Category: Uncategorized

Just For Fun, Lists, PSAs, Uncategorized

All I Want for Christmas is Your G.D. Wish List!

Go Jules Go

Let me start off by saying ’tis the season of giving.  But if you’re one of those modest people who doesn’t want to make a Christmas Wish List, you’re probably just frustrating your loved ones. I know you don’t want that. Make one, send it, pronto! Guaranteed free shipping before Dec. 25th doesn’t last forever, Chipmunks.

Every year, my husband, The Peppermeister, e-mails our family his Christmas Wish List in a timely manner. People look forward to it.

Here’s [a few examples of] why:

2007

Ok so here is the list that you have all been waiting for.  I know that you all love me and I will get everything on this list.  I am so lucky to have such terrific parents, a great pregnant sister and brother in law and a good enough fiance’.  As always, please communicate with one another to ensure that this christmas is among the best i’ve ever had.

2008

As always, I encourage you to look for great deals.  Deviating from the list is not encouraged, and frowned upon.  I categorized them to make it easier for you, my beloved family.

For the Bar (Because a man needs a cave, and that cave needs cliché bar stuff)

1. Sweet dartboard with wooden doors and chalk boards for score keeping (I’d like real darts, not electronic or rubber, safety is NOT a priority)

For General Practicality and “bad-ass-edness” (Because you never know when the zombie apocalypse will occur)

1. Wind up (crank) LED flashlight without radio

–and–

2.  Wind up (crank) flashlight with am/fm radio

3. Leatherman 830032 Blast Multitool with Leather Sheath

Gift Cards (Because I want you to take money that used to be good everywhere, and make it good in only one place)

1. Target – “Terrget”

2. Gamestop

2011

Happy Birthday Jesus!
This year, I’ve tried to make things as easy as possible for my generous family. I’ve created an Amazon wish list.
When trying your best to please me this Christmas, be sure to note the following:
-There are two pages on that wish list.
-I have plenty of sweaters.

And another painless year of holiday shopping commences.

Do you have any wish list wins or woes?

Uncategorized

A Warm and Fuzzy…Monster in Your Closet?

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Photo Credit: blogs.middlebury.edu

Spunky ‘munks, several months ago I had the absolute privilege of writing a guest post for Deborah Bryan’s blog, The Monster in Your Closet.

I wrote this guest post for Deb’s series, For This I Am Thankful. Deb scheduled my post for December 2nd, which means it went up today! I’m very excited and hope you’ll check it out here: Life is Like An Empty Box of Chocolates (Because I Ate Them All).

Saint Deb

I’m in good company with the past contributors; their lovely posts have covered a wide range of topics woven together by their theme of gratitude. All are more than worth reading (you can do so here).

Many of you know Deb, but for those of you who don’t, don’t be misled by her blog title – Deb Bryan is currently in the running for sainthood. Her ability to encourage writers and build blogging communities rivals her ability to write kick-chipmunk-tail young adult novels. I recently read The Monster’s Daughter and you should DEFINITELY check it out! Deb is also the winner of my first video blogging contest, which is one of my favorite posts to date. (I’m not sure I could ever pick a favorite post of Deb’s, but this one is up there.)

In other guilty pleasure news, I’ve got lots of goodies to share with you over the coming weeks! Gingerbread may or may not will be involved. And don’t worry – I haven’t forgotten about my plan to bring back slap bracelets (mentioned in my vlog). Stay tuned.

Uncategorized, Uncle Jesse, Wipe the Drool

The Postest with the Mostest – #100!!!

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Hunky Chipmunks, this post is epic. It’s…

My 100th Post!!!

Can I get a what-what? I knew this one had to be special, and as usual, the guilty pleasure gods were on my side.

My most chipmunkalicious friend, Jenn (ya’ll probably remember her from this special post or our guest interview on JM Randolph’s blog), discovered a pet photographer through her volunteer work at the animal shelter, 11th Hour Rescue.

Meet Joseph Frazz.

Photo credit: reviewobserver.net.

Joe is awesome for a lot of reasons, like the fact that he volunteers his time to visit shelters and take amazing pictures of cats and dogs. Because what better way to help them get adopted than by showing them in their best light?

Jenn hired Joe to take pictures of her dog, Shunderson, last weekend.

Joseph Frazz Photograpy

She showed me some of the pics and I lost my shiz.

Joseph Frazz Photography

I told her I would have to hire Joe, too. She replied, “Well…I kind of already did as your Christmas present.” Cue tear-fest.

