Are you ready for this, celebratory chipmunks?! These were taken in our yard, and yes, we have a giant flag painted on a board on the back fence, courtesy of the original homeowners. (We’re thinking of adding flags from around the world, whaddya think?)
Prepare yourselves for hunk-itude:
And my personal favorite:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How are you celebrating (besides putting your supermodel dog in a gold bow tie? Oh wait, is that just me?)? Any resolutions?
P.S. – The pictures from Uncle Jesse’s photo shoot have arrived, AND I’m almost done with my “Why Polygamy is the Right Choice For You” presentation for Second Husband – couldn’t you just pee from excitement?!
This post came very close to being a review of the Yule Log offerings on Comcast OnDemand (Yule Dogs?! Hello! Awesome!). But really all I want to say is: I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! May it be filled with peace, laughter and love spiked egg nog, cold hard cash, and the satisfaction of looking better than all of your relatives.
My gift to you me? Why, a magical Christmas combo: my favorite holiday song, sung by the one and only, Second Husband:
Chipmunks with cheeks full of roasted chestnuts, you are in for a treat – a guest post from Babs, the very woman who gave ALL OF THIS (i.e., me) life!
You’ll soon see how the [shamelessness] apple doesn’t fall far from the [guilty pleasure Christmas] tree.
(Click on any of the pictures to enlarge.)
So, for years my (our) guilty pleasure has been to find someone/thing worthy of the most high honor of being our Christmas Tree Topper (the ‘star on top’). It started with Britney in her red unitard, then swoon-worthy Justin Timberlake, and another year it was NSYNCer, Joey Fatone. In 2009, it was sparkly Edward Cullen, and last year, the singing Bieb himself. Oh, baby.
But this year, to honor your blog, our angel is a… chipmunk!
Decked out in huge wings, a starry halo, and yes, her own version of a slap bracelet (it’s Second Husband!).
Isn’t that magical? (And yes, she adds the wings and halos herself!) You rock, Babs! By the way, for those of you who requested GoGuiltyPleasures slap bracelets before Monday, you should have them by tomorrow! For those of you who haven’t requested slap bracelets, what are you waiting for?? I’ve got one with your name on it (or, you know, 200 with my blog name on it)! Just email your address to me at JKSchnedeker@yahoo.com.
I forgave you for the denim suit you wore to the American Music Awards in 2001. I forgave you for the cornrows you wore to…lots of places. But when you stopped going on tour and took up acting? Well, that one still smarts.
You’re a top-notch performer, J.T. We can all appreciate that (even the macho-macho-men). But that’s not acting.
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry because I love you. You have beautiful teeth.
Please remember that as I tell you I’ve finally figured out why you can’t act (something I’ve been pondering ever since I saw Model Behavior on ABC):
You’re too confident and famous.
You have NO idea what it’s like to be normal. That’s not an insult. You just don’t. Why would you? It’s kind of like the way I don’t know how to be cool, or how to end an awkward conversation.
When you act, you try to pretend you’re the nice guy who finishes last, but it’s just pretend. I think you think by using your ‘breathy voice’ that you’re conveying vulnerability, but you’re not.
Oh. I feel so bad saying this. Did I mention I love you? You’re the only one who can bring sexy back.
But the thespian thing, it’s just not working out. I mean, you’ve been in some REALLY good movies. You’re tall and handsome. But I still don’t believe you. You’re not a superhero or the guy next door or the smarmy entrepreneur.
Chipmunks-in-a-trunk (tree trunk, that is), I mentioned in my first ever video blog that I would be bringing back not only the side pony, but also…
And I’m no liar.
They just arrived today!!!
I’ve got 200 of these puppies (dressed as rad, neon pink accessories) to give away, and you’re gonna want to make sure you get one! Don’t be the only one at the guilty pleasure party without the latest bling.
If you trust me enough to send me your address (and why wouldn’t you? Nothing says trustworthy like this), email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll get one in the mail to you lickety-split.
All I ask in return is that you take a picture of you and/or your loved ones/pets wearing the slap bracelets and allow me to post it here on goguiltypleasures.com.
