Darren Criss and I Do Broadway!

Ulghhhh Sunday Happy Sunday, Chipmunks!

Here it comes…the post you’ve been waiting for!

Yesterday Babs and I headed into Manhattan to see Second Husband, Darren Criss, in his Broadway debut: “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.” To say I was looking forward to this day is like saying a Friendly’s Reese’s peanut butter cup sundae is ‘just okay.’ After weeks of preparing my Why Polygamy is the Right Choice For You presentation for Second Husband, the day had finally arrived.

I laid out my outfit. The guilty pleasure gods blessed me with an unseasonably warm, sunny Saturday, and I didn’t even need the gloves and jacket vest!

Uncle Jesse is torn, because while he appreciates my exceptional taste, he knows this means I'm leaving him.

I took extra care doing my make-up, and debated waterproof vs. regular mascara. Would seeing Second Husband in the flesh reduce me to tears?

Some decisions are just too important to take lightly.

I took my chances with regular mascara. Mostly because it takes whale fat, rubbing alcohol and three to four woodland fairies to get waterproof mascara off.

I then consulted Babs and put my hair in her favorite style.

That perfect "oh I'm trying...but not TOO hard" up-do.

Feeling spiffy, we headed in on the 2:42 train, with the goal of getting to the “How to Succeed” stage door by 4pm. This way, we could hopefully score an autograph from Second Husband after the 2pm matinée performance.

I'm ready for you, Second Husband! And you can't even see my freakin' awesome footwear. (Thanks, Payless! Who knew pleather calf-high boots could be so comfortable?)

Once at the Al Hirschfeld theater stage door, we secured a decent spot on line, right against a barricade.

No one needs to know I'm 29 years old...right?

I chatted up the adorable girl next to me, Christie. She had seen the play the night before, and had come back to try to meet Darren. I told her I only had the Warblers CD for him to sign, and she gave me an extra Playbill! I was thrilled to reciprocate with the latest and greatest in cutting-edge fashion, a GoGuiltyPleasures slap bracelet.

Slap bracelets make friends.

We waited about 45 minutes, and the crowd thickened. Babs and I met another lovely mother-daughter duo, Anne and Molly, who definitely helped the time pass pleasantly. After quickly assessing their chipmunkitude, I covered them in slap bracelets. Interest in my bracelets grew, but I was running out. I had to save one for Second Husband, after all!

Beau Bridges and the female lead, Rose Hemingway, came out to sign autographs. They both graciously acknowledged my “Thank you SO much!” with sweet smiles and eye contact, solidifying my hunch that I could win Second Husband over as easily with my overdone undeniable charm.

Those lips smooch Second Husband Every. Night.

An hour and a half into the wait, I started to get restless, especially because I was late meeting the glorious JM Randolph (of Accidental Stepmom fame) and her husband for dinner. I kept her updated with texts: “Sooo sorry! He’s still not out yet!” She was very understanding. It was Second Husband.

After two hours, my feet were starting to feel the burn and I was ready to do this thing. The jokester security guard suddenly said, “We’re shutting it down!” I thought he was kidding, but watched in disbelief as he started removing all of the barricades. “The cops are shutting it down,” he explained. “There are too many people on the sidewalk.”

Sure, there were probably about 150 of us waiting in a line down the sidewalk, but, but, but… c’mon!! Everyone was being very patient and calm. Sigh. No Second Husband, and me with extra room in my heart.

Not too shabby. By the way, all of the posters featuring Second Husband were already sold out! You go, Darren!

I may not have gotten to meet Second Husband, but I DID get to meet the gorgeous and charming JM Randolph and her HILARIOUS hub. We missed having dinner with them because they had to get back to work, but we had a nice chat and will hopefully get to cash in on a rain check soon.

Babs and I, starving, and more importantly, libation-less, headed down the block to 45th and 9th Ave. to try our luck at Justin Timberlake’s restaurant, Southern Hospitality (he might not be bringing sexy back, but I guess bringing baby back ribs will do for now). The wait time was 45 minutes, but the cute host caught a glimpse of my Playbill, and after I shared the details of my autograph fail, he told us we could eat in the downstairs lounge/bar, if we didn’t mind. We didn’t! We got to eat and drink on a luxurious leather couch, the service was quick (key when you have an 8 o’clock curtain) and the food was very good. The lounge was quickly overrun with twenty-somethings, and suddenly a guy walked in and the group whooped and hollered. We realized we were in the middle of a surprise party. Er….surprise!! We got the check and skidattled.