Joe came over yesterday and conducted Uncle Jesse’s first photo shoot. Naturally, Uncle Jesse felt it was long overdue. Much like his mother, he’s a supermodel at heart. He kept his demands low, and only required filtered water and hand-rolled cigarettes, a new squeaky toy and a bag of organic chicken-flaxseed treats.

Technically, he's Australian.

(Don’t worry, as soon as I get the rest of the pics, you’ll be the first to know.)

Make sure to check out more of Joe’s phenomenal photography on his Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Joseph-Frazz-Photography/114981261894705

Uncategorized, Vampires, Wipe the Drool

Guilty Pleasure Overdose…Someone Call 9-1-FUN!

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Chipmunks, I… I can’t even… I mean it’s just so… Deep breath. Okay. I’m having trouble typing because of THIS ARTICLE.

Have mercy!

Second Husband (Darren Criss) + People’s Sexiest Man Alive photo shoot = eating peanut butter cups and drinking champagne on a cloud while watching Glee and having someone tell me I’m perfect.

Here’s a sneak peek:

Clearly the guilty pleasure gods wish to appease me.

He looks like Eric from The Little Mermaid*. Or, you know, like every dream come true.

I am going to have to add a new bullet point to my “Why Polygamy is the Right Choice for You” presentation (if you think this presentation is just a figment of my imagination, you don’t know me very well): You can be the pretty one in the relationship. Pinky swear.

All right. I think I can move on now, to what this post was originally supposed to be about (oops).

I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 this weekend (I’ll give you a moment to recover from the shock). I thought it was a lot more carefully done than Eclipse and I always enjoy seeing my favorite books come to life on the silver screen. I especially loved the wedding speeches and the closing shot.

I have a whole new set of ideas for my second wedding now. Photo credit: twilightnewssite.com

What did you think of Breaking Dawn?! (Feel free to ignore this question to comment instead about how much joy I will bring to Second Husband’s abs life.)

*I spent a considerable amount of time coming up with Little Mermaid puns for this paragraph, and then thought better of it…until this footnote. Here’s my favorite:

You’re the dinglehopper to my bad hair day.

Uncategorized

Remembering My Personal Hero

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My boss used to call me the glue that held things together, but I always knew better.

On November 24, 2010, five days after Carol passed away, I faced the most challenging moment of my then 28 years. After her funeral ceremony, I shook the hand of her 16-year-old son, the same son she’d leave every afternoon meeting to talk to on the phone, and somehow managed to say, “I’m Julie. I’m so sorry.”

For almost two years, Carol battled a rare form of lymphoma. She diligently led her team of over a hundred people, until June of 2010, when she finally took a leave of absence. On that late June afternoon, she came by my cubicle to personally tell me of her plans, like she would do on any normal day. I was afraid to ask questions, and Carol knew me well enough by then -after 5+ years- to know I couldn’t handle the gory details. Her eyes spoke a grave truth, but there was no doubt in my mind she would recover and return.

She’d get better, of course, because she was strong. The strongest person I knew. My hero.

Even though 87 pay grades separated us, Carol refused to let anyone take advantage of my original position as a glorified secretary. She genuinely sought my opinion whenever people were interviewed, or a process wasn’t working out. When I had my first meltdown, she handed me a box of tissues and told me she knew I could do it.  A few months before she took a leave of absence, when I dyed my hair brown, she told me it wasn’t me. I wondered who she saw.

Our paths first crossed unexpectedly. Right after graduating from college, my then boyfriend’s (now husband’s) sister suggested I come work in her department – in Big Pharma. “It’s only a year-long contract,” she explained, “and the pay is really good.”

With student loan payments looming, and no other prospects on the horizon, I agreed. As a creative writing student with dreams of pursuing fame and fortune in the arts, I simply couldn’t appreciate how lucky I was to walk into this kind of position without so much as a formal interview. I knew nothing about drug development; I’d never even taken biology or chemistry, for god’s sake. I was completely out of my element in a department full of MDs, MBAs, PharmDs, and some degrees I didn’t know existed.

Some people never understood why I was Carol’s right-hand woman. I can’t say I know for sure either, but the one memory that quite possibly sums it up? Why, it just so happens to feature a favorite guilty pleasure:

One day in 2005, Carol stopped by my desk and pointed to a sign that I’d had on my cubicle wall for the past 6 months, since I’d started working for her – this one:

“You know,” she said, “after all this time, I finally came over and read what it said, because I couldn’t believe you’d have one of those posters. I should have known better.”

[Photo credit: despair.com]

TV Junkie, Uncategorized

Why Don’t the Duggars Dance?

Go Jules Go
But they like music...

