Author: Go Jules Go

I heard you like to laugh. At my expense. Sounds like you're ready to take our friendship to the next level. You won't be disappointed. I swear on teeny, tiny baby chipmunks.
Just For Fun, Lists, TV Junkie, Uncategorized

The Glee Project Announces Winner and I Explore Life’s Purpose

Go Jules Go

On Sunday night “The Glee Project” announced their winner, and I soooo nailed it – the guy with the dreads (Samuel) won! In a delightful everyone’s-a-winner twist, though, they also gave the Irish kid (Damian) a 7-episode contract, and both runners-up (Alex and Lindsay) will be appearing in 2 episodes! Like I wasn’t pumped enough for Season 3.

And the winner is…all of us. Photo credit: avclub.com

I actually had such a downer post ready to go up today (let’s just say a disturbing episode of “Restaurant Impossible” made me worry I’m one night of boob tubing and two vodka tonics away from being Kevin Spacey’s new ‘sloth’ victim [side note: isn’t “Se7en” the best scary movie ever?]). But then the skies parted and my little guilty pleasure guardian angels flew down and typed “Darren Criss” into my Google search engine (they really LOVE to do that). Which led me to…

A Darren Criss flash mob! (Done at a Chicago fair where Darren recently performed.) Sure, it’s amateurish, and goes on a little too long, but aren’t they cute? It lifted my spirits, and I hope it does the same for you!

Darren later tweeted that he could finally cross “witness a flash mob dance to your songs” off of his bucket list. People are always surprised to hear I have a bucket list, but doesn’t everyone? What’s that one water sport you’ve always wanted to try, or that one country/state you’ve always wanted to visit? See, ta da, bucket list started!

Here are a mere few of my bucket list items – I even included some I’ve already done to show you that guilty pleasure dreams really do come true (as if this post wasn’t proof enough!):

They say it’s the happiest place on earth, but I’ll be the judge of that. Photo credit: disneystore.com

  • Water ski

  • Climb a rock wall

  • Go on a cruise (preferably one that houses dueling pianists and a rock wall)

  • Ride a hot air balloon

Probably with this guy. Photo credit: buckscountyrivercountryblog.blogspot.com

  • Take a road trip through the Redwood forest

  • Get a book published (and subsequently become besties with Stephenie Meyer and J.K. Rowling)

  • Buy a baby grand piano and perform for my imaginary fans (and possibly film and share the evidence)

  • Make Darren Criss my second husband

    Mr. gojulesgo the second. Let's pretend I took this picture right before he proposed. To throw off his rabid fans, though, I shall give "photo credit" to: teen.com

 What’s on your bucket list??

Just For Fun, Lists, Uncategorized

You Are About to See Something Special

Go Jules Go

There are certain things people don’t usually share. Their salary, political beliefs, ‘magic number’, feelings on drugs and abortion, whether they really believe in God. I can appreciate this, but I’m about to show you something most people don’t usually divulge. That’s right. Here it comes…

My guilty pleasure resume!

It’s not so much a document detailing my experience as it is a photographic expression of my commitment to the lifestyle. Nevertheless, I’m available for hire for all your guilty pleasure gigs, big and small (please submit job descriptions, down payments, and pictures of animals dressed as other animals to gojulesgo@ialwaysknewidberich.com). Enjoy:

1.) I have a cabinet full of plastic Medieval Times cups at all times (keepsakes from my 27th birthday party that we use constantly):

I'd like to dedicate this toast to all the knights and wenches in the hiz-ouse.

2.) This is my Harry Potter wall calendar, hanging in the kitchen for all to admire:

Don't you hate the boring months like this? Who cares about these guys?

3.) A staple: vodka in the freezer. …’Scuse me, I’ll be right back…

If this doesn't make your mouth water...well, good. More for me.

4.) …Cheers. Here are all of the ingredients to make bonfire s’mores at any given moment:

Marshmallows + chocolate + graham crackers + fire = a g.d. good time, that's what.

5.) This is the light cover I made for my craft room. Yeah, that’s right, craft room (a.k.a. why my future children will be living in the shed):

Cheese-tastic.

6.) Here is my dog, Uncle Jesse’s, monogrammed L.L. Bean bed. I know I should be embarrassed, but I’m not. I’m proud. So proud. (I mean, c’mon. You’re allowed exactly 10 characters, including spaces. It was meant to be.)

The kind of happiness only money can buy.
I know. I don't take him seriously either.

7.) This is the comment my husband just made:

“Do you wish your whole life was blogging? You wouldn’t have a blog if you didn’t have a life, though.”