Everywhere we went, we heard the name ‘Darren Criss.’ New York City seemed to have traded in its cool indifference for superfandom. (I fit right in.) Back at the theater, we made our way to our right orchestra aisle seats and I spotted lots of folks from Darren’s theater company, StarKid.

Joe Walker of StarKid fame sat right in front of us, which meant I got to see two tweens nearly hyperventilate while asking for an autograph.

When Darren descended from the ceiling as a window washer in the opening scene, the crowd went berserk. His StarKid friends/college mates were ecstatic. They grinned wildly and pointed to each other – their friend! On Broadway! It was a treat to witness.

Darren’s performance was hilarious, captivating and exuberant. (I’m being as objective as I can, I swear.) His enthusiasm, combined with the audience’s energy, made the two and a half hour show fly by. (If you read my lukewarm post about seeing the very same play back in April, when Daniel Radcliffe was the star, you know that I’m not always as easily won over.) Darren made the performance seem effortless, the way only great actors can. To think he only had two weeks to rehearse! And yeah, he looked drop-dead, too!

I should mention there’s a whole ‘fight song’ about a rivalry with a school whose mascot is a chipmunk. A chipmunk! I heard Second Husband say chipmunk!!! Babs nudged me so hard I almost landed at the peep show next door.

He was actually smiling throughout the curtain call, but I think in this moment he realized he didn't get a slap bracelet.

We didn’t have the stamina to try to get an autograph after the show, since we weren’t sure Darren would come out (he did…double sigh), but we made the 11:11 train, which was a miracle in and of itself. I lose at least two pounds every time I go into the city. (To see some great pictures of Darren from January 7th that Babs DIDN’T take, click here.)

The night ended with a text from Peppermeister: “How was it? Am I still your ONLY husband?”

For now, First Husband. For now.

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35 responses to “Darren Criss and I Do Broadway!

  1. Ugh! No slap bracelet?
    I’m glad you enjoyed the show but I feel bad that mr criss didn’t get to meet you or see your video or anything. life is so unfair. for him.
    YOU got to meet JM which is better than cupcakes.

    • Ha! Thank you so much for saying so! I couldn’t agree more; he’d be losing sleep over it if he only knew.

      Soooo true – JM’s like a case of champagne and ten dozen peanut butter cups rolled into one!

  2. Well, it’s his loss. Somewhere, there’s a parallel universe where peppermeister received a scandalous, but not totally unforseen, text in response after Criss locked eyes on you, then the slap bracelet…

    And, okay, he’s not a sex symbol, but Beau Bridges is pretty great.

    • “…then the slap bracelet.” Yes! That is the moment! I can totally see it.

      Beau Bridges was fantastic in the show, and a very mellow and dapper dude while signing autographs.

      Definitely far from a fail of a night, even without the start of my plural marriage.

  3. You did it! You captured every wonderful moment of the evening! I’d do it all over again…except maybe the running-to-the-train part.

  4. Sounds like a total blast – and you are SO adorable! Tragic, really…Mr. Criss is sure missin’ out!

  5. Gosh, I feel like I was just in the audience. I feeel so chic, and I didn’t have to get out of my pjs.

    • I have been in my PJs all day today, recovering from our chic night out, LOL Seriously. And this guy does a show (or two) every day! Babs says I’m getting old. But I will rock those slap bracelets right to the grave.

  6. Your enthusiasm is infectious – and I don’t even know who Darren Criss is!

  7. What a great post! I’m so glad you liked the show. I had no idea that he said, “Chipmunk” !!!!! Sweet! Also, I love that you and Babs crashed a surprise party. You and Babs are both lovely and we enjoyed the hell out of meeting you in real time! Glad you made the train. I wonder if we were on the same one? My train was packed full o’ douchebags.

    • Oh, by the way, in my defense: clashing prints are in this year.