Chipmunks! We’re gonna bring back slap bracelets!! (…FINALLY.)
There are a lot of reasons I heart my besties, Jenn and Mary. Namely:
They are funny.
They think I am funny.
They are smart.
They think I am smart funny.
But when it comes to enumerating their many qualities, the word crafty (like Martha Stewart-crafty, not Wet Bandits-crafty) doesn’t necessarily spring to mind. Nevertheless, this holiday season, I decided to push them out of their comfort zones, right into gingerbread village. To help them cope with the shock, I provided the following:
1.) A home-cooked roast chicken dinner.
2.) Encouragement Vodka.
3.) Uncle Jesse in a sweater.
4.) John Denver and the Muppets.
5.) Duct tape.
We set to work.
One Two hours later…
And in the end, the gingerbread creations [couldn’t stand the long drive home for Jenn and Mary and] were mine…all mine! Merry Christmas, me!
Any holiday crafts going on in your neck ‘o the woods, Chipmunks?
Let me start off by saying ’tis the season of giving. But if you’re one of those modest people who doesn’t want to make a Christmas Wish List, you’re probably just frustrating your loved ones. I know you don’t want that. Make one, send it, pronto! Guaranteed free shipping before Dec. 25th doesn’t last forever, Chipmunks.
Every year, my husband, The Peppermeister, e-mails our family his Christmas Wish List in a timely manner. People look forward to it.
Here’s [a few examples of] why:
Ok so here is the list that you have all been waiting for. I know that you all love me and I will get everything on this list. I am so lucky to have such terrific parents, a great pregnant sister and brother in law and a good enough fiance’. As always, please communicate with one another to ensure that this christmas is among the best i’ve ever had.
As always, I encourage you to look for great deals. Deviating from the list is not encouraged, and frowned upon. I categorized them to make it easier for you, my beloved family.
For the Bar (Because a man needs a cave, and that cave needs cliché bar stuff)
1. Sweet dartboard with wooden doors and chalk boards for score keeping (I’d like real darts, not electronic or rubber, safety is NOT a priority)
For General Practicality and “bad-ass-edness” (Because you never know when the zombie apocalypse will occur)
1. Wind up (crank) LED flashlight without radio
2. Wind up (crank) flashlight with am/fm radio
3. Leatherman 830032 Blast Multitool with Leather Sheath
Gift Cards (Because I want you to take money that used to be good everywhere, and make it good in only one place)
1. Target – “Terrget”
Happy Birthday Jesus!
This year, I’ve tried to make things as easy as possible for my generous family. I’ve created an Amazon wish list.
When trying your best to please me this Christmas, be sure to note the following:
-There are two pages on that wish list.
-I have plenty of sweaters.
And another painless year of holiday shopping commences.
Hiya chipmunks! I love this time of year because I don’t even know where to start on my DVR. Between the holiday movies and the festive episodes of my favorite shows, I am geeking out on guilty pleasures like nobody’s business! I like to read other TV junkie’s blogs, and I’ve been seeing in comments that a lot of people are bowing out of cable TV because it’s so ri-donkulously expensive. I am with you!! Part of the problem is that I have no idea what my options are out in the sticks of western Jersey.
But I can’t give up True Blood! Or Boardwalk Empire (okay that’s Peppermeister’s show, not mine)! Or Lifetime! (Seriously. Where else can you see Fred Savage punch Candace Cameron?*)
Since I have no idea what’s available to me, I’m starting by using cabletelevision.net – it’s a WordPress site where you can check out cable packages and special programs available from cable and satellite companies. They also give an overview on the various ways to watch cable shows. Right now I’m comparing satellite to cable and thinking about Netflix.
Do you guys have any tips for finding a better deal? What’s the cable TV show you splurge on??
*P.S. – I would like to leave you with some dialogue from the Oscar-snubbed “No One Would Tell”:
STACY: Well, you don’t know what he’s been through! Besides, you don’t give up on someone you love.
NICKI: You call that love? They don’t even think he likes you!
STACY: Well, then you don’t know what love is!