This week whenever I heard a fly beat I felt like little elves chipmunks were scurrying around in my limbs, making me shimmy and shake like Shakira someone with two left feet. (Renée, I know you know what I’m talkin’ about!)

I’ve also been catching up on one of my favorite TLC shows (what would we do without them, Sprinkles?!), 19 Kids and Counting. One of the episodes was an interview episode, where people from ’round the globe submitted questions to the 21-strong (and counting…) Duggar family. Perhaps the most interesting question was fielded by 20-year-old Jill Duggar: “Why is it a family rule not to dance?”

The answer (if it looks like words are missing it’s because sweet Jill is shy and skirting around some things):

I don’t think it’s necessarily a rule. We don’t want to stir up desires, just different things that, um, cannot be…righteously fulfilled, that cannot be, um, I don’t know, so, anyways, our family has chosen not to dance.

Jim Bob, the patriarch, added that they try not to “shake body parts around” to draw attention to their bodies. When asked if the family was familiar with the Beatles, Jim Bob diplomatically responded that the Beatles were very talented musicians, but

Unholy goodness. Photo credit: abcnews.go.com

his family prefers classical and Christian music. He said his children probably don’t know who the Beatles are.

Sigh. I heart the Duggars. I really do. I think they’re lovely. But…

No dancing? I don’t get it. They wake board and sky dive and make tater tot casserole. There is nothing pure about tater tot casserole.

I can’t imagine not busting a move when I hear tunes like this. (Trust me, you want to click on that link.) Seriously. A world without dancing? Why don’t you just take away chipmunks while you’re at it?

What do you think of the no dancing rule?

Uncategorized

Let’s Kick This Writing Shiz Up a Notch

Go Jules Go

Cheery Chipmunks, I’m sure you’ve noticed (har har) that I haven’t been quite as active in the blogosphere over the last few weeks. True, my guilty pleasures keep me well occupied and we were without power for 7 days, but I’ve also been working on other writing projects. No, I’m not talking about my series of woodland creature haikus or the “Why Polygamy is the Right Choice for You” presentation for Second Husband.

Hang on. Just thought of a really good bullet point for the presentation… You will possess the ultimate conversation bomb.

Okay. So. Other writing. I wouldn’t call it cheating on you so much as experimenting. I have one complete piece that I don’t think I can agonize over any more (and by that I mean for another 3 years). It’s time to get serious.

Do you have any tips on finding a literary agent* and/or the submission process? If not, can you tell me in 15 words or less why the chicken crossed the road and if it’s safe to eat him?

*If you are a literary agent, may I just say: No one understands quality prose like you do.

Chipmunks Forever, Just For Fun, Lists, Uncategorized

Today Is Special…and So Are You!

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This is you, if you were a rainbow. Photo credit: http://www.goldengatephoto.com

Cherubic chipmunks, today is the most magical day ever. It’s:

11–11–11!!!

What, you mean you don’t always make a wish every time the clock hits 11:11? And your favorite actor‘s birthday isn’t today? …Hmm. Okay. If you don’t think today is special, maybe we should talk about other special things. Things for which you will not be able to deny their specialness.

On this most bewitching day, I’d like to introduce you to [some of] the people I hold nearest and dearest. Also known as…

People Who Rock My Guilty Pleasure World

1. Babs

Don't worry. She likes surprises.

Babs is the Mommasita extraordinaire. She taught me everything I know about guilty pleasures, namely, how to harmlessly stalk celebrities. Babs also showed me the way around a Long Island Iced Tea (or seven) and how to write a proper greeting card. Sometimes I don’t even know why I bothered with school.

Babs is special because she agreed to have a third child when she only wanted two. Also because she makes people feel good just by being around, and she doesn’t even know it.

2. Peppermeister

Look at this little baby-faced couple (circa 2005)!

My hubster, the one and only Peppermeister, taught me how to embrace guilty pleasures that I might have otherwise been too embarassed to share (er, like this one). He’s also the person who convinced me to start a blog, and is there any greater guilty pleasure than blogging about guilty pleasures (as I’ve mentioned before, it’s like trying to stare at the sun)?

Peppermeister is special because he once told a college english class -before we were dating- that I was “appropriately feminine.” Also because he’s the funniest, most selfless person I’ve ever met.

3. Bee-atch

On one of our more conservative shopping trips to Wal-Mart.

My Big Sis (actually, not-so-big – homegirl has lost almost 100 lbs. in the past year!) knows a thing or two about guilty pleasures. What she does with Pilsbury crescent rolls could blow your mind. She’s an inspiration!