…Oh, what’s that you say? You’re dying to see my craft room, especially the stripes I painted on the walls myself? Well, okay, if you insist. Here it is!

Julie, you are SO creative! Why thank you, Julie.
Just For Fun, Uncategorized

I’ve Got the Giggles (And I’m Not the Only One)

Go Jules Go

Do you have those people in your life who can get your Giggle Meter skyrocketing with just one look? I sure hope so. Girl on the Contrary’s hilarious post about a recent elevator trip had me reminiscing about all those times I’ve laughed inappropriately. Like this:

For me, I think it all started with one of my very first best friends, a sporty, feisty girl I met in nursery school at the local YMCA. Everything was funny to her – even getting in trouble. We used to play a made-up game where we’d blindfold each other and then feed the blindfolded person something and make them guess what it was. She will never let me live down the time I gave her a spoonful of bacon grease from the coffee can my dad used to pour it into. I could barely hold the spoon still; suppressed laughter had me shaking from head to toe.

Luckily, since then, my nursery school pal and I have had many more giggle-fests that were mutual. Other fits have been dangerous. Being in your late twenties and losing control in a business meeting, for example, is like taking your livelihood into your own hands. The more inappropriate it is to laugh, the harder it always seems not to, right? Last year, I was running a meeting where the focus was on electronic solutions for our current work. I had a few people in the room and the rest were attending virtually. The I.T. rep must have spiked her coffee that afternoon, because she just started laughing uncontrollably whenever anyone would ask a question. She was already two baby steps away from the place with the padded walls, and lack of sleep had apparently done her in. Every time I tried to rescue her and get things back on track, she’d look at me, red-faced, tears streaming down her face, and get me going, too. I’m not exaggerating when I say this went on for 5 minutes. No, I don’t know why I’m still employed. I guess it could have been worse:

Usually I have at least one episode whenever I’m with Babs. It’s kind of like the guarantee you get when you go to Friendly’s – service with a smile, or the meal’s on them. There are a thousand of these times I can’t remember, but they often start with me teasing Babs while we’re out shopping. I do so with a loving heart, to make sure she never starts wearing mom jeans or those puff-painted sweatshirts (again). Department store dressing rooms are like an altar where I give thanks to the giggle gods by trying on hideous things and transforming into the person who would wear them. Retired, chain-smoking Floridian? Snooki’s second cousin (the one no one likes to talk about)? Stripper trying to cover her dark past and pay her way through college? Been there, donned that.

I’d love to hear about some of your ‘episodes’ (the more inappropriate, the better)! Until then, I’ll leave you with a giggly clip of one of my favorite shows:

Animals, Lists, TV Junkie, Uncategorized

The #1 Guilty Pleasure By Which I Simply Cannot Abide

Go Jules Go

My SIL (sister-in-law) is great. Smart, loving, responsible. She’s one of my top go-to gals – she can help a sister out with just about anything. But she does have one flaw, and that flaw sounds a lot like the theme song to “7th Heaven.” Do you guys remember that show? I do, unfortunately. Yesterday, SIL reminded me of this nightmare with a nostalgic Facebook post. A dull shudder ran down my spine instantly when I saw this picture:

"When I see their happy faces, smiling back at me"...I'm afraid. Very afraid. Photo credit: cbs.com.

I told SIL I could handle Hugh Hefner, but Eric Camden was another matter. Seriously. Remember all those icky storylines where he’d counsel someone from his church in a far too intrusive way? I think pamphlets were involved, or at least I always imagined they were. And there’d constantly be uncomfortable sexual innuendo with his wife.  Let’s not forget, Aaron Spelling was behind this 11-year-long (!!!) trainwreck, so I really don’t think I’m imagining things.

I concluded with SIL, via Facebook, that they were definitely keeping extra, unseen children in the basement of that huge white house of theirs. After the conversation, though, I still felt unsatisfied. I needed to prove -perhaps only to myself- just how inappropriate this show really was.  And so after half-assed extensive research, I now present to you…

The Top 3 Most Ridiculous “7th Heaven” Moments*

*that I could find on YouTube

#1 – A Heavenly Arsenal

#2 – Read Between the Lines, Mom

#3 – This is Uncomfortable. Er, PERIOD.

And now, just for fun (I like to imagine they’re saying, “Puh-leeeeeeease noooooooo. Make it stooooop!”):

Booze, Everyone Loves a Braggart...Right?, Music, New Jersey is breathtaking, TV Junkie, Uncategorized, Uncle Jesse

How to Have a Guilty Pleasure Weekend in 4 Easy Steps

Go Jules Go

Guilty pleasure bubbykins, I know it’s been a few days since my last post, but get ready for me to make it up to you!! That’s right. Simply follow these 4 easy steps and you’ll be GOGP-ing in no time.

