utilitarian art.”

Julie’s been featured in Stitch magazine and locals can find her at Ponshop Studio in Fredericksburg. She also blogs at juliemaida.com.

Rache and Julie in front of Ponshop.
Rache and Julie in front of Ponshop. Don’t forget my stein, ladies.

Just a few of Julie’s treasures:

Julie-Maida-lovebirdssculpture

Julie-Maida-redbirdbowl Julie-Maida-bamboo2 Julie-Maida-birdcagecoasters1 Julie-Maida-bluemonogramM2 Julie-Maida-peacockcoasters3

I took one look (okay, lots of looks) at my new coasters and thought, “Wouldn’t it be amazeballs to give away something like this on my blog?” I contacted Julie and here we are!

The Prize

Custom artwork from Julie Maida (value: up to $40 US incl. S/H). That’s right! Work with Julie to design something that’s allll you, baby. Coasters, wine charms, jewelry, wall art, bowls, sculpture, trivets, etc. Once you decide what you want, Julie will work her magic and then ship your prize to you!

How to Win

Tell me, in the comments section below (or email me), a favorite “drunk person” story – you don’t have to be the drunkard. If you are, it’s okay, because you have a chance to class it up with some custom art.

Mine involves a couple of unruly chipmunks with the key to the liquor cabinet. Obviously.
Mine involves a couple of unruly chipmunks who stole the key to the liquor cabinet. Obviously.

Deadline

12 NOON EST, Wednesday, January 30th.

I’ll announce the winner on Friday, February 1st, 6am EST.

Thanks, Julie and Rache!!!! (I’m sorry. That fourth exclamation point was uncalled for.)