Bee-atch is special because she lets me live vicariously through her dating life and is super-fun when she’s drunk. Also because she’s the only person I know who can dish it out as well as she can take it.

4. Bestie

I don't know why she didn't marry me. Look how happy I make her.

Some of you know Bestie, a.k.a. Jenn, from our stellar interview on JM Randolph’s blog. More than 11 years ago, Bestie rescued me from the depths of bad poetry despair and told me to have some g.d. fun! From animals dressed as other animals to vodka to hilarious Hallmark cards, she gets it.

Bestie is special because she thinks it’s funny when I’m angry. Also because she’s one of the smartest, most talented chicks on the planet. (Let’s see if I can convince her to introduce her music to the blogosphere…)

5. SIL

What a nice sister and girlfriend this band dude had - wearing his face on our shirts! And yes, this is in front of the legendary Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ.

SIL (sister-in-law) helped me write an entire blog post, and in fact it’s one of the most popular to this day. If that isn’t guilty pleasure inspiration, I don’t know what is!

SIL is special because she remembers more things about my life than I do. Also because she welcomes people into her heart and home even when they’re trying to secretly date her only sibling.

6. YOU!

Duh! You are totally special, too! I mean for starters, you have impeccable taste. You are also overwhelmingly attractive, and that counts for a lot everything.

You are special because you knew me when I was just an awesome blogger. Also because you take the time out of your busy day to encourage your fellow writers.

P.S. – If you’d like to repay me for all the compliments, please email me the secret(s) to levitation.

Animals, PSAs, Uncategorized

Animals Dressed As Interviews

Go Jules Go

I don’t know, guys. I mean, chipmunks. You’re probably thinking there’s not much I could do to top my last post.

WRONG!

Check out the guest post interview (click here) I did for JM Randolph’s (Accidental Stepmom) AWESOME weekly feature, Full-Assed Friday. I interviewed my good kick-butt friend, Jenn, about her work at the New Jersey-based animal shelter, 11th Hour Rescue. Don’t think I can make that topic funny? Ha! Wrong again! 

Oh and if you’re suffering from contest withdrawal? Take a looksie at Tinkerbelle’s (Laughter is Catching) fun contest and prove that YOU dress the fanciest!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Photo courtesy of: http://members.petfinder.org/~NJ376/Index.htm.

I'm Going To Chop My Ear Off Any Day Now, Uncategorized, Vampires, Vlogalicious

And the Winner of GOGP’s First Video Blogging Contest IS…

Go Jules Go

Furry-in-a-hurry chipmunks, do you know how hard this was? A month ago, I decided to run a little video blogging contest, asking readers to submit a 30-second video about their silliest guilty pleasures. I wasn’t sure anyone would want to play along, and was thrilled (T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D) when Darla immediately jumped on board, encouraging several others to make a vlog soon thereafter.

I loved all of the submissions, for completely different reasons. I had a prize in mind for each and every one of you. Everyone is a winner.

Except there’s only one winner. 

This winner stole my heart while broadcasting from inside her closet. I think we can all agree her submission is hilarious – it even got Peppermeister laughing (and he doesn’t like to admit the things I think are funny are actually funny, even though they totally always are). That’s right. The winner is…

Deb from The Monster in Your Closet!!!

And now, I present to Deb her highly sought-after, one-of-a-kind prize: A custom jack-o-lantern! 

It started this morning with a sketch – should I try to carve Deb’s guilty pleasure (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), I wondered, or go with an homage to her blog theme (The Monster in Your Closet)? Here’s what I chose:

That didn’t seem quite right. So, I thought about making the monster look like Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.:

Still not right. Finally, I decided to make the monster a vampire-monster, to get the best of both worlds. He’s friendly because Deb is so sweet:

Next came taping the drawing onto the pumpkin, with Uncle Jesse (my dog) looking on curiously:

I transfered the outline of the drawing by poking holes into the pumpkin:

After carving, it looked like this:

And at last, the final product (picture taken, I should note, from inside my own closet)!

Hi Deb! My, you're looking winny today.

Congratulations, Deb!! You too are a guilty pleasure goddess. I would like to leave you with some Buffy dialogue about winning:

WHILE PLAYING THE GAME OF LIFE:

Anya: Crap! Look at this. Now I’m burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage…

Xander: That means you’re winning.

Anya: Really?

Xander: Yes, cash equals good.

Anya: Ooh, I’m so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?

P.S. – If I stop responding to comments, someone please check Renée’s basement. (On a related note, if you haven’t seen her vlog submission, you really should watch it here. It puts the treat in trick-or-treat.)