Step #1: Find out you rule even more than you originally thought, as does Lady GaGa, and brag about it shamelessly on your blog.

On Friday morning, thanks to a colleague, I discovered my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification test scores were higher than I thought. I wasn’t particularly keen on being called “moderately proficient” in all 6 test areas, but as it turns out, even scoring “below proficient” on some sections earns you a passing grade. Man. I don’t even know how I keep my head up with all these brains inside it.

On Friday I was also exposed to this brilliant GaGa performance, thanks to Hubster’s Howard Stern-listening ways:

 

Step #2: Throw caution (and your dog’s leash) to the wind and loudly sing Bruno Mars songs in the woods.

On Saturday morning, we welcomed a gloriously sunny, 80-degree day here in western New Jersey, so the fam went for a hike in the Round Valley reservoir area. Why is that a guilty pleasure, you ask? Because, aside from belting out “The Lazy Song“, we let the dog off his leash for the whole 4 miles (shhh)! Who’s a good boy? Uncle Jesse is, yes he is! Look at these little tree huggers:

I really hope my very first stalker sees this and uses it to figure out how to find me on a fair-weather weekend.

Step #3: Do anything that requires you to wear glasses like these:

Photo credit: istockanalyst.com

As for my Saturday evening guilty pleasure activity, it looks like not many of you were as interested as me in seeing the Glee 3D Concert movie, which is supposedly playing for

Work it, girl! (Photo credit: pansophiatree.tumblr.com)

only 2 weeks. Babs, my sister and I were 3 out of only 10 people in the theater. I won’t hold it against you, though, because it isn’t nearly as cool as seeing the concert live in the flesh (they filmed the 3D movie during one of the New Jersey concerts; sadly, not the one I attended). They had some touching ‘underdog’ storylines rolling between songs, but it really was a concert movie, and it’s just not all that fun to sit still and watch a concert, even on the big screen in 3D.

The best part of the concert (aside from any moment featuring Blaine [Darren Criss]) was Brittany (Heather Morris) performing Britney Spears‘ “I’m a Slave 4 U.” That girl can dance! (Sorry, I couldn’t find any quality concert clips of this on YouTube.) Mercedes (Amber Riley) singing one of my favorite Aretha songs (“Ain’t No Way”) was goosebump-inducing, too. Those kids are nauseatingly talented. Can’t wait for Season 3 of “Glee” (airs Wednesday, Sep. 21st on FOX)!

Step #4: Drink [heavily] and practice saying, “The pee-pee does the picking.”

You can take the girl out of Jersey... (Photo credit: http://www.castingduo.com)

On Sunday, all the rain that was ever in the sky decided to fall at once, giving me the perfect excuse to stay inside and do nothing (though it did put a damper on previous ‘mini swim party’ plans I was looking forward to). If drinking vodka tonics and watching reruns of my new favorite show, “Millionaire Matchmaker“, counts as nothing, that is. And I kind of like to think of it as conducting research for you fine people. I may write a post dedicated to this startlingly amazing show, but in the meantime, tune into Bravo since they’re airing marathons practically ’round the clock. If you hate the matchmaker (Patti Stanger) for the first 5 minutes, beware. So did I.

Everyone Loves a Braggart...Right?, Food, Uncategorized, Wipe the Drool

Food Porn

Go Jules Go

You know what I don’t talk about nearly enough for someone who claims to be a guilty pleasure connoisseur?

FOOD!

I love food. Food is great. I totally live to eat (and not the other way around). Last night I made an in-my-head-recipe for vegetable lasagna that was so good I feel compelled to tell everyone I’ve seen since then about it. I always use whole milk, full-fat cheeses (lots of different kinds: provolone, asiago, mozzarella, parmesan, ricotta), and this time I blended a bag of fresh spinach into the ricotta cheese blend – WOWZAH! Look:

The green on the sides is the ricotta-spinach blend...oozing out, delicious and creamy and gooey.

It also helps that I was able to use 3 kinds of fresh, organic basil from my husband’s (a.k.a. The Peppermeister) garden.

And as long as we’re on the topic of my culinary prowess, I should tell you I have quite a reputation when it comes to baking. I’m excited to share with you a few of my favorite online dessert recipes, along with some of my trade secrets. I hope you’ll try one (or all) of them out and let me know how it goes!