    • Thanks, JM! I was SO sorry to miss out on dinner – thank you for being so understanding! I REALLY didn’t think we would wait that long, and then we were SO CLOSE (I am SURE I could’ve given him a slap bracelet if he’d come out). Gah!

      We were on the Dover line that goes to Summit and it was PACKED – we had to stand almost the whole time! Down 2 lbs. Seriously. Who needs Bikram? (Oh speaking of, later I thought, “Man I sounded really d-baggy when I said, ‘THIS doesn’t do Bikram yoga,’ hahahaha, when in reality I’m usually a schlub!)

  8. I’m with Renee, I felt like I was right there with you on your big night! The anticipation was killing me. I have to say I was really hoping that the last picture would be you and Darren together. Completely his loss! But to meet the other actors AND JM?! How cool is that?

    • You and me both, Darla! OMG. A picture of Second Husband in a GoGuiltyPleasures slap bracelet?!?! That was my ULTIMATE pie-in-the-sky goal. I’m optimistic that I’ll get another chance, though, because a lot of things bring people to NYC, especially someone [like S.H.] who wants to write Broadway shows!

      I know! Meeting JM was such a thrill – as awesome as you think she is? She’s ten times awesome-er!

  9. What a great day. Sorry your second husband did not get a chance to realize that his forever mate was just outside the door. But it sounds like the show was taboo. Next time I’m in the City, I want to visit you, chipmunk!

    • I feel sorry for him, really. I mean, every day that passes is one less he gets to spend with me.

      The show was TOTALLY faboo – truly. I’ve never seen a play that flew by so quickly, and it was a long one!

      I would luuuuuuurve to meet you in the City! You, me and JM should get together when you can come in!!

  10. How fun! So sorry you weren’t able to slap the cuffs (or pink bracelets) on soon-to-be-hub#2. You’ll have to just be the girl of his (unknown) dreams until reality brings you together.

    BTW, I love, LOVE the original movie of this play with Robert Morris – love the music, too. I keep telling my 22-year-old daughter that she is the female J. Pierpont Finch. Groundhogs!

    • I shall keep an extra ‘reserve’ collection of slap bracelets for when that special day comes. 😉

      I haven’t seen the movie; has your daughter? Does she agree? (I’m still blown away by her Glee Project experience!) Darren really breathed new life into the role; the play seemed so much less dated than the first time I saw it! My face hurt from laughing!

      • Other daughter. That’s my 19-year-old, musical free spirit. The 22-year-old is a business shark determined to make VP by 30. She hasn’t seen it yet. We were going to see it w/Radcliffe when we were in New York, but it sounds like we didn’t miss much.

        You should check out the movie – I think you’d like it. Robert Morse played the lead (sorry, got the name wrong) as I think he did when it was first on Broadway. But I’m sure that your future-honey brought nothing but glory to the role.

  11. great recap! your enthusiasm really is contagious. I wonder if your new friends have checked out your blog? 🙂

    • That really makes me so happy to hear – thank you! 🙂 I really can’t remember the last time I was so jazzed for an event.

      I was hoping to hear from all of them, but haven’t yet! I did make sure Christie was okay with me posting her picture after Babs took it. She was so sweet!

  12. Outstanding post and recap of your evening. I, too, was hoping you’d get to meet-cute with SH. Next time!

  13. Aww, I really wanted to hear about the big moment! Can’t believe they shut you guys down. And after all the work you put into your presentation.

    Sounds like you had a great time regardless. Actually, it sounds like you have a great time no matter what you are doing. 🙂

  14. oh my god, this post is my life. my sister and I went to see how to succeed on the 22nd of january (because darren criss is MY second husband too, well first because I have never been married…) and sadly we didn’t get to meet him either. BUT just being in the same room as him and seeing him do his thing up on a Broadway stage was magical enough. I am so glad I found this blog!

    • That’s so great! Do you live in the NYC area? I hope he comes back to Broadway this summer (I’ve heard there’ve been rumors…)! He was truly magical. Le sigh.

      I’m SO glad you found this blog, too!! 🙂

  15. No I don’t, but I go to college a few hours away, so my amazing parents came up and got me and brought my sister and I there for my Christmas present (after I begged relentlessly hahaha). And we can only hope that he’ll be back. Cuz Nick Jonas is only doing his run til July I believe.

    😀

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