I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Just For Fun, Lists, TV Junkie

Your Guilty Pleasure Survival Kit

I feel guilty about the lack of pleasures on this blog as of late. Because of personal and professional duties doodies, I haven’t been able to post as regularly as I would like. (Either that will change soon, or I will go Britney Spears circa 2007 on ya’ll.)

No one wants to see this.

I hear your cries. I know. It’s unacceptable. So, to get you through to the next post, I give you your very own…

Guilty Pleasure Survival Kit!

Indulge in these items, and it’ll be like I’m right there with you (hopefully in a slightly uncomfortable way…I love that shirt on you).

1.) More ME

Some things just scream, 'Winner!'

If you haven’t seen my last cinematic masterpiece in celebration of my 1-year blogiversary, you’re dead to me. Watch it! You’ll love it! Critics are calling it, “Um, who are you?” “The best thing since your video before that.” When you’re done watching, check out my archive over there —–>. 132 thought-provoking posts.

2.) Tube Schmoob

Did you know Johnny Depp was this funny? I didn't. (Photo Credit: http://static.guim.co.uk/)

I’ll be honest. There are a couple of free hours at night where I could be writing, but vodka and American Idol always wins. (Although, let’s remember this is technically research for me.) Be a boob tube schmoob with me and check out some of my new favorite shows:

Billy on the Street

I give you the full scoop here.


If you love Glee and American Idol like your favorite guilty pleasure blogger, you’ve got to give NBC’s new Katherine McPhee-a-palooza a shot. Let’s just forget about Nick Jonas’s guest appearance last week. Suspend your disbelief a little longer.

Life’s Too Short

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant have done it again with this HBO winner starring little person, Warwick Davis. It was touch-and-go for the first episode, but bringing Johnny Depp into episode #2? Genius. Davis’s assistant is also not to be missed.

3.) Second Husband Croaks!

This much cute almost shouldn't be allowed. (Photo Credit: eonline.com)

My beautiful Second Husband, Darren Criss, got to perform with Kermit the Frog for E’s Oscar pre-show last weekend! They sang Rainbow Connection and the result was magical. You can watch the video here.

4.) Tried-and-True Food/Beverage Combos

"Why do birds, suddenly appear..."

I have graciously road-tested the following food combinations for you over the past two weeks. You can enjoy knowing they have the GOGP stamp of approval.

  • cherry peppers on pizza
  • chocolate chips mixed into cupcake batter
  • refried beans and bacon
  • vodka and Simply grapefruit juice

As a reminder, please indulge recklessly, and whatever you do, DON’T:

  • use the following words or phrases in casual conversation (and maybe don’t use them ever):
    • return on investment
    • reproach
    • stepwise progression
    • incumbent upon
    • optimizing spend
  • open a sleeve of Thin Mints and leave any uneaten
  • watch Vampires Suck
  • wear all black and change your name to “Shadow Catcher”
  • forget chipmunks are windows to the soul

Go forth, my sweet chipmunks, and don’t forget to report back!

What guilty pleasures are keeping you alive?

33 thoughts on “Your Guilty Pleasure Survival Kit”

  1. I really think the Britney Spears shaved look is you, Jules. I think you’d get a great return on investment with that style.

    Thanks for the vodka/juice tip, what a way to optimize spending!

    I don’t know why exactly, but I love Ricky Gervais. I assume a lot of people out there think he’s a jackass and/or not funny, but I think he’s a funny jackass. Whenever I see him on Conan, I die laughing. He was recently on The Daily Show and I cried I was laughing so hard. I had no idea he had this HBO show. (I don’t have HBO so that may be on reason)

    1. Ha! Even here those terms make my skin crawl (although definite points for creativity)!

      You love Ricky Gervais because he’s f*%^%&ing awesome. I need to see that Daily Show interview! I wonder if you can get Life’s Too Short on Netflix or something like that??

  2. It’s safe to say any of those “ix-nay on the eech-spay” terms are MATHS WORDS, which I neither understand, nor would attempt repeating. I prefer coloring books and ukuleles.

  3. I didn’t know Life’s Too Short had already started!! Ahhh! Got to go!

    Also, do you watch Once Upon A Time? People go on and on about it. We watched the first few episodes and liked it, but by episode 5 I’m getting bored. Every episode is EXACTLY the same. “He’s forgotten who he really is!” “Oh, Henry, when will you stop this fantasy?” “Grr, stay away from my son.” And then someone makes a deal with Rumeplstiltsken and the price is higher than they expected.

    1. same here. i was so excited for OUAT, hopelessly optimistic really, but I didn’t even watch last night’s. i recently watched Dowton Abbey after hearing all the hype about it, and what a great show. OUAT should take tips from them and tighten their plots so it doesn’t seem to drag on and on.

    2. Did you watch it?? What did you think??

      I haven’t seen Once Upon A Time, and I’m not sure if this summation makes me want to watch it more or less than I did before I read it.

  4. I WAS beginning to feel unloved – I’m not gonna lie. Thanks for dragging me back from the edge (I’ll let your own, vivid imagination fill in the edge of just what and, yeah, it iS that bad). I’m printing this out, putting it in a little, glass cask (kind of like a little box, but more like a casket), then I’m going to forge a solid gold little hammer. When life gets too, too unbearable, I’ll use my solid gold little hammer to break the little glass cask, read your words of bloggy wisdom and all will be grand once more.


  5. I’ve been sick, busy, and feeling old so I’ve forgotten to “nourish my inner chipmunk”. Now I know what I must do. How can I thank you, Jules?

  6. It has come to my attention that you’re having far too much fun; now stop it! More guilt & less pleasure young lady; these are times of austerity; making people happy and helping them to feel good is not suitable for these times of unhappy self blame. I, my stiff upper lip and downward pointing eyebrows are not amused. Yours Sincerely Lord Moody-Farquar, hair shirt supplier to the nobility and any other misery guts I can find to buy one.

    1. Dear Lord Moody-Farquar,

      I consider this a challenge. Operation Giggle-Fest will soon commence. Just try and keep your eyebrows downward pointing.

      Sincerely Yours,
      Lady Chipmunk Chatterley-Cuddlesworth

  7. i love how you guys have life’s too short here – emma and i cracked up watching it last year. my cousins made me watch it last night and i had forgotten how inappropriately funny it is. oh, btw…. i got my slap bands! I’m busy slapping them all over anything that sits still long enough… pics to follow 🙂

  8. You rocked that video, J. And the things even made an appearance.

    Of course, I’m again wondering why am I not subscribed to your blog? Then I hit the RSS feedy thing and got gobbly gook. Don’t worry, it’s just me. It always is. But I’m going to my reader and typing the URL directly in. Now that says love!


    1. Thank you so much, Leanne! I HAD to snatch up Renee’s pic of the Things (with her permission, o’ course) – I think that was the final addition, actually (besides my shamelessness, and we all know that’s there every step of the way)!

      If I could I would hand deliver every post to you 🙂 The fact that you’re reading my lil’ blog thrills me to pieces!

  9. I had been feeling lonely (how did I get so far behind on your blog?!), but now I don’t because it’s like you are right here with me! Now I just need to get me some of those cool slap bands or bracelets or whatever you call them. Dang, maybe I’m not cool enough for them….

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