General Baking Tips (I wouldn’t do this for just anyone, guilty pleasure snookums)

  • With rare exceptions, FOLLOW THE RECIPE! People who like to cook sometimes struggle with this baking principle; the order and the measurements make all the difference in baking
  • I HIGHLY recommending using AirBake pans for your cookies and keep a close eye once they’re in the oven – cookies still look a little soft/raw in the middle when they’re done (that is, if you like soft, chewy cookies like me)
The AirBake pans I use look like this.
  • The more you try, the better you get! You have no idea how many things I’ve screwed up on the first go ’round
  • Don’t worry about having your butter and eggs sit out until they’re room temperature before you start making your recipe if you don’t have time (just soften your butter in the microwave and use cold eggs) – it really doesn’t matter that much, despite what you might have heard!
  • Barefoot Contessa would burn me alive for this, but don’t worry about using unsalted butter – just don’t add any additional salt to the recipe if using salted butter
  • One thing that DOES matter: real vanilla! I’ve heard real vanilla bean is best, but I’m very happy with McCormick’s pure vanilla extract (NOT imitation)
  • If you don’t bake often, be mindful of when your dry ingredients expire/go stale

Black Bottom Cupcakes – you and your family/friends will go into a happy food coma from one of these!

Cupcakes before frosting. Photo credit: http://www.allrecipes.com
  • Use foil muffin tin liners – they peel off easily
  • Once cooled, frost with cream cheese icing* and sprinkle with the leftover mini chocolate chips
  • Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight before serving (like anything with tomato sauce, anything with cream cheese seems to taste better after it ‘settles’)

Thumbprint Cookies – these are soft, buttery and delicious and changed my opinion on thumbprint cookies!

Photo credit: http://www.landolakes.com
  • If rolling in nuts, toast the nuts first (I use my toaster oven and it only takes about a minute) and then chop them into nearly a powder using a mini Cuisinart (if you have one). At Christmastime, I like to roll some in nuts and some in red or green sprinkles (they’re very pretty)
  • Make sure you’re using a jam filling that you would want to eat on its own (and remember that some people will only eat seedless jam) – it’s the centerpiece of the cookie. One of my favorites is Dickinson’s Cascade Mountain seedless raspberry jam (I can usually find this brand at any grocery store), but the best I ever had was some random gourmet brand I found at HomeGoods (I really should have written the name down!)
  • You do need to grease your baking pans for these (unlike with most other cookies) – it doesn’t really matter if you use a spray or softened butter

Old-Fashioned Oatmeal Raisin Cookies – just like grandma made, if you were lucky enough to live near a grandmother that baked

Photo credit: http://www.landolakes.com
  • You also do need to grease your baking sheets for these
  • Remember to buy quick-cooking oats, not old-fashioned (I guess the name of these cookies is pretty misleading!)
  • I like to buy raisins that come in a ziploc pouch; they seem fresher/softer
  • I’ve determined that it’s the 2 cups of brown sugar that have people react by saying screaming they’re the best oatmeal-raisin cookies they’ve ever had

*My tried and true cream cheese icing recipe

1 bar (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened

1 stick (1/2 c.) butter, softened

1 tsp. vanilla

2 c. powdered sugar

Beat butter and cream cheese together using an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Blend in vanilla, and finally sugar, about 1/2 cup at a time so you don’t turn into one of these guys:

We should have listened to gojulesgo. Photo credit: http://www.partybuzz.com.

HAPPY BAKING!

Everyone Loves a Braggart...Right?, Marriage, Uncategorized

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Go Jules Go
Cheers, me!

Wedding anniversaries are a time to reflect, to pay tribute to the (wo)man of our dreams, to sit back and say, “I love you.”

Or, in my case, “You’re welcome.”

I’ve done so much for you, my hygienic, good-garbage-taker-outer husband; it’s really something special. I’d like to take this time to remind you of all the wonderful things I’ve brought to your life over the years. Why, just 3 years ago, I was willing to learn the Fox Trot for our wedding so people would stop talking about how I have all the class in the relationship. Then there was that time I told you your marriage proposal had to be top-notch because I wanted you to harness your creativity. Oh, and let’s not forget those occasional hormonal meltdowns, where I let you practice being sensitive.

It seems almost too obvious to mention how I graciously allow you to do all the grocery shopping and cooking so you can simultaneously develop your budgeting skills and palette. Or how I occasionally have you read my blog posts in advance so you can fine tune your sense of humor.

I do all of these things for you, ball and chain Spouse. I know sometimes you have trouble putting your gratitude into words and it comes out more like, “You’re so pretty” or “You’re perfect.” It’s okay. I understand. (It’s this same understanding that’s taught you to be so patient and empathetic. But no, no. No need to thank me for that.)

