Kvetching, Uncategorized, Wipe the Drool

Dear Justin, Please Bring Sexy Back. It’s, Like, My Christmas Wish.

Sexy like this, Justin.

Dear Justin Timberlake,

Think of all the poor little children without denim in 2001.

I forgave you for the denim suit you wore to the American Music Awards in 2001. I forgave you for the cornrows you wore to…lots of places. But when you stopped going on tour and took up acting? Well, that one still smarts.

You’re a top-notch performer, J.T. We can all appreciate that (even the macho-macho-men). But that’s not acting.

Look at them! They're so straight and...teeth-y.

I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry because I love you. You have beautiful teeth.

Please remember that as I tell you I’ve finally figured out why you can’t act (something I’ve been pondering ever since I saw Model Behavior on ABC):

I wanted to like it. I really did.

You’re too confident and famous.

You have NO idea what it’s like to be normal. That’s not an insult. You just don’t. Why would you? It’s kind of like the way I don’t know how to be cool, or how to end an awkward conversation.

When you act, you try to pretend you’re the nice guy who finishes last, but it’s just pretend. I think you think by using your ‘breathy voice’ that you’re conveying vulnerability, but you’re not.

Oh. I feel so bad saying this. Did I mention I love you? You’re the only one who can bring sexy back.

But the thespian thing, it’s just not working out. I mean, you’ve been in some REALLY good movies. You’re tall and handsome. But I still don’t believe you. You’re not a superhero or the guy next door or the smarmy entrepreneur.

You’re Justin Timberlake. And you bring the sexy.

Please, Justin. Please. Bring sexy back.

Snuggles and Slap Bracelets*,


*don’t forget about my Slap Bracelet Giveaway!!!


Photo Credits

#1: ivillage.com

#2: askmen.com

#3: amazon.com

#4: content.hollywire.com

32 thoughts on “Dear Justin, Please Bring Sexy Back. It’s, Like, My Christmas Wish.”

  1. I echo the other comment, he’s fabulous on SNL. Granted I don’t watch SNL, because its usually awful, but I’ve seen some of the skits (like motherlover) online and its pretty great.

    1. Ha! I know, usually SNL is more miss than hit, when Justin’s not hosting. Although, Jimmy Fallon just hosted this year’s holiday SNL, and I was in TEARS from laughing so hard!

    1. I just had to detour from my intended comment to say that I love this one. And I do, although probably not the way you love your JT!

    2. Yes, we both love that JT too, Nancy! In fact it took a while before I could even start calling Justin “JT,” because I didn’t want to betray my love of the original JT.

  2. Oh, that denim outfit! My eyes! Yeah, I have to admit I wasn’t impressed with his role on The Social Network. But then, I thought the entire movie was just ‘eh’. He is hilarious with those SNL skits. And when he did this huge dance thing on Jimmy Fallon that was great.

  3. It’s kind of like the way I don’t know [ . . . ] how to end an awkward conversation.
    Hooooooo-boy, do I ever know what that not-knowing feels like! If you ever get the knack of this, do you mind sharing your secret with me? I promise I’ll do the same thing if I get the scoop first!

  4. I have a developing man-crush on him, and it’s upsetting the Mrs. because she claims him all to herself. I thought he was terrific in Friends with Benefits. Still has too much star power for the role, but he does have an awesome sense of comedic timing… And an awesome rear. Wait, did I just type that?

    1. It’s a true man that can admit it! Totally agree on the comedic timing – maybe he just needs to be in a full-on comedy, like National Lampoon style?? He is fine from head to tail, ha!

  5. I think that’s a really astute observation. It’s like Ron Howard’s movies – they’re all good, but they don’t feel like real life at all because he’s been in a Hollywood star since he was, what 4? However old Opie was on The Andy Griffith Show.

    And he was good in Social Network, but he was very specifically playing someone who puts himself above the system and other people. Maybe if he got back together with Brittany? Get him grounded and back to something normal.

    1. Thank you, Byronic Man! I don’t think everyone appreciates the fact that I’ve been mulling this over for a decade.

      He and Britney should have never broken up, but then again, we wouldn’t have gotten Justin’s “Cry Me a River” without it, and that song RULES.

  6. Why is it every singer thinks they have to act, and every actor thinks they have to sing? Isn’t it enough to be fabulously wealthy and world-famous? What’s next for JT – blogging?

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