I think one of your students, on the back of your birthday card two weeks ago, put it best (she must have read my witty post about proper greeting cards):

From the bottom of my heart, Mr. gojulesgo, you’re welcome.

Kvetching, Uncategorized

Oh No She Didn’t!!! I MEAN YOU, TALBOTS.

Go Jules Go
Photo credit (before annotation): us.zeereport.com

Okay. Okay. I need to take a few deep breaths before writing this post.

Ladies, you are not going to believe this (and Gents, you really should stay tuned, too, especially if you’re having trouble in the dating world and don’t know why).

I went to Talbots* today, with Babs. Not because I love Talbots, or even because I needed clothes, but because I wanted to go shopping, and Babs loves Talbots. I was wearing a lovely, feminine, new pink top that Babs bought me from the Gap, and I was feeling quite delicate and spiffy.

As we roamed the racks, I loaded my arm with a few articles of clothing. A female sales clerk, about my age (29), wandered over and asked the typical, “Can I start a dressing room for you?”

“Yes, thanks, that would be great,” I replied, also in typical fashion. I transferred my findings to her and continued to sort through the on-sale pants.

Then…

Then!

Then!!!

She says, “I can see we’re about the same size. I have trouble fitting in those [pants you really like and were planning on trying on, and perhaps even spending your hard-earned money on]. We have a promotion now on our curvy line. Let me grab you a pair. …I don’t mean to deter you or anything.”

Wha…

Huh??

Who…are…

AHHHHHH!!!!!!

No. No no no. This is NOT okay!!!! Her Girl Card should be revoked IMMEDIATELY. Men, if you’ve hung on this long, you’re tops. Also, don’t EVER talk about a girl’s size, or compare her to anyone else! This is like…I can’t even…

Oh. I’m so sad.

*Talbots, in case you don’t already know, is an obnoxiously boring, stuffy “clothing” store where they only sell things that dated, snotty, meanie-heads would wear. (Sorry, Babs. But I’ve been trying to tell you. For, like, 15 years.)

Mind Your Manners, Uncategorized

Sincerely Yours, Caring McCantYouSeeImTryingHere

Go Jules Go

I promised you, guilty pleasure sweetums, that I’d let you know how you were doing when it came to your greeting cards. A few months ago, I hilariously rudely chastised those who merely scribble their name inside birthday/holiday cards, which, thinking back, is pretty ironic (can you rudely correct rudeness? Or do they cancel each other out?). I’ve heard from many of you since then; in fact, other than my flask story, it’s the post that seems to have made the biggest ripple through my inner circle. (Don’t be fooled. There is no outer circle.)

The outcome? You care, you really, really care! I see it, and I’m proud of you. You made my day(s). Just look (click on any of the pictures to enlarge):

Exhibit A+

My brother's girlfriend rockin' the left-hand side with an illustration of my birthday gift.

Exhibit B-u-ti-ful

My BFF gets it.

Exhibit C How Much They Care?

Birthday card from the in-laws. I love this.

Exhibit D-lightful

Babs took this picture in Times Square to make my birthday card (we went to the play for my b-day)! She taught me everything I know about proper greetings.

Exhibit E-lated That You Care

A drawing AND a blog shout-out in the birthday card from Hubster. He's no fool.
TV Junkie, Uncategorized, Vampires

Well…This is Awkward

Go Jules Go
Photo credit: mtv.com

I know I’m supposed to be your guilty pleasure goddess, right? And at this point you rely on me as something of an immoral compass – as long as I continue to go off the guilty pleasure deep end, you can rationalize your own guilty pleasures, right?

I was afraid that.

Because I have a confession to make.

Arg. Look at me, I'm acting so scary. Arg. Photo credit: tvworthwatching.com

You know how MTV started airing a new show, Teen Wolf, this summer? And how it has everything I normally geek out over, guilty pleasure-style (teens with little adult supervision, werewolves, leather jackets…)? Well…

I kinda…sorta…

DON’T LIKE IT! I’m sorry! I know. What’s wrong with me?? It just sits in my DVR, taunting me. Is it the terrible acting on the part of the male lead (the teen wolf)? Does it take itself too seriously? Or is it just that Buffy (my all-time favorite show ever ever ever) set the bar too high?

On the flip side, I LOVE MTV’s other new summer show, Awkward. It fills a little bit of the hole My Life as Liz and My So-Called Life left behind.  The one negative is that it’s only 30 minutes long.

What do you guys think? Should I be dethroned?